


Empty Bargains ~Jason McCann~

by KitIsTheOne



Category: Justin Bieber (Musician)
Genre: Conflict, Drugs, Explicit Language, F/M, Gangs, Guns, Hostage Situations, Internal Conflict, Love, Love/Hate, Mild Language, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-02-11 18:37:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 111,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2078832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitIsTheOne/pseuds/KitIsTheOne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I have nothing else to offer you," Markus barked through gritted teeth, his fists clenched hard at his sides.</p><p>Jason shook his head, chuckling.  "I only want one thing, and it's in this room," he sneered.</p><p>My brother took a step closer to me, trying to push me toward the door.  Jason's eyes flashed over and caught mine, a glint in his eye while a shiver went down my spine.</p><p>"What do you want?" Markus asked, impatient.</p><p>Jason's head nodded in my direction.  I froze and the room fell deafeningly silent.</p><p>"I want her."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 9.03

       "Put that shit down," I shook my head at Tyler, drumming my fingernails on the wooden table between us.

  
        He rolled his eyes at me, taking another drag from the cigarette in his hand.  Tyler knew I hated it when he smoked, but was too hooked to stop.  Second-hand smoking was what had gotten him into it; his parents' fault, and probably Markus's as well.  They split a half-pack per day between the two of them, stinking up the whole house.  It gave me a headache, and I smelled like smoke wherever I went.  
  
        "Ty, really," I said, resting my chin in my hand.  "You're going to give me a migraine, and  _you're_  going to be the one to deal with my attitude."  
  
        He puffed out a cloud of smoke and I wrinkled my nose.  "I always have to deal with your attitude, babe."  
  
        I jutted out my lower lip and crossed my arms over my chest.  Slowly, I rose from my seat and walked over to Tyler, my feet padding on the wood flooring.  His eyes followed me as I pushed his chair out from the table and straddled his lap.  I took the cigarette from his hand and reached behind me to put it out in the ash tray on the table, then wrapped my arms around his neck.  
  
        "You love my attitude, though," I teased, my mouth drawing up in the corners.  
  
        "I do," Tyler replied, leaning his forehead against mine.  "Almost as much as I love you."  
  
        I closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of cologne that made it past all of the smoke.  I didn't say I loved him back, but I didn't have to.  Tyler's arms wrapped around my waist and hugged me closer.  I felt his face move closer, ducking to kiss me, but I pulled back.  
  
        "Ah-ah," I mumbled, staring into his vibrant blue eyes.  "What have I always told you?"  
  
        "Screw your rules," Tyler breathed, forcing his lips onto mine and pulling me even tighter to his chest.  I kissed him for a second, but didn't let him deepen it.  Pulling back, I made a face.  
  
        "Ty, I can't stand cigarette smoke, let alone cigarette  _mouth_."  I made a show of wiping my lips, then brushed my hand into his dark hair.  "Brush your teeth or chew some  _really_  strong gum."  
  
        "I don't have time for things like that," he argued, tickling my sides.  I batted his hands away quickly, giggling a bit.  "I only have time for my girl."  
  
        I smiled, leaning in to give him a small kiss.  Smiling, I pulled back.  "Maybe we can bend the rules a bit."  
  
        A door banged open in the kitchen, the one that lead to the garage.  I peered over Tyler's shoulder and the counter behind him to see Peter walking in, a bag slung on his shoulder.  He wore a cap on his head, his sandy hair pushed back into it.  
  
        "Hey Runt," I said with a smile, turing in Tyler's lap so both of my legs were on his right side.  "You're out a little late."  
  
        Peter gave me a wry smile, the one he always dealt when someone called him the nickname he'd earned when we took him in.  "Nice to see you too, Little L."  
  
        He made his way into the kitchen and dropped the bag on the counter.  My eye caught a formula bottle in the pouch on the side, and I smiled.  "Is BB here?"  
  
        "Yes she is!" a high voice came from behind Peter.  
  
        My grin deepened.  "Chloe!"  I climbed off of Tyler's lap and hurried into the kitchen, giving Peter's girlfriend a tight hug before bending down to greet Bella in her carrier.  "And how are you, Miss BB?"  The baby giggled, green eyes shining.  She looked just like Chloe, and her blond curls grew just as fast.  
  
        "Could you take her for a minute?" Chloe asked.  
  
        I could tell she was flustered, and nodded before reaching down for the carrier.  I turned and lifted it onto the counter, making faces at Bella as I unbuckled her harness.  Pulling her out, I placed her against my hip and walked into the dining room, where Tyler was still sat.  I saw him reach for another cigarette, but swooped in to bat his hand.  
  
        "Tyler Zachary Mendall!" I admonished, scowling at him.  "There is a child in the room who doesn't need to be swimming through smoke."  Tyler sighed, giving me a look.  I stared him down right back, narrowing my eyes before turning back to Bella.  "How is my BB?"  
  
        I'd always called her Baby Bella, but once it caught on with the boys, we shortened it to just BB.  She was Peter and Chloe's daughter, the most beautiful little girl I'd ever seen.  Peter had gotten kicked out of his house for getting his girlfriend pregnant at sixteen, but judging by the way the couple acted, neither of them cared what had happened anymore, as long as they were together.  Bella had turned a year old three months ago, and was as spoiled as two seventeen-year-olds could make her.  
  
        Bella kicked her feet, smiling and tugging on my hair.  I kissed her forehead, my grin almost wider than my face.  I could've sworn I loved Bella as much as Chloe and Peter did.  She was literally a bundle of joy.  
  
        "BB almost makes me want a little girl," I said, my words pointed jokingly at Tyler.  Chloe snorted from the kitchen.  I turned back to Tyler, his jaw slack and staring at me incredulously.  "Kidding, babe."  
  
        "Dammit!" I heard Chloe yell as something clattered to the floor.  It sounded like plastic, probably BB's formula bottle.  Although Bella was old enough to go without, Chloe insisted she still needed it.  
  
        "Shh!" I said quickly, covering Bella's ear with my free hand.  "There are little ears in the room."  
  
        Chloe just huffed and grabbed a roll of paper towels that Peter handed to her.  He rubbed her back as she bent down to wipe something up.  My attention drifted back to Tyler, my body spinning to ask when my brother would get back.  I found him with another cigarette in his mouth, lighter poised to start it.  The guilty look on his face told me that he knew I'd get frustrated.  
  
        "Outside," I told him, pointing toward the door leading to the garage.  "Now."   He sighed and stood, stealing a kiss from me on the way.  I then pointed my question at Peter.  "Do you think Markus and my brother will be back soon?"  
  
        "Probably," Peter nodded at me, leaning back against the counter.  "It's already nine, and they said the run wouldn't take too long."  
  
        I nodded, readjusting BB on my hip.  It seemed like those two were always out on runs, now.  Honestly, I was surprised that Markus was giving us so much free reign on the house.  After the last time Emmett had a friend over, we all thought the house was set to go under martial law.  My brother had been furious that the house had been turned upside down, but Markus was more forgiving.  
  
    “Speaking of being out late,” Peter’s head lifted, scanning the room.  “Where’s Emmett?  He owes me gas money.”  
  
    I rolled my eyes.  “Who knows?  Probably out drinking and going at it with another girl.”  
  


    Peter shrugged.  “Sounds reasonable.”

 

    “Can I have the little monster back?” Chloe poked her head up over the counter, tossing her used paper towels at Peter.  “Time for her to eat.”

 

    I walked around to the kitchen and passed Bella to her mom, blowing a kiss at the little girl before strolling back into the dining room.  “Are you two staying tonight?”

 

    “Yes ma’am,” Chloe answered, handing Bella her formula.  She held it in her hands and grimaced at it before putting it in her mouth.  “Got in a little argument with the ‘rents earlier.  Mom told me I had an hour to get out of the house, and Pete swooped in for the rescue.”

 

    She smiled deeply, kissing Peter’s cheek.  I watched the adorable exchange between the two, always happy to be around each other.  Bella made a noise of protest as she was sandwiched in between her parents, pushing against their chests as they pulled in for a group hug.  They were the perfect family—or at least as perfect as that young of a family could be.

 

    The garage door opened suddenly, Tyler making his way in.  Sam and Markus followed in, looking bored.  I scowled as Tyler walked over to give my cheek a kiss, a pointed effort to annoy me with his cigarette breath.  Pushing on his chest, I turned to my brother.

 

    “What’s the matter, Sam?” I joked.  “Another run not exciting enough for you?”

 

    He rolled his eyes, ruffling my hair as he passed.  “Maybe we’ll have to bring you on the next one to spice things up a bit.”

 

    “I’ll have to hold you to that,” I called after him as he turned up the stairs, his heavy footsteps fading to the upper level.

 

    “This place had nothing,” Markus said from the kitchen, bending down to look in the fridge as his foot propped the door open.  He stood, a jug of orange juice in his hand.  “You’d think the East Side would have more marijuana than three ounces.”

 

    I laughed.  “That’s it?  For that, you could pay for almost half the gas it takes to drive out there.”

 

    Markus tipped his head back, drinking straight from the jug.  He let out a deep breath as he finished, twisting the cap back on and sliding it into the fridge.  “There wasn’t any merch either.  All we saw was a busted up couch and an old radio.”

 

    Our group was what all of California would call a gang.  The label sounded too elementary, to little kid for the kind of people we were, but that’s what we were nonetheless.  How we lived was dealing pot and looting storage warehouses, selling what we found.  It wasn’t the most preferred way of living, but it worked for us.  I just made sure no one started smoking the kind of shit we were dealing.

 

    “The East Side is full of rich assholes,” Peter shook his head.  “They’ve got to have more than that.”

 

    I leaned against the doorway, my hand finding Tyler’s.  “He’s right.  Sounds like someone beat you to the spot.”

 

    Markus shook his head, his elbows finding the counter to rest on.  “I don’t think anyone else knows about that warehouse.  And the idiot we get weed from is a total nobody, purposely flying under the radar.  He’s too stupid to start dealing it out to anyone else.”

 

    I shrugged.  “How many storage units are on the East Side?  All the houses over there are probably big enough to fit everything in that unit two times over; maybe we aren’t the only ones who thought to steal from the rich kids.”

 

    Markus sighed, running a hand through his blond hair.  “It’s possible, but I only know one other guy smart enough to find it.  It’s pretty buried within the city, easy to miss.  But that still doesn’t explain why Elliot was empty.  He’s usually loaded, and someone would have to do some serious digging to find him.”

 

    Tyler scoffed from behind me.  “The kind of digging Jason would do?  This sounds a lot like him.”

 

    Markus glanced at Tyler, then down at the floor.  “He hasn’t screwed with us since March, and the East Side isn’t part of his territory.  Jason probably considers himself untouchable compared to that neighborhood.”

 

    “It isn’t beneath him to trespass,” Peter spoke up, draping his arm around Chloe’s shoulders.  “And if it gets him a little more money and us a little less, you know he’d do it.”

 

    I rolled my eyes.  “He’s like a five year old.  One bad run isn’t going to make us go hungry.”

 

    “A five year old with more than a few guns,” Markus sighed.

 

    Markus had made early enemies with Jason McCann.  Being leaders of two very different groups, seeing eye-to-eye was the least of either of their worries.  Jason always believed in a more forceful way of living—guns were his way of getting things he wanted.  Markus, along with the rest of us, preferred laying low and making ties last.  Jason always lashed out first; back in March, he’d gotten flustered when Markus and Sam lead a run closer to the ‘border’ than Jason would’ve liked.  He’d jabbed a gun in both of their faces, threatening to pull the trigger the next time he saw us anywhere near there.  We’d ignored him, but I still wasn’t fully comfortable with anyone going out by Jason.  Gun beats fist any day.

 

    “Guns are only useful when you have time to aim on a visible target,” Tyler said, rubbing my back with his free hand.  “I don’t want him to start thinking he can screw with us again.  If we went in our way, he’d never see us coming—wouldn’t even have time to blink, let alone fire a gun.”

 

    Chloe tensed next to Peter.  She’d never liked conflicts, especially ones that were serious enough to involve weapons.  She held Bella closer, leaning her head on Peter’s shoulder.  I could tell she was worried for him, but I knew Markus wouldn’t let him go on a run even remotely dangerous enough to risk Bella growing up without a father.  He liked Bella way too much for that.

 

    Markus focused on a spot on the floor, blinking occasionally as he weighed Tyler’s words.  “That could work,” he mumbled, tapping his fingers against the counter.  “I already know where Jason is.”  Markus glanced up, scanning the kitchen and meeting our eyes.  “But if we did go in our way, what happens when the whole house figures out we’re there?  I can guarantee our way wouldn’t work on the way out.”

 

    I blinked.  Markus was right.  Sam, Markus, Tyler, and Emmett collectively owned about five guns.  Jason probably possessed about twenty times that, and then some.  There’s no way we would make it out.

 

    “Who said we had to go for the house?” I spoke up.  “What do you want to bet Jason has a warehouse—or at least a shed—nearby?  It’ll be locked up tight, but it’d be easy to snag a bolt cutter or a key off of whoever’s watching the place.”

 

    Markus snapped his fingers.  “That’ll work.”

 

    He pushed off the counter and left the kitchen, striding through the dining room and up the stairs.  I shrugged, knowing Markus.  Once he figured out a plan, he left.  No one came in or out of his room, and no one talked to him.  Usually he pulled everything together in about an hour, then called us all to the dining room for a talk—which is exactly what he did.

 

    About an hour and a half later, we were all—minus Emmett—gathered around the dining table.  I leaned into Tyler’s shoulder, listening to Markus while glancing back and forth between him and my brother.  Chloe had put Bella down, and was trying to get some rest herself.  Peter looked stoic, trying to decide whether or not Markus was going to let him tag along.

 

    “We’re going to hang back by 36th for a while,” Markus spoke, arms crossed over his chest.  “It’s two blocks from Jason’s place, and from there we can get a good idea of the kind of surveillance is going on.  I’ll send Tyler and Sam ahead to scope out the back, see if there’s any kind of storage around the property.  Then we’ll go from there and work with what we have.  As soon as we step out of the car, everything is silent.  Not a word from anyone.”

 

    I watched as Sam nodded slightly, running a hand through his hair.  I slung my hair, damp from a recent shower, over my shoulder and placed my cheek against Tyler’s bare arm.  He squeezed my waist, holding me closer.

 

    “We’ll leave around ten tomorrow night,” Markus continued.  “I want you all sharp and ready to go.  Hopefully Emmett’s drunk ass will find his way home, and we’ll beat some sense into him.”  He checked his cell, stuffing it in his pocket after he’d shot a quick message.  “Hopefully sleeping all day tomorrow will give him enough awareness to join us.”

 

    The garage door banged open, making me jump.  “What about me?” I heard Emmett’s deep voice call into the house.  “I’m not drunk this time; no need to start swinging.”

 

    “Where the hell have  _you_  been?” Tyler said as Emmett found his way into the dining room.  “You’ve been gone since last night.”

 

    “Technically,” he held up a finger.  “I’ve only been gone since this morning.  I left just after midnight.”

 

    I rolled my eyes.  “That doesn’t answer my question,” Tyler said.

 

    Emmett heaved a sigh, blowing his dark hair.  “I’ve been out—with Liz again.”

 

    We all snickered.  Liz and Emmett had been off and on for months, the longest he’d ever stayed hooked on a girl.  She did something weird to him, and he hated it.  But he didn’t hate her.  Liz shook the drunken man-whore out of Emmett, which just so happened to be one of the best things she’d done for him.  We all gave him crap for staying with one girl since he had a huge issue with fixation, but the truth was that we liked having Liz around for him.

 

    “You just missed a whole discussion,” Markus huffed.  “I’m not going through everything again.”  He rubbed his forehead.  “Long story short; we’re going after Jason.  Just go with it.  We’re going in our style.”

 

    Emmett flashed a thumbs up as he passed, letting out a yawn when his foot landed on the first step of the stairs.  “How long do I have?”

 

    Sam rolled his eyes and checked his phone.  “A whopping 24 hours.  Do with that what you will, but just remember that it’s Jason we’re up against and we need you one hundred percent.”

 

    “I’m on it,” Emmett called down as he walked up the staircase.

 

    As soon as his steps faded, Markus released a breath.  “Alright.  You’ve got a whole day before we go.  Be smart.  I don’t need anyone getting arrested or hung over.”  He waved as he turned.  “I’m heading.”

 

    We all said quick goodnights, then Tyler and I headed up to our room.  It was technically Tyler’s, but I never used my room anymore.  Everyone else knew it, too, so my bedroom had become more of a storage room.

 

    I threw on a pair of Tyler’s boxers and a baggy t-shirt while he showered.  Twisting my hair, I pinned it on top of my head in a bun and curled up on the bed.  The sheets smelled like him, as did the pillows under my head.  My eyes had closed for about ten seconds before I heard a knock at the door.  I sighed and got up, walking on the pads of my feet to see who was there.  When I opened the door, my brother was standing in front of my with his arms crossed.

 

    “Yes?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

 

    “What do you think I’m going to tell you?” he said, more of a statement than a question.

 

    I knew exactly what he meant.  Crossing my arms over my chest, I scowled at him.  “Sam, I’m going on the run.  I’ll be fine.”

 

    “You haven’t been on a run in two weeks, let alone out to Jason’s,” he stated simply.  “It’s not like any others you’ve been on.  He’s not weak; he’s unstable and unpredictable, and has the firepower to kill a lot of people.  I want you to stay back.”

 

    I scoffed.  “You’re a bigger idiot than I thought if you think I’m going to sit here while you go do exactly what you’re telling me not to.”  The water in the bathroom stopped running, and I leaned against the doorframe.

 

    Sam’s jaw clenched.  “I’m not stupid, Phoebe.”  I blinked.  He only used my name when he wanted to prove a point.  “I wouldn’t have said anything if it were anyone other than Jason.”

 

    I closed my eyes, trying to humor my older brother.  “I understand your concern.  But there is no way I’m going to sit this one out.  You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us.”

 

    Sam wrung his hands together, staring me down.  I returned his expression, unmoving.  A few second passed and his face relaxed.  I was every bit as stubborn as he was.  He knew I’d find a way to go whether he wanted me to or not.

 

    “Alright, Little L,” he mumbled, flipping my hair in my face.  I grimaced at him.  “Just…  Don’t get hurt.”

 

    I got up on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek, blinking at him like I always did just to suck up to him.  “I promise I won’t, Big L.  Goodnight.”

 

    He waved, turning as I shut the door.  I made my way over to the bed, sliding down onto it as Tyler came out of the bathroom.  Basketball shorts were slung low on his hips and an old t-shirt covered his chest.  He smiled at me as he tossed his towel in the corner, walking over to the bed and kissing me.

 

    “Sam is right, you know,” he mumbled against my cheek.  “Jason isn’t one you want to get involved with.”

 

    “I know,” I pushed him away.  “I get it.  He’s crazy, he’s dangerous.  How is that any different from how we’re living now?”

 

    He hesitated.  “It just is, Phoebes.  I want you safe as much as your brother does.”

 

    I bit my lip and kissed him again.  “If I promise to not get myself killed, will you let me go?”

 

    He laughed, but it was dry.  Jason was a touchy subject for all of us.  We’d had our record of trouble with him and his group, and had lost several people because of his sense of entitlement and temper.

 

    “I know I’m not getting you to change your mind,” he told me, collapsing onto the bed.  I rested my head in the crook of his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me.  “So I guess I’ll have to hold you to that promise.”

 

    I smiled deeply and sat up to kiss the tip of his nose.  “Don’t worry, babe.  With you there, that asshole won’t lay a finger on me.”


	2. ~9.04~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to say: this story has a lot of profanity, much more than in my other stories. I apologize in advance to all those who were not/are not prepared for that, but seeing as the situations these characters are in, as well as the way they were raised and developed as people, this language would no doubt be embedded into their vocabulary. I am not looking to offend anyone. Thank you all for reading!

    Tyler snagged a kiss from me as I swept past him, buzzing about our room to get dressed.  I had twenty minutes until we left, and I’d been napping most of the day.  My feet padded against the wood floor, my hands sifting through stacks of folded clothes to pull together an outfit.

    Tyler stood next to the bed, hands in the pockets of dark jeans resting low on his hips.  He wore a light jacket, the hood pressed lazily against the back of his neck.  I tossed my shirt at him after tugging it off, then pulled on a navy long sleeve as Tyler threw my worn shirt into the laundry pile.  I did the same with my sweatpants, trading them for a pair of dark skinny jeans.  When I turned back to Tyler he was holding out a pair of black combat boots, and I smiled.

    “You know me too well,” I laughed, taking them from him and sliding the boots on.

    He kissed my forehead as I began lacing them up.  “I make a point of trying.”

    I rolled my eyes, pecking his lips again before standing and jumping a bit, testing out the shoes.  “Great,” I said, turning back to Tyler.  “Let’s head.”

    My legs moved forward, taking me to the door, but a hand stopped me.  Tyler grabbed my forearm, sliding his hand down to lace our fingers.  He pulled me back to him, holding me to his chest in a tight embrace.  I hugged him back, breathing in his scent.

    “I have something for you,” he mumbled into my hair.  Tyler pulled back, reaching around behind him.  When his hand came back around, my eyes went wide.

    “You’re giving me a gun?” I asked sharply, confused more than anything.  The guys hadn’t wanted me to use a gun if I didn’t have to; I’d never been in a situation I’d needed one before.  Of course I knew how to shoot and how the gun worked, but actually using one for something like this was a foreign concept.

    Tyler nodded.  “I am.”  He pressed it into my hand and looked into my eyes with his dark ones.  “If I’m not around to help you, this will.  I won’t lit you leave here without it.”

    I looked down at the weapon, then slowly reached back to tuck it in the back of the waistband of my jeans.  Nodding, I hugged Tyler again.  His arms slipped around my shoulders gently, and I sighed.

    “I’m not going to get hurt,” I told him.  “It’s not going to happen.  I promise.”

    He smiled and kissed my nose.  “I know.”

 

~~~~~~

 

    A short time later, I was kissing Tyler goodbye as he and Sam took off to get closer.  The door of the land rover closed, leaving Markus at the wheel, me in the passenger’s seat, and Emmett in the middle row of the car.  My hand drifted to the gun tucked uncomfortably in the back of my waistband and my heartbeat fluttered a bit.  I was nervous, but I was excited.  This was the first run dealing with Jason they’d even let me come on.

    Markus cleared his throat, turning his head to me.  “Sam is going to shoot me a message with what he can see, and if it’s clear, you and I are moving around back to where they’re at.  As soon as we head up to the warehouse, I’m going to tell Emmett to bring the car around.  Tyler will stand guard while we gather what we can, and hopefully everything will go great.”

    I took a deep breath, looking out the windshield of the car.  The skyline was dark, almost pitch black.  We were pretty far out of the city or suburbs, but a few businesses were clustered around Jason’s place.  A post office was directly across the street from the Land Rover, closed by this time of night and lit only by a small outside lamp.  Small shops were connected all the way down the block, and a few streets down was a clearing that I knew held Jason’s house and warehouse.

    I watched the clock.  It was a quarter ’til two in the morning, five minutes after we sent out Tyler and Sam.  My foot began to tap, whether from anticipation or nerves, I didn’t know.  Six more minutes passed, and I swore I almost died from the wait.  Then, Markus’ phone finally buzzed.

    “They’re right up behind the warehouse,” he mumbled, reading from the cell.  “Someone’s watching the door, but not doing a great job; there are a few hiding spots along the building, but we’ve still got to be careful since it’s almost right up next to the house.  I’ll let Emmett know we’re close.”

    I nodding, tapping my fingers against the gun again before following Markus and getting out of the Land Rover.  He took of into a light jog and I trailed him, weaving between buildings and avoiding street lamps.  We stayed close to the storefronts, dark clothes blending in.  My feet slowed as Markus’ did, knowing he must’ve spotted Sam and Tyler.

    My eyes found them a few seconds later, huddled behind a delivery truck from a packaging business.  They waved us over, and I followed Markus’ lead again.  My feet barely made a sound on the concrete of the street, then into the grass, then next to Tyler and Sam.  Tyler wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we crouched with them, between to slabs of cement among many protruding from Jason’s warehouse.

    “He’s on the other side,” Sam told Markus, pointing to the right.  “He’s got a gun, but he’s almost asleep.  We have to get the weapon away from him fast.  One shot, and Jason will be out here faster than we can get away.”

    Markus nodded.  “Which side of the wall is he closer to?  Near or far?”

    “Near,” Tyler answered.  “Makes our job a lot easier.”

    Markus and Sam shared a look.  “You two stay back, just in case things get out of hand,” Markus spoke softly.  “Sam and I will take care of this guy.”

    Sam nodded.  They always agreed with each other; my brother was Markus’ right hand man.  And usually I agreed with Sam, whether I wanted to admit it or not.  Tyler’s arm squeezed my shoulders and I looked up at him, nodding.

    And just like that, Markus and Sam were gone without a sound.  I waited anxiously—runs always managed to kick up my adrenaline.  My heart pounded as I heard strangled grunts and sounds of struggle.  I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.  As soon as I heard a body land on the ground with a thud, I nearly leapt from my crouch to move toward the side of the warehouse.

    Markus and Sam came into view, a young kid sprawled out on the ground at their feet.  A handgun was nestled between Sam’s fingers.  I stared at him, my chest squeezing at the sight.  Beside the already forming bruise on his cheek, the weapon seemed to fit his stature.  It was unnerving; even though I had one concealed in my waistband, I wasn’t used to seeing any of us standing over an unconscious body with a gun.

    “What part of ‘stay back’ did you not understand?” Sam hissed at me, tossing the gun to the side in the grass.

    I rolled my eyes as I felt Tyler coming up behind me.  “He’s right, Phoebe.  You’ve never been on one a Jason run.  It’s a whole different deal, and it’s a lot more dangerous.”

    I turned to glare at Tyler.  “Stop babying me and open the door.”

    I ignored all of the boys as Markus ran around to where we’d been to get the bolt cutters he’d dragged along.  When he returned and busted the heavy-duty padlock on the door, my heart rate kicked up.  Sam pulled the door open as Markus tossed the tool to the side.  Inside was only lit by a small fluorescent light, and shadows were cast by the metal door we’d propped open.  I followed the boys into the warehouse, my eyes trailing up and down the walls and floors made of complete linoleum.  It was an odd choice, but the daunting stock in front of us took away from that aspect.

    My eyes caught first a large pile of marijuana, about my height and several feet deep.  I almost gagged at the sight of it, thinking of how much I hated the smell.  Shifting my gaze a bit, I spotted another pile just like it, sitting over in the corner.  The actual room wasn’t too big, for the size of the warehouse frame.  I could see a far wall with a set of doors placed in the middle of the section, about fifty feet away with a chain looped through the handles.  The ceiling was about fifteen feet high, still small for what it’d looked like from the outside.

    “Damn,” Sam breathed beside me.  “So this is where all our pot is going?”

    Markus gestured back to Tyler.  “Go check on Jason’s guy, make sure he doesn’t wake up.”  He turned to me.  “Phoebe, go get the bolt cutters, we’ll need them again.”

    I nodded, following Tyler out the door and into the night.  It was cold, but not biting just yet.  Tyler moved over the boy Markus and Sam had knocked out, lifting his eyelids and examining him as I reached down into the grass for the bolt cutters.

    “He’s out cold,” Tyler mumbled, standing and leaning against the outside wall.  The dim light above us on the overhand flickered, casting shadows on his face.  “They roughed him up pretty good.”

    I nodded.  “That’s what we do best, though, right?”

    He snorted.  “Yeah.  You’re right.”

    I smiled at him, then walked back into the building.  Markus and Sam were at the back of the room, prying at the chain and trying the door hinges.  I strode up to them and lifted the large tool in my hands.

    “Stand back, this thing might snap it,” I warned, placing the mouth on the smallest part of the chain.  They stepped back as I squeezed as hard as I could, and it gave way beneath me.  The small link clattered to the floor and the chain’s ends dropped, dragging the rest of it down too.

    Markus wasted no time throwing the doors open, revealing a pitch black expanse in front of us.  I felt Sam move beside me, hand rubbing against the wall for a light switch.  I did the same, and found one first.  Flipping it on, I squinted into the suddenly bright light.  When my eyes adjusted, Markus and Sam were shuffling through desks placed along a wall about ten feet away.  I moved to one next to Sam, following his lead and opening the first set of drawers.

    Inside was a dark duffel bag, resting in a drawer about a foot deep.  I pulled it out and dropped it onto the surface of the desk.  My fingers fumbled for the zipper running across the top—my adrenaline was pumping like crazy.  It always happened when I was on runs, especially when stakes were higher.  When I finally unzipped the bag, my eyes went wide.

    “Holy shit,” I whispered, forcing my hands into the duffel filled to the brim with stacks of hundred-dollar bills.  “Markus, Sam!  Come look at this.”

    They were at my side within a second, cursing under their breath and patting me on the back.  “Way to go, Little L,” Markus laughed, zipping the bag up again and tossing it over his shoulder.

    “There’s more where that came from,” Sam said to my left.  He was crouched at a lower drawer, holding an unzipped bag of the same contents.  He let out an incredulous laugh, throwing the duffel onto his back.

    I opened the remaining two drawers of the desk, pulling out bags of money and slinging them on my shoulders.  Following Sam, I jogged out of the room and toward the door.

    “Wait,” Markus’ voice stopped us.  He threw an empty duffel bag at both us, the same type as the ones we held.  “Fill up as much weed as you can fit.  With all this money and a little bit of marijuana, we’ll be living great for weeks.”

    I nodded and reached for a bundle of marijuana, setting the bag on the ground to fill it as well as I could.  By the time I’d filled the duffel, it held eight packages.  All of it in one place was sickening, but I knew this was how we survived.

    “Let’s go,” Markus said quickly, leading us to the door leading outside.  “We’re done.”

    I caught up to him quickly, pulling the warehouse door shut after we’d all gone through.  Markus had picked up his pace, sprinting away with Sam hot on his tail.  I glanced over to Tyler, who gave me a reassuring smile and took off with me.  The wind blew over my head, cool against my skin.  My feet patted against the asphalt, no longer having to stay stealthy but still quiet.  The duffel bag bumped uncomfortably against my back, but I endured it down the block.

    Emmett had pulled up to the corner, throwing the Rover’s door open for us and running around to the drivers side to allow us to dive in and go.  I heaved the door shut behind me, forcing myself into the seat between Tyler and the door.  Letting out a long and shaking sigh, I pulled the duffel around to my lap and rested my head on Tyler’s shoulder.  He kissed the top of my head, a reassuring gesture.

    As the Land Rover sped away, Emmett slowly began to laugh.  Markus shook his head, joining in.  Then Tyler, clapping his hand on Sam’s shoulder.

    “Can’t believe we did it,” my brother chuckled, nudging Tyler’s shoulder.  He looked around Tyler to me, patting my knee.  “Welcome to the world, Little L.  You just made it through a Jason McCann run.”

    I smiled widely, not caring about the feeling of the gun in my waistband pressing against my back as I leaned into the seat.  I threw my head back and joined in on the laughter.


	3. ~9.05~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, in addition to profanity, there will be explicit content (including, but not limited to: smut, sexual references, clear depictions of violence, as well as careless use of weapons) in further chapters of this book. If anything is unappealing to you as the reader, feel free to skip over it, as these examples will not be used in the fashion of a chapter in its entirety. Thank you all for reading!

    I woke up with my cheek pressed to Tyler’s shoulder, our legs tangled beneath the comforter.  My shorts had ridden up and my hair was in tangles, splaying out on the pillow behind me.  Tyler’s arm laid across my middle, his fingers dancing across my waist.  I sighed, breathing in his scent.

    “You’re finally awake,” Tyler mumbled.

    I lifted my head.  His eyes were just barely open, staring at the ceiling and breathing deeply.  Patting his bare chest, I leaned up to kiss his jaw.

    “How long have you been up?” I asked.

    His eyes fell shut, leaning his head against mine.  “About an hour.”

    I rolled my eyes as well as I could—I felt exhausted.  “You should’ve gone for something to eat.  What time is it?”  I swiveled to check the nightstand.  The alarm clock read ten after two.  “Damn, we slept a long time.”

    “Correction,” Tyler smiled.  “ _You_  slept a long time.”

    I snorted.  “Fine, smart ass.  You should’ve woken me up.”

    “You’re cute when you sleep,” he commented.  “It’s a nice contrast from your usual aura.”

    I slapped his chest lightly.  “ _Aura_.  Stop using your smart words on me.”

    He shrugged.  “You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for.  If only you’d stuck with school.”  He tsked at me.

    “Whatever,” I brushed him off.  “Haven’t you heard of online classes?”

    “I have,” he answered, squeezing my side.  “And you wouldn’t take them even if you wanted to.”

    I pushed away from him, rolling off the bed and onto my feet.  Tyler’s t-shirt fell to mid-thigh on me, covering most of the loose fitting shorts I had on.  My feet were bare and cold against the floor as I tiptoed over to the drawer filled with my clothes and tugged on a pair of socks.

    “Is it bad that you’re right?” I asked half-heartedly.  To be honest, I didn’t care.  I could live without going to a building where you sat for eight hours of the day and learned absolutely nothing.  ‘Education’ was overrated, even if all I had to do was sit at a computer.

    Tyler laughed.  “Only a little.”

    I pulled on a cardigan, not bothering to match the rest of my ensemble.  It hung a little longer than my shirt, and kept my arms warm.  Turning back to Tyler, I blew him a kiss.

    “I’m getting something to eat,” I said.

    He nodded, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.  I held up a hand, shaking my head.

    “I’ll get you something.”

    He rolled his eyes at me.  “I’m not crippled.”

    “I know,” I answered.  I shrugged.  “Sorry I wanted to be nice.  I was coming right back up anyway.”

    Tyler smiled.  “Fine.  You know what I like.”

    I returned the grin.  “Yes I do.”  My legs carried me to the door.  “I love you,” I told him as I slid out into the hall.  I barely heard his reply through the crack in the doorframe as I made my way to the stairs.

    Peter and Chloe were at the dining room table, Bella sat on her dad’s lap while Chloe slowly fed her food from a jar.  I grimaced at the mossy looking mush, brushing past them and into the kitchen.

    “It lives,” Peter commented in my direction.  I shot him a glare before reaching up into the cupboard above the sink.  “What time did you all get back last night?”

    “This morning,” I corrected him.  Pulling down a box of cereal, I shifted to the next set of cabinets for two bowls.  “We drove around for a little bit, celebrating—one, maybe?  We made bank, you know.  There was enough in three duffels to last us half a year.”  I turned to Peter and Chloe.  “Jason is loaded.”

    Chloe nodded.  “I could’ve told you that.  Half the girls I go to school with talk about him and his gang.  They’ve probably all been with the whole group once or twice.”

    I snorted.  “Has his way with the girls, I take it.”

    I poured cereal into both bowls, then replaced it in the cupboard and shifted to the fridge.  Peter and Chloe broke off into a side conversation as I pulled the milk onto the counter, filling both bowls to the brim.  Tyler always liked extra sugar in his bowl, and marshmallows on top of it.  I had no idea how he’d even figured out putting just regular marshmallows in cereal was good, but he’d done it for as long as I could remember.

    I added his two toppings and turned back to Chloe with a spoon in my hand.  “How long are you and Baby Bella staying?”  I took a bite into my cereal, waiting for her answer.

    “We’re going to wait this one out with grandma,” Chloe mumbled in a high voice, directed at Bella.  She poked Bella’s stomach, making her giggle wildly.  Chloe turned to me.  “I’ll probably head over and see what it’s like around seven, but knowing my mother, we’ll probably be here for the next week.”

    I nodded, smiling widely at Bella.  “And I am okay with that.”

    She giggled and clapped her hands together.  Peter struggled to keep a hold of her as she bounced up and down on his leg, and Chloe rolled her eyes.  She set Bella’s food down on the dining table and grabbed for her daughter, blowing on her stomach.

    “Did Miss Phoebe come down and ruin your lunch time?” she growled playfully.  Bella screamed, making me wince.

    “Sorry Chlo, didn’t mean to,” I apologized, reaching back for mine and Tyler’s bowls of cereal.

    Chloe waved me off.  “It’s fine.  She wasn’t eating well anyway.  I think this little girl is starting to teethe.”

    I tsked.  “Good luck with that, BB.”

    I walked back through the kitchen and dining room, then up the stairs and into Tyler’s room.  He was sprawled out on the bed, shirtless and eyes closed.  My eyes trailed along his muscled torso, smiling to myself.  That boy was mine, and I loved him for it.

    I tiptoed over to the bed, leaning over him to place a kiss in the center of his chest.  I felt him stiffen, surprised by me, and I smiled against his skin.

    “Time to get up,” I mumbled, standing up and looking at his tired face.  He groaned, making me roll his eyes.  “Come on.  Let’s go.”

    Tyler pulled himself up, accepting the bowl of cereal I handed him.  “Thanks, Babe.”

    I blew him a kiss.  “All for you, Love.”

    The corner of his mouth tugged upward and his arm reached out to snag me waist.  I yelped as my feet slipped against the floor, stumbling forward with my bowl gripped tightly in my hand.

    “Careful!” I scolded, frowning at him.  “This is a full bowl.”

    “Boo hoo,” Tyler mocked.  “I can clean my sheets if it spills.  You would get to help.”

    “If it gets on me, I have to shower.”  I pushed away from him, finding a place on the mattress next to him.  His arm looped around my waist and I leaned into him, stirring my spoon in my bowl.

    “I could always help with that, too.”

    I smacked a hand against his chest.  “Stop it,” I laughed.

    “Mmm,” he mumbled into my neck, sending a chill up my spine.  “I think you need a shower.  I can join you.”

    I scoffed at him.  “Thanks, asshole.  I just took one when we got back.  And when I shower, I shower  _alone_.”

    “You’re no fun,” Tyler pouted at me.

    “And I intend to keep it that way.”

    We spent the next twenty minutes eating small bits of cereal at a time, teasing each other back and forth.  Somewhere in the next three hours, our bowls ended up on the floor and we ended up on the bed, my legs curled with Tyler’s and my arms wrapped around his torso.  His lips were pressed against my temple, mumbling short answers as we just talked about everything and about nothing.  Before we knew it, it was ten o’clock and we were both starving.

    “We had a pajama day,” I stated as I lifted myself from the bed, Tyler following after.  I stooped to grab our cereal bowls from earlier, then lead him out the door.

    “We had a comfy day,” he corrected.

    I hummed in agreement, my feet tapping lightly against the stairs as we made our way down.  Peter, Chloe, and Bella were no longer at the table.  The whole main level was empty except for Emmett and Markus in the living room, just off from the kitchen.  I shuffled over toward the sink and set the bowls in, running a little water to rinse them out.

    “What are we having for dinner?” Tyler asked, running his hands from my shoulders down to my hips, squeezing lightly.

    I turned my head to raise my eyebrows at him.  “I don’t know, Ty.  What  _are_  we having?”

    He pulled his expression into a smile.  “Whatever you want, Babe.  I’m all for it.”

    “I want some of whatever’s going on the stove,” Emmett called from the other room.

    I rolled my eyes as Markus chimed in as well, asking me to make various dishes.  Being the only girl in our immediate group, I was also the designated cook whenever we didn’t eat freezer food or order in.

    “Maybe I’ll just give you all food poisoning instead,” I suggested, not entirely kidding.  Tyler let go of me, backing away with his hands in the air.

    “I just wanted some of your delicious food.”

    “You’re such a kiss ass,” I scoffed.  I felt his hand brush against my butt and I swatted it away.  “Not the time.”

    Tyler placed a kiss on my cheek.  “If you don’t want to make something, I’ll go grab some fast food or something.”

    I wrinkled my nose.  “I think I’ll make something.”

    My hands drifted to the cupboard doors, tugging them open to look at what was inside.  A couple packets of seasonings were lined up next to cans of various vegetables I insisted on getting.  I knew there was some raw chicken in the fridge, and my mouth spread into a smile.

    “How does chicken sound?” I turned to Tyler.

    He nodded quickly, stealing a kiss.  “Sounds great.  I’ll be in the other room.”

    I opened my mouth to protest, but he was already gone.  I rolled my eyes and huffed a breath.

    My feet carried me to the other side of the kitchen, where I turned on the oven and pulled a pan out of the drawer beside it.  I then took the meat out of the fridge and spread it out onto the pan, humming to myself as I washed my hands and got out a can of Green Giant corn.  The oven went off a few minutes later, and I slid the pan of chicken in.

    I let out a long breath as I leaned against the counter, wiping my hands on a clean rag.  My eyes drifted closed, breathing in the smell of cooking.  I honestly loved cooking, no matter how much I denied it.  The boys all knew it too, and I knew they took advantage of it for a warm meal a few times a week.

    “Whatever you’ve got going on in there smells great,” Sam’s voice said from the dining room.

    “It’s chicken,” I turned to face him, grinning.  “It’ll be ready in about seven minutes.”

    He snapped his fingers.  “And I’ll be with the guys.”

    Sam brushed past and into the living room, joining in on whatever the others had going on.  They let out long bursts of laughter every so often, but when I peeked in they were just gathered around the coffee table in the middle of the room.  Probably an extremely casual game of poker, seeing as they could all get way too serious over a real one.

    I walked back to the vegetable can I’d pulled out and pulled the top open.  I found a bowl and poured it into that, adding a serving spoon and walking it over to the dining table.  After I’d fixed the chairs a little, I set out plates and forks at each place.  The one thing that had to happen when I cooked was the boys eating at the table.  It just added a nice touch to the meal—a sense of home, kind of.  They’d never objected to it, so it’d stood for the past few years.

    The timer on the oven started to go off and I hurried into the kitchen and pulled out the pan.  I reached into a cupboard for a bag of seasoning, tearing it with my teeth and dusting the chicken.  Using oven mitts as a heat pad, I set the pan in the middle of the dining table and brushed my hands together.

    “Alright, guys,” I called.  “Let’s eat.”

    All four of them filed in, grabbing drinks before sitting in their usual spots—Tyler next to me, Sam across the table and next to Emmett, and Markus at the head.  Tyler set a glass of water in front of me, kissing my cheek before reaching for my hand under the table.

    “This looks great,” Tyler remarked.  Several sounds of agreement came from the others, and my cheeks warmed.

    “Just eat already,” I hurried them.  Another one of my rules was that I always got my food last.  It just felt right to provide for others before myself.  “I’m starving.”

    They all dealt food onto their plates, and we were soon eating quietly.  I felt like a proud mother to see people enjoying my food, and was satisfied when their plates were cleared.

    I started to gather up dishes when the garage door started to open.  We could always hear it throughout the house, so it wasn’t a surprise it was so loud.  I glanced around the dining room before shuffling into the kitchen with a handful of plates.

    “Is that Pete?” My eyebrows pulled together as I counted heads.  “Did he take Chloe home?”

    I was met with several shrugs as the garage door stopped running.  My hand pulled on the faucet knobs, running water over the dirty plates I’d placed in the sink.  I was sorting the silverware from plates when the door in the kitchen leading to the garage burst open, making me jump.

    “Jesus, Pete!” I shouted, turning off the water.  “Calm down with the—“

    My head turned, catching the face of who’d come in the door, and froze instantly.  The fork in my hand dropped as I almost heard the guys behind me tense.  My heart pounded heavily, taking in the sharp jaw and hard set eyes of Jason McCann.

    “Surprise,” he sneered, his hand tight on the gun in his palm.

    Everything happened in a blur.

    Before I knew what was happening, three of Jason’s guys were through the door and spreading out into the room.  All held guns at least twice the size I’d been given last night.  Sam and Tyler were beside me even faster, Tyler’s hand grasping my forearm tightly as he pulled me back toward the dining room.  Emmett and Markus shifted to the front, closest to Jason and his guys.  I recognized one to be the boy Sam and Markus had taken out at the warehouse.

    “What are you doing here?” Markus nearly growled, his fists clenching tightly.

    Jason shifted his weight to his right hip, a casual smile across his face.  “I was just in the neighborhood—thought I’d stop by.”

    “Cut the shit, Jason,” Emmett spat, his whole body shaking as the muscles in his back tightened.

    Jason’s expression hardened and his posture straightened.  “Fine.  You want real?  Here it is.”

    Before I could blink, he raised his arm and pulled the trigger on his gun.  My eyes squeezed shut as drywall dust sprayed everywhere.  I cringed as the gunshot made my ears ring, cowering into Tyler’s side.  He was so tense that it felt like I was leaning against a brick wall.

    “What the  _hell_!” Sam shouted, closest to where the hole had been blown in the wall.

    “You stole my shit,” Jason stated, letting his arm fall.  “And a lot of it.”

    Markus laughed, but it sounded more like a growl.  “As if you’d miss it anyway.  From what we saw, it looked like you’d been stealing our pot for months!”

    “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jason replied with a pensive expression.  “All I have is from my guy.”

    “Your guy must be loaded as hell,” Sam snapped.  “He probably takes it from ours.”

    “I don’t know where he gets it,” he replied, his hand tightening around his gun.  “And I don’t care.  What’s mine is  _mine_.”

    Emmett and Markus exchanged glances.  “You’ve got more than enough,” Emmett said.  “What’s in that warehouse could last you a year  _easy_.”

    Jason’s jaw clenched.  “Yeah, and I want my six-month’s reassurance.”

    Tyler’s arm tugged me back as Jason’s gun started to raise.  I stepped back with him, but only slightly.

    “You need to go upstairs,” he hissed a whisper in my ear.  “ _Now_.”

    I moved slowly, trying not to alarm anyone of my departure.  Tyler slowly released me, my arm cold where his hand had been, hot from being flustered.

    “Put the gun down and let’s settle this the right way,” Markus suggested calmly.

    “You knocked out one of my guys and stole thousands of dollars worth of weed,” Jason snarled, keeping his arm ready to fire.

    My legs slowly moved me back.  I was almost to the stairs.

    “Put down the gun, Jason,” Markus said again. “Then we’ll talk.”

    I could see the resistance in Jason’s expression, but slowly his gun lowered.  His guys relaxed a little as well, but didn’t take both hands off of their weapons.

    “Fine.”

    “Thank you,” Markus spoke up.  “Now what exactly do you want?”

    “What do you think I want?” Jason sneered.

    “Beats me, asshole,” Markus shot back, his fists clenched.  “I can’t exactly read your mind, and I don’t think I’d want to.”  Jason scoffed, shifting his weight.  “Do you want your shit back?”

    Tyler turned his head, his expression almost annoyed to still find me standing on the main level.  He waved his hand, telling me to leave.  I glanced behind me—the stairs were only about a meter away, but I shot Tyler a look.

    “Honestly, I don’t care about any of what you took,” Jason answered Markus.  “It’s the principle—you took what I have, so now I take what you have.”

    Sam turned toward me, his jaw clenching as his eyes caught mine.  His expression told me to leave.  I gave him a look that told him I was on it, and to relax.  Markus seemed to have everything under control.

    “What do you want then?” Markus pressed.  I could tell he was getting anxious; I’d only ever heard of Markus getting overly agitated when Jason had something to do with whatever was going on.  “We’ve got money and we’ve got pot.  Take your pick.”

    Jason shook his head, waving his gun at Markus and Emmett.  They both tensed as the barrel grazed over their forms, making Jason’s mouth twitch upward.  “Neither.”

    "I have nothing else to offer you," Markus barked through gritted teeth, his fists clenched hard at his sides.

    Jason shook his head, chuckling.  "I only want one thing, and it's in this room," he sneered.

    My brother took a step toward me, trying to push me toward the stairs.  Jason's eyes flashed over and caught mine, a glint in his eye while a shiver went down my spine.  My heart began to pound, unsettled by his expression.

    "What do you want?" Markus asked, impatient, seemingly unaware of where Jason’s eyes were.

    Jason's head nodded in my direction.  I froze and the room fell deafeningly silent.

    "I want her."


	4. ~9.05...2~

    The shouting began soon after.

    It was so loud I wanted to cover my ears, everyone yelling at the top of their lungs.  I couldn’t make out a single word.  My body was stiff, confused and horrified.  Jason McCann wanted  _me._

    Sam was suddenly in front of me, eyes wild and hands grasping my shoulders.  “Get upstairs  _now._ ”

    I stood for a minute, eyes wide.  If my brother was so panicked about this, Jason must’ve been serious.  Jason wanted me.  Now that everything had gone to hell, I didn’t have to go quietly anymore.  I turned for the stairs and bolted.

    I remembered three years ago, when I was thirteen and Sam was seventeen.  Jason and Sam are the same age, and Sam had been mentally competing with him for as long as I’d ever known about Jason.  I’d been sitting at the table, joking around with a sixteen-year-old Tyler.  I’d punched him playfully in the shoulder when Sam walked in, mad as I’d ever seen him before.  He’d been out on a run, and I know now that Jason had been giving them trouble for a long time, and Sam had finally blown.  Sam had glared and thrown a few words at Tyler and I, and I’d gotten defensive.  My brother had called me crude names, then stormed upstairs, all the while hissing under his breath, “You get whatever you want, just like Jason.  Jason gets whatever the hell he wants.”

     _Jason gets whatever he wants._

    My foot landed on the second stair as a gunshot rang out.  Everything went silent except for a cry of pain, so loud it made my teeth rattle.  I recognized the voice–it was Emmett.  I felt frozen, but thawed enough to turn back.  My chest squeezed as my eyes fell to him, writhing on the floor with his leg held out from his body.  Blood was already gathering on the floor beneath his calf, and my stomach lurched.

    Nothing happened for a second, but it felt so much longer than that.  Emmett’s jaw was clenched so tight I thought all of his teeth might break inside of his mouth.  He wasn’t making noise anymore, but I could tell by the look on his face that he was in way too much pain.

    All at once, Markus, Tyler, and Sam all moved for Emmett.  But before any of them could get a hand on him, Jason and his guys all raised their guns.  Each barrel was trained on all three of the boys as they dropped to the floor, and my chest clenched tighter.  No, they couldn’t shoot them.  They couldn’t.

    “Get back,” Jason growled.  My gaze landed on him, his lips curled back in an ugly snarl.  “He’ll live until I get what I want.”

    “You  _shot_  me, you prick!” Emmett forced out of his mouth.  He sounded strangled, holding back emotion.

    “And I’ll gladly do it again,” Jason snapped back.  He glanced over at me, and whatever part of me that wasn’t frozen yet went solid.  “Climb back down the stairs, and lets go, Sweetheart.”

    “No!” both Tyler and Sam shouted at the same time.  They shared a glance, and Tyler was the next to speak.  “You’ll get nothing from us.  Fuck off.  Go home.”

    “We’re going to be here a long time, then,” Jason commented nonchalantly, shifting his weight but keeping his gun trained on Tyler.  “Your friend is going to bleed out in a while, but I could make his pain easier.”

    I felt the blood drain from my face as I realized that Jason was right—there was already too much blood around Emmett.  I couldn’t let Emmett bleed out.  Jason was here because he wanted me.

    “You’re a bastard,” Markus spat at him.

    Jason hardly reacted.  “I’m not the one who’s going to kill him.  You’ll be the ones who let him die by dragging this out.  All I need is Phoebe, and I’ll leave.”

    “Don’t,” Emmett said through clenched teeth.  “I’ll make it.  I’m fine.”

    I knew he wasn’t.  He was already turning pale, and his jeans were soaked up to the thigh in his blood.  My fists were clenched at my sides, eyes shifting from the huddle of my boys on the kitchen floor to the four intruders with their guns raised.  If I didn’t go with Jason, Emmett would bleed out and Jason would probably kill everyone else in this room.  Any way you tried to put it, I’d either be dead or leaving with Jason.

    I heard the click of a loading gun and my heart nearly stopped.  It was Jason’s, pointed right at Tyler.  Tyler was next to be shot.  I couldn’t let that happen.  The four boys on the kitchen floor meant more to me than I meant to myself.  I had to go with Jason.

    In the blink of an eye, I saw a change in Jason’s expression—he was going to shoot, and we all knew it.  I couldn’t think, but now I could move again.

    “Stop!” I shouted.  My feet brought me into the kitchen at a sprint, planting myself in front of Tyler.  He reached out to me but I swatted his hand away.  “Don’t you  _dare_ hurt one of them, you son of a bitch!”

    Jason laughed tightly.  “Big words for such a little girl like yourself.”

    “I am  _not_  a little girl,” I spat at him.  “I’m a bigger person than you’ll ever be.”

    He looked taken aback at my blatant insolence, and I almost smiled.  If he thought I’d be an easy grab, he was dead wrong.  But I felt incredibly vulnerable, standing in front of his gun with nothing to defend myself with.  Hell, I didn’t even have  _shoes_  on.

    “Fine,” Jason said.  He kept his gun straight ahead, pointed at me.  “If you want to be a big girl and stand up for your gang, then I can play along.  You come with me, and no one gets shot anymore.”

    My jaw tightened.  I glanced back at Tyler, who was shaking his head wildly.  My chest squeezed as I glanced from him to Sam, then back to Tyler.  If I didn’t leave, both my brother and my boyfriend would die.  It wasn’t even a choice.

    “I’ll go,” I said.

    “Like hell you will!” Tyler growled.  I felt him stand behind me, and saw Jason’s hand tighten around his weapon.

    I spun and shoved Tyler back, causing him to stumble over Sam’s leg and land on his side next to Markus.  The look on his face was like a punch in the gut, and I turned back to Jason to avoid it.

    “Phoebe,” Markus spoke up.  “He’s just throwing a tantrum.  He’ll get bored after a while.  Tell him no, and Jason will leave.”

    Jason snorted, and I winced.  “This isn’t a tantrum,” he sneered.  “I mean business.  You take my stuff, I take something of equal value.  An eye for an eye, Markus.”

    “I’m surprised you’re not blind yet,” Emmett struggled between heavy breaths.  My chest constricted tighter at the sound of his voice.  I had to do this quick, or he would pass out—and with how much blood he’s lost already, I wasn’t sure if he was going to wake up.

    “All of you, shut the hell up,” I hissed.  “I’m going.”

    I looked Jason dead in the eye and ignored the shiver that was building up in my spine.  “Get your tools out of the way so Emmett can go to the hospital.”  He narrowed his eyes at me for a fraction of a second, assessing if I meant to go with him.  Then Jason waved them off, away from the garage door.  I glanced over my shoulder.  “Tyler, get Emmett to the ER.”

    He stood slowly, eyes flitting from me to Jason.  His hand reached down and hooked under Emmett’s shoulder, and he hoisted him up without a problem.  Emmett was breathing hard and still bleeding, bleeding too much.  As Tyler slung Emmett’s arm around his shoulders, I saw his mouth move only slightly in Emmett’s ear.  A small grunt came from his throat.  I knew then that Tyler was going to pull something.  My jaw clenched.  I couldn’t let him—Jason would kill him before he got close.

    Tyler began leading a limping Emmett toward the garage door.  I looked back at Markus and Sam, who were still on the floor.  Jason’s guys still had guns on them, so I knew they wouldn’t move.  My head swiveled just in time to catch a twitch in Tyler’s arm—it happened whenever he was prepared to fight.  My legs moved before I even had time to think as Emmett dropped to the floor next to Tyler, and Tyler lunged.

    I shouted at the top of my lungs as my fist collided with Tyler’s jaw.  He misstepped and I took that as my opportunity to kick out his left leg.  His weight dropped to the floor to the side of Emmett, who tried to brace his fall with a stiff arm.

    “What the  _hell_?” Tyler snarled at me, the look of hurt in his eyes pounding against my chest.

    Jason and his guys snickered behind me, and my anger burned hotter.  “He’ll kill you, Tyler,” I stated blatantly.  “A gun beats you every time.”  My fists clenched.  My nails dug hard into my palms, almost breaking the skin.  “Get Emmett to the hospital, and figure things out from there.”

    The look of disgust on Tyler’s face hurt, deeper than he might have meant it to.  He’d cool down and hear what I was saying later.  A bruise from me was better than a gunshot wound from Jason any day.

    Emmett let out a grunt of pain.  My gaze flashed to him as his eyes rolled back and his head fell back to the floor.

    “Take him  _now_ ,” Markus shouted to Tyler.

    Glares exchanged between the two before Tyler lifted Emmett.  He didn’t even look at me as he staggered out the garage door.  The room was silent until after we heard the Land Rover start and pull out.

    I was the first to say anything.  “I’m getting my shit together, and then I’ll leave.”

    “Phoebe,” Sam started, but I cut him off with a look.

    “Don’t try anything, Sam,” I ordered.

    And with that, I brushed past him and stomped up the stairs.  My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would burst out of my chest.  I was leaving with Jason McCann, a known killer and an unforgiving asshole.  He was dangerous—I was risking my life for the boys I loved.  I didn’t care if they hated me after this, though.  As long as they were alive, my conscience was clear.

    I threw open the door to Tyler’s room and immediately made for the dresser.  I always kept a pad of paper and a pen over there, for a reason that I didn’t know.  My hand tore off the top sheet and I scribbled a short note on it.  
  


    I’ll figure something out.

            -Phoebe  
  


    I left the pen on the dresser and placed the note on his pillow, running my hand over the sheets we’d woken up in this morning.  My hand trembled, a combination of exhaustion and adrenaline.  It didn’t make any sense, but then again nothing in the past ten minutes had really fit together right either.  Why did Jason want  _me_?  Anything he wanted, he could have.  It made my head spin.

    My reflection in the mirror across the room caught my eye, and I sighed heavily.  I was in the same clothes I’d been in all day—Tyler’s shirt and the cardigan, with shorts on underneath and mismatched socks.  My hair was a mess, hanging down in tangles.  I quickly changed out for skinny jeans and a leather jacket, then brushed out my hair and threw it into a bun.  I left the socks.

    I pulled out a duffel bag from under the bed, then grabbed my combat boots lying next to them.  I pulled them on, then filled my bag with clothes, enough for a week.  I’d have something figured out by then, right?  Of course I would.  Either that, or Tyler would tear Jason’s place apart brick by brick.

    The gun Tyler had given me caught my eye, poking out of the top drawer of the dresser.  My chest tightened and I reached for it.  I made sure the safety was on, then slid it in between a jumble of clothes in my duffel.  I had to be careful.

    I heard the door slam open and turned to find Sam standing in the doorway.  His eyes were burning with rage as I zipped up my duffel, then turned toward him.  I felt myself brace for his raised voice.

    “What in the  _hell_  are you thinking, Phoebe?” he hissed, quieter than I was expecting.

    “I’m trying to save all of your asses,” I answered, less forceful than I meant it.

    “We were going to handle it,” Sam snapped.  “Until  _your_  fear gave in!”

    “Kiss my ass, Sam!” I retorted.  “Jason had a gun on every single one of you, and the only reason he didn’t pull the trigger on Tyler was because I got in the way.  Don’t you  _dare_ tell me that I didn’t save your lives.”

    “I can’t believe you’re giving in to that son of a bitch!  You’re better than this, Little L.”  I heard the desperation in his voice.  Even though I knew he wasn’t going to admit it, I knew he was scared for me.

    I shook my head, slinging the duffel over my shoulder.  “If I don’t go, you’re all as good as dead.”  I paused as my feet carried me to the door.  I slid past Sam and stopped in the hallway.  “Tell Peter I said ‘bye’, wherever the hell he is.”

    I started to turn, but Sam’s hand caught my forearm.  Before I let out a noise of protest, he pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me.  I was tense for a moment.  We hadn’t hugged in what felt like forever, and I almost forgot that siblings should actually show that they care more about you than the average person.  I relaxed and leaned into him.

    “I don’t want you to get hurt,” he admitted, resting his chin on the top of my head.  “Jason is tough, but he’s an idiot.  The second he lays a hand on you, I give you permission to kill everyone in that house.”

    I laughed dryly, and the pain in my chest almost brought tears into my eyes.  I blinked hard, making sure they didn’t get far.  “Don’t worry.  I will.”

    Sam pulled back, studying my face.  “I just can’t believe he’s bullying us into this.”  He cursed under his breath.  “He’s getting to us because we don’t like using guns.  This is ridiculous.”

    I gave him a wry smile, stepping back toward the stairs and closer to the asshole that wanted to take me from my home.  “Jason gets whatever the hell he wants, right?”

    Sam’s fists clenched at his sides.  His eyes shut tightly, then opened again.  The same hate he’d always had for Jason was back.

    “Just don’t let him kill you, okay?”

    I took a deep breath.  “Okay.”


	5. ~9.06~

I don't remember anything after I got in Jason's truck.  One of his guys must've knocked me out, because when I woke in what I thought was the morning - I couldn't tell, because I was surrounded by darkness - my head throbbed with a dull ache.  I was lying face up with my hands under the small of my back, my fingers tingling with the lack of circulation.  I tried to move my arms but figured out quickly that they were bound together with a zip tie.  
  
My face contorted into a grimace as the sharp plastic dug into my wrists.  I stopped struggling against it and rolled over, sitting up and trying to get a feel for my surroundings.  I was in the basement, I knew that for sure.  The room wasn't heated and the concrete was only warm where I'd been laying for the night.  Goosebumps were already raised on my skin, and I pulled my knees to my chest to conserve heat.  
  
My eyes were beginning to adjust to the darkness, and I could just make out a tool bench across the room.   _Idiots_.  I knew how to get out of a situation like this. Sam and Tyler had made sure of it.  
  
I pushed myself into a standing position and scanned the ground where I was stepping before making it to the bench.  I felt the corners of my mouth tug up in amusement at the kind of stupidity shown just in this room.  Was Jason really this dumb?  He couldn't be; hadn't he taken over most of the upper cities?  But he wasn't one for negotiation.  His motto was shoot first, ask questions later.  
  
Nevertheless, I turned so my back was facing the bench and snagged a knife.  I cut the tie quickly, rubbing my wrists as the plastic fell away.  I still gripped the knife, slowly making my way toward the stairs I'd just spotted.  My eyes always adjusted quickly to the dark.  The stairs were old, obviously used a lot.  I wondered what he did down here when a deal didn't go his way.  
  
 I stepped up carefully, thankful when they didn't creak under my feet.  No matter how horrible Jason was, I knew he took good care of what he had. How else would he remain at the top?  
  
I reached the top and held my breath, waiting to hear voices.  When I heard none, I proceeded to see what I had to work with.  The door in front of me was heavy and metal, and would make noise if I so much as tapped it.  The handle was spherical, easy to break open but with a heavy lock system.  I cursed under my breath.  There were so many 'ifs' in this situation.  What if Jason had a guy waiting for me?  What if I tripped some system Jason had set up?  What if I got out of the basement, but couldn't get out of the house?  
  
I sat down on the second step down and pictured Sam in this situation.  He'd have gotten out of his bindings right away like I had, and looked around the basement for a way to get out.  I'd found this door, but I hadn't checked for windows yet.  But when I scanned the room again from the stairs, I saw none.  Sam would've assessed the door and the lock and listened for people outside.  I was at that point.  Sam and I were different, though.  As much as I hated to admit it, I didn't have the physical strength that my brother did.  I couldn't bust my way out of here and hope to make a break for it.  I'd be stopped in less than two minutes.  My only other options were to pretend like I never woke up, or hide if they come down and jump them.  
  
I was moving to step down the stairs when I heard a voice coming from behind the door.  My insides froze and I listened carefully, trying to judge how close it was to the door.  The voice spoke again, one of Jason's guys, in a different room.  It sounded about twenty feet away.  
  
"She's still out," the voice said plainly.  "I checked ten minutes ago, Leo.  You put a hell of a lot of chloroform on that rag."  
  
"I thought she'd put up more of a fight," another voice answered casually.  My teeth ground together.  They'd  _drugged_ me?  
  
"If you're so worried about her, then why don't  _you_  go and see how she is?"  
  
"Fine," was all Leo answered.  I heard a chair scrape against wood flooring, and footsteps moving toward me.  
  
My heart jumped and so did I, from the sixth stair up and landed as softly as I could.  My eyes searched the room quickly.  I didn't know what to look for.   _Hide or pretend?  Hide or pretend?  Hide or pretend?_  
  
I was out of time.  The lock at the door was fumbling, and I panicked.  I dove across the room to grab the plastic that'd been around my wrists and held it, along with the knife, behind my back as I slid back over to where I'd been lying.  My eyes closed and I waited.  
  
Not half a second later did I hear the door swing open and feel a window of light land against my face.  My jaw clenched as I tried to remain motionless, becoming aware that I'd jabbed the handle of the knife into my back.  It ached and it took all I had in me not to move.  
  
"Shit, man, she's still out," Leo shouted to the guy in the other room.  "Do you think we should get Lucas to check her out?"  
  
"Nah, she should come around in a little while," came a muted reply.  
  
Then I did something too risky, even for me.  
  
I opened my eyes slightly, just to get a quick look to size Leo up.  But when I found him with my eyes, he was already watching me with a confused expression.  I shut them just as they had been, my heart pounding harder than it had been.  I cursed at myself such a stupid move.  Sam would've had my head.  
  
"Get back in here, it's your move," I heard the other voice call.  I could only hope that Leo would answer it.  
  
"Hold on, Xander," Leo said.  
  
My toes curled in my boots.   _Shit.  I've got to stay calm.  It'll be fine_.  
  
Leo's footsteps were slow and heavy on the stairs, each footfall making me more anxious.  Then his shoes landed on cement, growing closer.  He slowed as he walked toward me, cautious with good reason.  Most people knew me as the ruthless decoy.  I was the distraction while Marcus and Sam went about whatever they were doing.  I was good at it too, when I wasn't pretending to be unconscious.   
  
He stopped three feet away.  I could tell he was watching my face, or anything else for movement.  I breathed out slowly, suddenly remembering that unconscious didn't mean dead.  
  
Leo's closeness was making me too uncomfortable.  He knew I was awake, and there was no mistake in that.  He'd seen me.  I was faced with a choice; to go after him, or to wait for it to play out.  I was done walking into dangerous situations.  It was time to make my own.  
  
I shot up in a flash, grabbing Leo around the neck and slipping behind him.  My hand moved the knife to his throat and he let out a strangled noise.  I pushed the blade against his Adam's apple, but not hard enough to cut him.  
  
"What the he—"  
  
"Make a sound and I'll kill you," I hissed under my breath.  
  
"Leo, come on!  I'm not gonna wait all night for you," came Xander's voice.  
  
"You're going to tell him you'll be right up, and that you're going to take a leak," I whispered harshly into Leo's ear.  "Then you're going to take me outside, and that's the last you'll ever see me."  
  
"I'm gonna take a piss," Leo shouted up.  Xander groaned and I pressed the blade tighter to his throat.  
  
I moved him easily, carrying the leverage in this situation.  We walked slowly toward the stairs.  Leo was stepping onto the first step when a voice made me jump.  I clenched my jaw so tight I thought all my teeth would break.  My eyes raised to who was standing at the top of the stairs.  
  
"Look who's woken up.  Jesus, took you long enough Little L."  
  
It was Jason.


	6. ~9.07~

        I stayed up for a long time after Jason closed the door.  Pacing relentlessly, I learned every corner of the basement before half an hour had ticked by.  But apparently, being knocked out by chloroform did nothing for me when it came to actual rest.  I'd been unconscious, not sleeping, and just after what I guessed was two, I finally ceased pacing and curled up on the cold floor.  
  
  
  
  
  
        It didn't seem long before I was waking up again, roused by stomping two levels above me.  It was almost annoying how well sound carried throughout Jason's place—it was going to make getting away with things a lot harder.  I shoved myself up, suppressing the groan that leaped into my throat when I strained against a knot in my neck.  
  
        "About time you got in," I heard Jason's voice growl upstairs.  "You've been gone since before we picked up Lastings down there."  
  
        "I owed some people some money," whoever Jason was talking to replied.  I didn't recognize his voice, but it was deep and annoyed.  
  
        "Who the hell are you in debt to?"  Jason's voice took on a harsh tone.  "I told you to stay away from borrowing money."  
  
        "I don't owe anyone jack anymore.  Jackie was in trouble and I needed to help her out.  Get off my case."  
  
        Jason dropped his voice to a volume I couldn't hear, and I sat up straighter to stretch out my back.  It was dark, but a string of light came from the door upstairs and hit the opposite wall.  That was all I had to see by.  Slowly, I raised myself to stand at the foot of the stairs.  My eyes were adjusting quickly, and I made out everything I'd seen in the basement the day before.  It was a really bad place to hold someone hostage, if they turned out to be smart.  There were a lot of things that could hurt someone down here.  
  
        I began climbing the stairs, not bothering to be quiet.  I knew the lock on the door was still in place, Jason wasn't that stupid.  As I reached the top stair, I sunk down and sat across it, waiting.  After a few minutes I felt my stomach growl loudly and groaned.  I didn't want to eat anything here, but I would starve if I didn't.  For a second it seemed like a good alternative to staying here, but I remembered my promise to Sam.  I had no intention of not making it out of here alive.  
  
        Jason's voice rose again, reminding me that he was just upstairs, but I still couldn't make out his words.  My foot tapped against the wall opposite the one I was leaning on, and I noticed I still had my combat boots on from probably two days before—along with the same set of clothes.  I realized too that my feet were faintly aching.  
  
        "Leo, go get Lastings," Jason's voice ordered from the upper level.  "And don't get knocked out this time."  
  
        I snorted, along with several other snickers from the upper level.  My arms crossed over my chest as I heard Leo's grunt and footsteps down the stairs.  The lock fumbled on the handle and I waited, not willing to try anything.  It wasn't worth it at this point, not yet.  The door opened a few seconds later, and Leo's head appeared.  
  
        "What the—" he hissed, seeing me and jumping back a little.  He obviously hadn't expected me to be at the door, or even awake.  
  
        I smiled slyly and stood.  "We've got to stop meeting like this," I told him.  "You're too jumpy."  
  
        "Screw off," he muttered, stepping back to make room for me to enter the hall.  
  
        "I'd leave you alone if I weren't stuck here," I snapped, rolling my eyes and striding to the stairs leading up.  
  
        When I got upstairs, I saw Jason and three of his guys surrounding the dining table, and Xander sitting on a stool by the island.  Leo entered the room behind me, knocking into me with his shoulder as he walked by.  I muttered an insult at him as I took in all of them.  There were six guys, way too many for me to take on, and very well built.  Aside from one, Grant Conn—I knew him as one of Emmett's old friends—who was very lanky, they all looked like they took regular trips to the gym.  I debated whether I'd be able to even take on two of them at a time.  
  
        "So this is Little L," one of them said, and I noticed this voice belonged to who Jason had been arguing with earlier.  He wasn't one of the guys who'd gone with Jason to my place, but even without him trespassing I knew I wouldn't like him.  The hair on his head was blond but his eyebrows were as dark as they could be, a sign that he bleached his hair.  Real tough kid Jason picked up.  "She really gave Leo all that trouble?"  
  
        "I'd throw two grand on it that I could hand your ass to you," I told him, shifting my weight and crossing my arms over my chest.  "Any prick that bleaches his hair is bound to have more than a few weak spots."  
  
        Leo looked satisfied with my remark, snickering with two of the other guys next to the blond.  Like Jason had been, this guy looked really taken aback by the blatant disrespect I could have toward people.  The fact of the matter was that I really wasn't just talk.  Markus and Sam had made sure I was trained well in fighting, with all the stuff they got into and the fact that guns weren't popular with us.  I'd even knocked Markus clean out more than a handful of times.  
  
        "That's pretty big talk for someone with the nickname 'Little L'," he said, trying to have a last word in it.  
  
        I rolled my eyes.  "Hasn't anyone given you the nickname 'Blondie' yet?  You think of comebacks slower than one."  
  
        I didn't wait for his reply this time.  I brushed past the table and into the kitchen and began browsing their cupboards and fridge.  Hungry wasn't something I liked being, especially when I was at Jason McCann's place.  It was distracting, more than anything.  
  
        "What is she doing?" I heard Xander ask, not quietly enough.  
  
        "Jason offered me food.  I'm taking him up on it."  
  
        There wasn't much noise as I moved things around in the fridge, searching for breakfast foods.  I spotted a carton of eggs and pulled them out, along with a jug of milk.  My eyes searched for a stove, and found one right across the island from where I stood.  I moved the eggs and milk over to it, ignoring the open stares I was receiving and bending down to find a pan in a cabinet to the side of the stove.  My hand closed around the handle of a small one, about the size of a dinner plate, and brought it to rest on the burner closest to the edge.  
  
        I paused after turning the stove on, crossing my arms again and glancing over at the guys.  Xander was shooting glares at me, but the rest of them had gone back to whatever they were doing before I entered the room.  Two guys—Blondie and Grant—sat at the table were huddled around a deck of cards, holding their own cards and sliding their cards toward a lone deck, a few dollars in the middle.  I was the same game I'd seen Xander and Leo play last night.  The other two at the table—Jason and one of the guys who'd been at my place—were watching carefully.  Leo had slunk into the other room and flounced on a bean bag.  
  
        I turned and cracked two eggs on the edge of the pan, tossing the egg shells in the sink a few feet from the stove.  I reached for the jug of milk and splashed a little onto the eggs.  Sam and I had been putting milk in scrambled eggs for years, because it made them smoother.  I turned and searched for a fork in the drawers around the kitchen, and guessed right on the second try.  
  
        Making breakfast was quick, and I leaned back against the counter with a bowl I'd found in a cabinet to the right of where I stood and ate what I'd made.  As I took a bite I glanced at a clock I'd just spotted on the wall.  It was just past noon.  I was a little surprised that I could have slept so long on the concrete floor, but that explained the knot I'd felt in my neck.  
  
        I finished the eggs and put my bowl in the sink just in time for Jason to stand up.  
  
        "Grayson wanted to meet at two in Fallbrook about a deal," he said.  "Carter, Grant, Lucas; that's your job.  I don't want to deal with him today."  The three boys all grunted, their universal sign of recognition.  "Considering it's over an hour away, you should leave soon."  
  
        "As soon as we finish," Blondie said.  His name must've been Lucas, but my name for him fit better.  "Almost done."  
  
        I saw him and Grant begin to go through their cards, obviously counting them out.  Blondie grimaced.  
  
        "One-Thirty-four," he said.  
  
        Grant gave a triumphant smile and slapped his pile on the table.  "One-forty-eight."  
  
        Blondie cursed and shoved the money between them toward Grant.  He stood up from the table and stomped downstairs.  I heard the beep of the garage door and the sound of it slamming behind him.  I watched Grant gather the scattered cards and stack them in a pile, then pocket the money left on the table.  Jason watched as Carter and Grant left the room,  then walked around the table and into the kitchen.  I remembered I needed to change, and turned toward him.  
  
        "Where's my duffel?" I asked flatly.  "I need it."  
  
        "In my room," Jason replied casually, digging in the fridge and pulling out an energy drink.  
  
        Realizing I'd be getting no further words from him, I rolled my eyes and pushed off the counter.  I made my way out of the kitchen, through the makeshift living room, and up to Jason's room.  Pausing outside the door to make sure he wasn't following me, I looked closer into the room I'd only seen in the dark.  It looked a little less intimidating, but still had several dark decorations that brought the shade of the room down.  I entered, and noticed a bathroom around a corner to the right.  I wrinkled my nose.  I could've used a shower too, but I felt uncomfortable risking it in Jason's room, given how he'd cornered me the previous day.  Sighing, I peeked in at the doorknob and saw a lock, and felt a little better.  
  
        I looked around for my duffel and spotted it next to his bed.  I grabbed it and carried it into the bathroom with me, then shut the door and locked it.  It was a pretty big bathroom, a large sink next to a toilet and a shower with clear doors all along the furthest wall.  A deep breath filled my lungs and I released it.  Being at Jason's place was a lot more intimidating than I let any of them believe.  I was incredibly uncomfortable with the fact that they kept guns on the main floor—and very upset with knowing that they wouldn't leave me alone to get ahold of one—along with six guys very capable of operating the weapons.  
  
        I froze.  
  
         _Gun._  
  
        My attention turned to my duffel immediately, on the floor next to the sink.  I all but dove for it, fumbling with the zipper and almost screaming when it didn't open smoothly.  If I was right, this could be my one chance to actually get out of this place.  Wrenching the bag open, I dug frantically around for the gun Tyler had given me.  But I didn't feel anything.  I even turned the bag upside down, but still could not find any sign of the gun.  
  
        I fell against the wall, breathing hard and incredibly frustrated.  Of course they would've searched my bag, they weren't all dumb.  I kicked the duffel out of frustration, pressing my palms to my temples.  Every curse I knew, I threw at Jason under my breath.  This whole situation was just ridiculous, a result of Jason's tantrum.  Why the hell would he ask for me, other than to annoy the living hell out of everyone I cared about.  
  
        I sighed forcefully and pulled myself to stand, then gathered my strewn clothes and kicked off my combat boots.  After double checking the door was locked I started the shower and pulled my clothes off.  I had to use whatever soaps Jason had, realizing I hadn't brought my own.  My nose wrinkled at the boyish scent.  Great.  I smelled like him now.  
  
        I made sure I was done within seven minutes, then dried off with a towel I found in the cabinet under the sink.  I then pulled out a set of clothes from my duffel—dark blue jeans and a plain yellow tee—and put them on, then threw my wet hair into a high bun.  Quickly, I brushed my teeth and exited Jason's bathroom two minutes later, after preparing myself to go back down.  
  
        There wasn't a point in taking my bag with me; I didn't have a bathroom in the basement, nor did I want to change in the basement.  I tossed it where it had been, beside Jason's bed.  I left my boots too.  I wasn't too particularly concerned with going barefoot in Jason's place.  
  
        My feet padded through the hallway and down the stairs, finding the guys in almost the same position they'd been in before.  Leo was still sprawled out on a bean bag and Jason was still at the table, and Xander had gone to join him.  They had the deck of cards now, and about two hundred dollars was sitting between three hands of cards.  It was the same game I'd seen played three times now, a gambling game from the looks of it.  I was curious to see what kind of things they'd invented here, because Markus and Emmett had made up their fair share of card games.  Each one had a different spin on it, and were fun to play.  And depending on how Jason's game went, I could use gambling to my advantage.  I took a seat at the table, a place between me and either of the guys.  For a minute I studied them, and picked up a few of the moves they were making.  
  
        It looked a lot like War between three hands, except for the fact that one didn't have a person behind it.  Jason and Xander flipped their cards and either one of them flipped the first card off of the third deck, then all three cards went to the highest number and were set aside.  Each of the hands got smaller, and they finally laid down their last card.  Jason put down a Queen, Xander put down a nine, and the third was a King.  
  
        "Damn," Xander said under his breath.  "That's a lot of cards to the Ghost."  
  
        I assumed that's what they called the third deck, since Xander had called it that before as well.  They gathered together the cards they'd earned and turned them over, and by the way they were looking through them and mouthing numbers, I could tell they were counting.  A smirk came on Xander's face and he put down his hand.  Jason looked up a few seconds later.  
  
        "One-fifty-two," Jason stated, laying his cards down.  
  
        "One-sixty-six," Xander said triumphantly, scooping the money between them into his hands.  
  
        I watched Jason shrug, unaffected by the loss, unlike the other guys had been.  He dug around in his back pocket and pulled out a cell phone and began to type on it.  My temper flared when I remembered he still had my phone, but I managed to cool myself down before I said anything.  This game could win me my phone back.  Then my gun crossed my mind, and I became especially motivated.  As long as Jason let me play, I could use this to my advantage.  And from the looks of it, this game was a game of chance—meaning I had a 50/50 chance of getting what I wanted.  
  
        "I'll play," I spoke up.  I crossed my arms over my chest, watching Jason for a reaction.  
  
        "You're with us two days and you already want to start gambling," Jason scoffed, not looking up from his phone.  He didn't seem particularly affected by my statement.  "You don't know how to play, and I'm not teaching you."  
  
        "I just learned," I said, grinding my teeth.  "It's not hard.  Wouldn't have taken a genius to think up."  
  
        This got his attention.  He lifted his eyes to mine and I suppressed the uncomfortable feeling that climbed up my spine.  His eyes were filled with so much spite and hatred, probably more than I'd ever seen from any one person.  
  
        "Alright, Little L," he said simply.  "Let's see how easy you catch on."  
  
        I stood and walked around the table to a seat on the edge, right between Jason and Xander.  My glare was trained on him as he gathered all the cards and began shuffling them.  I watched as he separated them into three hands and picked up his own deck when he was done.  Jason began sorting the cards, but I couldn't see how.  I looked down at my own and noticed I had plenty of face cards.  This was a boost to my confidence, knowing that the Ghost didn't have many, and neither did Jason.  I scattered them throughout my hand, betting on the fact that most of the game was chance.  My eyes drifted upward when I was done.  
  
        Jason was sitting, waiting for me to finish.  He was watching me carefully, and I returned his stare.  His fingers drummed on the table and he laid his cards face down.  
  
        "What do you want?"  
  
        I realized he was telling me to place my bet, and I thought it over.  I wanted my gun most, but my phone would work just fine.  I could tell Sam and Tyler how the place worked.  
  
        "My phone," I said.  He narrowed his eyes at me, studying my face.  I could tell he was debating whether or not to take it.  He knew too that it was almost totally chance, but I also knew he wouldn't want to risk anything that would give me the upper hand in his house.  
  
        "Fine," he finally said.  "What are you going to give up if you lose?"  
  
        "Name it," I replied.  
  
        Jason paused, thinking.  A smile glanced his features.  "A night up in my room."  
  
        My eyes narrowed and my temper burned hot.  Who did he think he was?  Who did he think  _I_ was?  But I clenched my teeth and said, "Fine."  
  
        And we began to play.  
  
        The first card I placed down was an Ace, Jason's was a four, and the Ghost's was a six.  I pushed all three cards to the side, unfazed.  The next I had an eight, Jason had a three, and the Ghost had another six.  I was a pretty optimistic when my next card was a King, because if it kept taking cards away from the Ghost and Jason, I'd have plenty enough at the end.  Jason took the next round of cards with an Ace, but I'd only lost a two.  I chanced a look at his face before laying down my next card, but he was staring intently at the table.  There was no sign of emotion from him, and I kept my face straight as well.  
  
        Several rounds later, Jason had gained a few face cards and several other numbers, but I felt confident in the stack in my hand.  We laid down our last cards and Jason won the hand, only a nine, ten, and his king.  I began to count, assuming Jacks were eleven, Queens were twelve, Kings were thirteen, and Aces were fourteen.  I ended up with one-ninety-two.  
  
        I looked up, finding Jason watching me.  "Well?" I asked.  
  
        "One-seventy-three," he said flatly.  
  
        My lips pulled into the biggest smirk I'd ever given anyone.  I'd just beaten Jason's McCann at his own game.  "One-ninety-two," I said triumphantly.  I set the cards in my hand back on the table and said very matter-of-factly, "I'll take my phone."  
  
        Jason's lip pulled up in a way that made me think he was going to snarl, but he was quiet as he pulled my phone out of his pocket.  I grabbed it from him quickly, thankful that I'd put a lock on it, or he could've gone through all of my things.  
  
        "You're lucky I play bets fairly," he said.  "Anyone else, and I guarantee that wouldn't be yours."  
  
        I rolled my eyes.  A small part of me hadn't thought he would hand it over, I admit, but the chance that he would was too big to risk not taking it.  I wouldn't spend a single night up in his room, but I would've rather done that than not tried.  Which is why I wanted to try again, this time to get my way out.  If I lost, I'd still have my phone.  It was a game of chance, and I'd already won once.  
  
        I pocketed my phone and met his eyes.  "Again," I told him.  
  
        He snorted.  "I'm done gambling," he said, and stood from his chair.  
  
        My jaw clenched.  He started to walk away, leaving me sitting at the table with Xander and a deck of cards sprawled across the surface.  My hands curled into fists and I held back a shout.  Jason just had a way of bringing out the worst of me, and I didn't know why.  No one else I knew could turn my temper to the max like it had been these past two days.  But I knew enough about him to know that I had to grab his attention with something appealing—maybe not to me, but to him.  
  
        "I want out of here, Jason," I said just before he stepped out of the kitchen.  He kept walking.  
  
        "Good luck with that," he called over his shoulder.  
  
        My jaw closed tighter, and I thought my teeth would just about break.  "Two weeks," I told him.  Jason paused, only momentarily, to hear what I had to say.  "Your room, for two weeks.  No more, no less."  
  
        His back straightened.  "If you willingly give the basement up, what fun is it for me?"  He had a joking tone, but I could tell he was trying to decide whether to take my offer or not.  I hated myself for it, but I hiked up what I was willing to lose.  
  
        "One month," I said.  "No more, no less."  
  
        His head cocked to the side.  We both had a 50/50 chance of getting what we wanted.  The ordering of your cards at the beginning didn't mean anything, it was complete chance.  I knew he didn't want to play, but I also knew he was never one to back down from a challenge.  And considering I'd just won, he probably wanted to redeem himself.  
  
        "One month in my room," Jason repeated.  "And your phone."  
  
        My nails dug into my palms.  If that's what was going to get him to play...  I had to try.  
  
        "Fine."  
  
        Jason turned and strutted his way back to his seat, watching my eyes carefully as he took the strewn cards in his hands and began to shuffle them.  I held his stare, not willing to back down.  We held each other's glares until he had dealt all the cards, then we began looking through our hands.  
  
        I had three face cards.  Out of twelve.  When I'd gotten my phone, I'd had eight.  My stomach sank as I mixed my cards.  It already looked like I was losing both my phone and my dignity.  I wanted so badly to back out, but I couldn't.  There was still that small chance I could win, but not really anymore.  Jason would know I was a coward, something Sam had tried for so long to beat out of me.  Granted, Sam wouldn't want me doing something rash like this, but I wouldn't back out.  
  
        And six turns into the game, I knew I was done for.  
  
        The Ghost had taken a majority of my cards, and I'd only won one round with a Jack against a three and a seven.  Jason's card value was increasing, and with the cards the Ghost was taking, after ten turns I was losing too much ground to catch up.  I was starting to panic; I would lose my phone, whether I wanted to or not—he'd force it away from me if he had to.  And I'd spend the next month in Jason's room—he'd also force me, and I knew it—if Sam and Tyler hadn't found a way to bust me out.  Another three cards left my possession and I pulled out my phone to shoot Tyler a message.  I hadn't received one from anyone yet, probably because they, too, thought Jason would read them.  
  
         _I got my phone back from Jason, but only for a few minutes.  I'm fine, but speed up the busting-me-out process.  Love you._  
  
        I looked up as I pushed my phone into my pocket and Jason was watching me carefully.  I narrowed my eyes and placed down another card.  I won this one with an eight, gaining only a four and a seven.  The Ghost had a particularly good hand, so neither Jason nor I were getting many, but I still knew he had more.  And when I had no cards left in my hand, I didn't have to count to know he had more.  But I did, and I felt sick as I said my number out loud.  
  
        "One-eleven."  
  
        The corner of Jason's mouth twitched upward.  "One-Thirty-two."  
  
        I stood up, placed my phone on the table, and left.  I was straight for the basement, not pausing as I climbed down the steps.  
  
        "Don't expect anything from me, McCann," I said.  I knew he heard me, and I knew he caught what I meant.  I played bets fairly, but there was no small print that gave him any more than I'd said.  
  
        My feet hit the basement floor and I began pacing, so upset with myself I couldn't even think.  And next thing I knew, I was leaning against the wall, curled in a ball and pressing my palms to my temples, just as I'd done when I realized he'd taken my gun away.  Every day in this place felt like something more was being stripped from me.  And I hated it, more than I hated Jason.  
  
        I finally swallowed my pride and went upstairs around midnight.


	7. ~9.06...2~

    “You’re looking awfully confident for someone who just saw the person they were supposed to be holding hostage with a knife to your guy’s throat,” I growled, pressing the blade against Leo’s windpipe.  I didn’t want to kill him, but I’d never admit that to Jason.

    “You’re looking awfully confident for a hostage that’s outnumbered by five.  How long do you bet you’ll last, Little L?  You’re pretty feisty.  I’ll put three grand on two minutes.”

    “Fuck you,” I spat, keeping my hold on Leo.

    “Honestly, Little L, you don’t think we’d be prepared for someone twice your size to try to get a jump on us?  You’re the least of our worries right now.”

    Jason jutted out his chin, satisfied with letting me know just how screwed I was.  I ground my teeth.

    “I seriously doubt that,” I retorted.

    In one swift motion I kicked out Leo’s leg and landed my elbow to his temple on the way down.  He was out like a light, still breathing normally as he sprawled onto the ground.  As I moved away from him, the light fell onto his face.  I then recognized him as the guy we’d taken out when we raided Jason.  A laugh almost escaped me—this kid was too soft.  I let out a long breath, then focused my glare back to Jason.

    “Don’t call me Little L.”

    He laughed, holding up his hands.  “Fine.  Phoebe, then.  Welcome to the McCann abode.”

    I flipped him off and began to walk up the stairs.  Jason didn’t scare me in the least anymore, not after how easily I’d gotten out of my bonds and taken out one of his guys.  But I still had to stay on guard, just like Sam had told me.

    Jason held out his hand for me to take it, but I brushed right past him and strutted out into the hallway.  It smelled like cigarettes and stale bread, and the lighting was low.  The walls, bare and painted a dark brown, blended with the dark gray tiled floor.  The hall spread out to either side of me, and I flashed my gaze back and forth while Jason studied me.  I didn’t know my way around, but I’d find out soon enough.

    I led myself to the left, ignoring Jason and finding a door with a coded lock that I knew lead to a six-car garage.  I’d seen it from the outside, and it was on the left side of the house and below a majority of the upper levels.  They—being his group—all drove nice and new vehicles, a show of how much money they made from dealing.

    That was the end of the hallway, and I turned to go back the other way.  Jason was watching me casually, though closely.  I shot him a look, avoiding his body on my way past.

    “You’re just going to leave him?” I asked as I turned my head, looking in doors along the wall.  A bathroom, a laundry room, a closet (I’d opened the door to see, and was met by coats and shoes of varying sizes), and a locked door.  I eyed the door carefully before moving on, curious about the contents.

    “He’ll wake up in a little bit,” Jason answered.  I heard his feet begin to follow me.  “He’s fine.”

    The hallway ended in front of me with a heavy door, the handle bearing another coded lock.  A security system panel was embedded in the wall to the side of it, showing red letters across the screen that said  _ARMED_.  They had to keep codes around somewhere.  I’d find them eventually.

    To the left was a staircase leading to the main level of the house.  I walked up, trying to get a view of what was at the top.  A kitchen, I realized as I stepped onto the tiled floor.  Cabinets were on one wall, a fridge and oven separated between them.  A microwave rested on the counter and a dishwasher was built into a rectangular island in the middle of the room.  A dining table sat about ten feet from the island, and one of Jason’s guys was sitting at it.  Xander, I realized, judging by his voice.  It had sounded like he’d been closer—I’d have to keep in mind that sound traveled in this house.

    “Where’s Leo?” Xander asked, eyeing me with suspicion.  A card game was spread out on the table in front of him.  Rolls of money laid in the middle of two hands of cards

    “She knocked him out,” Jason’s voice came from behind me.  “Little bit smarter than most people we leave in the basement.  She was almost out before I got there.  You’ll have to sleep with one eye open tonight.”

    Jason was mocking me.  I didn’t say anything, only for the reason that his words were very true.  I’d make my days with them a living hell.

    I shot Xander a glare and turned, leading myself into the only carpeted area of the house to the right.  It was littered with bean bags.  They were circled around a large flatscreen TV with an Xbox attached.  The screen was black, and the room unattended, but anyone could tell that six boys used it regularly.  Wrappers and cans were dropped haphazardly, no attempt at keeping the room nice evident at all.  This spread the length of the dining space and kitchen, leaving plenty of room for all of them to gather at the same time.

    Past this was another wall of doors, one leading to another bathroom, a room that looked fairly lived in, and two more closed doors.  I walked across the room and opened the first one, finding a closet full of vests—probably bulletproof—and heavy duty boots.  I closed the door and opened the next, finding a small room they looked to be using as storage.  Boxes were stacked high along the far wall and dispersed as they got to the door.  Nothing that interested me.

    “What’s she doing?” Xander asked.  “You’re supposed to have her on a tight leash, Jason.”

    I clenched my fists.  Tight leash, my ass.

    “She’s checking out the place,” Jason answered him lazily.  “I’m standing right here.  She’s not going anywhere.”

    A staircase on my right side caught my eye.  I moved toward it abruptly, carrying myself to the third level of the house.  I heard Jason moving across the floor, appearing at the bottom of the stairs as I stepped to the top.

    There was a large landing, wood flooring covering the expanse.  It was empty except for a threadbare sofa that had lost its original color.  Sitting against the dark walls, its light and faded color stood out, making it look a little sad.  My eyes traveled past the landing and found another hallway, about  ten feet across.  I walked along it, looking at each door I passed.

    The first was another bedroom, as was the second, third, and fourth.  The doors alternated sides, giving each room a great deal of space.  The last door in the hallway was shut.  There was a lock on it, but when I turned the knob it opened without resisting.

    It was just another room, except the window on the far wall was larger than the ones in the other rooms.  Dark drapes were hung above the window’s frame, making the room seem more menacing than it was.  No sunlight came in, meaning it was probably late.  A large king size bed was settled against the wall, comforter and sheets unmade from this morning.  Closet doors hung open on the wall opposite the bed, revealing a walk-in with a mess of clothes that spilled onto the floor.  The floor was still all wood, but a dark rug spread across the majority of the room.

    I closed the door and turned, but gave a start at Jason’s close proximity.  He was less than two feet away, looking down at me with a smile.  I glared, backing up to the door.

    “My room,” he said in a low voice, taking a step toward me.  I didn’t flinch, but grew very uncomfortable when he lifted his arms to rest on either side of my head.  Jason lowered his face, close enough that I could feel his breath on mine.  “Yours, too.  If you want it.”

    I scoffed.  “The hell if I do.  I don’t want to be anywhere near you.”

    His lip curled into a smirk.  “I’m sure that’s why you left with me so willingly, even against your brother’s orders.”

    I planted my hands on his chest and shoved him away from me.  “You had a gun pointed at his head and you shot Emmett, asshole.  What else was I supposed to do?”

    Jason clucked his tongue.  “I guess having values has a down side.”

    I clenched my jaw and swung my fist, aiming for Jason’s stomach.  He caught my hand and cocked an eyebrow at me.  I let something close to a growl escape my throat and drove my knee into his thigh.  Jason’s jaw tightened and I heard him let out a grunt.  My lips curled at the corners, satisfied.

    “Don’t insult Markus, or Sam, or anyone associated with me,” I glowered.  “They’re all a hundred times the man you will ever be.”

    “You have me there,” Jason admitted, standing straighter.  He’d recovered quicker than I’d anticipated.  “Which is why you won’t hold it against me if I do this—“

    Jason’s hand connected with the side of my face, causing me to step out to catch myself.  A stinging sensation flourished across my cheek and I let out a surprised breath.  He’d hit me.

    “You stupid asshole,” I spat, whipping back to face him.  “Every time you hit me, Tyler will come back at you tenfold.”

    “I’m sure he will,” Jason said nonchalantly, starting back down the hall.  “You’re probably hungry.  You can get food in the kitchen, along with an ice pack for your face.”

    “Kiss my ass,” I mumbled, following him.

    Leo had woken up and returned to the table with Xander, where they continued playing their card game.  I watched as Jason rummaged through the kitchen, but couldn’t follow it.  I’d never seen it played before.

    Xander cursed as Leo took another one of his cards, laying them on the table beside his hand.  He looked over at me and snickered.

    “Son of a bitch hit you hard, didn’t he?”

    I could still feel Jason’s handprint on my cheek.  It was warm and tingling.  I glared at Xander and turned my face so he couldn’t see the mark.  Jason was returning with what looked like leftover sandwich meat and a bag of chips.  He held out a plate to me.  I wrinkled my nose and crossed my arms—I was a picky eater.  Cooked meals were the only things that interested me, beside a bowl of cereal once in a while.  Not that I would take food from Jason anyway.

    “You’re gonna go hungry,” Jason taunted, half tossing the plate onto the island.

    “I’d rather do that,” I answered, putting as much distaste as I could manage in my voice.

    He shrugged, lifting a bite to his mouth.  “Suit yourself.”

    “Damn it!” Xander shouted.  “Another card to the damn Ghost.”

    I shook my head, watching Leo’s response.  He smirked, pushing three cards over to the side of a lone deck.

    “Your strategy sucks, man,” Leo told him smugly, pulling a card from the top of the stack of cards in his hand.   He laid it down on the table face up—it was an ace.  “Have trouble beating that one.”

    “Fuck you, Leo,” Xander growled, pushing a king from his deck and a five from the third deck toward Leo.  “I need this money for my mom.”

    I snorted, letting my hair fall over the side of my face Jason hit.  Xander spun on me, eyes on fire.  I nearly rolled my eyes at him.  His temper was annoying.

    “What’s that, Little L?  Hasn’t your mom ever been in trouble?  Seems like everyone is around here, especially  _you_.”

    I ground my teeth.  “I don’t have a mom.”

    Xander looked taken aback.  He shut up about it and turned back to cursing at the dumb game.  A dish clattered in a sink behind me.  I didn’t have to look back to know it was Jason.  I heard his footsteps lead up to right behind where I stood, and felt a warm hand on my waist.

    “Yeah, right,” I spoke through my teeth, shoving his hand away.

    Jason rose an eyebrow at me.  “The boys are changing shifts in an hour, which means it’s just after midnight.  Time for you to choose.  My room, or the basement?”

    “Not even a question,” I spat, walking toward the stairs leading to the lower level.

    I didn’t look back until I’d stepped down onto the concrete flooring of the basement.  Crossing my arms, I looked back up the stairs at Jason.  He was leaning against the doorframe, arm stretched out and fingers drumming on the opposite side.

    “The offer still stands,” he said.  “Just give a holler, and you can curl up with me tonight.”

    “It’ll keep standing,” I retorted.

    Jason shrugged, then moved to close the door.  But I remembered something just then.

    “Where’s my phone?” I shouted up at him.

    “I seemed to have misplaced it,” he mocked, showing me his empty hands.

    The door shut above as he chuckled to himself.  I ground my teeth, trying to figure out what I was going to do.  I’d just come out of about twenty-four hours of sleep, and I had a whole night ahead of me.  The light above my head flickered off and I cursed, immersed in near blackness.

    The lock on the door clicked into place.


	8. ~9.08~

        I ignored an intense glare from Blondie, who'd returned earlier, as I walked across the main floor to the staircase leading up.  He and Xander were the only ones on the level, so I assumed everyone else had gone upstairs.  I lifted myself up the stairs and padded down the hall, my feet cold and without socks or shoes.    
  
        All the doors in the hall were closed.  My hand found Jason's doorknob and I pushed the door open, revealing an empty room.  I was confused until I heard running water inside the bathroom.  I sighed, thankful Jason wasn't available to gloat at my initial entry, and closed the door behind me.  A sick feeling burned in my stomach, mixing with rising agitation at the entire situation.  
  
        I shuffled over to my duffel, a heap next to Jason's bed where I'd thrown it earlier.  I sat down cross-legged in front of it and dug for a pair of sweatpants and a loose tee.  Standing up, I listened carefully to make sure the shower was still running and the bedroom door was closed before quickly peeling off my jeans and yellow tee to change for the clothes I'd just pulled out.  I stuffed my worn clothes back into the duffel and cast it aside.  My legs carried me over to Jason's bed and—though I was disgusted that it was Jason's, I was also too tired from being bitter all day to reject the opportunity—flopped over onto the mattress.  
  
        Almost immediately I felt more tired than I'd ever been, relaxing into a surface much softer than the cement of the basement floor, and my eyes drooped.  I was exhausted from everything that had happened in the past two-and-a-half days here, and already felt the weight of the coming days—banking on the chance Sam and Tyler didn't find a way to get me out.  
  
        My chest tightened a little at the thought of Tyler.  I missed him.  I had never really been away from him for this long in several years, not counting the time Sam had gotten in a long and drawn out fight with Markus and we ended up leaving town for two weeks.  It felt like a part of me was missing, and the fact that the room I'd be sleeping in tonight was occupied by Jason only emphasized the gap.  I rolled onto my back and pressed my palms to my temples, putting enough pressure on them to make the ache in my chest not seem so severe.  
  
        "I thought I'd have to drag you up here myself," Jason's voice came from the doorway of the bathroom, a deep rasp that hinted tiredness.  I jumped and sat bolt upright, swinging my legs off the mattress to face him.  
  
        I hadn't noticed the stop of the shower or the door opening, and I mentally kicked myself.  I shouldn't be caught off guard or miss anything in this house.  It could put me in a lot of trouble, or in this case, an uncomfortable situation.  My hands tightened into fists as I took in Jason's form in.  He was slouched against the doorframe, a dark towel wrapped low around his waist and his formerly swept up hair lying wet against his forehead.  His muscled chest was bare and moist with condensation, and he wore a smirk.  Had he not been who he was, and I who I am, I might have thought him attractive.  
  
        "You like what you see?" he asked, the corners of his mouth tugging higher.  He opened his arms.  
  
        I scoffed.  "Don't flatter yourself," I told him, though I felt a small amount of heat rising in my cheeks.  I immediately stopped my wandering eyes and matched them to his gaze.  "I was just recalling how easy Sam said it was to beat the shit out of you."  I sneered and added, "I agree with him."  
  
        Unfazed, Jason strutted toward the bed until he wasn't more than one foot from where my knees were bent out from the mattress.  I pulled my legs together, unwilling to even give him the option of furthering himself there.  I shot a glare at his amused expression but again he seemed unbothered.  
  
        "He said that?" Jason asked, close to laughing.  
  
        A pang of annoyance hit me.  "Obviously he wasn't lying."  
  
        Something flashed across Jason's face.  Quicker than I could react, Jason strode two steps and lifted me by my sides, threw me further onto the bed and straddled my waist, and thrust his elbows out to rest by either side of my head.  His face hung a mere three inches from mine and his breath hit my cheeks as I let out a strangled cry.  I kicked my legs and threw a punch at Jason's stomach, but he was tensed and prepared for it.  I winced and threw another, close to the same spot with the same result.  
  
        "Easy to beat the shit out of?" he questioned.  "Seems I've toughened up a bit—or you're not up to par."  
  
        I struggled against his weight, throwing punches at every weak spot I'd ever taken Sam or Tyler with, but Jason didn't have any.  I screamed in frustration, but didn't stop swinging.  Truth be told, Sam had only ever won one fair fist fight with Jason out of about eight.  He'd been lying through his teeth when Sam told me Jason was an easy fight.  I wouldn't let Jason knew I was getting nervous at the situation I'd put myself in.  But I felt my heart beating harder as I realized I couldn't push him off in this position.  
  
        "Stop moving," Jason ordered flatly.  I ignored him.  The corner of his mouth tugged up and he bent his face down to my ear.  "Stop struggling and I'll let you go."  
  
        A chill went up my spine and I growled, but stopped moving.  I looked straight up at him and glowered, my hands curled into fists at my sides.  I took a deep breath, gathering my patience.  
  
        And just like that, I'd been taken off guard again.  
  
        Jason had lowered his head faster than I could react yet again, pressing his mouth to mine.  I had felt at least a good three seconds of his lips before my mind registered that Jason had actually had the nerve to kiss me.  My curled fist thrust into his stomach again, followed by my cry of anger.  I pressed my palms firmly against his midsection and pushed as hard as I could, offering some reprieve from his mouth.  
  
        Jason's full face came into view, smirking and making my blood boil.  I released a rushed breath I didn't know I'd been holding.  
  
        "What the  _hell_!" I shouted, throwing all the hatred I possessed into one glare directed at him.  
  
        "Calm down," he rolled his eyes, pulling away from me and stepping back onto the floor.  "You're not dead, are you?"  
  
        "I'd much rather be, after that," I snapped, sitting straight a rigid.  He had gone into his closet and was rummaging through drawers.  
  
        Anger was building up inside me, and I felt like I'd burst with hatred and rage.  Jason was, without a doubt, the most aggravating person I'd ever met.  I was fuming by the time he came out of his closet with just sweatpants hung low on his hips.  
  
        I turned, snatched a pillow from the top of the bed, and slid off the mattress.  Avoiding Jason, I marched to one of the corners by the window and plopped down.  I slapped the pillow on the floor and my head fell back onto it.  
  
        "What are you doing?" Jason rose an eyebrow at me.  
  
        "Trying to sleep," I tried to state calmly, but I sounded almost hysterical with anger.  
  
        "You're throwing a tantrum," Jason retorted, falling onto his bed.  "You look like an idiot."  
  
        I simply rolled over and drew my knees to my chest.  "I said I'd stay in your room, not your bed, asshole.  I'm going to sleep."  
  
        I said nothing more, but my eyes were staring at the wall.  I was wide awake.  Jason hesitated for a long moment, then I heard him rustle sheets and the light flicked off.  It was about an hour before I heard soft snores from him.  I hadn't been able to even close an eye.  The wood floor I was lying on was even less comfortable than the basement's floor, and I was freezing.  The hairs on my arms were raised with chills and my side ached.  
  
        I groaned, miserable.  Rolling over, I watched Jason for a long moment.  He was out cold, and I knew from sleeping in Tyler's room that snores meant he wouldn't wake until morning.  I contemplated the lure of the open half of his bed, my should pleading.  
  
        Finally, my discomfort won out.  
  
        I rose slowly, walking quietly over to the side of the bed Jason wasn't on.  Rolling in slowly and careful not to stir Jason, I sighed heavily at the relief from hard floors again.  I glanced over my shoulder at him and finally accepted that he was staying asleep, then moved the furthest I could to the edge without risking falling off in the night.  I must've been insane after what he did to sleep in his bed, and I felt a pang of guilt at the fact that it wasn't Tyler's bed I had willingly crawled into tonight.  
  
        My insanity was confirmed when I thought I felt my lips tingle where Jason had kissed them just before I drifted to sleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
        The next morning, I woke up with an arm around my midsection.  It felt as if I was back in Tyler's bed again, cozy and warm snuggled up against him.  I sighed happily, relaxing against Tyler's protective arm.  I was so comfortable, and curled more on the mattress, begging to fall asleep again.  This was more rest than I'd had in days.  I rolled over to face Tyler, not opening my eyes before burying my face in his chest.  
  
        I immediately got a sick feeling in my stomach.  
  
        This didn't smell like Tyler at all, didn't feel like his comfortable form.  My forehead drew together, bringing me out of the drowsiness I'd been encased in.  I hadn't gotten this much rest in days because...  Because I wasn't home...  I was...  
  
        Jason.  
  
        My eyes shot open and I pushed him away with all the hazy strength I had in me.  I heard Jason's intake of breath and confused grunt, but I didn't wait for him to say anything.  I rolled off the bed, scooped up my duffel, and stumbled sleepily to the bathroom.  After locking myself in, I sank to the floor, my head pounding.  
  
        I'd thought Jason was Tyler.  No, no that wasn't right.  I couldn't let my guard down like that.  Sleeping in Jason's bed wasn't an option anymore.  It was the floor, and that was final.  I couldn't do it, not of it meant letting Jason think he could do that to me.  
  
        I let out a shaky breath and pressed my palms to my closed eyes.  I missed home more than I'd expected I would; I felt sick to my stomach, but I picked myself up and threw on a change of clothes - jogging shorts and a large t-shirt.  To get the bad taste out of my mouth I brushed my teeth, then stuffed everything back into my duffel.  
  
        My head was still pounding as I slung the bag over my shoulder and prepared my best steely glare for Jason.  When I entered the bedroom again, Jason was still laying on his bed where I'd left him.  I threw the duffel toward the bed and spun on a heel, heading for the door.  
  
        "What changed your  
mind about the floor?" Jason called out.  I could hear the smirk in his voice.  
  
        I scoffed.  "It certainly wasn't you."  I paused with my hand on the doorknob.  "Don't worry, it won't happen again."  
  
        And with that, I threw open the door and stalked out, heading for my usual place in the basement.


	9. ~9.13~

Five days later, I was in the worst mood I'd been in for a long time.

At that point, I'd been at Jason's for just over a week, and still had made no improvement to my situation. I had a constant pain in my neck from sleeping on Jason's floor, had had nothing to eat but Ramen noodles for six days, and ran out of clean clothes to wear. I was wearing the pair of baggy sweatpants I'd worn a few days ago and a gray tee, slouching in one of the giant beanbags, when Jason walked in from the lower level.

"Would it kill you to keep a washing machine around here?" I said, staring up at the revolving ceiling fan.

"Would it kill you to stop bitching for more than five minutes?" he grumbled, throwing open the fridge. He'd been in a bad mood since I'd slept in his bed and flipped out a few nights ago.

"Well unless you want my clothes to start getting gross, I suggest you either buy a washer or take me to a laundromat," I snapped, crossing my arms even though he couldn't see.

Jason said nothing for a long moment, but I heard him rummaging for food. The refrigerator door shut and I heard a bowl clamber onto the island. "I have to go out tonight anyway. Put whatever you want washed in your duffel, and I'll take it when I go."

My eyebrows rose. "They're my clothes. I'll wash them."

The silverware drawer in the kitchen slammed closed. "Do you want your damn clothes clean or not?" Jason growled.

His tone surprised me, but spiked my annoyance more than anything. "The real question here is do you!?" I said in very much the same tone. "I'm perfectly fine with watching you all suffer, as disgusting as that is. I've been trying to find a way out for a week now. If this is it, then so be it."

Jason laughed quietly. "You're not getting out by smelling bad. We live with Leo, you know. Can't get much worse than that."

I sat silently, throwing curses at him in my head. I probably wanted to be clean more than he cared, and knew I wasn't getting out of his house any time soon. My hands clenched at my sides and I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I still didn't want to lose to Jason, but it seemed like I was doing that a hell of a lot lately.

I lifted myself from the bean bag and stalked up the stairs. When I reached my duffel I wrenched it open and began sifting through my clothes. I stuffed everything back in, leaving out only a pair of socks and a black tee. After throwing it on the bed I made my way back downstairs, a grimace on my face as I collapsed back into the giant bean bag.

Jason was sitting at the table now, eating leftovers of take out he'd brought back a day or two before. I wrinkled my nose at him, but he didn't see it.

"Don't wash white with red," I told him as I stared at the ceiling again. "Don't dry my sweatpants or jeans. Don't wash lights with darks. Set the temperature to thirty degrees when you wash my tees, since they're cotton. Oh, and use a good-smelling detergent — but only one that's gentle on clothes."

My goal was to be a pain-in-the-ass, hopefully to convince him to take me with. I needed a change of scenery — plus, it might've been a good opportunity to get away. But Jason said nothing. After a long silence I glanced over at him and found him typing on his phone.

"Did you take any of that in?" I snapped. My hands clenched and I sat up. "I better not have ruined clothes when you get back."

He looked up, glaring. "Would you like to see my screen?" he said through his teeth, sounding impatient. "I'm making a note of it. Stop whining and get your head out of your ass so you can realize that not everyone is out to get you."

I blinked. What he'd said had definitely shut me up. I grunted and laid back down, resuming my analysis of the ceiling fan. It was a small thing, but strange for him to do. The whole week I'd been here he'd been rude and cruel and ignorant, and he finally chose now to listen to me? I ran the conversation over in my head — he'd had every opportunity to get up and walk out, or to call me a high-maintainence brat, or whatever else could pass as an insult; but he'd just taken my comments and actually wrote something down. I was incredibly bothered by this. So bothered, in fact, that I was still brewing about it when Jason walked past me and upstairs about an hour later, returning with my duffel and heading for the garage.

"You'll have your clothes in the morning," he called over his shoulder before I heard the garage door open and close.

My arms crossed over my chest, I scowled at the fan for a long time. I was supposed to be the bigger person, not Jason. I was supposed to be the one who could be kind when I needed to be, not Jason. I was supposed to be the one on moral high-ground, not Jason.

Realize that everyone is not out to get you. I blinked. What the hell was I here for? If Jason weren't out to get me, I wouldn't be in this bean bag, sitting in this house right now. But maybe he didn't count that, maybe he only counted everything from the minute I woke up in the basement. If he were counting like that, he still lost with hitting me, and kissing me...

My thoughts trailed off, remembering how my lips had felt for over an hour after he'd forced himself on me. I'd gone momentarily insane, thinking about it too much like I was right now. No, I told myself. You're acting like you did after your first fight with Tyler. Too much thinking — find a distraction.

I got up and immediately walked to the kitchen, glancing at the clock on the wall. Forcing Jason from my mind altogether, I concluded that eight was still an acceptable time to make food, then dug around in the fridge to see what was in it. After looking long enough to make it beep at me, I pulled out a few eggs and a veggie platter. Obviously Jason and his guys didn't know how to shop for groceries, nor go often enough to learn. I turned to a cabinet and pulled out a package of Ramen noodles. No matter how often I'd had them in the past few days, they'd be good with eggs and vegetables.

I threw a pan on the stove and emptied most of the vegetables onto it and sautéd them, then boiled noodles, scrambled eggs, and threw them all together with a little soy sauce that was in the fridge. I put a bowl of it on the cooling stove to keep it warm while I cleaned up, and reached for the soy sauce last — only to have it spill on the counter and my shirt.

I cursed loudly, capping the bottle and all but throwing it back in the fridge. I reached for the paper towels and wiped the counter first, then dabbed at my shirt. Rolling my eyes at myself, I tossed the paper towel into the wastebasket and jogged upstairs for my black tee. I threw it on, leaving the gray one next to Jason's bed. As I walked back down the stairs, I heard someone in the kitchen.

"Damn, I didn't know Jason could cook," Leo's voice said, obviously with a full mouth. "This is good."

I walked in to find him hunched over my bowl at the counter. "What the hell?" I said loudly, making him jump. "That would be mine."

His face flushed and he held his hands up. I rolled my eyes and swiped the bowl from him, taking it to the table and slouching in the seat. Leo had been the most like-able of the whole house, but sometimes he got on my last nerve. By far, he wasn't the brightest, and he did get annoying, but he was still nice.

I noticed Xander standing opposite Leo, looking indifferent. He had been the least like-able by a landslide, which was hard to do with Jason in the house. I shot a glare at Xander, getting the same look in return. After tossing the fork Leo had been using I grabbed another from the drawer and sat sideways in a chair at the table. It was quiet for a long moment before Leo spoke up again.

"That's good stuff," he mumbled, gesturing toward the bowl in front of me.

I half smiled, prideful. "I cook for the guys at home, too." My already waning smile fell at the mention of the place I should be right now.

Xander snorted. "Clean, too, I bet. Probably don't let you drive, either."

"When are you going to realize," I said, standing and rounding on him, "that nothing coming from your mouth is relevant, nor valued in any way?"

He sneered. "And since when does your opinion matter?"

"Since I got here," I shot, fists clenched. "And notice how you're not on his run tonight? Oh, and since Jason made you his bitch, running around and doing his errands while he pays more attention to me than any of you."

His arrogant demeanor fell and I saw his whole body tense. I could tell I hit a nerve before Xander lashed out, almost clipping my jaw with a punch. I sprang into action, lunging at him and kicking out his leg, but not before he gave me a swift jab to my stomach. I reacted with bringing my elbow down on his jaw, causing him to shout and shove me away.

"Hey!" Leo hissed, pulling me away from Xander. "You know what Jason said, Xander!"

"Jason can kiss my ass," Xander growled, hopping up from the floor. His hands fell away from his jaw and I saw blood. I smirked, seeing I'd split the skin just under the left side of his chin. "This whore is intolerable."

Leo's grip automatically tensed on my arm when the insult left Xander's mouth, but he didn't need to worry. Wasting more energy on Xander would've been pointless, since I'd already left a wound that'd take a while to heal. Plus, it probably hurt like hell; I was satisfied.

I turned out of Leo's hands and strode off toward the stairs and called over my shoulder, "at least I'd be able to get guys. I haven't seen you with one girl since I got here, and Grant's brought back three."

It sounded as if they both had frozen solid, but I ignored them and jogged upstairs and into Jason's room. The other guys — Carter, Grant, and Blondie — were probably out with Jason. The way he'd made it sound, it seemed they wouldn't be back until morning. I was content with the news, glad I didn't have to deal with the majority of Jason's gang.

I snagged the black tee I'd chosen to leave behind and headed into the bathroom, locking the door and throwing the shower on. After showering quickly, I used the same sweatpants but tugged on the black tee. I brushed my teeth, then sat the brush down on the sink where I'd been leaving it for a few days now. I wasn't afraid of Jason poisoning my tooth brush or anything. He probably wasn't smart enough.

I reached my hands above my head to stretch, but cringed with a stab of pain from my midsection. My hand rubbed the sore spot where Xander had stolen a hit and I all but growled, fed up with the way he'd been looking at me like I was dirt. He was probably the most incredibly ignorant person I'd ever seen.

The pain in my neck flared up again when I tried to stretch it from side to side. Sighing, I leaned against the bathroom door. I had been more beat up here in one week than I had in half a year of runs with Sam and Tyler. And I was afraid the knot in my neck would only get worse — like the time Tyler hand been sleeping with four pillows under his head while claiming it helped his lungs, but ended up in almost a month of crippling pain. I needed to find at least an air mattress, but I doubted Jason would allow it.

I slid out of the bathroom and glanced longingly at the bed. It had been so comfortable the night I'd stayed on it. I'd slept so well, until the rude awakening I'd had. I knew I had promised myself not to sleep in Jason's bed again, but it was so tempting at the moment — plus, Jason wouldn't even be back until the next morning. My hand trailed over the sheets at the foot of the bed, scanning the hastily made spread. I was at war with myself, seeing which way would tug harder. Yes, it was Jason's bed, but he wouldn't be in it...

In the end, my sore neck ruled out over everything.

I slid beneath the covers on the side I'd occupied almost a week ago, curling up with the sheets around me and immediately feeling my eyes droop. I counted slowly to ten, something Tyler taught me when I'd had trouble sleeping for a few weeks. After a pang in my chest, I'd barely gotten to six when I felt myself slipping from consciousness.


	10. ~9.14~

I woke with a start the next morning, almost like a nightmare I couldn’t remember scared me out of sleep. My eyes were staring blearily toward the door to Jason’s room, half obstructed by sheets. I was curled tightly on Jason’s bed and almost drowning in the comforter, the pain in my back only half as bad as it had been the past few days. Aside from the jolt back to consciousness, I’d slept better than I had since I got to Jason’s.

 

I sucked in a deep breath and stretched my arms over my head. Looking over my shoulder suddenly, I realized Jason wasn’t in the bed. A smile stretched across my face, knowing he wouldn’t have the satisfaction of seeing me give in. He was probably still out, though, because it felt early in the morning. Sitting up, I tried to rub a little of the sleep out of my eyes. But when I opened them, the heap of sleeping bag and air mattress woke me up more than I would’ve liked.

 

Jason was lying at the foot of the bed, sprawled out in a sleeping bag and breathing deeply. His head was turned toward me, jaw slack and expression relaxed. Like this, it was much easier to see why most of the girls I knew around here worshiped the ground he walked on — he really was attractive, when he wasn’t trying to control everything and acting like a dick.

 

I mentally shook myself. Jason was never not a dick, and I had to remember that. I pressed my palms to my temples and closed my eyes, trying to figure out why he hadn’t slept in the bed. There must’ve been a reason, probably to piss me off by playing himself off as a nice person, or to mess with my head. I couldn’t let it get to me, I wouldn’t.

 

My feet swung over the side of the bed and landed on cold floor. I padded over toward the bathroom, but stopped almost as soon as I’d started. Right in my path were four brand-less shopping bags filled to the brim with clothes. My eyebrows rose and I crept up to them, noticing right away that they for sure weren’t guys’ clothes. I dug my hand in one of them and pulled out a navy long sleeved shirt, a nice one that looked moderately expensive. My fingers closed around the collar and flipped up the tag, revealing the shirt was, in fact, my size.

 

My jaw clenched and I stuffed the shirt back into the bag. Jason had nerve! The only reason I even took food from him was to not starve; why would he think I’d take anything like this? Another way to screw with me, that’s what this was. He was trying to show how much bigger of a person he was by childish means. My temper brewed and I grabbed two of the bags by the handles. Spinning on him, I threw the bags at Jason as hard as I could, then grabbed the other two and threw them.

 

“What the hell!?” came his groggy voice from the sleeping bag. I could see him struggling to sit up and he pushed the bags from on top of him. “What—?”

 

“I’m not taking that,” I snapped, crossing my arms. “Whatever you’re playing at, I’m not biting. So you can cut this ‘I’m better than you’ bullshit and keep to yourself. I didn’t ask you for that, nor will I ever. Don’t think for one second that you’ll ever be a better person than anyone.”

 

Jason had sat up, his hair disheveled and eyes trying hard to focus. “What the hell are you talking about?”

 

I scoffed. “The clothes, you asshole! And why the hell are you sleeping on the floor?”

 

He started at me, dumbfounded. “I got clothes for you so you wouldn’t be wearing the same thing over and over. I’m not dumb, I know girls hate it. And I’m sleeping on the floor because I thought I could avoid being woken up and yelled at, just like this! Get your head out of your ass, Phoebe. If I wanted to make you to hate me, I wouldn’t have to go out of my way to do it.”

 

“Keeping me here wasn’t enough for you,” I spoke sharply, ignoring what he’d just said. “Now you’ve got to try to mess with my head, make me think you’re not the lowlife you really are? Good luck with that, because you lost your chance when you shot Emmett, when you threatened to kill my brother and my boyfriend if I didn’t come with you, and when you drugged me and threw me in the basement!”

 

I turned on my heel and stalked toward the hall. By now I was steaming, angrier than I’d been in a long time. I threw open the door and didn’t stop stomping until I threw myself into one of the big beanbags.

 

“What did he do this time?” came a voice from the kitchen table, making me jump.

 

I turned my head, finding Leo with a bowl of cereal in front of him, looking amused. I huffed and rolled my eyes, sparing him from some of my anger. After all, he was the one I least hated in the house.

 

“Screw off, Leo,” I said. He held up his hands, then went back to his cereal.

 

I turned my head back to look at the ceiling, fully intent on brooding, but now I didn’t feel like I had enough anymore. Closing my eyes, I admitted to myself I was annoyed with the fact that Leo could calm me down just by being him, much like Peter could.

 

I sat quietly, remembering a time not long ago where I’d been especially mad at Tyler. He’d stood me up to hang out with an ex-girlfriend of his, one he had assured me he’d lost contact with months before. We had been together for almost two years at that point, so the chance that he had been cheating on me hit me harder than I would’ve liked. Tyler and I had a very obnoxious shouting match, throwing insults neither of us really meant, just to see who would cave first. It was a terrible way to sort things out, but neither of us cared to sit down and have a conversation.

 

Tyler finally stopped the madness by walking out, but had left me angry to the point of tears. Markus and Tyler had been on a run and God knows where Emmett was, so Pete was the sole witness to the fight. I’d collapsed into one of the chairs at the table, head in my hands as he crept into the kitchen from the living room.

 

“Holy hell, Little L,” he’d said quietly.

 

I’d leapt up, ready to scream at him like I had at Tyler, but the amused and innocent look on his face seemed to take all the spite out of me. My body fell back into the chair, half laughing and half crying.

 

“Damn it all, Pete,” I’d said quietly. “Why can’t I get angry with you?”

 

“I’ve just got one of those faces,” he’d replied in just the right tone to cripple me with laughter. It hadn’t really been funny, but the stress and tears pouring from my body made me just a touch hysterical.

 

I was far from hysterical now, though, I thought. I hadn’t been offended by Jason’s acts of apparent kindness; I’d been annoyed and teased by them. It was different when I didn’t love whoever I was shouting at.

 

“If everyone wasn’t awake before, they are now,” Leo said casually. “You’ve got a set of lungs on you.”

 

I didn’t reply, only stared harder at the ceiling fan. He cleared his throat and I heard the clink of silverware against a bowl, and I did my best to ignore the fact that he and Jason and everyone in this house existed. It gave me a sense of peace for only a few seconds before a door opened to my right.

 

“What in the hell were you shouting about now?” Blondie’s annoyed voice hit my ears. “You’ve got to be running out of things to piss and moan about.”

 

I said nothing, but glanced over at him. His hair was hanging messily in his face, and he only wore a pair of oversized basketball shorts and two worn socks. My gaze drifted back to the fan as I grunted quietly.

 

“Apparently Jason was being an ass,” Leo imitated my voice very poorly.

 

“Since when has that been new,” Blondie remarked, more of a tired mumble than words. “Or a reason to wake the whole damn house?”

 

I held my silence, arms crossed and tapping my feet on the floor. Blondie shuffled past me and into the kitchen, where he proceeded to bang around the cabinets until he found what I assumed was a pan and placed in on the stove. A few minutes later I heard sizzling, and not long after I smelled burning bacon.

 

“It’s burning,” I stated openly, knowing he probably could’ve guessed that. I’d found it entertaining to set him off.

 

“I’m aware,” he said, annoyance creeping back into his voice.

 

The sizzling mostly stopped, but the burning smell did not. I wrinkled my nose and sat up. My stomach growled as I took in the bacon smell, no matter that it was burnt. I stood and walked into the kitchen, where Blondie was staring at his poor excuse for a plate of breakfast. He reminded me increasingly of Emmett, aside from the bleached-hair-epic-douche vibe. Emmett couldn’t cook for shit, which is why I’d started taking over meals for them in the first place. I glanced at the pan Blondie had used, still sitting on the stove. Grease bubbled on it, making me grimace.

 

“Problem?” Blondie asked defensively, taking a bite of his burnt bacon. I could tell he fought the urge to put it down.

 

I snickered, brushing past him to find a bowl. I returned with a small paper bowl I’d found, then set it on the counter next to the stove.

 

“You just need a little help, Blondie,” I said snottily, lifting the pan of grease and pouring it carefully into the bowl. After it had drained, I set the pan down and pushed the bowl to the side to cool.

 

“Don’t call me ‘Blondie’,” he huffed. I heard the trash can open and smiled, satisfied as his breakfast hit the bottom.

 

“I’ll call you what I want,” I replied casually, then moved to the fridge.

 

When he didn’t reply, I looked around to see if they’d restocked it. They hadn’t, and all that was left was a few eggs, fruits and vegetables, and a small amount of bacon. The rest was all left over carry out, and looked very unappealing. I pulled out the carton of eggs, a tomato, and the rest of what Blondie hadn’t burned.

 

He gave me a weird look as I stood up, pulled out a knife, and began slicing the tomato on the counter. I rolled my eyes and continued. Ten minutes, seven eggs, and five strips of bacon later, I slid the pan off the burner and pulled out a large plate. I poured what I’d made — bacon and tomatoes in eggs was something I’d loved for years — on the plate and set it on the island.

 

“There,” I said. I put the pan back, leaned my back against the counter, and waited. “I was getting tired of seeing you all struggle for a decent meal.”

 

“What the hell is that?” Blondie wrinkled his nose.

 

“Eggs with bacon tomato bits in it,” I stated, crossing my arms. “If you’re too picky, you can dig your burnt meal out of the trash.”

 

He shot me an eye roll before taking out a paper plate and a fork and scooping a little onto it. I watched as he took a bite, then smiled slyly when he didn’t say anything.

 

“Nothing to say?” I asked. Blondie shot me a look and walked out of the kitchen, his plate with him. His door closed a few seconds later. I laughed smugly, then grabbed a plate of my own.

 

“I get some, right?” Leo asked. I glanced at him. He was smiling, an empty bowl of cereal in front of him. He had eaten what I’d made last night and had liked it enough.

 

I rose an eyebrow. “Didn’t you just have your breakfast?”

 

“Always have room for more,” he answered, standing and bringing his bowl to the sink. He came back with a paper plate, looking expectant.

 

“Whatever,” I said, taking a bite of what I’d made. The dish always reminded me of my uncle before he went bat shit crazy, when he cooked for Sam and I during the weekends. It felt odd to share it with someone other than the people I was closest to.

 

He dug in and sat down, eating loudly. I tried not to notice.

 

“Why,” a voice came from the lower level, directed toward whoever was above, “does it smell like a cooking show every other day now?” Their footsteps were heavy against the stairs, and a few seconds later Grant appeared in the kitchen. He looked tired, probably coming back from standing guard at the warehouse.

 

“Phoebe cooks,” Leo said before I could answer. “It’s good.”

 

“Good,” Grant said. “I’m starving.” I backed out of the way and sat across the table from Leo as Grant filled a plate, then walked slowly toward the stairs. “Damn,” he mumbled through a mouthful of food. “We’ve never had someone who can cook in the house before.”

 

I smiled slightly, satisfied. It bothered me a little, but even with just two weeks in Jason’s house I could start to see similarities between the guys — even though Jason’s group were dicks. And since Grant was a friend of Emmett’s, it was easier to talk to him. Leo was still my favorite, partly because he wasn’t too proud to admit he liked my food, and partly because he was just like-able.

 

“Don’t count on it for too long,” I said truthfully, a hint of truth in my voice.

 

The only reason I hadn’t tried to get out more was my bet with Jason. I cursed myself again and again for staying true to my wagers, but Sam and my uncle had raised me well. But if Sam or Tyler got to me, stopping them was out of my control.

 

Grant glanced at me, his fork half way to his mouth. He knew what I meant, but his expression was disbelieving. But if he had a remark, he kept it to himself and continued eating. By now the only thing left of what I’d made was only a chunk the size of a golfball, so I tossed it in the trash. Without sparing Leo or Grant a look, I returned to my spot on the bean bag.

 

A few minutes later I heard Jason’s footsteps coming down the stairs, and looked over with a glare. He didn’t so much as acknowledge my presence as he brushed by and into the kitchen. I let out a short breath through my nose.

 

“I’m heading out,” he said. “Carter and I are heading a few towns over to work on a deal. I need one of you to talk to Lucas about Friday night — we all have to be here. It’s important. If he gives you any shit, tell him I gave an order.”

 

And with that, he treaded down the stairs and the garage door opened an closed. My curiosity peaked as Grant walked into the living room.

 

“Friday?” I asked. “What’s going on Friday?” Grant shook me off, heading toward Blondie’s room. I rose an eyebrow. “I’m going to be here anyway, may as well just tell me.”

 

“Jason’s throwing a party,” Leo said from the table. He got up, walked over, and plopped into a bean bag next to mine. “Strengthening ties, or whatever. If you ask me, it’s gonna blow up for sure. All those dealers in one place — major competition vibes, you know?”

 

“Thankfully, no one asked you,” Grant rolled his eyes and knocked on Blondie’s door. “If Jason isn’t worried, we shouldn’t be.”

 

I didn’t say anything while Grant told Blondie what Jason had said. Blondie hit the door with his fist but gave in after Grant mentioned it being an order. I sunk further into my bean bag after he closed the door and Grant sat down at the table.

 

A party; that was interesting. Markus had never organized one because he was afraid it’d get out of hand, and didn’t like the idea of how many of our suppliers would be carrying guns. It didn’t seem needed, in our situation or in Jason’s, since Jason was one of the most well known distributers and had several suppliers and allies. It must have been to make more money, or get another person caught in the trade. The whole system was a mess.

 

“What’s the party for?” I asked. “You’ve got all you need; enough to last you a couple years if you’re smart about it. You don’t need knew ties — and last I knew, you were mooching off of our suppliers.”

 

Leo shrugged. “Jason has parties every so often. Just flashing his money, I guess. We just follow orders.”

 

I considered this for a moment. “How did you even get caught up in this place?” I turned my head toward Leo and watched his face. “Why here; why Jason?”

 

He looked like he wasn’t going to tell me, but gave in after a few seconds. “I got into trouble a while ago with a couple dicks from a gang that doesn’t exist anymore. They cornered me — and were going to kill me — until Jason showed up and…” He hesitated. “Shot them. I owe him my life, and here I am.”

 

I looked away after giving him a noise of acknowledgment. Jason had saved Leo’s life. I definitely hadn’t seen that coming, seeing as Leo wasn’t necessarily the smartest. Maybe the guys had had something Jason wanted, but there still wasn’t a reason for Jason to keep Leo alive. Mercy; that’s what his act had been. And he’d gotten someone to push around out of it.

 

“What’s your story, Conn?” I said pointedly at Grant.

 

“How about you share your life story,” Grant said defensively, sounding irritated. I rolled my eyes.

 

“That’s a story for another day,” I replied absentmindedly. The truth was that I didn’t want to admit I’d been more or less abandoned by my parents, forced into the care of my uncle until Markus found Sam and I when I was twelve, and learned when I was fifteen that my uncle had died of a heart attack two years before.

 

No one said anything for a long time, and I wasn’t going to be the first to break the silence.

 

Several hours later, it was midnight and I had gone upstairs to shower and change. I pulled on my black sweatpants and yellow t-shirt. They were my own clothes, as I refused to wear those given to me by Jason. After walking out into the room, I spotted the air mattress at the foot of Jason’s bed. I headed straight for it, unwilling to face his false kindness in letting me use his bed like I knew he would.

 

I pulled the sleeping bag off of the mattress and grabbed a blanket from Jason’s bed, the only thing I’d use from there. I was tired, even after lounging all day, and it didn’t take long for me to fall sleep.

 

But it wasn’t restful; I had a stirring dream of someone carrying me… It was Jason… But I couldn’t force myself to wake up.


	11. ~9.15~

I woke up quickly when I realized I wasn’t in the air mattress anymore. I sat bolt upright, my eyes searching the room for any detail or hint as to where I was. On my right was the fully-windowed wall of Jason’s room, covered in dark curtains that let only a small strip of sunlight in. On my left was the expanse of the other half of Jason’s room, nearly empty except for the bed I was lying on. And at the foot of Jason’s bed — was Jason.

 

My fists clenched as I realized I hadn’t been having a dream last night. Jason had carried me to his bed and taken my place on the air mattress. He was trying to play the moral high ground game again. It was getting incredibly irritating to be shown up by a guy who’s shot more people than I could ever dream of, especially when he’d taken me hostage and away from my group.

 

I ground my teeth, holding back the urge to smother him with a pillow. He was vulnerable asleep, but trying to suffocate him would definitely wake him up. Jason was a lot stronger than me, whether I liked to face the fact or not. And even if I managed to at least knock him out for a while, I would still have five more guys to deal with on my way out.

 

Why was Jason trying to screw with me? I kept asking myself the same question every time he did something like this, but still came up with no answer. He already had me here; what more could he want? Why did he want me here in the first place?

 

I sighed and threw myself back onto the pillows, trying not to notice how well I fell into the spot Jason had worn into the mattress from sleeping in the same place. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, brooding over Jason’s actions.

 

He thought he was winning — he knew he was. I couldn’t let him, not if I was going to establish my place in this house as a force to be reckoned with. I had to do something, and I knew what it was. My thoughts diverted to other methods, none as effective as the first, but I still scrambled for another option.

 

But there wasn’t another option. I had to beat Jason at his own game — play the nice girl for a while. It made me feel sick to even think about being kind to Jason, but I was sure it had the same effect on him. But being kind wasn’t enough, not to beat him. I had to make him think I was being genuine, but even more than that… I just didn’t know what.

 

I sat up, fought the strong pull to chuck a pillow at him, and climbed out of the bed. I snagged my duffel on the way to the bathroom and shut the door, double checking that the lock was in place. After that, I showered quickly and began to pull on a pair of my dark jeans, but stopped with one leg in.

 

The clothes Jason had bought me were still sitting next to his bed, untouched. I winced at the thought of accepting something he’d bought for me, but playing the game meant playing the part — however repulsive.

 

I pulled my leg out of my jeans and wrapped the towel I’d used around my body instead. Slowly, I unlocked the bathroom door and peeked into the room. Jason was still asleep on the air mattress, at least as far as I could tell. The four bags were sitting along the wall, almost overflowing with clothes. I sighed, then quickly padded over to them. As quietly as I could, I grabbed two in each hand while attempting to hold my towel up, then strode back into the bathroom. I closed the door with my hip and dropped the bags, then relocked the door. Drawing in a deep breath, I reached for the nearest heap of clothes.

 

The first thing I pulled out was a pale purple tank with golden swirls along the bottom. It was a nice top, but didn’t fit my taste. I tossed it to the side, then came up with a brown-and-white crop top. Aside from the fact it ended above my navel, I actually found myself liking the top. I rolled my eyes as myself and tugged it on over my head. It fit perfectly. I found a pair of light blue high waisted jeans in the middle of the bag and pulled them on; they sat perfectly on my legs as well, and were exceptionally comfortable.

 

I looked at myself in the mirror above the sink and immediately wrinkled my nose. My body was covered in things that belonged to Jason, and I hated it. I tossed my wet hair over my shoulder and rubbed my eyes, trying to calm myself. At the moment, I was too worked up to act the way I needed to. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d ever be calm enough around Jason to play the party completely.

 

I bent down and shoved the clothes I’d dragged out back into the bags, then pushed all four against the wall. Kicking my duffel next to them, I unlocked the door and took one more breath before turning the nob and pushing out into the room.

 

Jason was up, sitting on the edge of the air mattress with his head in his hands. His chest was bare, and his bottom half was covered by a pair of loose sweatpants. His biceps tensed as he rubbed his eyes, and I saw his abdominal muscles contract before he looked up at me. He gave me a twice-over, his eyes lingering around my waist, then met my eyes.

 

“You’re wearing what I bought you,” he said, a hint of a question in his tone.

 

I shrugged, putting on a fake half-smile. “They fit nicely.” I clasped my hands in front of me and shifted my weight from foot to foot.

 

Jason rose an eyebrow. I ignored it.

 

“I’m in the mood for french toast,” I said absently, turning on my toes and shuffling toward the door. “What about you?”

 

I reached for the door handle and pulled it open, then looked over my shoulder at him. He was given me a calculating look, obviously skeptical of my lack of hostility. I rolled my eyes.

 

“Aren’t you sick of take out and left overs?” I asked innocently. “I know I am. I’ll make extra.”

 

With that, I slid out the door and made my way to the kitchen. The clock on the wall told me it was around eleven, and Leo was just coming up from downstairs. He yawned loudly, then looked at me.

 

“I thought you freaked out when Jason got you clothes,” he said. “He must have hid your others.”

 

I shrugged. “I like them,” I answered.

 

Leo knew I was lying as soon as I’d said it — I could tell by the look he gave me. But I knew that if I didn’t act the same way toward everyone, Jason would figure out soon enough I was trying to play his game instead of making a turn around.

 

“I’m making breakfast,” I said, brushing past him and to the fridge.

 

I pulled out a carton of eggs, then moved to the pantry to grab a loaf of bread. The guys had apparently restocked the fridge and pantry overnight when they figured out I could cook, because I found cinnamon in the cupboard above the stove. They didn’t usually have things like that around here, especially when they ate carry out ninety-nine percent of the time.

 

“What is it?” Leo asked, coming to stand beside me at the stove.

 

“French toast,” I told him as I tossed a slice of butter into a pan. I reached across Leo’s vision to grab a bowl, then set it on the counter. “Do me a favor and crack three eggs in there.”

 

Leo did as I asked while I got out a carton of milk, then mixed the eggs and milk together. I dipped slices of bread into the mix, then slapped them onto the pan to cook for a few minutes. Ten minutes later I had a plate full of french toast on the island, and was sprinkling cinnamon onto them when Grant came from upstairs.

 

Leo picked a couple slices and dug right in while Grant grabbed a paper plate. “Since when did you start cooking extra for us?”

I shrugged. “Since I decided carry out every night wasn’t healthy.”

 

He paused and I almost smacked myself. “Since when have you cared about our health?”

 

I tried to play it off as a joke. “Notice how the fridge got filled when I started cooking. I didn’t want to eat your left overs, and if cooking means I get to eat what I want…” I trailed off, gauging his reaction. I had to play my part, and I had to play it well.

 

When Grant just shrugged and started eating, I sighed quietly. What I’d said hadn’t entirely been a lie, so it probably hadn’t shown in my face. I sat back against the counter and watched the two of them, not feeling hungry just yet. They both absent-mindedly moved toward the table as they finished their meals, leaving their plates in front of them as they sat down.

 

“You didn’t come down pissed at Jason today,” Leo said, directed at me.

 

I saw this as my chance to actually start truly playing my part.

 

“I don’t see a point in being angry all the time,” I answered with a shrug. “Not anymore, at least. I’m stuck here until Jason’s say-so; why spend however long that will be mad every waking hour?”

 

Leo’s expression was dumbfounded, and Grant actually turned around in his chair to look at me in disbelief. I cursed inwardly — maybe that was a little much for the first day. They both cocked an eyebrow, waiting for me to say something, probably along the lines of “Just kidding!”.

 

I turned away to hide a look exasperation, and moved to grab a paper plate for myself. “Close your mouths,” I said. “You’ll look smarter.”

 

“That sounds just a little bit more like you,” Grant spoke. I turned after grabbing a plate in time to see his skeptical look fade a little. “I was about to ask if you felt okay.”

 

My temper spiked a little at his words. He didn’t know me; no one in this house knew me, and never would. But I held my neutral look and put a slice of french toast on the plate for myself, then leaned back against the counter. Grant and Leo gave me one last glance before turning and talking loudly about some kind of weapon.

 

Five minutes later, Jason strode into the kitchen.

 

I looked at him, careful to hold a calm expression. I’d gotten so used to glaring at him whenever he came within thirty feet of me that I had to force myself to remember. He was wearing dark jeans and a gray-and-white baseball tee. His eyes glanced at my face, giving me the same calculating look I’d received not twenty minutes before.

 

Jason spotted the breakfast I’d made on the counter. He looked at it for a long moment, long enough that I thought he wasn’t going to grab any.

 

“I didn’t poison it,” I said nonchalantly. “Leo and Grant ate it, and they’re not dead.”

 

Jason narrowed his eyes slightly, then turned to Grant and Leo. “Don’t you two have something better to do than just sit there?” he spoke sharply.

 

Leo opened his mouth to say something but Grant shot him a look and stood. He grabbed Leo’s are and pulled him out of the kitchen and downstairs. A few seconds later I heard the garage door open and close, and Jason and I were alone in silence.

 

I glanced at him, then brushed past to get the two paper plates they’d left behind and threw them away. Doing my best to act oblivious to Jason’s scrutinizing glare, I strode toward the sink to wash my hands. But half way there, Jason’s arm shot out and grabbed my forearm. I covered my jump of surprise by bouncing on the balls of my feet.

 

“Can I help you?” I asked, shifting my weight from foot to foot. I looked up at his face, hard and mistrusting. His brow pulled together, a sign of him thinking hard.

 

“What are you playing at?” he asked.

 

I shrugged. “I’m not playing,” I answered. “In fact, I—“

 

“Don’t bullshit me, Phoebe,” he nearly growled.

 

I didn’t have to feign surprise at this response. He was getting worked about me being kind for once? Granted, I was bullshitting my way through this, and my goal was to win his game… But wouldn’t the change of character pull him into thinking it was nice at first? I hadn’t expected him to react this way so soon; I was already winning the game, judging by this encounter.

 

“I’ve had a change of heart,” I told him. I smiled. “Why be angry all the time when I can’t change that a douche bag took me hostage and won’t let me leave?”

 

I kicked myself for letting that comment slip when the corner of Jason’s mouth tugged upward. After that, he definitely knew I was playing his game. But even so, I was still set on winning; but there was still something more I needed, I just couldn’t put a finger on it.

 

“I’m looking forward to seeing how long this will last,” Jason sneered. There wasn’t a trace of the kind Jason I’d seen the past few days, obviously because he’d been putting on a face. “I won’t bet an hour — hell, I won’t bet ten minutes.”

 

I put on my best smile and blinked heavily at him. Then I got on my tiptoes, so I was almost nose to nose with Jason. I inwardly cringed, but didn’t show it in my face. “Enjoy it while it lasts, McCann.”

 

Something changed in his face as I remained the same distance from his face. His breath became ragged and I recognized the look right away. I turned away, making my way out of the kitchen as quickly as I could without jogging. He didn’t say anything as I collapsed into my usual bean bag, and I didn’t hear him for the next hour until a paper plate dropped into the waste bin and the garage door opened and closed.

 

Jason had gone, but the look had stayed in my mind all the while. That look he gave me… It was the one he’d given me right before he’d kissed me. The expression had left him devoid of all emotion except one…

 

I held in a scoff when I realized I knew what it meant. It was the same kind of look Tyler had given me before we started dating — desire, need… But what did that mean for Jason? How could he look at me like that? Was that just acting, too?

 

I shook my head. No, it couldn’t be. The look was too genuine to be acting. I bit my lip and thought harder, trying to fill in the missing piece. If Jason looked at me so real like that — with want, with desire — that meant something was going on inside him that I hadn’t picked up. I was repulsed at the thought of him having feelings for me, would never have wished for it. But if that were the case…

 

Suddenly, I snapped my fingers and sat straight up. I knew what the missing piece of my puzzle was.

 

I didn’t have to tear Jason down from the start. The higher up he was, the more painful the fall off his pedestal would be. I would build him up, make him think about things that weren’t real. I would do it so well, he wouldn’t know he was getting knocked off his high-horse until he’d already hit the ground. I shivered at the thought of a broken Jason McCann.

 

My body settled back into the bean bag and I resumed watching the ceiling fan, already writing out scenarios in my head. This would probably work; but if it didn’t, no harm done at all. But deep down, I knew I’d hit the jackpot with my idea, no matter how far I had to go. If Jason broke, I could find a way out while he was vulnerable. Yes, it was perfect!

 

I was going to make Jason fall for me.


	12. ~9.18~

    It had been two days since I’d figured out how to win Jason’s game, but I hadn’t gotten anywhere significant.

 

    I’d been wearing the clothes Jason had bought me; I was a little frustrated that I liked the style.  Every morning and night since Tuesday I’d made the guys a meal, making sure to throw a smile in Jason’s direction.  When I woke up (still in Jason’s bed after his refusal to let me sleep on the air mattress) I wasn’t hostile—I had even said a “good morning” the day before.

 

    When I thought about it, three days wasn’t a long time when I was trying to get someone like Jason to like me.  I’d been snarky and antagonistic since they’d dragged me in and thrown me into the basement; not without reason, of course.  It would take a while to see a change in Jason.

 

    But all the while, I was wondering where Tyler and Sam were.  I would’ve expected they’d have figured something out by now.  If all else failed, wouldn’t they just result to forcing their way in?  Tyler knew I’d at least do that for him.  Then again, I didn’t always think things through in their entirety before acting.  The point was that I felt abandoned, after thirteen days at Jason’s place.

 

    I shook my head as I sat back in my bean bag chair, watching at the ceiling fan as always.  It was around three, and I was alone in the house with Leo and Grant.  I hadn’t spoken to either of them since the night before, which felt like forever when all I did was sit and stare at an inanimate object.  They were both keeping their distance because I could tell they knew I was bluffing.  By the way I was acting, I didn’t know how anyone else couldn’t see it as well—they most likely just hadn’t said anything because I was making food and acting less annoying.  It was almost painful for me to be kind to Jason, but somehow it’d gotten better.

 

    Leo shuffled into the room from the staircase and glanced my way.  I smiled at him out of habit, probably a little too enthusiastically.  He rolled his eyes and kept walking, though I saw the corners of his mouth twitch upward.

 

    “You don’t have to play that bullshit nice-girl act when Jason isn’t here,” he said as he moved into the kitchen area.  “Grant and I both know you’re just trying to screw with him.”

 

    I almost let out a sigh of relief.  “It’s good to know even  _you_  aren’t that thick,” I said.  I sat up, watching where he’d been a few seconds ago.  Hesitating with my next question, I drummed my fingers on my leg.  “Is it working?”

 

    Leo snorted.  “I don’t know.  Jason doesn’t usually tell me about how he’s feeling.”

 

    I huffed and folded my hands, dropping my eyes to the ground.  If Jason hadn’t shown any notable signs of change, I wasn’t working hard enough.  I just needed one breakthrough, one of his desires, and it would be smooth sailing for me.  Granted, I didn’t know how much energy Jason invested into the emotional aspects of his life, but this seemed better than any other option I could come up with.

 

    I’d been quiet for about a minute when Leo spoke again.

 

    “There was this one girl,” he said absentmindedly.  “Her name was Leah.  She was hot, no doubt about it.  And she was nice,” Leo added after I cleared my throat loudly.  “Jason met her at a party—one we were supposed to be crashing, actually.  But one look at her and the plan disappeared; two hours later they were up in Jason’s room, making a lot of noise.”  He paused, and I didn’t know whether his laugh was out of lack of comfort or actual humor.  “He was starry-eyed for days.  They ended up having a fling for a month or two, then one day she up and leaves.  Jason wasn’t the same for weeks.”

 

    I thought about this for a few seconds.  From that, it sounded like I had been wrong—Jason invested a lot of energy into things like that.  But maybe now it was different, after her, because whoever Leo was talking about didn’t seem like Jason.  But what Jason had been doing for me, even when I hadn’t decided to treat him nicely…  Leo’s story didn’t sound like a game.  Was Jason’s kindness a game?

 

    I mentally shook myself.  Of course it was.  This was exactly what he wanted—he wanted me to overthink things.

 

    “How long ago was that?” I asked.

 

    Leo didn’t speak for a few seconds.  “April, I think, is when he started acting normal again.  There hasn’t been anyone he’s shown particular interest in, let alone allowed into the house.  You’re the first girl of Jason’s since Leah to see the inside of this place.”

 

    My annoyance spiked.  “I’m not  _Jason’s_ ,” I nearly hissed as I stood abruptly.  If that’s what Jason saw me as, the gig was up.  I was done playing this game if he saw me as an obedient piece of property.

 

    Leo walked into the living room.  “That’s not what I meant,” he sighed.  “You’re the first girl Jason himself has brought into the house.  He’s not one to view people as property.”

 

    I sneered.  “Except when he saves their life.   _Then_  he can treat you like shit.”

 

    He grimaced.  “It’s different for me.  I actually owe him.  But girls— _you_ —he’s better than that.  You’ve seen yourself; those clothes he bought you?” he gestured to the loose gray tank and black leggings I wore.  “Jason wasn’t trying to screw with you then.”

 

    I bit my lip.  “I don’t believe you.”

 

    Leo held up his hands.  “You don’t have to.  I’m just trying to tell you that for some reason, Jason sees you differently.”

 

    My chest squeezed and filled with warmth, and I almost made a noise of disgust at myself.  The fact that I was special to Jason McCann shouldn’t have been flattering in the least.  I should’ve been even more repulsed, but I couldn’t force myself to feel that way.

 

    Contrary to what I was feeling, I said, “He probably sees me as some way to bargain territory and money with Markus.  That’s all the meaning I have to him.”  For some reason, the thought that I didn’t mean more than that to Jason bothered me.

 

    “Think what you want,” Leo said, turning back to walk toward the table.  “You don’t have to listen to me.  But I do have to admit, you don’t bring the room down as much when you’re acting.”

 

    I dropped back into my bean bag and listened as Leo rummaged around in the fridge.  The sound of glass clinking hit my ears and I closed my eyes, taking several deep breaths.  My conversation with Leo meant nothing; I would still have to get Jason to fall for me.  But I knew how to do it quicker from Leo’s story.  My heartbeat quickened and my stomach knotted as I thought about it.

 

    To take my mind off of it, I asked Leo, “What do you want for dinner?”

 

    “You’re asking me?” he chuckled.  I glanced at him in time to watch him open a can of soda.  “Since when have you asked on opinions for meals?”

 

    I shrugged.  “Since you called my bluff, but didn’t snitch.  We’ll watch out for each other.”  I smiled, genuine this time, but I knew better than to completely trust one of Jason’s guys.  Leo was the nicest on the surface, but he wasn’t the brightest, nor the most loyal.

 

    Leo returned the smile.  “In that case, how about spaghetti?”

 

    I cocked an eyebrow.  “Why such a simple dish?  I can make a killer lo mein dish and you choose spaghetti.”

 

    The corners of his mouth twitched.  “I haven’t had homemade spaghetti since my mom died when I was sixteen.”

 

    My expression dropped, caught completely off guard.  The way he’d said it, I could tell he missed her.  I couldn’t pretend I knew what it felt like to have a mother, but I knew it hurt to have someone torn from your life.  My chest ached for him, but I collected myself and stood.

 

    “Homemade spaghetti it is,” I said.  “It’ll be the best damn pasta you’ve ever had.”

 

    Leo smiled.  “Thanks, Phoebe.”

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

    Three hours later I was pouring a steaming pot of angel hair noodles into a strainer.  The vapor bit at my hands but I ignored it, and set the pot back on the stove a few seconds later.  Meat sauce was cooking and almost finished, and I stirred it gently before returning to the noodles and pouring them into a serving bowl.

 

    The smell of garlic bread filled my nose, a request I’d made for Blondie or whoever did the shopping.  I turned off a timer as Grant walked into the kitchen with his hands in his pockets.  I pulled out a drawer and grabbed a knife, then set it out on the counter next to the bread.  Closing the door with my hip, I nodded at it.

 

    “Mind helping me cut up the bread?”  Grant shrugged and picked up the knife.  I turned back to the sauce while he cut.  

 

    I hadn’t had the same conversation with Grant as I’d had with Leo, and it showed.  Grant was still unsure of me, edging around me like he didn’t know what I was playing at quite yet.  He didn’t ask, though, so I didn’t tell.

 

    “I hope you’re planning on making more,” Grant said absently.

 

    I cocked an eyebrow.  “My cooking is just that great?”

 

    He shook his head.  “Jason’s party is tonight.  He said he’s opening doors around eight.”

 

    I almost groaned.  I’d forgotten about it completely, pushing it out of my mind to focus on how I was treating Jason.  The party didn’t really change much of the schedule, but it was an annoyance I could do without.

 

    “I don’t have enough time to cook for that many people,” I sighed, pulling the pan of sauce off the stove and onto a cooling pad.  “You’ll have to run out for more food, not to mention alcohol.”  My eyes traveled around the kitchen.  “You have a surprisingly bare stash of booze.”

 

    Grant shrugged.  “Among all the shit we do, drinking isn’t really one of them.  But Jason sent Lucas out for some, and Xander is out getting other food.”

 

    I turned and pulled out a bowl from one of the cabinets.  “I haven’t seen Carter in a while.  Where’s he been?”

 

    “Don’t know,” he replied, cutting the last slice of bread.  “He disappears sometimes.  Pisses Jason off, but he always manages to make it back before things get ugly.”

 

    I nodded.  “Sounds like Emmett.”

 

    Grant gave me a fleeting glance before setting the knife down and taking the bowl from my outstretched hand.  He watched the counter intently while he spoke his next few words.

 

    “Why haven’t you been talking about them lately?”

 

    I blinked.  “Who?”

 

    “Your gang,” he said impatiently.  “All of the sudden, you flipped on a switch, and just like that you stop complaining and are actually not painful to be around.”

 

    The corners of my mouth twitched upward.  “It looks like I’m screwing with you more than I am Jason.”

 

    A forced breath left Grant’s mouth.  “So  _that’s_ what this is about.  I have to admit, it might’ve worked if Jason had a weaker mind.  Let me tell you right now that just being nice won’t throw him off enough to get what you want.”

 

    I folded my arms.  “How do you know what I want?”

 

    Grant rolled his eyes.  “You want exactly what your brother, or Markus, or anyone around you wants—you want to destroy Jason.”

 

    I didn’t speak, and he took my silence as confirmation.  He placed the bowl on the island and walked toward the table, then fell back into one of the chairs.

 

    “You’ll have to try a hell of a lot harder to get anywhere near wounding him,” Grant said.

 

    My hands found the counter and squeezed hard.  “What about Leah?  Didn’t that screw with him?”

 

    He snorted.  “Who told you about that?  Leo?”  When I didn’t reply, Grant shook his head.  “Leah was a phase.  Jason is propelled mainly by lust, but after Leah he didn’t choose to indulge on much else.  He wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.”  After seeing the exasperated expression on my face, he sighed.  “Leo also probably told you you’re the first girl Jason’s invited in—well, you get the point—since then.  It’s true, but personally I don’t think you should think much of that.”

 

    I held up my hand.  “I’m not having this conversation with you,” I told him curtly.

 

    Truthfully, I was frustrated that Grant was contradicting Leo, or maybe it was the other way around.  I wanted Leo to be right; I wanted Jason to have a weakness, not a life lesson.  I  _needed_  this way to wound him.

 

    Grant shrugged.  “Whatever.  Good luck with whatever you’re trying.  Just know this: when Jason’s hosting a party, shit gets serious.  This is his place, and people play by his rules or not at all.  His ties are important to him, and he doesn’t like being interrupted or embarrassed.”

 

    I nodded a sarcastic thanks as he stood and left the room.  Behind me I heard the sauce sizzling a little, and turned to stir it and pour it into a separate bowl.  As I set the empty pan into the sink,  I thought hard about what both Grant and Leo had said.

 

    There wasn’t a doubt about the fact that Leah had been a setback for a period of time.  At least that part was easy.  But what wasn’t easy was how Leo had said I had some sort of meaning to Jason, but Grant had said not to think anything of it.

 

    A wave of ache settled in the pit of my stomach against my will.  For some reason, I actually  _wanted_  to mean something to him.  No matter how hard I tried to push that thought out of my mind, it wouldn’t go away.

 

    My only consolation was that I was going to force myself to mean something to Jason, even though he meant nothing to me.  Then I could take him down from the inside, and go back to Tyler and Sam and the rest of my group.

 

    I glanced at the clock.  It was about half-past six, almost exactly an hour and a half before eight.  I knew people wouldn’t even start showing up until at least nine-thirty, seeing as dark didn’t hit until somewhere around then.  Figuring I had enough time to feed a couple guys and myself, clean up, prepare more food, and get dressed, I pulled a few bowls out from the cabinets.  I called Leo and Grant down and they ate quickly, Leo collapsing in front of the TV and Grant disappearing into his room after they’d finished.

 

    “Was it any good?” I asked him from the table as I grabbed his empty bowl.

 

    Leo rubbed his stomach.  “That was really good, Phoebe.  Like,  _really_  good.  Thanks for making it.”

 

    I smiled.  “No problem.”

 

    With that, I turned and began to wash dishes at the sink.  A few minutes later the garage door opened and Xander thumped up the stairs, dropping several bags of food he’d gotten on the island.  He gave me a small grunt of recognition and I nodded at him—it was possibly the least hostile exchange we’d ever had, but he headed upstairs without hardly pausing.

 

    I looked into the bags and sifted through the platters and boxes among them.  All of them fit in the fridge easily, and I put the rest of the dishes I’d cleaned away after putting the dry food into the pantry.

 

    I realized grudgingly that now Xander was back and I had to put my act on again.  Sighing, I stuffed the empty plastic bags into the wastebasket and slid into a seat at the table.  My eyes found Leo, lying back in a bean bag with his eyes closed and his arm over his chest.  He looked peaceful—I wished I could be as easy going as him, but given my current circumstances, it was hard.

 

    Drawing in a breath, I envisioned the party tonight.  There would be loud music and the lights would be turned down.  A thick cloud of sunk-y smelling smoke would hang over everyone, the product of joints in almost everyone’s hand.  Empty beer cans would litter the floors and counters, and a either a drinking game or poker would be going on where I sat at the kitchen table.  Girls—cheap prostitutes, most likely—would be hanging around ever alpha male in this place.  Jason included.

 

    I cursed under my breath.  I’d have to work tonight to get Jason alone, or to at least stick close to him.  Girls threw themselves at him.  Even though I most certainly wasn’t one of them, I’d have to shove a few out of the way to get by his side.  But maybe it would be easy.  After all, I  _was_  the first girl he’d brought into the house after Leah…

 

    Blinking, I shook the thought from my head.  I didn’t mean that much to Jason, as much as I didn’t want to believe it.  He’d probably pay more attention to his drug deals and ties than anything else, like Grant had said.  Plus, if all else failed, I slept in the same room as him.

 

    The garage door slammed shut downstairs and brought me out of my thoughts.  I turned around in time to see Blondie enter the room with three bags on each arm, straining to make it to the island.  Instead of lifting them to the surface of the counter, he let the down right next to it.  I glanced at the bags and estimated about ten cartons of beer, four carriers of wine coolers, and three large bottles of vodka between the six sacks.  Blondie rubbed his hands on his pant legs, breathing a little harder than normal.

 

    “These need to go in the fridge, or cooler, or something,” he said, directed at me.

 

    I suppressed the spike of annoyance that went through me, not even clenching my teeth.  With Blondie, I was getting good at portraying a character.  “Alright.  Is there enough for the party tonight?”

 

    He shrugged as he walked past.  “Probably not.  They’ll bring more when they come.”

 

    And with that, he disappeared behind the door of his room, the only room on this floor.  I rolled my eyes and took up one of the bags.  Straining a little, I lugged it over to the fridge and opened the door.  There was a perfect spot for the bag at the bottom, and I slid it in.  The other two bags followed, a little tighter fitting to the space.

 

    “Leo?” I called into the living room.

 

    “Yeah?” he replied, his voice sounding groggy.

 

    “When will Jason be back?”

 

    A pause.  “He mentioned sometime around seven.”

 

    By now it was around six-thirty, and Jason would be home soon.  I dusted my hands off, walked through the living room and gave Leo a quick  _thanks_ , then jogged up the stairs and into Jason’s room.  I strode toward Jason’s bed and flopped onto it, trying to ignore the smell of Jason on the sheets.

 

    My plan for tonight was simple.  I just had to keep catching Jason when he wasn’t surrounded by any girls.  I would be difficult to find those times, but I had to at least get by his side a couple times.  Nearly gagging on the thought, I decided I should probably be a little physical with him—only putting my arm around him or something like that, of course.  It seemed easy…  Enough.

 

    I flipped over and rubbed my eyes with the heel of my palms.  I could do this, I knew I could.  And if all else failed, there was still a party I could try to enjoy.  Maybe playing my cards right could get me out of here.


	13. ~9.18...2~

I didn’t come down until the sky had been black outside of Jason’s window and bass had been vibrating the floor for three hours. The lights were off downstairs, but several colored lights and strobes that people had brought were lighting up a majority of the space. People were crowding in the middle of the living room where they’d set up a makeshift dance floor and had kicked the beanbags to the wall. Several empty cups had already been discarded to the side, and the room smelled like skunk. My nose wrinkled, recognizing the pot smell.

 

I stood at the top of the stairs, wearing another of Jason’s outfits. A royal blue dress was slung over my left shoulder and wrapped snuggly around my middle before falling loosely to just above my knees. Black suede wedges that laced up my foot were giving my about three inches — Jason had probably taken my size from my boots — and a leather bracelet brushed against the base of my thumb. My hair fell down my back in waves, something I was thankful for having naturally. Somehow I’d found makeup in my duffel, leftover from some trip I’d taken a long time ago, so my eyes were dark and my lips were a muted red.

 

I only waited a few seconds before making my way down the stairs. My eyes were searching for Jason, but I couldn’t find him in the living room. He was probably at the table playing beer pong, knowing him.

 

The people around me were dancing clumsily, but in the middle were just a notch short of screwing each other. I almost laughed. This was the stereotypical high school party, something I didn’t expect from Jason. I honestly thought that there would’ve been an air like the parties I went to with Tyler, a little less teen dancing and a little more business. But looking around at the people bumping into me, I noticed that all of them looking old enough to be graduating or have already graduated. Maybe they were just the type of people Jason drew.

 

I was about to step into the kitchen when I felt a hand on my waist.

 

I spun around, ready to hit whoever it was, when I realized that I still had to play this dumb little game of Jason’s. My temper had to calm, and I had to act like I enjoyed being here. One of the parts of that was playing along at parties.

 

“Hey,” the guy said, pulling my toward him. He was about a head taller than me and had well-groomed chocolate hair that matched his eyes. From his looks he seemed about twenty and looked like an accomplished track athlete. “I haven’t seen you around here before. All these faces, and the only one I haven’t seen is yours.”

 

I gave him a quick smile. “Not from around here.”

 

“I figured,” he replied, leaning close to my ear. I side-smile glanced across his features. “I would’ve remembered you.”

 

I cleared my throat loudly. It wasn’t that I couldn’t hold my own around other guys, it was just that Tyler had always taken care of them for me. When Tyler was around, no one ever approached me, and there wasn’t usually a time when I didn’t have him beside me. I felt uncomfortable, and did a poor job of hiding it.

 

“I need a drink,” I said, hoping to sound dismissive, but the guy squeezed my waist as his expression brightened.

 

“Wait right here,” he told me. He leaned in fast and whispered into my ear, “I’ll get us something.”

 

Before I could protest he brushed past me, brushing his hand over my bare shoulder as he walked away. I bit my lip and stood dumbly for a second, then mentally shook myself. As casually as I could, I took the longest path I could around to the kitchen table, hoping to avoid the guy. Glancing back where I had stood, I saw him looking around for me and made a mental note to steer clear of him.

 

I turned back to where I was headed. A ring of people two rows thick was around the kitchen table. My feet took me over to it, stepping over empty cans and bottles on the way. When I reached the group I looked over the shoulder of a girl in front of me who wore a dress so short I thought it was a shirt and seemed to radiate the smell of alcohol. Sure enough, Jason was sat at the head of the table with a pair of cards in his hand.

 

My eyes trailed to the middle of the table where a pool of cash and small possessions sat in a heap. A ring of car keys caught my glance and I snorted. Some idiot hadn’t brought enough cash to play, a bad move on his part. You lost more than you gained in poker. Judging by the empty cans in front of each player, they weren’t even aware they were about to lose.

 

I looked back at Jason. He didn’t look up from his cards as he tossed in several chips. I couldn’t hear the clink of the pieces over the bass throbbing in my ears. My fingers fumbled with the tool-like material of my dress as I watched Jason. A crease was forming between his eyebrows and concentration riddled his face. I bit the inside of my cheek and dropped my hands to my sides.

 

Internally, I was fighting a battle. I needed to make a move on Jason, but Grant had told me that Jason meant business during parties. Did that mean his act fell off when he was gambling? It had seemed so when I’d tried to bargain my way out, but that’d been only a few days into my stay here. He wouldn’t have started playing his mind game so soon. If I showed up here with my act, he’d have to bring his. 

 

I was about to make my way toward him when a girl who looked nineteen stepped up to Jason. She wore heels nearly twice as tall as mine with a skin-tight white dress that only left her tan lines to the imagination. Her hair was pulled into a high bun and I could hardly see her eyes because of her dark makeup. She bent over, sticking her butt out more than needed, to whisper something in Jason’s ear with a smirk. I saw the corner of his mouth twitch and I felt my blood boil.

 

I couldn’t believe it bothered me so much. It was probably the fact that her interfering could throw off the whole night I’d planned on messing with his head. I took a deep breath and stepped back, trying to think of some way to get her away from him. My eyes searched the room, crowded to the point where I didn’t think it could comfortably hold more people. I could say someone was looking for her, but that would be hard to convince her without someone looking. Smoothing my dress, I turned back to look at Jason.

 

The girl was now sitting on top of Jason, his arms around her waist to hold his cards. His chin was resting on her shoulder and she wore a satisfied smile. I had to bite my tongue to stop from screaming in frustration. My eyes widened, incredibly surprised with myself. Why was this girl bothering me so much?

 

I had to step again. A few seconds later I realized I hadn’t talked to Leo since I’d gone upstairs. I needed to find him — he could cool me down. Jason would have him doing something dumb, something no one else wanted to do. The door; he was probably running the door.

 

My feet carried me through the kitchen and down the stairs. A few people brushed past me but I ignored them and soon my heels tapped onto the tile floor.

 

My eyes immediately found the small screen next to the heavy door leading outside. It usually said ‘ARMED’ but I realized that it now said ‘DISARMED’. It made sense, since Jason was having a party, but my heart quickened. I could get out.

 

Leo appeared in the doorframe in a jacket and dark jeans, despite the heat the summer still had. I could see the outline of a hand gun inside his jacket and the corners of my mouth twitched upward.

 

“You should tuck it into your jeans in the back,” I told him. He rose his eyebrows, studying me. “It’s too obvious in that pocket; tells them right where to go for it if they want to jump you. It’s easier to grab, too.”

 

He looked down and felt for the weapon, then quickly switched it to the place between his back and his jeans. After he pulled his jacket down over it, he stepped toward me and let the door closed behind him. Leo watched me carefully, more skeptical than usual. I was confused until I realized he was half-guarding the door.

 

“I’m not going to try to escape,” I rolled my eyes, though I felt my stomach drop with disappointment. “Not tonight.”

 

Leo relaxed a tiny bit. “What are you down here for then?” He shrugged. “Not much down here but the basement and the door.”

 

I sat down on the fourth stair and leaned against the wall. “I had to cool down. People make me angry.”

 

He nodded. “I know what you mean.”

 

I laughed a little. “I didn’t even get to the kitchen before I had a guy hitting on me.” I shook my head. “People are gross.”

 

Leo laughed. “Jason attracts a weird crowd. Gets us a lot of cash, though.”

 

I gave him a harsh look, reminded of the reason I’m even in Jason’s house. I couldn’t imagine the day I wouldn’t be bitter.

 

He seemed to catch what I was thinking and was quiet for a second, leaning against the door. The sudden surge of anger toward Jason jogged my memory as to why I came down here in the first place. I had to get that girl off of him, because chances were she wasn’t going to be gone after only a few minutes away. I stood.

 

“I’m going to head back up,” I told him. Leo nodded, and I made my way back into the kitchen.

 

I didn’t make it two steps before the guy from earlier was back.

 

“If I didn’t know any better,” he said slyly. “I’d say you just tried to avoid me for the past ten minutes.”

 

My insides dropped to my toes. I had to get this guy off of me, but I didn’t know how. I glanced over at the table and saw a flash of white dress still on Jason’s lap. An idea hit me, and I turned back to the guy.

 

“I didn’t catch your name,” I said, putting on a small smile.

 

He returned my grin with and even wider one. “Michael Davis. You are?”

 

I thought for a second about giving him a fake name, but couldn’t think of one in time. “Phoebe Lastings.”

 

Michael’s eyes widened. “No shit. Your brother and that Lebber guy tried to raid this place a couple weeks ago!”

 

I blinked. “Hold that thought.”

 

Without waiting for him to reply, I turned and walked over to behind Jason’s chair. Looking quickly, I noticed that Michael was still watching. Perfect. I bent down, just as the girl had, and moved my mouth close to her ear.

 

“Don’t look now,” I said softly. “But red shirt at ten o’clock is looking for you. He’s got a drink with your name on it.”

 

Her head turned and I could tell she was surprised, but the alcohol on her breath told me she would go with anything.

 

“Which one?” she whisper-shouted back to me. I watched Jason carefully, but he didn’t seem to notice I was talking with his wide-eyed lap dog.

 

Making sure Michael was still watching, I smiled. “The one that can’t keep his eyes off of you.”

 

Her head spun around, looking for him. It took her a couple seconds, but she found him and squealed. “He’s cute!”

 

“All the more reason to go for it,” I told her. “His name is Michael, by the way.”

 

She beamed at me. “Thanks, girly. Looking forward to that tonight!”

 

I blinked as she shot from Jason’s lap in a flash. Rolling my eyes, I looked down at an indifferent Jason. My eyebrow rose, trying to figure out what I should do with the current situation. If I didn’t replace where the girl had been, I knew some other whore at this party. Once again, the thought made me angry. My mind was made up, and I knew what I had to do to play the game.

 

I let the skirt of my dress brush over Jason’s lap and smiled slyly as I sat, leaning back against his chest. My hair fell off my shoulders, exposing my bare one as I crossed my legs. As if by reflex, Jason’s arms slid around my waist and grasped his cards. I didn’t think Jason knew it was me yet, since he was so focused on the game in front of him. I glanced at his cards, noticing his good hand, then lowered my voice.

 

“The last time we gambled, I signed up for a month in your room,” I said. The words spiked an annoyance in me, but had the effect I wanted when I felt him tense.

 

He recovered quickly, but said softly, “Didn’t think we’d ever end up it this position, Phoebe.”

 

I nearly shivered, but held my composure. “Never say die, Jason. I’m quite comfy.”

 

He chuckled, low and chilling. “The words that have come out of your mouth in the past few days — you’d think you actually liked being here.”

 

I turned my head so I was nose-to-nose with him. Our mouths were inches apart, too close for comfort, but I didn’t pull away. “Who said I couldn’t change my mind?”

 

Jason stopped moving for a long moment, watching my eyes carefully. He was looking for a waver, a sign that I was lying. I wasn’t going to give him any, because I was a good actor. When he’d finally decided something he wasn’t telling me, he continued to toss poker chips into the pile.

 

I sat watching the game for nearly an hour and a half when a new player joined. My arm was slung around Jason’s shoulder and I was fiddling with the collar of his shirt. I knew I shouldn’t have been content with where I was, but I couldn’t help but noticing how well I seemed to fit with Jason. The thought was quickly shaken from my mind.

 

“Buy-in is ten grand,” Jason told the newbie. His voice vibrated against my body and I breathed deeply, thankful for the clean air bubble around the kitchen table; Jason didn’t allow smoking while they played.

 

“I’ll take it.”

 

I looked up, surprised. The new player was Michael, with the girl in white no where to be found. I glanced around the party and couldn’t find her, but figured she was in the middle of the grind fest in the living room. My eyes found Michael and I noticed right away the intense stare he was giving me. I felt uncomfortable under his gaze and, as if by reflex, drew closer to Jason.

 

Michael tossed a roll of cash out onto the table and was handed a pair of cards, and they played on.

 

About half-way through the game, a guy looking about twenty-three approached Jason and said something in his ear. The music was still loud enough that I couldn’t hear what was being said, but I waited to say something until the guy left.

 

“What was that about?” I asked.

 

Jason glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. “A deal.”

 

I watched his expression for a second, then turned back to look at the table. Like Grant had said, I wasn’t getting much of a reaction out of Jason. He seemed more serious than I’d ever seen him — tense, almost. This was how Markus got when a big shipment was about to come in, and we didn’t have anywhere separate from the house to put it.

 

Again, Michael caught my eye. He was still looking at me, like he had been since he sat down. It was getting annoying, and I wanted him to leave.

 

As if on cue, his turn came and he laid his hand on the table. “I’m out. See you all at the next block party.”

 

He stood, his eyes on me, and walked around the table in Jason’s and my direction. It wasn’t until I felt him next to my ear that I tensed.

 

“I can tell you’re not fond of me, Lastings,” he said so only we could hear. “Sending another girl after me wasn’t nice. You’re a sweet girl, so I’ll give you another chance. Leave with me, and you’ll have the best night of your life.”

 

I got a weird chill from his words. Something about them didn’t seem right, and I scrambled for something to say. I let the first thing that came to mind leave my mouth.

 

“See, that wouldn’t be fair to Jason,” I said, loud enough for all three of us to hear. “I’m filling out a promise I made, and leaving tonight would just make it seem empty. Wouldn’t want that, right?”

 

I felt Jason’s arm tighten around my waist and got a weird fluttery feeling in my stomach. He leaned forward to see around me and laid eyes on Michael a second later.

 

“She’s with me,” he said. “If that weren’t obvious enough.”

 

I cursed at myself for enjoying the possessive tone in Jason’s voice. Adding to the effect, I leaned back into Jason’s chest. Michael’s face went from surprised to annoyed.

 

“I would’ve thought that you’d willingly leave the house of the guy who shot your best fighter,” he snapped. “Of course, that’s why you’re here, isn’t it? Your group took something from him, and he did the same. To McCann, you’re just an object; but not to me.”

 

“Fuck off,” Jason barked. “Feel free to continue on your path to the door.”

 

I didn’t react as Michael scowled, gave me one last look, then walked away. All that he’d said was true, and I felt numb. What was I even doing here? I could’ve forced my way out the way I almost had that first day here. Leo was easy to overpower, even for me. I didn’t have to play this dumb game with Jason. I could’ve tried to leave with Michael, I could’ve acted how angry I really was and not worked so hard to convince Jason I was happy. Yet why did I still play? Why was I still here?

 

I stole a look at Jason, expecting to have to hide anger. But as I watched his hazel eyes find mine, the strongest feeling I had was confusion. The confusion wasn’t even caused by him — my own thoughts were.

 

We watched each other for a long moment, both unblinking. I had never looked at his face in such detail before, but now that I was I noticed all off the creases in his expression. I knew they were from stress and hardship, because Sam bore the same marks. Almost without realizing it, I came to the conclusion that Jason was more like my brother than either of them wanted to admit. Granted, I didn’t know if Jason had been raised by his uncle and handed off to a gang at 12, but I knew how hard growing up in that situation was and all of the energy you can spend trying to control things.

 

I felt sympathetic, I felt frustration, and I felt loneliness. Up until this point, I hadn’t realized that every emotion I’d experienced had been caused — driven, even — by loneliness. Everyone had been so angry to see me go, but so far I couldn’t tell if they’d even lifted a finger to get me out. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

 

As I opened my mouth to say something, I realized I didn’t have anything to say. Jason watched me closer, hoping to pull my thoughts from my head. And as I felt his grip on my waist become tighter, I realized that all of this — all of the things I thought he’d done to screw with me — probably hadn’t been meant for that. Granted, I couldn’t read Jason’s mind; I couldn’t tell what he was actually thinking. But the way he was looking at me now, my stomach was fluttering almost out of control.

 

And I remembered how it felt when he’d kissed me, how I’d been stuck with sensation of it for longer than I maybe would’ve liked. It was something that stayed with me as I fell asleep, like I’d been missing for so long…

 

It happened before I could stop myself.

 

My arms wrapped around his neck and I pushed my mouth against his, feeling his surprise turn quickly to seriousness. Immediately I was hit with the tingling, but it was just my mouth this time. I felt it all over with his arms around me, and my judgement fogged over.

 

I deepened the kiss, pulling myself tighter to him. He reacted the same way by wrapping both of his arms around me. Suddenly the blaring music wasn’t so loud and everyone around us wasn’t really there. When I moved to straddle Jason, he propped his arms under my legs and stood up.

 

“Shut it down,” he mumbled against my lips to someone I couldn’t see, then began walking from the table.

 

Before I knew it, I felt Jason climbing the stairs and I knew where we were headed — his room. But for some reason, I didn’t care. I held our kiss, pulling apart every so often for air. After a few seconds, Jason shoved his door open with his foot and walked to the bed, still unmade from when I got up this morning.

 

My back pressed against the mattress and my hands found Jason’s hair, tugging lightly as he found my hips. I felt him push me further onto the bed and lift himself on top of me, sinking between my legs. Our breathing was heavy and fast as I swept my arms under the hem of his shirt, feeling the muscles of his abdomen flex under my fingers. His own hands found their way under my dress and pressed against the small of my back.

 

I’d never had sex before. The topic had come up several times, but truthfully I’d avoided it. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel comfortable, but more so that I didn’t feel right. Granted, I’d come close several times, but Tyler always had more respect for me than to just keep going.

 

Tyler…

 

I felt my stomach drop. I hadn’t thought of him once tonight, and the realization hung heavy in my body. What I was doing was cheating, and it wasn’t fair to him. It shouldn’t have mattered whether I was still stuck in here or not. Maybe something more complicated than this came up. Though I highly doubted it, I knew Tyler well enough to give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

In my dwelling on Tyler, I hadn’t noticed Jason had slipped his shirt off and was working at my dress. I tensed, disgusted with myself, and pushed on Jason’s chest. Our lips parted and we both let out a long breath. As Jason tipped his head down for another kiss, I turned my face away from him.

 

“No,” I said quietly. “Not now.”

 

He paused for a long moment, then relaxed his body. Jason placed a small kiss just below my jaw, then pulled himself from the bed. I felt the warmth of his body leave me and watched as he snagged his shirt from the floor and strode toward the door.

 

I was tingling all over, the result of what I’d just done with Jason. It was just like when he kissed me the first time, but instead of leaving behind confusion it left ache and want. My body was nearly shouting at me for stopping, but my mind was telling me I’d done the right thing — maybe.

 

I sat up and pulled my dress down, trying to think of it as if the positions were switched. If I found out Tyler had cheated on me while I was here, the only thing I knew for sure was that I’d feel betrayed. Almost as if he just needed me gone, and he have a shot at getting some action with some random slut on the streets. Just thinking about it made my heart hurt and my blood boil. He wouldn’t do it to me, and I wanted to think I wouldn’t do it to him.

 

But for some reason, I already regretted stopping Jason.


	14. ~9.19~

    I sat awake for a long time, going back and forth between reaming and defending myself for what I’d done.  Part of me knew I’d been completely out of bounds in terms of my relationship with Tyler; the other part — as small as it was — was arguing that if Tyler cared as much about me as he said he did, I’d have been out of here by now and it wouldn’t have happened.  It was poor reasoning, seeing as Tyler wouldn’t have stayed with me for almost two years if he didn’t, but I clung to the explanation as if it were the only one.

 

    I changed out of the blue dress and slipped off the heels, exchanging them for a pair of my own sweats, hoodie, and socks.  When I walked back to the bed I saw the wrinkles in the sheets where I’d more or less just cheated on Tyler.  A stab of guilt hit me and I kneeled in the middle of the spot, getting rid of the mark as a question hit me.  Was it really cheating if I didn’t have feelings for Jason?

 

    Trying to push the thought from my mind, I curled up against the headboard and pulled the duvet over my head.  It was hard to forget what had happened when my entire body was still tingling from Jason’s touch, especially where he’d placed the last kiss to my jaw.  He’d stopped when I told him to, but I didn’t know whether the last touch was for me or for him.  My stomach knotted thinking about it either way.

 

    Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and counted down slowly from one hundred.  I always did this when I was nonplussed — it cleared my head and slowed down my mental processing.  When I reached eighty, all I could focus on was how worn out I actually was.  By sixty I was fighting unconsciousness.  I didn’t hear Jason come back into the room, and I never reached forty.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

    I woke up around one o’clock in the afternoon.  Light was streaming in through a break in the dark curtains covering the windows, casting warm rays across my feet.  Sucking in a deep breath, I stretched out my body and scrunched my eyes closed.  Tiredness still weighed down my eyelids, but I didn’t think I could fall back asleep.

 

    Suddenly, a sick feeling of angst dropped in my stomach.  My eyes peeked down at the end of the bed, expecting to see Jason on the air mattress, but he wasn’t.  I bit my lip and sat up, noticing the blankets on the small mattress were tossed aside.  He must’ve gotten up already.

 

    The nervousness I felt was a kind that hadn’t hit me in a long time; the first oddity being that it was  _actual_  nervousness.  It didn’t happen very often, since I didn’t have anything to be nervous about.  But this kind, I realized, was how I’d felt after my first kiss with Tyler.

 

    I quickly shook the thoughts off, counting it as something that came around every time I kissed a new person.  Maybe it was guilt, and not even nerves.  After all, I had a lot to be guilty about.

 

    Slipping out of bed, I padded into the bathroom and went through my morning routine; washing my face, brushing my teeth, and staring into the mirror until I realized how irritated I actually was about being stuck in Jason’s house.  I couldn’t seem to stop thinking that I wouldn’t be here if Tyler were trying harder to get me out.  My thinking wasn’t entirely justified, but I wasn’t necessarily wrong.

 

     A knock on the door made me jump.  I backed away from the sink and hesitated, staring at the door while fumbling with a string on my sweatpants.  It was obviously Jason, and I wasn’t afraid of him, but for some reason I was afraid to open the door.  Maybe I was scared of what he would say, or how he would treat me after last night.  Of course, I shouldn’t really have cared how he had treated me.  Yet still, the sick feeling was back in my stomach.

 

    “Phoebe?” Jason’s voice traveled through the door.  “I left my shoes in there and I need them.”

 

    I bit down hard on my lip, then gave a quick, “Okay.”

 

    I spotted a cross between a pair of work boots and high tops next to the door and scooped them up.  My hand reached for the knob and hovered over it for a second longer than needed before turning the handle.  Slowly, trying to avoid eye contact with Jason, I held his shoes out and leaned against the doorframe.  The weight of his shoes left my grasp, but he didn’t leave right after.  I cursed myself, then looked up to see his expression.

 

    He wasn’t looking at me the way he had last night — that part I knew for sure.  I couldn’t quite read him, and that frustrated me.  No emotion played across his face like I was sure it did on mine.  My fists clenched subtly at my sides.   _Indifference_  was written all over him.

 

    “You’re welcome,” I said quickly, not trying to hide the hostility in my tone.  My hand pushed the door closed not half a second later, and I leaned against it, waiting to hear him leave.

 

    I didn’t hear his footsteps trail away for at least a full five seconds.  When I figured he’d finally left his bedroom, I pushed my palms into my eye sockets and sucked in a deep breath.  As I let it out, I tried to heave out all my pent up emotion with it.  The problem was that I didn’t know  _what_  emotion I was trying to force out of my system.

 

    Indifference?  Is that really what he felt about what happened last night?  Here I was, stressing about betraying Tyler — with  _Jason McCann_ of all people — and trying to justify what I’d felt with Jason, and Jason hardly batted an eye at me.  I shoved myself away from the wall and sauntered up to the sink, watching my eyes carefully in the mirror’s reflection.

 

     _You didn’t feel anything with Jason_ , I told myself.   _You were lonely and had a lapse in judgment.  A blind moment.  He feels nothing for you, and likewise._

 

I hated the feeling in my gut that resembled intense muscle cramping as I ran the words through my head.  I knew they were true, inside and out.  But why didn’t I act as if I did?

 

    My eyes were tired, more so than they’d been even when I’d slept on the floor of the basement.  I could feel a headache stemming at my nose and reached up the pinch the brim, squeezing my eyes shut.  Suddenly, I felt too closed in.  I needed air, and I needed it now.

 

    My feet carried me away from the sink and out the bathroom door, not pausing to look if Jason was still there.  I knew Jason didn’t have a window that opened in his room, but that didn’t say anything about the others.  My gaze traveled up and down the hall in search for an open door.  I spotted one at the end — Leo’s room.  Immediately my feet carried me there.

 

    I realized my heart rate had raised, a result of my sudden case of claustrophobia.  My hands wrung in front of my torso as I slipped through Leo’s door.  The room seemed brighter than Jason’s, though the window was nowhere near as large.  The curtains against it were an off-white, as were the sheets on the double bed.

 

    Sure enough, I could see that the window opened.  I all but dove for it, fumbling with the latch and pushing the slide open.  Warm air hit my face and I nearly gulped it down as the sound of cars in the distance filled my ears.  I saw the sun was nearly at its peak, shining down on the dark asphalt.  After nearly two weeks inside, it felt strange to have fresh air fill my lungs.

 

    Footsteps thundered up the staircase, making me jump.  I turned to face the door as both Jason and Leo flung themselves into the room.  I looked at them, confused, as I tried to read their expressions.  Leo looked flustered, and I couldn’t tell if Jason was angry or distraught.

 

    “What the hell?” Jason barked, trying to decided whether to look at me with confusion or irritation.

 

    “I should be asking  _you_  that,” I said defensively, crossing my arms.

 

    “Why is the window open?  What were you trying to do?”  He kept throwing questions without leaving room for me to answer.

 

    “First of all,” I held up a finger.  “How did you even know I opened the window?”

 

    “The alarm in the basement went off,” Leo explained carefully, glancing at Jason.  “It’s always armed, so if something opens, we know about it.”

 

    “So what were you doing?” Jason demanded, taking a step toward me.

 

    My teeth ground together, filling with aggravation as he showed no patience.  “I wanted to breathe some real air for a change,” I shot at him.  “I’ve been locked up in this goddamn place for almost two weeks.  Can you blame me for wanting air that isn’t polluted with the smell of boys?”

 

    Jason shook his head angrily.  “Stop bull-shitting me, Lastings.”

 

    “I’m not bull-shitting you!” I shouted suddenly, surprising even myself.  My volume caught me off guard — most likely a product of all the events of last night and this morning — but I wasn’t about to back down.  “I’m three stories up on this side with no ledges to grip.  If I were planning a drop out of here, I’d have to be willing to break a leg at the bottom.  Kicking the screen out would create a hell of a lot more noise than I’d want during a break-out, too.  The fact that you assumed I was that dumb shows just how dense you are!”

 

    Jason’s expression darkened, and I thought for a second he was going to say something, but he didn’t.  Instead, he began briskly walking toward me.  I forced myself not to flinch as he brushed past and slammed the window shut.  The latch clicked deafeningly, and Jason nudged my shoulder as he headed back for the door.

 

    “Stay away from the damn windows,” he snapped as he walked out.

 

    I watched the door where he had been, glaring at it.  Leo shifted uncomfortably, no doubt thinking my expression was meant for him.

 

    “I’d do the same thing you did,” he told me, rubbing the back of his neck.  “I don’t know what I’d do if I were trapped in the same place for as long as you’ve been.”

 

    My gaze softened as my eyes fell to his face.  In no way was I any less angry at Jason; I just couldn’t get mad at Leo.  I sighed, walking away from the window and to the door.

 

    “I just don’t get it,” I said.

 

    He rose an eyebrow at me.  “What don’t you get?”

 

    I shrugged, trying not to let me temper flare again.  Having to pause and take a breath, I then said, “Why me?  What do I have to do with any of this, other than taking from him that night — mind you, along with everyone else I live with.  Is he trying to screw with Sam?  With Tyler?  With  _me_?  Because if that’s the case, he’s succeeded on all counts.”

 

    Leo’s shoulders rose and fell, telling me he was just as lost as I was.  Another frustrated sigh left my lips and I rubbed my temples.

 

    “He acts like I’m an insanely annoying burden,” I continued.  “Don’t get me wrong; I try to make it feel like that.  But if I’m such a pain-in-the-ass, why keep me around?”

 

    He shifted from foot to foot, glancing at my face before his eyes dropped to the ground.  “You know too much about the house, for one,” he said.  “You know almost exactly how it’s laid out and what’s where.”

 

    My forehead creased in a frown.  “He just had a party here last night,” I countered.  “Anyone could’ve walked around and documented this place from top to bottom.”

 

    “Your group is our biggest threat,” Leo told me, as if I didn’t already know.  “Anyone else, we can fight them off easy — hell, we can make it look like they never existed.”

 

    His words sent a chill down my spine, but I suppressed it.  Leo was right, in a sense.

 

    “But you’re all different,” he continued.  “You know how to fend for yourselves better than anyone in the area right now.  You do especially well for not using guns, too.  Actually, we were all surprised when we found one in your duffel.  If there had been just one or two of us, I don’t doubt that you’d have been able to slip away and grab it.”

 

    I nodded absent-mindedly.  The way Jason had thought all of this through didn’t make sense.  How long had he planned to keep me here in the first place?  A month?  Two?  He couldn’t have been thinking a year — right?

 

    “This is all just ridiculous,” I mumbled, turning to leave.  “Complete bullshit.”

 

    “If it’s any consolation,” Leo called after me.  “I’d let you out, if it were up to me.”

 

    I smiled slightly.  “Too bad it’s not,” I said over my shoulder.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

    The rest of the day had gone on like normal — “normal” meaning making dinner for whatever guys were in the house at the time, and kicking back in my bean bag for the remainder of the day.  The only thing missing was Jason’s presence.  He’d been out since he’d lost his head over the window, and still wasn’t back when I headed upstairs around eleven.

 

    I had gone up and changed into different sweatpants and a sweatshirt earlier than normal, intending to get a little more sleep than I had in the past few days.  The constant feeling of tiredness I had was beginning to get annoying.  Plus, I was a little bitter that my bed at home wasn’t nearly as comfortable as Jason’s, but it was something I didn’t want to admit.

 

    I was lying on my side, staring out the windowed wall with the lights off when I heard the door open.  Knowing it was Jason without having to turn around, I stayed facing away from him as I felt a small amount of anger from earlier creep into my body.  I knew deep —  _really_ deep — down that I’d overreacted to Jason’s overreaction, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still upset; really, I was upset about everything that had happened since last night, but I wasn’t willing to admit that either.

 

    I heard Jason’s shoes thump against the floor as he kicked them off, then heard him shuffle into his closet.  He came out a few minutes later.  I didn’t have to look to know he wore loose-fitting athletic shorts without a shirt adorning his torso.  He went through the same routine every night.  His feet lead him to the bathroom, where he brushed his teeth and washed his face, then came out and headed toward the mattress on the floor.

 

    But it wasn’t the air mattress he’d set his course for.  It was the one I was curled up on, with the sheets pulled up under my armpit.  The corner sank as Jason sat on it, catching me off guard.  I still couldn’t see him, but I could feel his eyes on me.  I waited for him to say something, but nothing came from his mouth.  A few seconds passed and his gaze pushed me to words.

 

    “What am I to you?” I asked quietly.

 

    I could’ve shot myself right then and there.

 

    “Am I just a toy?” I clarified quickly, trying to ebb the churning feeling in my stomach.  “Something to use to get to Sam?  Or is it Tyler?  Me, even?  Because if that’s it, I can assure you, you’ve done it.”

 

    My eyes shut tight after I finished.   _Stupid,_  the voice at the back of my head said.   _What kind of question was that?_ What am I to you?   _Are you insane?  What is he to_ you _that you even care?_

 

A long silence from Jason met my ears, and the stirring in my stomach increased.  What was going on with me?  Why, when put in this situation, was I nervous as to what he might say or do?  What should it matter?

 

    “What are you talking about?” Jason finally asked.

 

    My jaw almost dropped.  How dense  _was_  he?

 

    I sat up, staring not at him, but straight ahead.  “You’re shitting me, right?”  I paused only a beat.  “I’m talking about all of this — why I’m here, why I’m in  _your_  room, why you’re not being as rude as I am.”  I swallowed.  “Last night.  After all that, what would it matter if I climbed out a window and you never saw me again?”

 

    “If this is about the window,” he said, “then you’ve got some issues.”  He didn’t try to keep the sarcastic tone out of his voice.

 

    “It’s hard not to think about things when all I do is sit around on my ass all day,” I snapped.  “Thanks to you and your ego.  ‘You’ve got issues’,” I mocked.  “Kiss my ass, Jason.  You  _are_  my issue.”

 

    He paused again, something I wasn’t expecting.  I knew him as one to fire back without shame in his words, but nothing about this conversation was really showing that aspect.

 

    “What was last night to you?” he asked slowly.

 

    The question blindsided me.  Out of all I’d said, he’d pulled that one thing out?  After acting completely indifferent this morning, he decided now was the time to actually care?  I couldn’t stop my temper from flaring.  He’d blown me off, then chewed me out for a goddamn window.

 

    “A lapse in judgement,” I said harshly.  “I’d had a few drinks, and for all I knew, you were some random guy.”  We both knew I was lying, but that didn’t stop me.  I had a boyfriend and, intoxicated or not, wouldn’t have kissed someone other than Tyler.

 

    Jason’s nostrils flared.  “You seemed pretty sure of who I was.  Need I remind you, you chased a girl away just for the chance of sitting on my lap.”

 

    I felt my cheeks flush.  “It’s called trying to get under your skin,” I admitted.  I wasn’t going to let him sit there and throw things at me.  “It meant nothing.   _Nothing._ ”

 

    The corners of his mouth twitched up.  “Who are you trying to convince?”

 

    I let my mouth hang open.  “You narcissistic asshole!” I shouted, taking the pillow from behind me and throwing it at him as hard as I could.  He caught it easily, and I could tell he was fighting a smile.  “Do you honestly think you could mean more to me than an insect burnt to a crisp on the sidewalk in the middle of summer!?”  My pulse was raised noticeably, along with my temper.  I’d never known anyone who made my blood boil like Jason could.

 

    “How long did you have to think about that bug comparison?”  A smirk slid onto his face.

 

    How could he take this so lightly?  I was over here trying to hold my temper in, while he was sitting and mocking me.  It was infuriating, and anger began to blind me.  My jaw clenched as I shot up, right there on the bed, and lunged for him.

 

    A few years ago I had my first fighting lesson with Sam.  He’d already come out of his awkward growing stage and had started training in an actual gym, so by comparison I was significantly smaller in muscle mass.  Needless to say I was a little intimidated, but I already knew the first thing about fighting — no matter your opponent, don’t show your nerves.

 

    The second thing, I learned quickly as we jumped right in, was to take your time and find a weak point.  Sam kept his distance as I kind of danced around, not knowing quite what to do.  And a few seconds later, he lashed out a kick to the side of my knee and I was down in less than a second.  As I glared up at him, laughing at me like I was a toddler, he held out a hand for me to grab.  I reached out for it, but instead of pulling myself up, I twisted his arm so roughly he let out a yelp and dove at me to try to coax my hands to let go.

 

    “Never underestimate me,” I told him, laughing just as he had laughed at me.  “Your kindness could be my advantage.”

 

    He turned suddenly somber, nodding slightly.  “It’s too bad most people in this world won’t help you up when you’re down.  Your one shot is while you’re still standing, because when you’re down I can almost guarantee you no one aside from me will think twice about going in for the kill.”

 

    The thought had chilled me, and we stood up together.  I held my fists up just as Sam had shown me and set a determined look on my face.

 

    “Then teach me how to stay up,” I said.  “Teach me to be rational in a fight, and teach me how to keep going.”

 

    My hands had been aiming for Jason’s throat, but he caught them easily.  I didn’t know what I’d been thinking when I’d thrown myself across the bed — I hadn’t really been thinking.  It went against everything Sam had taught me, starting with keeping a cool head.  What it was about Jason that blinded me this way, I didn’t know.  All I knew was that my wrists were now grasped tightly in his hold, and I was at his mercy.

 

    The look in Jason’s eyes as I struggled wildly against his hold sent a shiver up my spine.  If there was one thing I should’ve known Jason trained relentlessly at, it was hand to hand combat.  My attempt at knocking him down hardly qualified as fighting, but everything else Sam had engraved into my brain kicked in at that point.

 

    I tried twisting out of his grasp, but the most I succeeded in doing was moving his hands an inch or two.  The rest of my body was in the worst position to start throwing kicks, seeing as when I’d dove at him I hadn’t planned on being caught.  I did the best I could to at least raise to my knees, but by that time Jason’s hold on me had tightened and getting out wasn’t really an option.

 

    “Phoebe,” he said quietly, but his tone was everything but soft.  He sounded firm, and that was putting it lightly.

 

    I reluctantly stopped struggling, my teeth clenched as his hold on me stayed tight.  My pride was getting the best of me as I refused looking Jason in the eye.  I held my gaze on the window, dark from the setting of the sun a few hours ago.  The only noise was the sound of my heightened breathing.  A long silence passed as I felt my breaths begin to even out, though my pulse was still firing.

 

    “Phoebe,” Jason said again.

 

    The way my name fell out of his mouth caused my eyes to flash to his.  It held a certain capacity, like a whole sentence was held in that one word.  As our gazes met, another chill ran down my spine.  His eyes were hard, knowing.  How he could know anything about what I was thinking was beyond me.  Up to this point, my actions had really just been a distraction — an avoidance method.  If Jason was avoiding what happened last night, then why shouldn’t I?

 

    “You’re fuming over a window,” Jason said.  “You’ve been fine here — angry, sure, but not enough to try to attack me.”  The corner of his mouth twitched.

 

    “Stop treating me like I’m five,” I snapped, narrowing my eyes.  “You’re acting like I don’t have a reason to be angry.”

 

    “I know you’re pissed,” he said, brushing me off.  “But after the show you were putting on, what brought you back to this?”

 

    I scoffed.  “You’re every bit the douche everyone says you are.  You treat people like a burden after you get what you want from them.”

 

    His face turned stony.  “If you think I’m acting like you’re a burden, then what did I get from you?”

 

    I should’ve been further aggravated, but I only found my cheeks going red.  “You really need to ask that question?  Are you  _really_  going to ignore what happened last night?”

 

    The corners of Jason’s mouth flicked upward, but only slightly.  “I thought that’s what you would want, after stopping — to ignore that it even happened.”

 

    “Since when have  _you_  cared what  _I_ want?” I fired back, though I felt the churning begin in my stomach again.  I tried to convince myself that Jason was only saying these things, but the expression on his face didn’t even hint that he was lying.

 

    “Do you want to ignore it?” he asked, dodging my question.  His gaze flashed to my mouth and lingered there, sending a third chill through me.

 

    Did I?  What did it say about me that’d I’d gotten offended by his seeming indifference?  I’d been trying to convince myself all day that it didn’t matter, and that was who Jason is, masking the cramp-like feeling in my gut.  But what did that mean?  Everything I’d felt since our kiss last night had confused me, and even talking to Jason wasn’t helping.  The feeling I’d gotten when our lips met wasn’t like anything I’d ever felt before and — staring at Jason, I now realized — I’d been avoiding that just as much as Jason had been ignoring me.

 

    “I don’t…” I trailed off, glancing toward the window again.  I had been about to say “I don’t know”, but I did know that I hadn’t stopped thinking about it.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to ignore our heated kiss the night before; it was that I  _couldn’t_ ignore it.

 

    “No,” I said, my eyes sliding back over to Jason.  My stare fell to his mouth as he licked his lips, then back to the hazel gaze watching me.  “I don’t.”

 

    A small, confused smile glanced his features.  “What are we supposed to do?” he chuckled lightly.  “Talk about it?”

 

    He wasn’t serious about it, but I was.  This was happening with  _Jason McCann_ , my brother’s sworn enemy since he was fourteen.  I’d given Jason a sure answer, and if I were truly going to stay with that, I had to be one hundred percent sure.  Granted, it was just a kiss, but the way it felt made it seem like so much more.

 

    Something in his expression changed as I felt a change in mine.  Suddenly we were both serious, and Jason’s grip on my wrists let up.  He was glancing between my eyes and my mouth, assessing me.

 

    This was where I had to make my choice.  It felt so heavy.  I didn’t know what would happen if I kissed Jason again.  On the flip side, I didn’t really know what would happen if I didn’t.  Would we just go back to what it was before?  Civil on the surface, but snapping at each other every other chance we got?  I know I had only been acting kind, but had Jason?  He wouldn’t have bought me hundreds of dollars worth of clothing, put off the guy at his party, or given me his bed just to screw with me.

 

    I realized this was the same train of thought that had lead me to kissing Jason last night.  It was doing a great deal to push me toward him again, something I’d been fighting.  But if I had to try that hard to ignore it, was it really right to be avoiding him?

 

    My decision was made in the next few seconds.

 

    Pushing aside everything that was telling me not to, I leaned into Jason and pressed my mouth to his.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	15. ~9.20~

    Jason’s lips immediately responded to mine, molding to my mouth and flushing the intense feeling I got whenever we kissed through my body.  My wrists twisted out of his hands and I tugged roughly at the hair gracing the nape of his neck.  Jason’s touch wandered to my waist, pushing up my sweatshirt to reveal my sides.  The pads of his fingers pressed into my skin as we shared the kiss.

 

    I leaned further into him, causing our bodies to fall back against his mattress and my legs to straddle his waist.  Deepening our kiss, I bit down lightly on his lower lip.  He responded by slipping his tongue against mine and pulling me downward to flush my chest against his.  My left hand trailed down his clothed torso to tease the hem of his shirt, then drew it up and pressed my palm against his tensing abdominal muscles.

 

    I was overwhelmed by whatever feeling Jason gave me.  Briefly, my mind flashed to explosions creating a buzz throughout my entire body.  I could think of nothing but where Jason and I were touching — my right hand running through his hair, two weeks past due for a trim; my left compressed against stomach and mashed between our bodies; the insides of my thighs squeezing against his sides.  Our lips, most of all, moving in almost flawless patterns against one another.

 

    Jason’s hands moved further up my body, bare underneath with the exception of a sports bra.  His fingers slipped underneath the stretching material, splaying his palms to the soft skin of my back.  As I tugged his shirt up toward his pecks, Jason’s lips left a trail across my jaw and came to reside at the base of my neck, sucking softly.  It took all I had within me to suppress the moans he was enticing from my throat.  He couldn’t know he had that much power over me already.

 

    But just as I thought this, he moved from underneath me and pinned me on my back, causing me to let a gasp escape from my mouth.  Jason continued to press slow, elaborate kisses to my neck, moving to just below my jaw and sucking harshly.  I felt the blood under my skin flush to the surface, unable to hide a low moan that slid from my lips.  Jason’s small smirk was evident against the heated area as he raised his head for only a second before pressing his mouth against mine again.

 

    Jason’s shirt had somehow managed to slip off in the next few seconds, and I could feel in the movements of his hands that mine was sure to follow.  The thought suddenly made me nervous, my already speeding heart beating faster.  I was being rash with Jason, but not  _that_  rash.  Sex was still a significant move, whether I was ready or not.

 

    I began to slow the movements of my lips against Jason’s, and he — though I could tell reluctantly — did the same.  His hands still lingered under my sweatshirt, which had become impossibly smothering in a short amount of time.  The feel of his bare chest against my exposed stomach did nothing to help suppress the buzzing in my body, nor did I wish it to stop.

 

    The movements of our mouths became less urgent and more savoring, hot breath brushing over my cheeks.  I could feel where Jason had drawn blood to the surface of my skin pulsing subtly, and heat flushed to my cheeks and stirred in my abdomen.  It would still be there when I woke up tomorrow, and most likely throughout the day.  As our lips continued to brush I wondered what jeers I’d get from the rest of Jason’s group in the morning, and I wondered how the hell I ended up like this.

 

 

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    I was slow to waking, knowing that if I did I would have to leave the warm encasing of sheets around me.  My eyes drifted open, landing on slits of light cast on the far wall by the window at my back.  Judging by the brightness and angle, I could guess I’d already missed half of the day to sleep.  A growl in my stomach caused me to rub a hand against my torso, only to be met by another.

 

    Suddenly, all of last night came rushing back at me.  Kissing Jason, wanting him badly and stopping just short of being undressed by him — along with everything going through my head, leading up to the decisions I’d made.

 

    I cursed myself for feeling comfort in our position, my back flush against Jason’s bare chest, one of his arms draped around my middle and holding me to him.  I shouldn’t be like this, not with Jason.

 

    But I couldn’t find it within myself to separate from him out of revulsion, like I could have not even a few nights ago.  The feeling I had whenever we kissed, or touched like we were then, stood in the way of me running from him.

 

    A thought of Tyler drifted across my mind but I shoved it away quickly, stifling it’s ability to make me feel any guilt.  I didn’t want to face the fact that I had basically basically cheated on him, let alone with  _whom._ I also couldn’t bear to think about what it would mean if he found out, or even if I were in his position — I’d never want to see his face again.  Going further down this path meant throwing away two years with a boy who would go great lengths for me, and likewise.  Something like what Tyler and I had didn’t just die off, but I kept finding myself trying to reason against him.

 

    Another growl of my stomach brought me out of my train of thought destined for nowhere good.  My fingers pried at Jason’s, trying to persuade them to let me go.  To my surprise they held some resistance, but with the stir of the still-sleeping body behind me I was able to slide out from underneath him.

 

    After a short trip to the toilet I washed my face off in front of the mirror.  When I dropped my hand to rinse underneath my jaw, I winced at the sore spot blooming a dark shade of purple.  My eyes closed and I breathed deeply, trying to gather a sliver of patience.  I was definitely  _not_  in the mood to get crap from Jason’s guys, but that was exactly what I’d get if they saw it.

 

    I slipped out the bathroom door and into the hallway without checking if Jason was awake or not, wanting to delay the inevitable discussion for as long as possible.  Or maybe there wouldn’t be any discussion at all, given that last night had shown how talking was, for neither of us, a forte.  Either way, more of me than not wanted to delay seeing Jason as long as possible.

 

    As I made my way down the stairs I brushed my hair over part of my neck to hide the mark Jason had left.  My toes curled a little at the cold of the staircase, granted a little relief at the bottom when my feet hit carpet.  Sooner than I was ready for, they were again chilled by the tile of the kitchen floor.

 

    Leo was sat at the table, typing quickly on his phone as I strutted into the room.  A glance over my shoulder read the clock against the opposite wall as just past one, then brushed over Leo again.  He was a little hunched, a line of concentration forming on his forehead.  I could tell something was bothering him, but decided to wait until I’d jerked the refrigerator’s door open.

 

    “What’s got you in a knot?” I asked around the metal barrier holding more than a few new condiments.

 

    I heard a breath pushed from his nose as I pulled out everything needed to make french toast — it was a little late for breakfast food, but my stomach told me I’d chosen right.  The door swung closed behind me and I stooped to pull out a pan.

 

    After receiving no reply from Leo, I opted for the sustenance approach.  “Want some french toast?”

 

    “A little,” he said hurriedly, and I caught the drift that he was brushing me off.  Instead of calling him out, I decided to just continue with my food.

 

    I sat a plate in front of him ten minutes later, followed by a carton of syrup.  Leo was still staring intently at his phone, so I snapped my fingers to make sure he could still see the real world.  His eyes widened slightly, then glanced at the food I’d set in front of him.  Leo mumbled a thanks before setting down his phone for only a second while he poured syrup over his french toast.

 

    “You look a little flustered,” I said aloud, I realized more to myself than anyone.  I simply shrugged and went back to cooking.

 

    A few moments later Leo shot up, making me jump the slightest bit.  Without finishing his food or acknowledging my presence further, he left in a hurry with mutterings of the stupidity of Carter under his breath.  The door downstairs slammed and I was left in silence.  I shrugged to myself and turned back to the stove.  Not ten seconds later I heard someone treading down the stairs and through the living room.  I didn’t look up from what I was making, but from the way the fluttering in my chest hit me I knew it was Jason.

 

    He didn’t say anything, just stood in the doorway for a long time before heading for the refrigerator.  Jason took the path across the island from me, I assumed so as to not run into each other.  I bit my lip as he pulled out a carton of orange juice and set it on the counter, then moved to right beside me to get a glass.  One of his hands brushed the small of my back while the other reached into the cabinet above my head.

 

    Biting my lip, I said, “I made food.”

 

    “I can see that,” Jason nodded, squeezing my waist before walking back to the carton he’d pulled out.  I turned off the stove and shoveled the last of the french toast onto a plate, then slid it across the island.  Jason caught it, the hint of a smile playing on his lips as he looked up at me.

 

    Of all things, I blushed.  Not wishing him to see the reddening of my face, I turned and walked to collect Leo’s half-eaten plate.  His sudden departure crossed my mind again, and I almost opened my mouth to say something to Jason, but thought better of it.  Leo could solve his own problems — even if they did involve Carter’s stupidity.

 

    I made my way to the trashcan, finding Jason standing over it at the end of the island.  My eyebrows raised when he didn’t move.  He shrugged at me, implying that he wasn’t going to move.  I frowned, then jutted out my hip to move him.  I quickly slid the remains of food into the can before Jason had a chance to bump me back.  Both laughing quietly, I moved away to slide the plate into the sink.

 

    Something about our exchanges felt a little awkward.  Sure, we’d kissed — a lot — but I didn’t playful banter should’ve been part of our interactions just yet.  After all, I’d gone from hating him to making out with him within a span of three days.  It shouldn’t have sat right with me, but it felt like so long ago.  Maybe it would get better with more time; then again, how much time did we really have?  And along with so many other things complicating this, I began to wonder if something like this could really work.

 

    I was drawn out of my thoughts by the sound of plates hitting together.  Jason stood at the sink, washing his hands before drying them and heading my direction.  I leaned against the counter, watching him walk the whole way.  He slowed to a stop in front of me and my heart fluttered a little.

 

    “Good morning,” he said, his voice uncharacteristically deep.

 

    I gave him a small smile.  “Good  _afternoon_ ,” I corrected.  A grin spread across his features.

 

    We shared a long look, just silence between us.  I couldn’t quite read his expression, couldn’t tell what he thought of this situation.  Was I supposed to tell him I felt guilty about a lot of things?  Not only did I feel guilty about being difficult in the beginning, but I felt incredibly guilty about everything that’d happened since the party?  It wasn’t his fault, of course, but it was so like me not to want the full blame.  I would hurt a lot of people I loved if they knew what’d happened with Jason and I here.

 

    Another thought peaked my interest.  No one from Jason’s group talked to anyone from my group anymore, as far as I knew.  They couldn’t know what had happened inside this house if only Jason and I knew.  And if no one had any clue as to what was going on between him and I, then who was getting hurt?  Me, really, as the only one.  Guilt would tear me apart, but only if I let it.  I loved Tyler, but I felt something with Jason that I never had with him.  And seeing as I was still within the walls of Jason’s house, did I really have any proof that Tyler had gone out of his way to get me out?

 

    I was probably the worst girlfriend ever.

 

    “Tell me what you’re thinking,” Jason brought me out my thoughts.

 

    I blinked, my eyes trailing up to his brown ones.  He was unreadable as well, arms crossed and feet either side of my extended legs.  He wore a fitted baby blue tee and baggy sweatpants much like the ones I had on.  Jason didn’t hold the same level of intimidation anymore, but maybe that’s because I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me anymore.  Another thought hit me; as long as I kept this up with Jason, I was untouchable here.

 

    “Only if you tell me what you’re thinking,” I said.  I rose an eyebrow, but he just laughed.

 

    A door opened downstairs and my head turned to find Grant stomping up the stairs.  He held a handgun in his left palm, and another was protruding from his waistband.  I was used to seeing them by now, but the abundance of weapons in this house still seemed to shock me.

 

    “I don’t know how long I’ve been standing watch out there,” Grant grumbled, tossing the handgun not so carefully onto the table.  “But it’s boring as hell every time I do it.”  Jason and I stood watching him until he looked up at us.  I questioning look crossed his face at our stance, but it seemed as if he thought better of saying anything.  “Leo’s out there now.”

 

    Jason nodded, and Grant left the room a few seconds later, leaving the gun.  Jason saw this too, because I caught his glance at me in my peripheral before he moved to pick up the weapon.  Without looking back at me, he walked around the corner and out of sight.  Curious, I waited a few seconds before tiptoeing to the edge of the kitchen.  Peering around the corner, I tried to put eyes on him, but he was gone.

 

    I noticed the third door along the far wall open, and Jason’s silhouette soon appeared from it.  My eyes widened and I jolted back into the kitchen, not wanting him to catch me looking.  Heart thundering in my chest, I leaned against the island.  That’s where they were hiding their weapons — probably mine, too!  The realization hit me harder than I would’ve liked.  It had been right under my nose, all this time.  If I’d just explored a little more pointedly, I’d have found them in no time.  My gun was most likely in that storage room, along with my phone.  I just had to get in there.

 

    I suppressed a jump as Jason reappeared in the kitchen.  Knowing he’d see the excitement on my face, I brushed past him quickly.

 

    “I’m going to shower,” I muttered before stalking through the living room and shooting up the stairs.

 

    I had to calm down.  They’d know something was up if I walked around, super charged with energy all day.  Sure, their guns — an my ticket out of here — were in that one room, but I had to get there first.  I remembered poking a head in their my first day here; Jason hadn’t been the slightest bit weary of what I would discover, so they had to have been hidden well.  But I’d find them.

 

    I just needed time.

 

 

••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••        ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••        ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    •

 

 

    Jason had been out for hours when I heard someone come in from downstairs.  He left while I was showering, and I almost screamed in happiness.  I’d made it to the main level without being heard,  but just as I’d reached for the door where Jason had put the gun, Xander had clambered in and had been home ever since.  Angry and flustered, I had collapsed into my usual bean bag and brooded silently since then.

 

    I was sat there when the two voices carried up from the stairs.  They were hushed, hissing back and forth in disagreement.  Whatever they were talking about, they didn’t want to be heard.  My eyebrow rose and I sat up, attempting to be as quiet as possible.  I could faintly tell it was Carter and Grant by the small bits of spoken conversation.  Leo had been messaging Carter this morning, at least I thought, and had been pretty bothered by it.  Curiosity took me over, and I stood abruptly and darted over behind the wall, away from their view.

 

    “You need to get your shit together, Carter,” Grant told him.  “Jason’s going to dump you on your ass if he hears what you’re doing.  You have a problem.”

 

    “I could say the same for you,” Carter bit back.  “How do you come off so great without going on our runs?  What’s got  _you_  in such a good position?”

 

    “I’m not talking about that,” Grant hissed, his once even voice wavering with anger.  “Not here, not when someone could listen.”

 

    I heard footsteps leading out of the kitchen and tensed.  If they found me pressed up against the wall and trying to listen…  I wasn’t quite sure what was going to happen.  My fists clenched and I squeezed my eyes shut, willing him to go away.  And suddenly, I heard Carter stop and meet Grant back in the kitchen.

 

    “There’s no one in here.  We’re alone,” he confirmed, though wrong.  “We’re talking about this  _now_ , because I need help.”

 

    “How the hell is it my fault you gambled your car away?” Grant snapped at him.  “You’re just lucky I actually picked you up!  Otherwise, you’d still be walking — probably through to next week, for how far that pool hall was.  What, did every one around here kick your ass out for wracking up too much debt?”

 

    “Kiss my ass, Grant!  My girl is in trouble, and I gotta help her out.  You can’t tell me if you were in my position that you wouldn’t do the same thing.”

 

    “What did she do to get in so far over her head that she’s got you just as deep?  You’ve got to know when to stop.  Is  _your girl_  doing anything to help herself out?  Because this all seems pretty one-sided.  Call me crazy, but that doesn’t sound much like a relationship to me.”

 

    “She can’t do anything without the cops up her ass!  She’s been arrested twice and—“

 

    “And who paid her bail?  Because it sure as hell better not have been you, Carter!  Let the bitch sort it out herself.”

 

    “Don’t  _call_  her that!” Carter bellowed.  I was almost sure the house shook at his voice.  A few tense seconds passed before he spoke again, voice even.  “I just need a new car.  I’ll tell Jason I sold the Audi and got a new one, I just need the money without him notic—“

 

    “No one  _sells_ a fucking Audi,” Grant said pointedly.  He scoffed.  “You gambled it away, why can’t you gamble it back?”

 

    “No one throws a car like that on the table—“

 

    “Well no  _shit_  genius!  Take your own advice!”

 

    “Stop talking and just listen to me!  I’m asking you for help, man.  I’ll pay you back eventually, but in the meantime you’ll earn it back before you even notice it’s gone!  It’s just a couple grand.”

 

    “How much is a couple?  Ten?  Twenty?   _Fifty_?  I don’t have that kind of cash just sitting around.”

 

    “Like hell you don’t!  With how many people you screw over into—“

 

    “ _Don’t_  talk about it, Carter.  Not here, not anywhere.”  Grant paused for a long time.

 

    A rough sigh came form Carter.  “I just don’t know what to do for her.  But if I don’t do something, she’s going to do something dumb, like get involved with the stuff you’ve got going.”

 

    “I just told you to shut the  _fuck up_!  Jason thinks I left that a year ago, and if you screw this up for me there’s no telling what he’ll do to me, let alone to you when he figures out you’ve been stealing money from the warehouse!”

 

    My eyes widened.  Carter had been stealing from his own group?  And what kind of business did Grant have going that was bad enough to have Jason wanting him out?  It didn’t sit right at all.  No group had these kind of secrets and lasted.

 

    “You wouldn’t tell him that,” Carter tested, forcing all of his rage into his words.

 

    “I would,” Grant shot.  “If you screw me over—“

 

    I nearly jumped out of my skin when footsteps came from the top of the stairs.  Frozen, I watched as Leo’s feet appeared at the top, walking down unassuming of what was happening downstairs.  Caught between the wall and the beanbag, and had about five seconds to decide what to do.  Diving back onto the beanbag to escape Leo’s suspicion was dangerous, because Grant and Carter would know I’d been listening.  But standing here would’ve been even more so, because Leo would say something to me and alert them of my presence anyway.

 

    I took off for the bean bag and dove into it just as the rest of Leo’s body came into view.  He was drinking from a can, twirling a key attached to a laniard around his fingers.  I attempted to take deep breaths, my heart racing with the thought of being found out.

 

    As Leo walked by he only nodded at me.  I almost cried out in relief that he didn’t say my name.  He made his way into the kitchen and said a quick hello to Grant and Carter, then I heard a door slam downstairs.  Breathing hard, I took this as my opportunity to make a dash for the stairs.

 

    I was up and in Jason’s room within five seconds, heart thundering and listening closely for any sign that the two boys knew I’d been downstairs.  When I heard no more voices or footsteps running toward the stairs, I knew I hadn’t been caught, and I knew I was safe.

 

    I collapsed onto Jason’s bed and laughed.  
  



	16. ~9.27~

    “Tell me something I don’t know,” I spoke absently to Jason, tracing small patterns on his bare chest.

 

    “There’s a lot you don’t know,” he huffed, catching my fingers as goosebumps raised on his body.

 

    I smiled lightly.  “You’d think a week of making out with me would make you feel obligated to tell me a few things about yourself.”

 

    “Maybe.”

 

    We were lying on his bed, the sheets tugged up around our waists as one of my legs was resting around Jason’s hips.  My head rested on a pillow facing him and he was on his back, a muscled arm slung behind my neck.  A week since this whole thing had started, and I could say with reluctancy that my guilt level had died down.  In fact, there was a span of three days where Tyler hadn’t even crossed my mind.  All I’d really thought about was Jason.  It went against everything I’d ever been told growing up, but in recent days I had begun to question why.

 

    “Twenty questions?” I suggested, looking at him in my peripheral.

 

    His gaze turned to meet mine.  “What?”

 

    I rolled my eyes.  “You know…  I ask you twenty questions, you ask me twenty.  Truthful answers are required.”  His forehead pulled together.  I reached up to rub the creases with my pointer finger, grinning when he batted my touch away.  

 

    “Come on,” I said.  “Just one round.  I don’t know much more than what Sam has told me about you.”

 

    An edgy look from him told me I’d been close to saying the wrong thing.  Seeing as Jason was a sensitive subject for my brother, it would only make sense for it to be the same case for him.  But that didn’t stop me from wanting to know about Jason.  My intentions weren’t completely innocent, seeing as I wanted to know where my gun and phone were, along with what was going on outside the four walls of Jason’s place.  When I was still at Markus’s house, I got a constant feed of news from the guys, whereas here the guys — Blondie and Xander, to be specific — hardly talked around me without throwing a glare my way.

 

    Jason looked up at the ceiling, trying to remain unreadable by me.  He succeeded, leaving me clueless until he looked down a good ten seconds later.

 

    “I’ll give you five,” he said.

 

    I tried not to show my disappointment.  Five questions definitely weren’t enough to warm up to the ones I wanted to ask, and I couldn’t full out ask Jason where he was hiding my stuff.  I wasn’t going to pretend to think he trusted me.  Truthfully, the word ‘trust’ probably wasn’t even remotely in the vocabulary we used toward each other.  Would I ever trust Jason?  I didn’t know.  I didn’t want to think far enough down the road to the day I might trust Jason McCann, infamous to pretty much everyone in the whole state of California.

 

    “What’s your favorite color?” I asked — better to act harmless than to let him know I wanted to pry into his life.

 

    Jason snorted.  “You’re wasting a question on that?”

 

    I sat up and looked him in the eye.  “It’s  _so_  not a waste.  What if you died today and I’m haunted by the ever-present thought that I never knew your favorite color?”

 

    He rolled his eyes and rubbed a hand over his jaw, a shadow of stubble covering his face.  We’d stayed in bed most of the day, and I could only guess at the time.  It might have been three, or five, or maybe six.  The only time we’d gotten up was for a late breakfast, but even then that hadn’t lasted long.  Lately, things had become a lot more physical; a lot less talking, as if we really ever had before.  I’d decided to play the question game not only to figure a few things out, but also to at least know a bit about Jason.

 

    He sighed.  “Blue, I guess.”

 

    “You’re so boring,” I tsked.  “What kind of blue?  There’s more than just one shade.”

 

    Jason considered this for another moment.  “Like the sky.  And that’s question two.”

 

    “Dammit,” I laughed, thumping his leg.  He returned my smile and I sat back.  “Tell me your favorite food, then.”

 

    “I like Mexican food,” he replied without hesitation.

 

    “Favorite time of day?”

 

    “Night.  You have one question left.”

 

    I nodded.  I knew I should finish with another favorite-based question.  If I played the innocence right, I could probably get a few answers out of Jason.  My best bet would be that for now, I shouldn’t press my luck.

 

    “You know what?” I said.  “I’m going to save my last question for a more important moment.”

 

    Jason smiled lightly.  “Okay.  Do I get to ask you questions now?”

 

    I hummed for a second, considering it.  “You get one,” I told him.  Smiling at his playfully angry expression, I leaned in and placed a long kiss against his lips.  I was hit for probably the hundredth time in a week with the undeniable rush I felt while with Jason.  It was incredibly addicting.

 

    I drew back and breathed in deeply.  All at once, I climbed over Jason and slid off the bed.  I tugged my sweatshirt down and padded toward the bathroom, where I’d been leaving most of my clean clothes.

 

    “Where are you going?” Jason called after me.

 

    “I can’t stay in bed  _all_  day,” I grinned, not looking back at him.

 

    I closed the bathroom door and flipped on the shower.  As I peeled off my clothes, I tried to clear my mind of all thoughts.  It always seemed to be while taking a bath or shower that I thought about things outside of this house — more specifically, Sam and Tyler; Emmett, even, with his leg.  As I stepped into the shower I tried to flush from my mind the images of him blanching as blood pooled around him on the kitchen floor, to little avail.

 

    I cursed myself for getting stuck here, cursed myself for playing around in my own little world when I didn’t know what was going on with the people that mattered most to me.  Granted, I had no way to know, but that was no excuse to completely discard my brother and my boyfriend.

 

    Cringing, I pressed a hand against the shower wall to hold myself up.  I’d been trying to pretend like he didn’t exist this past week, and was ashamed to say I’d succeeded.  Jason just made it so easy — easy to ignore everything Sam had told me about him, and everything Tyler and I had gone through…

 

    I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek to snap myself out of my thoughts.  They — my rational thoughts, that is — had become a trap from me, dragging me into a spell of wallowing in self pity and trying to pull me away from what I was finding in Jason.  Contrary to what Sam had told me, this past week — these past few weeks, really — had shown that Jason wasn’t who he was made out to be.  He was a different person on the street than he was in here, just like we all had to be.  My brother just hadn’t seen this side of him because he and Jason had always been butting heads.

 

    I hurried and finished showering, twisting my wet hair into a bun and throwing on a pair of leggings and a long shirt from the pile Jason had brought me.  After peeking my head into the room, I noticed Jason wasn’t there and stepped out into the hall.  I walked down the stairs, eyeing the room I was sure held my gun and phone as I passed, and found Leo sat at the table in the kitchen.  He was scowling at his phone, looking much like he had the night Carter and Grant had argued about money and Grant’s “business”.  In fact, Leo had been pretty distant the whole week since then.  I’d been thinking about it almost every second that wasn’t occupied by the possible location of my weapon and Jason.  Not knowing what Grant was involved in was driving me insane.

 

    “What’s got your panties in a bunch?” I asked him as I passed, heading toward the fridge.

 

    Leo didn’t speak as I pulled out a carton of orange juice and a cup.  As I poured, he stole a quick glance at me before shaking his head and typing a few more things into his phone.  I scowled, expecting an answer from the person I trusted most in this house.

 

    “Leo?”  I put down the cup I’d lifted to my mouth.  “Tell me what the deal is.”

 

    He finished whatever he was doing on his phone and stood abruptly, hardly looking at me before turning away.  My teeth clenched as he began walking down the stairs, but temper rising quickly with his avoidance of me.

 

    “Leo!” I said forcefully, holding my position at the island.  “What is your issue?  You’re the only person in this place I can talk openly with, and it’s annoying as hell that you’ve been pissing and moaning and ignoring me for a straight week.”

 

    He stopped just before reaching the stairs leading down.  The phone in his hand was tucked into his back pocket before he turned to face me.  Leo wore a neutral expression, though I could tell he knew he’d finally been called out on something he shouldn’t have been doing.  What, exactly, that was, I had no clue.

 

    I sighed.  “What’s the matter?”

 

    Leo shook his head, remaining quiet for a second.  “There’s just a lot of shit going on outside this house, and I have no interest in bringing you into it.”

 

    I rolled my eyes, though I hadn’t expected the straightforward answer.  “You can’t honestly think that I haven’t heard the worst possible things going on in the streets — from  _your_  group, might I add.”

 

    His jaw clenched and I saw a hint of red on his cheeks.  “This isn’t  _my_  group, Phoebe!  I didn’t choose Jason — I owed a debt, and I’m still paying it.  Believe it or not, not everyone in Jason’s gang likes causing harm!  I would’ve thought you’d have noticed by now, since you’re still alive and well.”

 

    I blinked, surprised at his sudden outburst.  Up until then, I admit I hadn’t really thought of Jason’s group as anything but harmful.  Then again, everything I had experienced and heard about had been in support of that, with the exception of Leo.  I immediately felt bad, not excluding him from every insult I’d thrown at the guys, even after knowing how Leo ended up here.  But there must have been something bigger than me just categorizing him to have set him off like that, and from what he’d said it sounded like someone had been hurt.

 

    “Who was it?” I asked calmly, looking him dead in the eye.  If Jason had been out hurting people without reason while I was lying in his bed, I wanted to know about it.

 

    Leo’s forehead creased and the corners of his mouth tipped down.  He turned his face from fine.  “It doesn’t matter.”

 

    I didn’t say anything about it for a long moment, not wanting to press him in his already flustered state.  There were a few other things I wanted to ask him, and now that I had Leo’s attention I didn’t want to push him away.  For one, I wanted to know what Grant was up to.  I had to ask Leo, and even though I could talk with him more openly than with anyone here, secretly listening to a conversation between Grant and Carter wouldn’t really have me on a good foot with him.

 

    “How does Grant get off so easy?” I asked instead, carefully choosing my words after taking a sip from my cup.  “He seems like he makes more money than any of you, and I’m curious to know how.”

 

    If Grant made enough money to have Carter asking him to borrow several grand, pointing out that he would earn it back before he’d even feel the loss, business had to be booming for Grant.  It was hard to believe that Jason hadn’t found out yet, what with one of his guys potentially making more money than him.

 

    “How do you know Grant makes so much?” Leo questioned, his head snapping up with sharp eyes.

 

    I felt my stomach sink to my toes.  Mentally cursing, I realized that Grant never once had told me or anyone openly that he made a killing, nor did his clothes or his car or any of his belongings reflect the earnings.  Did Leo even know about his ‘business’, or whatever he wanted to call it?  If he didn’t, I was screwed.

 

    “I heard him talking on the phone with someone about borrowing money from him,” I said quickly, trying to play it off easily.  Apparently it was believable, because Leo’s stare let up a little.  He still watched me carefully, but I could breath again without worrying I’d lose his trust.

 

    He shrugged.  “I don’t know.  He has friends in the right places, I guess.”

 

     _Bullshit._

 

    “It’s a little selfish,” I tried to joke, “making all that money and keeping it to himself.”

 

    Leo’s expression darkened again.  “If I could buy my way out of here, I sure as hell wouldn’t give it to anyone else.”

 

    “What do you mean ‘buy my way out’?” I asked automatically, my forehead drawing together.

 

    He huffed.  “Grant owes Jason money, apparently more than he’s got at the moment.  He’s been paying him back ever since he got here, about two years ago.  That was about the time Jason started pulling guys together.”

 

    Carter was asking for thirty grand — at least, that’s what Grant had thought.  Why not put the money he had toward getting out from under Jason’s thumb?  Maybe he liked the protection here, or felt some sort of loyalty to Jason from being here this long.  Either way, it didn’t sound like the Grant Emmett always used to talk about.  Which reminded me…

 

    “I want to know how the guys are,” I said suddenly, dropping all thoughts of Grant — if Leo knew anything, he wasn’t going to say.  But maybe he had an idea of what was going on back home.

 

    Leo cocked an eyebrow.  “The guys?”

 

    I shook my head.  “My group.  I want to know what they’re doing.  I want to know how my brother is; how Peter is; how Chloe and Bella are—“  I swallowed hard.  “How Tyler is.”

 

    “I don’t know if I could get near them without getting shot,” he almost laughed, but his tone was bitter.  “Sorry, but I’m not too fond of the people you live with.”

 

    I gave a small, dry smile.  “I don’t really live with them anymore, do I?”

 

    Leo’s expression almost immediately softened.  Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair.  “I’ll see what I can do.  If they come at me though, I’m out.”

 

    “I’d like to think they wouldn’t,” I mumbled, closing my eyes for a moment and trying to pretend I didn’t miss them as much as I did.

 

 

 

••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••

 

 

    Two hours later, Leo was gone and the only person still in the house was me.  I had wondered for only a second where Jason had gone before bigger things had taken hold of my mind — my gun and my phone.  The possibility excited me, and I’d promptly gotten up and tried the door I’d seen Jason come out of.

 

    Cursing as I realized it was locked, I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples.  The door hadn’t been locked the first day I’d been here.  Obviously, there was something important in there that Jason didn’t want me to see.  Thankfully, I knew a way around it.

 

    As fast as I could, I ran up to Jason’s room and began digging around in my duffel.  I silently hoped I’d brought some in my hurry to get Jason out of my house, but wasn’t sure.  My hand closed around a plastic bag and I nearly cried out in relief, pulling out what I’d been looking for — bobby pins.

 

    One of the first things Sam had ever taught me was how to pick a lock.  I had bobby pins in my hair at the time, and his method of being resourceful had them out of my hair and jiggling into a locked door in a matter of seconds.  He’d shown me how to slide one under the tumblers and the other adjusting them, and finally it was my turn.  It had taken me a long time to get it, but seeing as Sam had locked us into the room, we weren’t getting out until I’d done it.  Finally, after he’d made me repeat the steps at least twenty times, I was ready for real world application.

 

    I crouched down in front of the door after jogging back downstairs and bent the first pin to slide it into the keyhole.  After a few seconds of jiggling it, the pin lodged all the way into the knob and I was free to slide the second one in.  Ten seconds later I had the door open and was standing in the doorway of the storage room, heart pounding.

 

    Boxes lined the walls, still sturdy and seemingly unused.  There was another group of them in the middle of them floor, and my first impulse was to reach for them.  After tugging the pins out of the lock, my feet carried me across the expanse and I immediately tore into the already open boxes.  Pulse hammering in my ears, I grunted in frustration when I realized the only thing in the first box was packing peanuts.  The next four boxes revealed the same thing, and I quickly switched from the middle of the room to the packaging lining the walls.

 

    By the sixth box I’d gone through, I was convinced there was nothing beside packaging in this room.  I closed my eyes and cursed under my breath, wondering how the hell Jason had gotten rid of my gun and phone under my nose.  He hadn’t destroyed them — I knew that because I’d held it in my hand one of the first days I’d been here.  Maybe he’d added my gun to his collection, though, and one of them was using it as I scrambled to look for it.  How dare he keep me from protecting myself and prevent me from talking to the guy I loved—

 

    I stopped short, pain stabbing through my chest.  Yes, I was entitled to be angry about my gun and my phone, but was I really justified in my anger?  Over the past week I’d been basically cheating on Tyler, something I didn’t realize would effect me this much.  But Jason felt different, different in a good way from Tyler.  Did I really love my boyfriend if I could discard two years with him for a guy I’d hated up until two weeks ago?  The answer was no, and I knew it.  It felt like being blindsided by a train.  I screamed in frustration and stomped my foot—

 

    Only to stop in surprise.  I looked down to where I’d heard the unnatural echoing sound from the wood beneath my feet.  Backing up, I inspected the section I’d been stepping on.  The single board was fairly large and had a notch in the corner — a notch large enough for a few fingers to pry up the wood and see what was underneath.  Heart thundering, I set aside all thoughts of Tyler and crouched down to pick it up.

 

    “Why the hell is this door open?”

 

    I nearly yelped, my body jolting in surprise.  It was Jason.  He was back.   _Shit_.

 

    Knowing that if he caught me I could count everything we’ve worked up to as lost, my stomach sank even closer to the floor.  Jason couldn’t find me, couldn’t know I’d been snooping around while he was gone.  He’d obviously seen the door wide open, so slipping out wasn’t an option — but hiding was.  Jason must not have seen  _me_  yet, since I wasn’t dead just yet.

 

    My eyes searched frantically for a good spot, but every good option involved moving a few boxes, taking up time I didn’t have.  Luckily, I was on the opposite side of the middle boxes, out of Jason’s vision.  Seeing no other way around it, I flattened myself to the floor and prayed he didn’t come into the room.

 

    “Dammit, Leo,” Jason mumbled to himself.  I could tell he was standing in the doorway, and closed my eyes tightly.

 

    A long pause met my ears and I was almost certain Jason had either seen or heard me.  Several seconds later I was proved wrong when the door drew closed and the lock clicked into place.  I heard his footsteps trail away and I jumped to my feet, running as softly as I could to the door.  pressing my ear against it, I listened.

 

    “Where the hell is Phoebe?” Jason asked, probably to one of the guys with him.  The proximity of his voice made it sound like he was in the kitchen.

 

    I took a deep breath, clenching and unclenching my fists.  I had to get out of this room, or Jason would know I was in here.  My hand fell to the knob, luckily able to unlock without a key from the inside.  Carefully, I turned it.

 

    Casting a last, anxious glance at the hollowed board, I squeezed my eyes shut and opened the door.  No one was in the living room, and I almost cried in relief.  My arm reached back to lock the handle and I pulled the door shut as quietly as I could.  Heart still thundering, I realized I had to calm down before facing Jason.

 

    Quickly, I turned and tip-toed up the stairs.  Within ten seconds I was in Jason’s room, and flung myself onto the bed.  Breathing deeply, I let out a nervous laugh.  It seemed so frequently that I ended up like this, sneaking around and running to Jason’s bed for comfort.  The sheets smelled like him, and I found myself breathing in the scent.  Did that mean something?

 

    “Phoebe!” Jason’s voice called from downstairs, bringing me out of my thoughts.

 

    I bit my lip and breathed slower, trying to calm my heart down.  “What?” I shouted back.

 

    I didn’t receive an answer.  All I heard were footsteps on the stairs, and for a moment I thought Jason was angry and only coming up to express it, but I realized he couldn’t know.  He hadn’t seen me, nor would ever know unless I told him.  I needed to just relax and make sure he wouldn’t think anything was wrong.

 

    The door to Jason’s bedroom opened and he stepped in, looking a little annoyed and tired.  I smiled, sitting up to face him.  His frustrated expression lessened when he saw me, and he kicked off his shoes in the bathroom on the way to his bed.  I watched as he walked over, face intent and searching mine.

 

    “You left before I said ‘goodbye’,” I told him, playing with the fingers of his right hand.  He stood between my legs as I sat at the edge of the bed, looking only at our hands.

 

    “Lost track of time,” he said.  “I had something an hour away, and was almost late getting there.”

 

    I smirked.  “I’d say I’m sorry, but I’d like to think I’m a distraction.”

 

    Jason’s open hand reached to my chin and tilted my gaze up to him.  “I’d like to be distracted just a little bit more.”

 

    Smiling and heart pounding for a different reason, I tugged him down until his lips met mine and the taste of him was flush against my mouth.

 

     _I’d like a distraction, too._  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	17. ~10.03~

     _“I don’t care about Tyler, not anymore,” I breathe, pressing my body impossibly close to Jason’s.  “You changed my mind.”_

 

_He kisses me again, his fingertips pressing into the small of my back to hold me tighter.  The tingling sensation is everywhere, consuming me and overwhelming my senses.  We’re a tangled mess of limbs on his mattress, touching everywhere we can._

 

_“You’re not sure,” Jason says against my lips.  “Even now, I can tell you still love him.”_

 

_“I don’t,” I almost plead with him to understand.  “Jason, it’s you.  You gave me a way out, and I’m taking it.”_

 

 _He shakes his head, turning it to the side so my mouth only brushes his cheek, decorated with scratchy stubble.  My chest tightens, willing him to hear me.  I want him —_ need _him — so badly it hurts.  How can he still believe I think about Tyler when he knows he does this to me?  My fingers reach for his jaw, turning his eyes to face mine, begging him to allow a kiss._

 

_“It’ll never work, Phoebe,” Jason says, and I feel like I’m tearing in two.  How can he say this?  “Not with everything that’s happened.  Look at all I’ve done, and all you haven’t done.  If we go through with this, everything about your life will change.”_

 

_My lip quivers.  “Not you.  You won’t change, Jason.”_

 

_A darkness falls over his eyes and I blink back tears.  Jason can protect me, make me feel things that Tyler never could.  What’s holding him back?_

 

_“I don’t know if I can…” he trails off, searching for words.  His bottom lip is taken between his teeth and I wince._

 

_“Just say it,” I tell him, preparing for the worst.  What can he not handle?  Jason has been through the worst.  Does he not feel the same way I do?  Am I just another girl he’s seduced and cast aside?_

 

_He closes his eyes.  “I’m afraid.”_

 

 _I take in a sharp breath._ Afraid _?  “Of what?”_

 

_Jason’s expression softens noticeably and for a moment I think I’ve gotten through to him.  I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I hope silently that he’s trying to work out ways for us to be together.  We have to be._

 

_Slowly, his beautiful brown eyes open and stare impossibly deep into mine._

 

_“Falling.”_

 

 

_•••_

 

 

I squeezed my eyes tightly, straining against the ripping feeling in my chest.  My hands closed around the fabric of Jason’s shirt and pulled him closer to me, wanting nothing but to feel him.  He was warm, comforting to the coldness in my extremities.  But where was the sensation I always had while pressing my lips to his?

 

    My eyes shot open as Jason groaned groggily, turning in a sleeping state.  I nearly gasped, realizing everything I’d just felt was a dream.  It couldn’t have been — why did I feel so empty?  But then again, when would I ever have said those things to Jason?

 

    With a sharp intake of breath, it finally registered in my brain that I’d told Jason I didn’t love Tyler anymore — at least, I had in the dream.  I scrambled to search for the part of me that knew my dream-self had been wrong, and was ashamed to find that I had to wait more than a few seconds to finally feel the warmth in my chest I experience when thinking of  Tyler.  This was wrong, and I knew it.  I couldn’t let two years of loving an amazing boy go down the drain.

 

     _Look at all I’ve done._

 

I stared at my hands, still balled in Jason’s shirt.  Slowly, I let the material go.  What had Jason done?   _A lot_.  Why hadn’t I thought about everything he’d done to hurt me in the time I’d spent with him up to this point?  I should still be in the basement at night; I should still glare at him every time he walks in the room; I should still remind him every day of how much harm he’d caused, in hopes of breaking through his stony surface.  But as I tried to work up the will to push away from him, I couldn’t.

 

    My eyes lingered on his sleeping features, relaxed and soft, though defined and portentous.  He was beautiful on the outside, but on the inside I thought I knew he was a monster — but was he really?  Everything I thought I’d known about him had come from my brother, someone who’d hated him from the moment he laid eyes on him.  How skewed was it?  From what Jason had shown me, Sam hadn’t even been  _close_  to right.  But would feeling drawn to Jason in the way I’d felt in the dream be betraying my brother and Markus and everyone else I cared about?

 

    I nearly smacked myself.   _Tyler_.  Whenever I thought of hurting people by my involvement with Jason, Tyler was last on the list of people I worried about.  How had I gotten so far off kilter?

 

    The only answer was that I’d been in this house too long.  I hadn’t gotten fresh air in almost a month, and the fact that I’d seen the same people without reprieve for that long was intimidating.  Maybe I was beginning to go crazy, forced by my own subconscious to overthink every single detail of my life in Jason’s house.  Maybe the feeling Jason gave me when we kissed was a figment of my imagination.

 

    I shook my head.  The second theory seemed just as unlikely as the first.  I wasn’t going crazy, and Jason made me feel almost high.  Both were true, but the dream had been just that — a dream.  I still loved Tyler, and I wasn’t blubbering over wanting to be with Jason.

 

     _Because I am with Jason._

 

Another sharp intake of breath coming from my mouth stopped my thoughts.  I wasn’t  _with_  Jason.  There wasn’t anything emotional between us.

 

    “Phoebe,” Jason mumbled, reaching out for me after I’d inched away from him.  Sleep was laced throughout his voice and his eyes were barely open, searching for my touch.

 

    A spur of butterflies in my stomach acted up and I scooted back toward him, despite everything I’d just thought about.  How was it that in the week since I’d decided to try to learn a few things about him, he’d figured out more than a few ways to make me forget about what I was thinking?  I didn’t understand the pull I had toward him.

 

    His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me tighter to his warm body.  My face pressed into his chest and I breathed in his scent, my hands gripping his shirt again.  Our legs tangled and Jason took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly.  We were in a pocket of warm air under the duvet, comfortable beyond belief.

 

    “I have to leave in half an hour,” he told me, sounding half asleep.  “Some people don’t know how to follow through on deals.”

 

    I nodded, the dream I’d had long forgotten.  “Xander was talking about it last night.  He says you’re taking more guys than usual to deal with it.”

 

    He shrugged.  “Grant is gone and I need Leo at the warehouse.  I’ll have Lucas, Xander, and Carter with me.”

 

    My forehead pulled together in confusion.  “I’ll be alone,” I said, more to myself than to Jason.

 

    He smiled a little.  “I trust you can entertain yourself for a few hours.”

 

    I nodded, a little surprised.  I hadn’t been alone in the house since last week, when I’d found the hollowed board in the room downstairs.  Jason didn’t usually leave me unattended, since he knew I was smart enough to get out.  What he didn’t know was that I’d actually found where he was keeping my gun and phone.  Why I hadn’t gone to get them sooner, I didn’t know.  It wasn’t only the fact that there was someone in the house stopping me from going after them, I knew that.

 

    Would Jason be leaving me alone if he knew?  Of course not.  I had to use the time he’d be giving me wisely.  But what was the reason I was being left alone?  Had Jason begun to trust me?  No, he trusted his alarm system more than he did me.   _That_  I knew for sure.

 

    “I should shower,” Jason sighed, moving to get up.

 

    I pulled him back, placing a kiss to his clothed chest.  “Stay for a little longer.  We just woke up.”

 

    A deep chuckle vibrated through his torso, tickling my lips.  “I’d love to, but I have to knock some sense into a couple idiots.”

 

    “They’ll probably remember you better if they catch a whiff of you,” I teased.  Jason actually smelled great, like a mix of cologne and laundry detergent.

 

    A long kiss was placed to my forehead, leaving behind a tingling sensation.  I smiled reflexively.  Jason reached his hand to my chin and tipped my head up, allowing a better angle to press another prolonged kiss to my lips.  My mouth began to move with his and I snaked a hand up to the back of his neck, tugging lightly on the hair at his nape.  Jason’s fingers traced down my sides and pressed into the bare skin of my thighs.  My shorts had ridden up, but I was too distracted to pull them back down.

 

    “Phoebe,” he mumbled against my lips.  “I have to shower.”

 

    “Mmm,” I hummed, relishing the feeling I received when touching Jason.  A cry of protest left my mouth as he forced himself away, squeezing my waist before turning to walk to the bathroom.  He closed himself in, and soon I heard the water running.

 

    Jason was leaving me alone.  The fact that he was letting this happen showed that he was beginning to trust me, at least to a certain extent.  He knew that I probably wasn’t going to try to leave — but what he didn’t know was that I didn’t necessarily have to leave the house to start my escape.  A deep breath of air was taken into my lungs.   _Escape._   The word sounded almost foreign, washed away by a month of being in Jason’s custody.  It hadn’t hit me until then that I’d began losing faith in the boys I used to live with.  Granted, I had no way of communicating with them, so I didn’t know how hard they’d been trying for me, but it couldn’t have been a priority for them; they knew where Jason’s place was, and all they really had to do was storm in to get me out.

 

    My heart fluttered at the thought of just stretching my legs on the sidewalk, breathing fresh, unfiltered air and feeling the sun on my skin.  I was overjoyed at the thought of just being outside, free; the addition of seeing the boys I’d missed made it all the more alluring.  But a sick feeling settled in my stomach when I thought of facing Tyler after what I’d done with Jason.  I couldn’t possibly look Tyler in the eye the same way after the way I’d let myself feel about Jason — but another part of me said I couldn’t possibly abandon whatever it was that Jason and I had.

 

    But did we really have anything?  I had yet to figure it out.  The logical part of me said no, but everything else screamed yes.  It couldn’t be like one of those stories where the hostage ends up loving her captor — of course not, because I could hardly imagine loving Jason.  But I — that is, the sensation of butterflies in my stomach — couldn’t help but feel something more.

 

    I pushed up from the mattress, wanting to distract myself from my thoughts.  My feet carried me out into the hall and down the stairs, and came to rest in front of the stove.  I’d sliced tomatoes and bits of bacon and thrown them into a pan with eggs, and a few minutes later had breakfast made.  I scooped it into a bowl and shoved a fork into the mix just as Jason came down, smelling like body wash.

 

    I pushed the bowl toward him on the island and he caught it, smiling slightly.  “Is this for me?”

 

    “I thought I’d make something to keep you until you get back,” I grinned, leaning against the edge of the counter.

 

    Jason came to stand in front of me, legs on either side of my crossed ones.  He stood several inches taller, looking down at me.  I breathed deeply, able to smell the scents of aftershave from where I was resting.  His eyes flashed to my lips and he dipped to kiss me.  My hand reached up to cup the back of his neck, gripping the hairs the grew at his nape.

 

    A door downstairs slammed and I heard footsteps on the stairs.  Reflexively I went to pull away from Jason.  We’d been fairly conserved about sharing kisses if front of the guys, but this time Jason put his hand to my back to hold me in places.  He bit my lip playfully and I laughed lightly, aware of the form now standing in the kitchen with us.

 

    “I’ll pretend I’m not confused,” Blondie’s voice said, “and just go get a jacket.”  He walked through the kitchen quicker than necessary, and soon was in the living room.  “We’re ready by the way, Jason.  We’ll leave when you’re done here.”

 

    I rolled my eyes and managed to pull away from Jason.  “Finish eating and go.  Some idiots need to be taught a lesson.”

 

    He nodded, picking up the bowl I’d made for him.  “It might be better if we’re on time — puts a little more threat into our words.”

 

    Blondie jogged back through and hardly stopped before going downstairs and into the garage.  Jason finished his breakfast and gave me a long kiss before making his way down as well.  I thought about what he’d be doing today, and was surprised when a bit of anxiety made its way into my chest.  It was the kind of feeling I always got when Sam or Tyler left on runs, like I was worried they’d be hurt in the process.

 

    “Don’t die,” I blurted after Jason.  This was also what I always said to them, showing what little I could of my worry for the boys I cared most about.  Why had I said it to Jason?

 

    “Not planning on it,” he laughed back up the stairs.  I stayed quiet, and a few seconds later the garage door slammed behind him.

 

    I was alone in the house, and I could feel myself begin to get attacked by my own thoughts.

 

 

••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••

 

 

    I bit my lip as I stood in front of the storage room door three hours later, bobby pins in hand.  I’d been avoiding it for that long, for a reason I didn’t know.  Maybe it was nerves of what having power back meant for me in this house.  But inside, under a hollowed board, was my phone and my gun.  The realization that I was so close made my heart speed up, primed with anticipation.

 

    I stopped so I was eye level with the knob and shoved one of the pins into the keyhole.  Jiggling the other until it made its way to the end, I twisted the knob and pushed the door open.  The bobby pins dropped to the floor and I hesitated only a moment before stepping into the room.

 

    My feet tapped around where I’d felt the hollowed board a week ago.  It took me about thirty seconds to locate it, and I bent down beside the section of floor to search for a notch.  I found one in the corner and immediately reached for it, not pausing before throwing it up and letting out a long breath as I looked down.

 

    My automatic thought was that this couldn’t be the only loose board in the room.  There had to be more, with the amount of weapons I knew Jason had.  All that was below me were five hand guns and a phone — my phone.  I lunged for it, but stopped myself short.

 

    What was holding me back?  Jason.  What if Tyler had replied to the text I’d sent him almost a month ago, saying he was trying as hard as he could to save me?  I should’ve been overjoyed, but I couldn’t bear to see something like that after everything that’s happened since then.  The guilt would attack me more than it already had.  Worse yet, what if there wasn’t a single message from Tyler?  What if he’d realized when I left that he’d been exhausted by my presence and had been enjoying the time I’d been away?  What if he’d fallen out of love with me and had been with another girl all the time I’d been worrying about cheating on him?

 

    I told myself to shut up, shocked by my thoughts and jumping to conclusions.  None of those things were true, except the part where I’d been cheating on him.  I was being irrational.  The most crazy thing of all had been my questioning Tyler’s love for me.  Why had that even been a doubt of mine?

 

     _Because that’s what’s happening to you._

 

My jaw went slack as the thought flashed across my mind.  That wasn’t true, not in the least.  I still loved Tyler, contrary to what my mind had just told me and the dream I’d had this morning.  I couldn’t fall out of love with someone in a month; it wasn’t possible, nor would I let it happen.

 

    Now angry with myself, I reached for my phone.  After taking it into my grasp I pressed the power button, heart racing and anticipation killing me as it took a good minute to start.  When it did, a weight as heavy as a bus dropped in my stomach.  My chest heaved and I let the phone drop in my lap.

 

    Nothing.

 

    Not one single message from Tyler.  Everything I feared came rushing back into my mind.  What if Tyler  _was_  relieved by having me gone?  His efforts to get me back hadn’t been noticeable at all.  Maybe it was because he  _was_  sleeping with someone else, so he didn’t have the time or the care to think about me.  The thought felt like a hole blown in my chest.

 

    He couldn’t have even sent me a message to let me know he had gotten the one I’d sent him?  Or a reason why he couldn’t come get me?  My fists clenched, shaking with anger.  My hurt had a way of doing that; turning from pain to anger quicker than I could control.  But I had a reason to be angry this time — either Tyler was cheating on me, or he didn’t care.  But what was the difference?

 

    If nothing was stopping Tyler, what was to stop me?  I could do whatever I wanted, no matter where I was.  Besides, if just kissing Jason had such a great effect on me — something Tyler could never hope to do — what would doing more feel like?

 

    Hardly reluctantly, I shut my phone off and dropped it back into the hollow space.  The board fell back into place and I stood, anger fueling me forward.  It didn’t matter that I’d found my gun.  My purpose upon finding it had been to get out, but that’d changed after I’d seen my phone.  Why would I have gone back to place where even my own brother hadn’t missed me enough to send a text?  At least at Jason’s, I’d been purposely taken into the house.

 

    Making sure the knob was locked, I all but slammed the door.  I could get back in whenever I wanted — and I didn’t want to then.  What I wanted —  _needed_  — was for Jason to be home.

 

    As if thinking it made it a reality, the garage door kicked to a start underfoot.  My fists unclenched as I waited for the guys to come up.  It was a long two minutes I sat in the bean bag chair, still steaming from realizing I hadn’t gotten one message from Tyler or Sam.

 

    Jason came into the living room first, eyes landing on me and a grin making its way onto his face.  I rose almost immediately, meaning to put a smile in my expression, but I didn’t know if I succeeded.  Before he had the chance to question me, I took his hand and began tugging him toward the stairs — toward his room.

 

    “What are you–“

    “How was the run?” I interrupted as we began climbing the stairs.  I didn’t want to be asked what I was doing, because I had no idea.

 

    It wasn’t until we reached the top that he answered.  “Good,” he said, obviously confused.  “We talked some sense into them, at least.”

 

    I didn’t reply as we swept into Jason’s room and I kicked the door closed.  He stopped in front of me and I flung myself at him, connecting our lips and already tugging at the black shirt he wore.  His hands found my waist after shucking it off, and pushed me away.

 

    “What’s going on?”

 

    “Don’t ask questions,” I breathed, and walked us back so Jason came to sit on the edge of his bed.

 

    I pushed my lips to his again, pressing my fingers into his abdominal muscles before hooking them in his belt loops.  His lips moved against mine and I became almost light-headed, overwhelmed with the sensation of Jason.  Before I knew it, my shirt was on the floor and I was straddling his waist.  I felt his hands exploring my middle, sending goosebumps all over my skin.  I let my own search him, finding the button of his jeans and tugging at it.

 

    They were on the floor in seconds, and Jason hooked his arms under my legs.  He carried me to the head of his bed and pressed my back against the mattress, his hips falling between my thighs and his palms pressing to the clasp of my bra.  I was breathless, but couldn’t stop touching him.  It was obvious he couldn’t keep his hands off either — no matter where they went, his hands were always flush to my skin.  It wasn’t until his touch shifted to the waistband of my sweatpants that an anxious feeling settled in my stomach.

 

    “You’re sure?” Jason mumbled against my lips, as if he could sense my apprehension.  His thumbs pressed against my hip bones, sending a chill up my spine.

 

    Was I sure?  I hadn’t done this before, and I didn’t know if I wanted to learn while I was angry.  After all, it might have been anger fueling me; who was I kidding?  Of course I was being driven by anger.  I was frustrated that I’d been withholding from Jason with the thought that I couldn’t betray Tyler like that.  But his lack of communication with me was evidence enough that he had no care.  I was doing what felt right to me; Jason felt  _right_.

 

    I barely managed to answer Jason between breaths.  “Yes.”


	18. ~10.16~

    I woke up slowly, hair disheveled and comforter wrapped around my middle impossibly tight.  Jason was beside me, still completely asleep.  His arm was behind my head, keeping me within his reach even while sleeping.  I noticed my palm flush against his bare chest and blushed fiercely, thinking about what had happened the night before — what had happened the  _several_ nights before.

 

    I’d been right about how Jason would make me feel if we went further.  I felt unstoppable, like I’d been walking on water; flying, even.  The effects had lasted even two weeks after that first night, and didn’t seem like they had any plans of stopping.  Jason was incredible.

 

    I knew I should get up and have a shower, and definitely change the sheets on the bed, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave Jason’s presence.  I’d been insanely happy lately, and I knew he was the reason why.  Sure, it’d been out of my bitterness that I’d finally opened myself up, but I was glad I had.

 

    Jason stirred and I looked up at him, admiring his features.  He seemed younger, happier when he was asleep, like a teenager who’d just gotten his license.  It was odd to think that he was twenty, my brother’s age.  It made me feel a hell of a lot younger, seeing as I only turn seventeen a month from then.

 

    I let out a long breath at the realization.  A month and a half ago, my birthday felt like forever away.  Now it seemed impossibly close, the days here blurring together.  Would I still be here in a month?  I didn’t know, and I didn’t know if I even wanted to think about it.

 

    Jason moved again, and I knew he was waking up.  Smiling, I leaned up and kissed his mouth, waiting as he came around.  I figured he was fully awake when his hand reached up to fist the shirt I was wearing, one of his.  Laughing, I kissed him for a second longer before pulling back.

 

    “Good morning to you too,” he mumbled, his voice raspy from sleep.

 

    “It’s probably about one,” I corrected.  “We tend to sleep in a lot.”

 

    “With good reason,” he replied, pulling me down to kiss him again.  I felt his fingers slip under the hem of his shirt, brushing against my sides.

 

    “Don’t you think it’s time we actually left your room?” I asked, my words muffled by the pressure of his lips.

 

    He swept me under his body, his legs straddling my hips.  Jason’s hands pressed into the pillow on either side of my head as I gasped lightly, surprised by his movement.

 

    “Not at all,” he nearly growled, biting down on my lip.

 

    I smiled and managed to pull back.  “I have to shower.  I don’t smell good.”

 

    He dropped his head to my shoulder, mouth kissing patterns along the clothed area and making their way to my neck.  “You smell like me.”

 

    I wrinkled my nose playfully, but my stomach fluttered at his tone.  “Exactly.”

 

    Jason squeezed my side before rolling off of me and onto the mattress beside my form.  “Fine,” he said.

 

    I grinned and patted his stomach before padding into the bathroom.  Turning the water on as hot as I could stand, I breathed in the steam and sighed deeply.  Every day I spent in Jason’s house, I became more comfortable with the idea.  Ever since I could remember, my brother had been telling me about all the bad things Jason supposedly did, but since I’d been here his statements had proved nothing but false.  Jason did nothing worse than what he had to.  Did I trust Jason yet, though?  Not completely.

 

    I’d only  _really_  known Jason for a month and a half, which put things into perspective when thinking about all that’d happened in that amount of time.  It didn’t make sense, but I felt like I’d known Jason for years at this point.  

 

    I washed my hair and body, then dried off before putting on a pair of dark gray sweatpants and a baby blue t-shirt.  Lately, I’d just gone for lazy days around Jason’s.  I wasn’t going anywhere, so I saw no point in trying to keep up my look every day.  The guys all knew what I looked like when I dressed up, so I didn’t feel overly bad when they saw me looking like I’d just gotten mauled by a cat.

 

    Jason had a habit of disappearing when I was in the shower, and I wasn’t surprised to find his bedroom empty when I reappeared.  I threw my wet hair into a bun and walked downstairs, finding him in the kitchen talking to Xander and Blondie.  While I walked to the fridge I listened to their conversation, interested in any news from the outside world.

 

    “Stanley showed up dead last night,” Xander grumbled, talking a drink from a mug filled with coffee.  I could smell the rest of the pot on the counter opposite me, and moved to pour myself some.

 

    “Cole says Riley did too,” Blondie added.  “I guess they got in with the wrong people this time around.”

 

    “Or they just overdosed on whatever shit their injecting now,” Jason snorted.

 

    “That reminds me,” Xander spoke up between sips.  “Tim is still in the ICU.  Whatever he took, it messed him up bad.  They don’t know if he’s coming back or not.”

 

    The statement triggered a memory.  Emmett had gone to the hospital — the ER, I hoped — after I’d agreed to come with Jason that first night.  I’d asked Leo to give me an update on him, but so far Leo hadn’t followed through.  I was curious, worried for a boy I’d spent a lot of time with.  He was like a brother to me, and I care if he was okay.

 

    After taking another drink from the mug in my hand, I pushed off from the counter and headed for the stairs.  I figured since he wasn’t in the kitchen, Leo would be in his room.  Sure enough, when I tapped on his bedroom door, he gave a shout to come in.

 

    “Hey,” I said, tapping my fingers against my cup.

 

    He gave me a fleeting glance before burying his nose back into his laptop.  “Hi.”

 

    I took another few steps into his room and sat on a chair in the corner, crossing my legs and facing him.  After waiting a few seconds for him to finish whatever he was doing, I cleared my throat and set my mug on a table beside me.

 

    “Did you ever figure out how Emmett was?” I asked hopefully.  I noticed his frame tense a little, and my stomach began to churn.  Did he have bad news?  No matter if he’d messaged me or not, I wanted to know if my boys were okay.

 

    “I don’t know where he is,” Leo replied.  His response sounded calculated.

 

     I bit the inside of my cheek.  “Are you sure?  You haven’t even heard anything from people beside my place?”

 

    He looked up from his screen, meeting my gaze completely.  “I’m sure.  I haven’t heard anything.  If I had, I would’ve told you first thing.”

 

    I let out a long breath.  I believed Leo — he had no reason to lie to me.  The fact that Emmett was gone again didn’t even surprise me.

 

    “Sounds just like him,” I laughed lightly.  “Even with a bullet wound in his leg, he doesn’t like being held down.”

 

    “I never knew him,” Leo said shortly, then looked back at his screen dismissively.

 

    My forehead pulled together and I grabbed my mug again.  Leo had been like this lately; disconnected and irritable.  I didn’t know why, and it was beginning to annoy me.  Out of everyone in this house, I’d definitely been the nicest to him, and he chose to take whatever emotions he had out on me?  It was hardly fair.

 

    “Are you okay?” I asked him before I could stop myself.

 

    He nodded.  “Yeah.”

 

    I watched him carefully, but he avoided my eyes.  “You’re sure you–“

 

    “I’m fine, Phoebe,” he cut me off.

 

    I blinked, then stood.  If he wasn’t going to give me a straight answer, I wasn’t going to sit there and be shaken off.  I closed the door behind me and made my way back downstairs, throwing myself into a bean bag.

 

    Jason came around the corner and smiled at me, which I returned after sipping from my cup.  He walked up and tapped my foot with his, then kicked it playfully.  I nudged his foot back with a small laugh.

 

    “You look upset,” he said.

 

    His words confused me.  Normally I did a good job of hiding my emotions.  Only people that’d been around me longer than Jason had could pick up what I was feeling.  Either I was getting a little soft — which wasn’t likely — or he’d been watching me close enough to learn a few things about me.

 

    “I’m alright,” I told him, smiling brighter.

 

    He collapsed onto the bean bag beside me, moving to kiss just under my jaw.  I curled my leg around his and nestled into the crook of his shoulder, welcoming the extra warm body.

 

    “You’re lying,” he said against my skin.  “Was it something I said?”

 

    I sucked in a breath as he bit a soft spot in my neck, scrunching up my shoulder and shying away from him.  He chuckled deeply and wrapped an arm around my middle.

 

    “You didn’t do anything,” I said truthfully.  “I promise.”

 

    “Then I hope I won’t add to your pile by saying I have to leave in a little bit,” he told me.

 

    I leaned back to look at him.  “Leave?”

 

    “Just for a couple hours.  Afraid you’ll miss me?”  He winked, causing my smile to reappear.

 

    “As long as you’re not gone overnight,” I said, throwing him a smirk.

 

    “Trust me,” Jason laughed.  “I definitely wouldn’t miss a night with you.”

 

 

••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••    ••

 

 

    I was staring at the ceiling in Jason’s room, relaxing on the bed when I heard the first wave of raised voices.  I recognized them to be Grant’s and Carter’s right away, from the last argument they’d had almost three weeks ago.  They hadn’t had a conversation since, at least not that I knew of.  I’d been curious to know how Grant was making all of his money, apparently enough to lend Carter thirty grand for a new car.  I also had yet to figure out of Carter had actually gotten the money from him; there hadn’t been an uproar from Jason, so I assumed they’d worked something out.

 

    I sat up as I heard a thump from the level below me, and stood when another shout rang out.  My feet moved me faster than I could say no, and soon I was listening at the top of the stairs.  I didn’t want to try walking down, in fear that they’d hear me — though I probably shouldn’t have been worried.  Carter’s voice almost shook the house.

 

    “Where is she, Conn?” he asked forcefully, though his tone suggested he already knew where whoever the girl was, was.

 

    “She’s not here, obviously,” Grant shot.  “If you were planning on looking it the basement, or something.”

 

    Could they have been talking about Carter’s girl?

 

    “I know she’s not here,” Carter scoffed.  “But you probably sent her on down the line, just like you do with every other girl.”

 

    “I don’t  _send them on_  against their will,” Grant bit at him.  “I ask, and they agree.”

 

    “Like hell they do!  You probably trick them into it, feed them bullshit about being set for life!”

 

    “Get off my case, Carter!  I wouldn’t be complaining about jack squat right now, since I’m the one who paid for your new car.”

 

    “You  _did_  send her on, didn’t you,” Carter hissed.

 

    “So what if I did?” Grant shouted back.  I didn’t know what ‘sending her on’ meant, but by the way Carter was acting, it couldn’t have been good.  “She said yes, and I didn’t let her stick around to change her mind.”

 

    “You son of a bitch!” Carter yelled, and a heard a glass smash.  “What if that girl had a life outside the few hours you saw her?  Not every girl that you sleep with is a homeless wreck!”

 

    “That’s good to know,” he snorted.

 

    “How can you take this so lightly?  You’re ruining lives, Grant, all for the sake of extra cash.  I bet you’re not even paying Jason back for that five-hundred grand you owe him either!”

 

    My jaw went slack.  Is that why Grant was in this house?  Because he owes Jason money?  Five-hundred-thousand dollars was a hell of a lot to pay back.

 

    “I can’t just pay him full-out!” Grant shouted, his tone becoming defensive.  “The last time I tried to do that, he found out what I had going.  Not only did he not take the money, but he made me swear to cut the business.”

 

    “Is that what it is to you?” Carter challenged, ice in his voice.  “ _Business_?”

 

    “I have girls  _begging_  to be a part of it!” Grant almost laughed.  “I can’t say no when they’d just go to someone else anyway.  At least my end doesn’t treat them like worthless toys.”

 

    “That is complete and utter  _bullshit_!  You’re selling them around, probably not even giving them a cut of what you make.  What do you do what they want out, Conn?  Tell them yes?”  A bitter laugh came from Carter’s throat.  “Like hell, you would.”

 

    My forehead pulled together.  Selling them around?  Was Grant selling girls into a sex trade?  I shuddered at the idea, horrified by what that would mean for the girls.  My fists clenched as I thought about the ‘business’, or whatever Grant had called it.  That was slavery, not a job.

 

    “They get food and shelter; the things they’d been asking me for when they came to me.  Besides, I don’t even see them past a week after they sign on.  After they’re done with me, they’re not my problem.”

 

    “Do you honestly think that’s a way for a girl to live?” Carter spat.  “Why would anyone ask for that?”

 

    “Plenty of reasons!  Daddy issues, Mommy issues, boyfriend troubles, money issues; Tally certainly had no problem on her way through–“

 

    “What the hell did you just say?” Carter interrupted, the most threat in his voice I’d heard so far.  His tone sent a chill up my spine.

 

    Grant cursed loudly, and the sound of glass breaking sounded through the house again.

 

    “ _Answer_  me, dammit!”

 

    “She went through before I could stop her,” Grant replied.  He sounded almost ashamed, yet still held his self-justifying tone.  “She’d come through with someone else, and when she ended up in front of me I tried to talk her out of it.  Have you noticed she hasn’t been in touch with you for a week?  That’s about when she refused to come out.”

 

    “You fucking  _bastard_!”

 

    I could barely blink before I heard the sound of a fist connecting with flesh.  Even from where I sat stunned on the stairs, I could hear the crush of a breaking nose.  There was another crash and a door banged open downstairs.  I stood abruptly as Leo shot out of his room behind me, and before he could stop me I darted down the stairs.  Blondie was ahead of me, lunging between the two boys to try to break up their fight.  They were backed up against the table, Carter’s fists bloodied with what was gushing from Grant’s lip and nose.

 

    Leo shoved past me to help Blondie, and Xander came barreling up from the lower level.  Leo supported Grant’s sagging form a good ten feet away from Carter, who had to be restrained by both Xander and Blondie.  I stood back, stunned by the argument the two had just had, and what Grant had really been doing.  He deserved what Carter had just done to him, and probably more.  How dare he sell girls into a sex trade?

 

    “You’re dead!” Carter bellowed.  “You hear me, Conn?   _Dead_!”

 

    The garage door banged open downstairs.  We must not have heard the large door open over Carter’s shouts.  Soon Jason came running up, a wildly angry expression on his features.

 

    “What the hell is going on here?” he questioned, shooting a glare between Grant and Carter.

 

    Carter spat at Grant.  “That fucker is at it again!  He never dropped that lowlife business he had!  And now he’s sold Tally into it!  He sent her on as a fucking prostitute, and now she’s not coming back!”

 

    The weight of what that meant for him must have fallen on his shoulders, because after he said it Xander and Blondie were trying to hold him up, not back.  My eyes flashed to Jason, who had turned red in the face from anger.  His fists were shaking at his sides, and I was surprised Grant hadn’t dropped dead from the cold stare Jason was holding on him.

 

    “Get out,” he hissed.  The words sent a shudder through me.  “Get out before I let him kill you, and don’t come back.”

 

    “I fuckib lib here!” Grant blubbered around his swollen lip.

 

    “Not anymore,” Jason growled.  “You lied to me, and I’d leave before I set Carter on you, if I were you.”

 

    “You’re letting him  _go_?” Carter shouted.  “That scum needs to die!”

 

    “Go,” Jason commanded.  “Leo, let him go.  He can stand on his own.  Don’t bother grabbing your things,Conn — including your car.”

 

    Leo’s support left Grant and he stumbled slightly, dizzy from Carter’s blows.  “I’b got nobere to go,” he said, leaning against the corner.  Blood now trailed down his neck and was smeared across his face.  He was a complete mess.

 

    “You should’ve thought of that before you decided to cross me.  Now get the fuck out of my house.”

 

    “But I–“

 

    “You have twenty seconds.”

 

    Grant screamed in frustration and hobbled through the kitchen, stumbling down the first step before catching himself on the railing.  He made his way down, and was out the door with a final, deafening thud.

 

    Ten seconds passed in utter silence before Carter completely collapsed, falling into a mess of sobs and rubbing his face with bloodied knuckles.

 


	19. ~10.17~

Xander and Blondie managed to get Carter to his room, where I heard the shower turn on a few minutes later. I could hear enraged, sad sobs from the kitchen, where Jason and I still stood. Leo had disappeared into his room, and the other two boys sat talking quietly in the living room.

Jason was mumbling angrily to himself, his back tense as he gripped the edge of the island with both hands. He was facing away from me, but I could picture the crease in his forehead from agitation. I’d seen it enough times. I crept up and rested my fingers just above the elbow of his right arm, hoping to break through his brooding. I was distraught and angry at Grant too, but Carter and Jason had taken care of it. Granted, Jason’s pride was probably hurt from being lied to for that long, but I didn’t want him to dwell on it too much. Grant was out of their lives now — Jason had made that perfectly clear.

“Jason,” I said quietly, moving closer when he didn’t object to my touch. “Let’s go upstairs.”

I didn’t want to talk to him in the discomfort of the kitchen, where everything had just happened. When he didn’t answer, I moved around him and cleaned up a majority of the glass dishes that’d broken with Carter’s fury. After dumping the shards into the trash, I straightened the chairs and approached Jason again. He didn’t say anything to me, but complied when I took his hand into my own. Our fingers seemed to fit perfectly as I squeezed his hand lightly, and I tugged him through the living room — ignoring the glances of Xander and Blondie — and up the staircase.

I did my best to tune out Carter as we entered Jason’s room, and I closed the door behind us. Jason automatically shucked his shirt off, tossing it across the room and striding into the bathroom. The door closed with a deafening sound and I stood for a long second before hearing his shower turn on. I bit my lip and walked over to the bed, grabbing sweatpants and a t-shirt from my duffel beside it. After changing, I tossed my clothes into the laundry bag Jason had given me and nestled into the sheets, waiting for him.

It was ten minutes before I heard the water shut off, and five more before the door opened and Jason and a cloud of steam rolled out. Only a towel was slung around his hips and I blushed as I admired the curves of his muscles. He didn’t seem to notice my blatant staring as he strolled into his closet, silent as he shrugged on clothing. Jason reappeared a few seconds later with black sweatpants and a fitted white tee, drying his hair with the towel he’d been wearing.

I watched as he dropped the towel into a laundry basket of his own and shuffled to his bed, sliding in next to me. My arm wrapped around his middle and I hooked my leg in his as I rested my head on his shoulder. His hand found my hair and he played with the ends, something he’d started doing about a week ago. I loved the feel of slight tugging on my hair; most nights it put me to sleep.

“Is there anything you can do?” I said quietly, my eyes trained on the curtained window.

“About what?” he asked. His tone had calmed down, and would almost pass for normal if I could have ignored the slightly vacant hint to it.

“About Tally,” I replied. “I think that’s her name… She didn’t know what she signed up for.”

There was a long pause, the silence only filled by the sound of our breathing. I noticed Carter’s noises of pain had died off, leaving the rest of the house in a sort of eerie quiet, considering the weight of what’d just happened. I wondered if everyone beside Jason had known Grant had continued his sex trafficking, even after Jason had told him to get out of it. If that were the case, there were bound to be consequences for all of them.

“Pieces of shit like Grant cover their tracks well,” Jason told me. “One minute you’ve got a lead, the next they’ve set up shop somewhere completely different. Almost impossible to follow.”

I sighed. “You can’t do anything?”

Jason waited a long time to reply, no doubt trying to choose his words to best fit the seriousness of the conversation.

“I wish I could. That kind of thing is disgusting and degrading, and I’m ashamed to think someone like Grant was under my roof all this time and continuing without my noticing. But even if I could track the chain, it would be nearly impossible to pinpoint one girl out of all the women sold into it. Even more, the people who run it are powerful.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. My stomach was beginning to churn for Carter and Tally. The whole situation was terrible. “You’re powerful.”

He gave a short laugh. “I don’t have the means to tear the chain apart like that. If I did, I would. I’ve had friends sold into the trade, and the stories you hear from people are horrifying.”

I let out a deep breath. “I grew up thinking you could do anything you wished,” I said before I could stop myself. “My brother was convinced you got whatever you wanted, and I guess he more or less convinced me too.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice,” he chuckled.

I pulled myself tighter against him. “You did the right thing, dumping Grant on his ass.”

“I should’ve done it the first time I found out about it,” Jason said, still tugging the ends of my hair. “I was too consumed with the fact he owed me money to care much about anything else at that point.”

“How did Grant end up here?” I asked slowly. I was curious as to why Grant owed him five-hundred grand, and how he could’ve gotten that far over his head.

“You say that like this is a bad place,” he replied, the hint of a smile on his features.

I shook my head and looked away. “I know he owes you a lot of money; why?”

He waited before giving me an answer. “He had borrowed a lot from about ten different people when I met him, and the amount totaled up to more than he could pay off in at least a few years. A few of them teamed up one night and jumped him at a bar, and I was impressed by the way he’d defended himself. I saw potential, and I reached for it. I paid them all off, and Grant showed up at my place that night.”

“Just like that?” I asked curiously. “He didn’t do anything beside fight off a few guys.”

I felt Jason shrug. “In my mind, I’d just won myself a good fighter. I liked to think he was loyal, since he took everything I gave him — including my trust — and used it wisely. He’d even been set on paying me back, and I agreed until I noticed how big the sums of money were when they came in. I dug a little deeper, and found out he was linked to the sex trade going on around here. Then I blew my top.”

There was a long break where neither of us said anything. Grant must have been making an insane amount of money. It was crazy just how it could effect some people.

“Does he still owe you anything?”

“He was about one-hundred grand away from paying it off, but I count it all as loss now. Money gained through selling people is tainted. I felt sick handling it the last time I found Grant out, and this time is no different.”

“I wonder what that means for him now,” I said aloud, more to myself than to Jason.

“Knowing Grant, he’ll be back against his better judgement, hoping to put a bullet in each of our heads,” Jason told me solemnly. “He knows every way in and out of this house. It’s not worth changing the alarm system and locks on the warehouse if he knows how each of us fight and can be in and out in under five minutes. It’s not smart to stay around here.”

My forehead pulled together. “What are you planning to do?”

“I have another house in Oakland,” Jason said. “The only one here who knows for sure where it is, is me, and now you.” He ran a hand over his hair. “Tomorrow, we’ll have to head up there with a majority of our things. The guys know me well enough that they’re probably already packing their things together. We’ll do the same in the morning, and be out of here by eigth.”

“He’ll think you’re running scared,” I told Jason. Truthfully, I thought he was running scared. Grant was one person. Jason had himself and four other guys, not to mention a whole stockpile of guns.

“He’ll think I’m an idiot if I don’t,” he snorted, though I felt his fist clench as it rested against my back. “What he’s gotten himself into has earned him a lot of allies, and even without what Grant’s bound to tell them, I’ve got a target on my back. Anyone who’s got a problem with me will jump at the chance to get inside here.”

I knew — probably better than anyone — that people would leap for the opportunity to take a shot at Jason. If Grant were going to provide it, then he was right; we needed to leave.

I blinked. We needed to leave? When had I started grouping Jason’s group and I together? I was a separate person, the categorization not supposed to touch me. Had I been here so long that it felt like I was actually included? A month and a half didn’t seem that long, but to me I’d been here forever.

“Will you be ready to leave if you have a little bit of time to throw your things together tomorrow?” Jason asked, bringing me out of my thoughts. “Or do you need to start now?”

I chewed the inside of my cheek, thinking of all the bags of clothing Jason had bought for me. I only had one duffel, already full with my own. Sure, I could have it packed, but in what?

“I’ll need a few bags,” I told him.

“Done.”

With that, he rolled out of our embrace and knelt down beside the bed. I felt the cold air hit me from his absence, and clutched the sheets tighter to my body. As his hands dug around under the bed, I heard the scrapes of fabric against wood. Soon Jason had pulled out three new duffels, all the same size as my own. He stood and set them on the bed where he’d previously been lying.

“Here,” he said, patting the stack before walking toward his closet. Jason didn’t speak again, and I figured he wouldn’t when I began to hear hangers sliding against racks and the thump of clothing against the floor.

I decided I should probably start packing too, since the last thing I wanted was to rush in the morning. As I slid down from Jason’s bed I pulled the new duffels with me and dragged them to where I’d started stacking the new clothes, a few feet from the bathroom door. Two at a time, I pushed shirts and jeans into one bag. When it was full I did the same for the other two, and several minutes later I had everything away. I left one set of clothes out for tomorrow morning, knowing I’d want to shower before leaving.

Slowly I made my way back to the bed. I sat back against the headboard, waiting for Jason to come back as well. A few minutes later he did, tossing his bags to where mine were, near the door leading to the hallway. His feet took him to the edge of the bed, tugging on the duvet as he kneeled onto the mattress. A smile tugged at my mouth as he came to hang above me, face hovering over mine with his knees resting on either side of my hips.

“You left a change of clothes out,” he stated, his lips brushing mine.

Something pulled at my stomach, a combination of breathlessness and nerves. I smiled softly. “I don’t want to wear the same clothes tomorrow as I did the night before.”

His teeth snagged my bottom lip and I kissed him. Too soon he pulled away, resting his forehead on mine. I could see his eyes, but I knew they followed his hands, tracing from my neck to the hem of my shirt. He fumbled with it, then coaxed it upward with his thumbs.

“You won’t need them,” he said, his voice several tones lower.

I was hit with a burning desire, pushing me to wrap my arms around his neck. Our lips met and he rolled us over so I was lying on top of him, my legs falling to straddle his waist. My shirt was pulled over my head, and Jason’s was too, joining mine on the floor. His hands found my back, pushing my chest flush to his.

“We’ve got to get a full night’s sleep at one point,” I mumbled, hardly breaking our kiss.

“You’ve got the whole day to sleep tomorrow,” he told me, rolling over and coming to rest above me. My stomach filled with butterflies and I tugged at the hair growing at his nape with his next words. “You’re going to need it.”

 

•• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• ••

 

We’d barely been asleep an hour before I heard the garage door rumble open. I groaned and rolled over, facing away from Jason. Shivering with the absence of my shirt, my torso covered only by my bra, I reached for the duvet and tugged it over me. Jason’s movement made me jump, lips pressing to my shoulder before throwing the sheets off of me.

I scrambled to collect them, glaring at Jason as he chuckled. He was already dressed, dark jeans and a faded t-shirt covering his form. I spotted my clothes on the floor and reached for them, pulling on the shirt and sweatpants I’d been wearing the night before. My cheeks heated, as they always did, thinking of Jason. How had he brought me out of my shell so far?

My feet lead me to the set of clothes I’d set out for this morning and I snagged them before heading into the bathroom.

“You put clothes on to shower?” Jason questioned sarcastically.

I snuck a look over my shoulder. “Didn’t think you’d like the view.”

“You don’t know me at all, then,” he said lowly, a rasp forming in his voice like the way it had the night before.

I smirked. “Maybe I’ll have to get to know you better… Later.”

With that, I shut myself in the bathroom and flipped on the shower. It took me about ten minutes to wash myself and bask in the warmth of the water. When a knock on the door sounded and Jason warned that I only had ten minutes before we left, I hurriedly dried off and pulled the new outfit on. Leggings adorned my lower half and a long shirt cover my top, and my wet hair was pulled into a bun on top of my head.

I wiped the steam off the bathroom mirror with my towel, taking in my reflection. I looked as tired as I felt, clearly not getting the kind of rest I needed. To make myself feel better, I padded out into Jason’s room to get a tube of concealer out of my duffel, and applied it less than sparingly under my eyes. Mascara found its way to my lashes before I tucked my makeup away and shoved my feet into my combat boots.

Jason’s bags and three of mine were gone, leaving me to carry the last one down. I could hear the faint start of a car even two stories above and assumed one of the other guys was already heading for the new place. A frown suddenly appeared on my features.

Oakland, California. I’d heard Markus and my brother talk about the city before, marveling at the kind of things that went on there. Drug deals for sure, so they would make a living around there. But it was also seven hours away from where we lived, and not worth uprooting everyone for a little extra money.

I let out a long breath. Seven hours. Jason was taking me seven hours to a new place, pulling me away from my family. No matter how much they hadn’t been trying to get me back, the realization that moving with Jason would put me that far away from them hit me like a moving train. What did going with Jason even mean? That I was still his prisoner? I mentally shook my head; Jason didn’t treat me like one, and never really had. In all honesty, I didn’t really know what Jason and I were. I was a little afraid of asking, worried the answer might hurt me — when I had started caring what Jason said to me, I didn’t know either.

But no matter what reasoning I threw at myself, I always found a pull to go with him. I wanted to go to Oakland; I wanted to leave my brother,Tyler, all those who’d seemingly abandoned me; I wanted to start a new life up there.

With the realization, I smiled. Away from them, and everyone here, I could start a new life where no one beside Jason and his guys knew me. No one would know anything about my brother and Jason’s previous conflicts, or about why I was in Jason’s house. No one.

I shrugged the duffel over my shoulder and cast a glance back at Jason’s bed, still sitting unmade. The curtains were open beyond it, and I could see Jason talking to Carter in the driveway. Even from above, I could see the bags under his eyes. He probably hadn’t gotten any sleep, and a found myself feeling bad for him. It had to do things to him, having his girlfriend selling herself into prostitution to escape debt, even after he’d gotten her out of jail and tried to gamble enough money to save her.

Sighing, I made my way downstairs. Before I could stop myself, I snagged a banana and an apple from the fridge for a quick breakfast. I carried the fruit in one hand and adjusted my duffel with the other, then jogged downstairs. As I approached the door leading to the garage and noticed the key pad under the knob, I slowed. I didn’t know the code to get out, and would look stupid jiggling the handle until someone answered or standing inside until the door was opened from the outside. I bit my lip, but was saved by Xander coming in.

I said nothing to him as I caught the door with my foot, but didn’t receive the usual glare he threw my way. Xander and I were still no where near friends, but over the past few weeks we’d talked a bit and I realized he wasn’t half the bad person I’d thought he was. I hoped he saw me the same way, since he remained to be the only one in the house who had an actual problem with me. Hating someone you saw almost twenty-four hours a day wasn’t especially great.

As I took the few steps down into the garage, I noticed one of the six cars gone. The large door was already open, and a car was being driven into the back of a semi trailer. Blondie swung out of the cab of the truck, moving around to inspect where the car had just disappeared inside. Leo was stuffing a bag into the back of a new navy Cadillac with his back to me, and Jason was throwing a duffel into the backseat of a black GMC Canyon. I’d never pegged Jason for a pickup truck driver, but as he swung into the driver’s seat and ignited the engine, I decided it was incredibly hot.

None of them had noticed me yet as I made my way to Jason’s truck. Sunlight lit up the street, allowing me to see features of the place around the house I’d never seen in the daytime. Shops lined streets to the right of the house, and a few other large houses were in a row across from the shops. The warehouse, I knew, was on the opposite side of Jason’s place from where we stood. I wondered how they’d be able to transport everything from within it in one day.

I must’ve caught Jason’s eye, because he hopped out of the driver’s side and kissed me before taking the duffel. He tossed it in the back seat as Xander came back into the garage and walked over to us. Blondie stuck his head out of the trailer and shot me a look, and I realized Xander was giving me the same one — they thought I was going to run. It would’ve been so easy to take off now, duck into a shop and tell someone I’d been kidnapped. But I wouldn’t.

I nearly scoffed and swung into the passenger’s seat of the truck and cracked my window slightly before peeling the banana. Jason slammed the door he had open and turned to Xander.

“I told you,” Jason hissed under his breath.

“Don’t let her screw with you, Jason,” Xander said in the same tone. I tried not to give a reaction. They didn’t know I was listening. “Don’t let her be another–“

“Shut the hell up,” Jason snapped, stalking around to the driver’s side. “Tyson!” he shouted at regular volume. A guy I hadn’t seen before poked his head out of the trailer. “I’m pulling around to the warehouse. Be there in five with the truck.”

With that, Jason slid into the pickup and threw it in reverse, pulling into the street before adjusting his rear-view mirror. He took us to the first intersection, not saying anything while he stopped and then turned right.

What had Jason told Xander? That I wouldn’t make a break for it? After everything that’d happened between me and Jason, how could his guys think I’d still run? I couldn’t fake what I felt with Jason even if I wanted to. At least he knew that, since he’d told Xander. But what had Xander been about to say before Jason stopped him? What was Jason letting me be? I didn’t get to finish my thought before he spoke.

“We just have to pick up a few things from the warehouse, and we’ll be on the way.”

I nodded, crossing my legs and leaning into the seat. When my brother and I used to go on long car rides, I always sat with my feet kicked up on the dash and my phone in my hand the whole time. I played games while he subtly complained about the feet marks on the inside of the windshield, but he always ended up leaving me alone after about an hour. I didn’t know Jason well enough outside his house to be able to tell if I could be like that with him, and I didn’t have my phone. I’d have to make it seven hours in a completely different way.

Jason pulled into a small driveway at the warehouse I hadn’t seen before, a garage door meant for a semi trailer carved into the side of the building. The care bumped as he drove off the pavement and into the grass beside the drive, probably leaving room for the truck to back in. He put the pickup in park and slid out of it, jogging to the door and digging a key out of his pocket the unlock it. After stuffing the key back in his jeans he threw open the metal door and began directing the truck in when it appeared at the curb. Soon Jason disappeared into the warehouse, and I saw heavy items being thrown in, wrapped in black plastic. They were no doubt the stacks of pot I’d seen my first trip here, and I wondered how he’d be able to get it all into a truck where there were already two cars. My question was answered several minutes later when the truck pulled into the street, trailer door closed and disappearing down the street.

Jason hopped down from the raised platform, then dragged two large bags down and jogged over. After tossing them in the bed of the pickup, he tapped on my window. I rolled it down, giving him a smile as he kissed me quickly.

“Can you back the pickup so I can just push these down into it?” he asked, gesturing toward the warehouse.

I nodded. “Sure, just give me a sec.”

I slid out of the passenger’s seat and giggled as Jason shut the door, then pushed me up against the truck. His hips ground into mine and I fisted his shirt as I sucked on his bottom lip.

“Thanks,” he mumbled lowly, then placed a kiss under my jaw before heading back over to the platform. I made my way around to the driver’s side and swung in, throwing it into gear and doing what Jason asked. I poked my head out of the window as I felt loads being dropped onto the bed.

“Do you want help?” I called up. Jason was poised to push another stack with his foot.

“This is the last of it,” he told me. “All I need to do is cover it, and we’ll be gone.”

I nodded and sat back, closing both windows and climbing back into my seat before Jason closed the metal door and hopped in the truck. He pulled out into the street, and soon his tires hit the interstate.

“Feel free to fall asleep,” Jason smirked. “We had a long night.”

My cheeks flushed and I thumped his shoulder. “Aren’t you tired?”

“Not in the least,” he said, flicking on the radio. Soft music began to play, an alternative song I hadn’t heard before. “Seriously, lean your seat back. I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

I hadn’t realized how tired I was until Jason mentioned sleeping. A yawn came over me, and did as he said. Leaning the seat back about three notches, I propped my hand up so I could rest my head in it and closed my eyes. I had the faintest thought that maybe Jason had purposely gotten me tired, just so I couldn’t see the area we were moving to. If I didn’t know my way around, how could I have any hope of finding my way back…

 

•• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• ••

 

“Phoebe,” Jason’s voice prodded, and I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Phoebe, we’re here.”

I opened my eyes slightly, trying to find Jason. He was sat beside me in the pickup, fiddling with the radio before turning back and trying to coax me awake again. I eventually complied, sitting up my seat and rubbing my temples. Jason’s door opened and he swung out, jogging around to my door and opening it for me. I slid out and kissed him lazily, holding onto his arm for support in my recently-awoken state. If I would’ve been any more tired, I might not have been able to take in the large house sprawled out in front of me.

It was symmetrical, the midpoint being a wood door set back into the stone walls, pillars framing the small front porch. Above was a balcony with double doors, no doubt leading to a master bedroom. To either side were windows on both the first and second levels, and beyond that were two more wings of house and large panes showing a bit of interior. The stone was a light tan, cutting off at the brown-shingled roof.

We were parked out at the street, staring at the front as a car pulled up behind the pickup. Leo jumped out and breathed a wow. I’d almost forgotten that Jason was the only one who’d seen the place. It was a lot more attractive than the last house, which hadn’t even had much of a yard. But I didn’t see a warehouse nearby — the only thing close was another house, about fifty feet to the side wall of the other.

Carter appeared in the doorway of the house, dangling a set of keys in his hand. Jason, Leo, and I all walked across the expanse of the lawn, meeting him at the door. Jason took the ring from Carter and pulled a key off of it for Leo. I wasn’t surprised when he merely stuffed the rest in his pocket, not intending to give me one.

“Xander, Lucas, and Tyson all went to the new warehouse,” Jason said. “They’ll be here in about half an hour for the rest of the load in my truck. Let’s get everything moved in before they get back so we’re not all moving at once.” They nodded and we began to walk back toward the cars, but Jason grabbed my hand. “Why don’t you go check out the place,” he told me.

I smiled and nodded, giving his hand a squeeze before ducking into the doorway. The door thudded closed behind me and I was encased in warm air, a comforting difference from the cooler air of northern California. As I took in the entry way, I realized the house was a lot bigger than the exterior let on. There was a large light fixture that hung down from a fourteen-foot ceiling, and to either side of it were miniatures of the same kind. To my left was what looked like a small study, glass double doors opening to a gray-carpeted floor and navy walls. I looked down, my shoes on the finished mahogany flooring. Thinking better of walking through the new house with my boots, I kicked them off and continued to my right.

Obviously a dining area, the same wood floors and cream walls complemented another light fixture, fit for the height of the ceiling. I peeked around the corner, seeing that a kitchen was strategically attached to the room with an open archway. Before I gave into the temptation to continue there first, I backtracked and went straight back into the house. A large, open area with tan walls lead all the way back to the end of the house, glass sliding doors leading to the back yard. I stepped into the expanse, looking closer into the yard. A short deck jutted out from the house, stairs leading down into a tiled area surrounding a pool. A pool. I’d never had one before, and to have one right outside would be incredibly nice. I wondered if the temperature could be set for colder weather.

I heard a garage door rumble open to my left and my vision found the door that lead to it, set back in the far corner. The key pad was already in place, but probably not programmed to lock the door yet. The rest of the wall remained empty, spare for two staircases — one leading up, the other down — yielding a tan carpet. I looked right and found the open kitchen, larger than the last. An island rested in the middle here too, and held numerous amounts of drawers. Along the outside was a stainless-steal dishwasher, a french-doored refrigerator with a freezer below, and a stove-oven. Each was separated from each other by a four foot section of marble counter, and a sink rested in the corner of the room.

Before Jason had a chance to come in with Carter and Leo, I made my way up the stairs. Halfway up, the staircase made a sharp turn, making a five foot square landing. A door was set into the wall there, and my hand twisted the knob. Inside was a fairly good sized room, lit by a window about six feet across and covered by thin curtains on the opposite wall. A closet was on the same wall as the door, where I stood. There was an open door to the left, leading into a full bathroom.

I backed out and continued up the rest of the stairs, surprised to see five more doors staggered along the hallway, dark without windows. My hand found a light switch and I flicked it on as I hear the guys bustle in on the main level. They were speaking about the house’s lack of a basement as I turned the knob of the first room, a door directly to my right. This room was almost exactly like the first, but the bathroom was on the opposite side. The same was for the next I looked in, the first door in the hall to my left. I stepped up to the middle door on the right wall and opened it slowly.

Directly across from where I stood was the glass door leading to the balcony I’d seen from outside. Light beamed in from there, illuminating the room so I didn’t have to find a switch. This was, without a doubt, the master, since the area was almost two times the size of the previous rooms I’d been in. Three doors rested along the left wall — two walk-in closets and a full bathroom. The amount of space in this house compared to the last had already begun to amaze me.

I continued me search of the house, finishing with the last two rooms along the main upper-level hall. As I came out of the last, I noticed that a small group of stairs lead only to another door. It seemed like an odd place for a room, but that’s exactly what it was when I went inside.

Convinced I’d seen all the house had to offer, I made my way back downstairs. I found several duffel bags dumped on the floor at the foot of the staircase. Jason and Carter stood on the back deck talking while Leo banged around in the kitchen.

“Already eating?” I laughed, making my way to him.

“Thank God Carter already stocked this,” he said, pulling out a cup of yogurt from the fridge. “I haven’t had anything since last night, and I’m starving.”

I smiled. “Depending on what’s in there, I’ll make a big dinner tonight. Do you think we’ll have any furniture by then?”

He shrugged. “None of us are making the trip back any time soon. I think all Xander and Lucas managed to shove in the trailer were the bean bags and two small fold-up card tables.”

I sighed, relieved. “I was going to miss those bean bags.”

Leo finally returned my grin. “Me too.”

The back door opened and Jason entered, gesturing for me to follow him. I complied, meeting him at the foot of the stairs. He gestured up and I led him to the top floor, waiting for him to point where he wanted to go.

“The end of the hall,” he said. When I stepped down the small staircase leading to the last room, he followed close behind. “Open it,” he nodded his head at the door.

I did as he said and stopped just inside, waiting for him to say something as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. We stood there for a long moment, the light dissipating and reappearing with passing clouds.

“Why are we here?” I asked eventually.

He rested his chin on my shoulder. “Technically, your month is up.”

My forehead pulled together. “What?”

“One of your first nights, you lost a bet that entailed you had to spend a whole month’s worth of nights in my room,” Jason told me.

My mouth formed an ‘O’, though he couldn’t see it. “That didn’t really answer my question, though.”

“This house has an extra room,” he explained. “I thought I’d offer it to you before assuming you’d want to be in mine.”

I turned in his arms so I could face him. His expression didn’t let anything on, so I couldn’t tell how he was feeling about the idea. I gave him a questioning look.

“You honestly think I’d want to skip out on a night with you?” I asked, roping my arms around his neck.

Jason smirked. “It was worth asking, to hear that answer.”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself too much.”

“I don’t have to. I have you.”

He kissed me, his lips moving from my mouth to just underneath my jaw before I stopped him.

“We don’t have a mattress,” I stated, realizing that Leo had said the only furniture they’d brought were the bean bags.

“I’ve heard the floor is better,” Jason mumbled into my neck, beginning to suck on a soft spot I didn’t know was there.

A chill ran up my spine and I leaned away, laughing lightly. “The last time I slept on the floor, I had an ache in my back so bad it affected me for days.”

He chuckled deeply, pulling back to look me in the eyes with his brown ones. “Then we’ll go look for one. Right now.”

I smiled and pecked his cheek. “It better be like the last one. If you come home with a bad one, I’ll make you take it right back.”

He shook his head. “We’ll get the right one the first time, obviously.”

I rose an eyebrow. “Oh? And how are you planning on doing that.”

“Didn’t you hear me?” he said, acting like I was missing something. I shrugged. “I said we.”

I shrugged. “And?”

He laughed. “Catch up, Phoebe. You’re not staying here. You’re coming with me.


	20. ~10.17...2~

I was shocked at first, used to staying in by now. With whatever this situation had become, it’d never been a question of whether or not I could leave — the answer had been a reflexive no. I had a hard time deciding by Jason’s expression if he was serious, and finally concluded that I’d take him literally.

“Why would I do that?” I asked skeptically.

“Because I want you with me,” Jason said casually, squeezing my waist before placing a kiss to my nose.

I scrunched it and looked down at myself. “Let me change.”

“Don’t make me wait too long,” he said with a grin, pecking my cheek before leaving me.

I ran down quickly to get one of my duffels, then jogged back upstairs. Kneeling down beside it, I unzipped it quickly — but stopped short when I saw what rested on top. I hadn’t grabbed my bag, I’d grabbed one of Jason’s. And sitting inside was my phone.

I could’ve sworn the universe was testing me. It wanted me to fail, wanted me to look at my phone and text my brother or Tyler or someone to let them know where I was. My resistance was much greater than the pull, though, and Jason was the reason. More and more I found myself wanting to just be with him, as if standing near him could lighten a bad mood. Whenever I was with him, I didn’t think about the boys I’d previously lived with. It was nice, and I didn’t have plans of changing it anytime soon.

I shoved my phone deep into the duffel and zipped it quickly, then slid it a good ten feet away from me. Then I stood, intent on taking one of my duffel bags. When I returned to the master, opened the duffel and found and outfit as quickly as I could, hoping the time I’d wasted hadn’t made Jason change his mind. I was going out in public for the first time in what felt like forever.

Once I’d changed into black skinny jeans and an airy purple top, I practically skipped steps running downstairs. Jason was leaning on the island in the kitchen, talking to Leo and Carter.

I turned into the entry way where I’d left my boots and shoved my feet into them. I snuck a glance out the front window and saw a white Subaru WRX pull up to the curb. Xander got out of the driver’s seat and the other guy — Tyson — hopped out of the passenger’s side. They both looked at the house and nodded to each other, probably talking about the size and stature of it. This house was certainly a step up from the last.

Before they caught me staring out from the door, I turned and walked back to the kitchen. Jason smiled and placed his arm around my waist.

“Ready?”

I nodded, returning his grin.

“What’s going on?” Leo asked, looking a little doubtful.

“We’re going out,” Jason replied casually, leaving no room for argument.

The front door opened and Xander and Tyson bustled in, not bothering with their shoes before traipsing into the main room. They did a once-over of the room, then joined everyone in the kitchen.

“We’re here for the rest of it,” Xander told Jason, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

“It’s in my truck,” Jason told him. He dug keys out of his pocket and tossed them to Xander. “Take it to the warehouse. I need your car, though.”

Xander nodded and threw Jason a different key ring. I received a calculating look in the exchange from across the room. “The tank is low.”

“I’ll fill it,” Jason said, then began leading me toward the front door. “You’d better get mine, too.”

“Whatever,” was Xander’s reply, and Jason and I were out and in the front yard.

We walked to the Subaru, Jason’s arm around my shoulders. He opened the passenger’s door for me and I kissed his jaw before sliding in. After he jogged around and started the car, we pulled away from the curb. l started fidgeting, excited about the fact I was finally going out in public. Jason glance at me and chuckled.

“Sorry,” I said, catching myself.

He shook his head. “Don’t apologize.”

After making a quick stop at the gas station, Jason headed further into the city. I watched buildings go by, each labeled with different companies. The last time I’d seen the business side of a city had been even before I’d started staying with Jason. My brother nor Tyler liked taking trips into the city, both being rural people. Personally, I liked the overabundance of people. It was comforting to know I blended, could be counted off as a normal person rather than the “Lastings sister”. I wondered if Jason had made a name for himself here yet.

“How familiar are you with this area?” I asked him casually, lacing my fingers together in my lap.

“I know it well enough to get around without a GPS,” he answered, sneaking a look at me. A smile tugged at his lips.

I nodded, realizing he seemed to know exactly where we were going. This bothered me a little. Jason was so well known back home that if he lifted a finger, it would reach a thousand people every ten minutes. One of the things that’d attracted me to moving up here — as if I’d had much of a choice — was the anonymity the group would have for the first month or so. But if people knew Jason here, had word spread of the events leading up to my stay with the guys? The last thing I wanted was to hear Tyler’s and Jason’s names in the same sentence.

“Do people know you here?” I asked.

Something in my voice must’ve given me away, because he stole another, confused look at me. “I have a supplier up here, and a few friends, but I haven’t talked to them in a long time. My name is known, but not by many.”

I could feel relief begin to creep into my body. If only a few people knew Jason, they almost certainly didn’t know me. A name couldn’t be put to my face, therefore I could make a new one for myself. The sudden fear of being singled out had passed, and I sighed.

“What?” Jason questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” I shrugged. I reached for his hand and brought it to my lips, kissing the prominent knuckle. “Just curious.”

We drove in silence for a few minutes as I stared out at the people we passed. When Jason finally pulled into a lot, a building I’d hardly noticed now came into full view. It was obviously a home furnishings store, moderately busy for a Friday afternoon. Jason parked and we climbed out of the car. He clicked the lock and I waited for him, taking a place on his right as we walked up together. I felt myself smile involuntarily, watching actual people pass us.

Jason’s arm found its way around my waist and pulled me closer to him, our sides bumping with every other step. I snuck a look up at his face, but he held a mostly neutral expression while staring straight ahead. Maybe that was the mask he wore out in public. Markus had one; my brother had one; everyone I knew had a different attitude when out and around. They had to, to uphold a reputation. It didn’t usually bother me, beside the fact I didn’t know how to act around Jason’s yet.

When we got inside I hardly got to look at the different signs pointing various places before he tugged me to the left. I felt his hand slip under my flowing top, warm fingers rubbing against the skin just above my jeans. The touch sent a chill up my spine, and I could almost hear him smile next to me. Maybe his mask didn’t run so deep I couldn’t break through it.

A minute later we stopped in front of a whole section of bed frames. I looked them over, wood and metal frames, both close to the floor and far from it. Jason’s previous bed had been high up, which was what I assumed he wanted now.

“Which one?” I nodded at the section of furniture.

“Take your pick,” he told me, squeezing my side.

“High or low?” I asked, not really comfortable dictating exactly where his money went.

“Whichever is easier to reach in a hurry,” he chuckled lowly, and my face flushed. Low, then.

I led him over to a black frame that stood about six inches from the ground. The top of the mattress would reach about two feet above the floor. Something about low lying beds attracted me, and not just for sexual reasons. I didn’t like being too high up in the first place.

“Can I help you?” I female voice came from behind us.

I looked back over my shoulder, not able to fully turn with Jason’s arm still around me. A middle-aged woman approached us, black rimmed glasses on her graying head. The uniform she wore was a navy polo and khaki pants, and a name tag reading “Jane” was pinned on her chest.

“This one?” Jason asked me, gesturing to the frame we were stopped in front of.

“Sure,” I replied, glancing back at the woman.

She smiled. “Mattress size?”

“King,” Jason said automatically.

She nodded and pulled out a pad of paper from her pocket. Her pen scratched a model number over the pad and she tore it off before handing it to me. “Take that to the warehouse counter when you’re done shopping, and you can either load it up or get it delivered to your home.”

“Thank you,” I said and watched her disappear behind a corner, looking for another customer.

“Now for the fun part,” Jason mumbled, making my cheeks flush again.

I was lead through the store again, and was convinced Jason had been here before when we landed in front of a mattress section in under thirty seconds. His arm fell from my side as he moved toward the first one he saw, collapsing into it and smirking at me.

“This is the same brand I had back in Poway,” he told me, then patted the spot beside him. “We could just get this one again.”

I let a grin spread on my face and took his invitation, sitting criss-cross facing him. “It is pretty great.”

Jason craned his neck to look back at the others behind us. “But there’s a memory foam mattress over there. That would be nice.”

I shook my head with a laugh. “Whatever you want.”

“I think you should choose.”

“And why is that?” I rose an eyebrow at him.

“You’ll do a majority of the laying,” he said, his smirk deepening. My mouth fell open and he swiftly darted from where he was resting.

I followed him with my gaze as he strode to another mattress, falling into it as if out of habit and sinking into the foam. Rolling my eyes, I got up and followed him. My feet came to a stop on the space of floor beside where he was sitting. I let my fingers trail up to the hem of his shirt and tease it upward, grazing his skin lightly. He caught my hand and squeezed it, making me laugh.

“How come I don’t get to do that to you?” I asked, jutting out my lower lip.

“You don’t stop me,” he teased. “That’s the only difference.”

“Can I help you two with anything?” a different voice came from behind me, a male employee.

I turned and met him with a smile, noticing the older man wore the same getup as the woman before. My head turned and I caught Jason’s eye.

“You get to pick this time,” I told him.

Jason seemed to consider for a moment, then stood next to me. “A king of this one,” he gestured to the one he’d just been sitting on.

Just like the last woman, the man pulled out a pad of paper and scribbled something onto it. I took the slip again, smiling a thanks before turning back to Jason.

“I guess that concludes our outing, then,” I said.

“My rug got left behind,” he said. “I’d like a new one.”

I smiled. “Sentimental value?”

“Just in case we don’t quite make it to the bed,” he winked.

I thumped him again, cheeks on fire. He lead me through the store and soon we found racks of rugs. We debated about the color for a long while, trying to decide what would go best with the walls and floor. Finally, I vetoed a black rug in favor or a gray, since the bed frame was already black. The size of it was massive, and would easily span quite a few feet out from the bed. I collected another sheet from a saleswoman and we decided to head for the warehouse counter.

After handing the clerk the three slips, Jason slid his credit card through the scanner and ordered a drop-off about two hours from then. Five minutes later we were back in his car, and I was sighing at how brief my taste of the outside world had been. In ten minutes I would be back inside the house, probably in one of the bean bags they’d brought from the house and staring at the ceiling while Jason ran out on an errand. But as I was picturing myself doing this, Jason turned down a street we hadn’t come from. I sat back as he did this a few more times, not even close to going back to the house.

“Where are we going?” I asked, fiddling with my hands.

“I thought we’d grab something to eat while we were out,” he smiled softly, taking another turn. A mall came into view, and I sighed longingly. I hadn’t been to one in almost two months, and missed going into stores, even if I wasn’t buying anything.

“Do you like Italian?” Jason asked, glancing at me.

I grinned wildly. “Of course.”

“Good. This is my favorite place in the area, and I think you’ll like it,” he told me. His hand reached over and laced his fingers through mine, squeezing lightly.

I felt my face grow warm again and I watched the sky, sun now beginning to set. Jason pulled into the large parking lot and found a spot close to the restaurant. I’d never heard of it before, and I wasn’t even going to try pronouncing the name. As soon as he threw the car into park, I stood out of the car. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gone out to eat. Mostly, I’d lasted on takeout and meals I’d cooked myself. It was going to be nice to get quality food with no work for a change.

Jason’s arm wrapped around my shoulders and we ducked inside. I was immediately hit with the smell of garlic bread and pasta, and I smiled. Before I could stop myself I fisted the front of his shirt and dragged him down into a kiss, sucking on his bottom lip for good measure before pulling away.

“And that was for…?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know quite yet. I’ll figure it out.”

“Make sure to let me know,” he mumbled in my ear. “So I can do it again.”

“Just the two of you?” a hostess approached us kindly before I had the chance to feel the blush creeping onto my face.

“Yes,” Jason replied.

She motioned for us to follow her, and we walked through a series of candlelit tables filled with various types of people — businessmen and women, young and old couples, friends and family. The whole scene was comforting. Jason and I sat down near a window looking out on a pond, the orange sun reflecting on the clear water. The hostess handed us menus and said a server would be with us momentarily.

“It’s pretty,” I said once she’d gone, looking around at the whole restaurant. There was a subtle orange shade to the whole room, creating a homey feeling with the tinted windows along the walls. The low hum of voices and dishes clinking together made me feel warm inside.

“My mom and I came here a lot,” Jason said quietly.

My smile dropped and I suddenly felt like I was intruding on something special to him. It was well known that Jason’s mother had died when he was young, but there were so many rumors that I didn’t know which one was true. I’d heard she’d died in a car accident, a hit-and-run, a drug overdose, cancer — there were so many theories that I’d counted his mother off as a work of fiction. The only thing I knew for sure about Jason’s past was that he’d been raised by a friend of his mother’s, named Riley Underwood. I’d seen the man in person when I was ten. He’d had been pretty heavy into drugs, pressure from the amount of debt he’d wracked up with a few dealers. About five months after I’d met Riley, he died. The rumors were the same, but I knew from Sam it’d been an overdose of heroine that killed him. Jason hadn’t had a good past with parental figures, and I didn’t know how he’d react if I asked anything more than he was ready to tell me.

He must’ve seen the deer-in-headlights feeling show on my face, because he laughed lightly. “It’s okay, Phoebe. I wouldn’t come back here if I wasn’t going to be okay.”

I bit my lip. “Did you live here when you were younger?”

Jason nodded slowly. “Until she died.” There was a long pause where he stared at a point somewhere above my head. “Then I’m sure you know the rest.”

“Do you mind me asking how…” I trailed off, cursing myself for not being able to hold my tongue.

“How she died?” he finished for me. I nodded nervously, waiting for him to continue. He took a deep breath. “Of all the things in the world, she died of pneumonia.”

I chewed the inside of my cheek, trying not to show my surprise. Pneumonia? It shed such a different light than any of the other stories. My brother and plenty others had always made Jason’s mother out to be stupid, arrogant, or selfish. Hearing Jason put all of those aside made the whole thing sad, not a joke like Sam had always interpreted.

“They caught it too late,” Jason continued, hand reaching to fiddle with the cloth napkin folded in front of him. “We thought it was the flu, or a really bad cold, or something. When she got worse, she refused to go to a doctor. Prideful, really — she was the strong single mother who’d made it through debt and substance abuse, and wasn’t about to be brought down by one bout of illness. It was when she couldn’t breath that I had to call an ambulance, and once we made it to the hospital we found out my mom had asthma to top everything off. Pneumonia and asthma aren’t a great combination, and with the sickness settled in her lungs already, it was only a matter of time. One asthma attack was all it took to collapse a lung, and she just didn’t wake up.”

I didn’t know what to say. What Jason had just told me made me look at him in a completely different way. My stomach ached, anxiety building as I realized I should say something, anything to make him feel better. He’d trusted me enough to tell me about his mother, something I suspected he didn’t tell people often. An incredible amount of pressure had just been set on my shoulders, and I didn’t know how to cope.

“I’m — I’m sorry,” I stuttered, staring down at my hands. I looked up and reached across the table for Jason’s, lacing our fingers together and giving him a reassuring squeeze.

“It’s not your fault,” he replied, looking up and giving me a small smile.

I was relieved when a waitress approached our table, saving me from having to say anything. Jason and I just asked for water, and he pulled away to begin flipping through the menu as she left. I had a feeling he already knew what he wanted to eat, and was just avoiding a conversation. Gladly accepting the distraction, I opened my own menu and started finding what I wanted.

There were a lot of things I wanted to ask Jason about his past, but I knew that I wouldn’t appreciate it if he prodded me like that. The biggest question in my mind at that moment was why had Jason allowed me out of the house today? Granted, I wasn’t familiar with the area and wouldn’t know where to go. But what was to stop me from slipping out the back door of this restaurant, finding a bus station, and getting the hell out of here? I knew the answer to that, but did he? Did Jason know that he’d started to mean more to me than just something to get back at my brother and Tyler?

Jason had been better to me as my captor than Tyler had as my boyfriend, which was a shocking and sad realization. Not only did Jason make me feel amazing, but in the past few weeks he’d put up with my dumb questions, stupid attempts at keeping conversation, and juvenile runs at new things. Jason worked with me, laughing off my inexperience, whereas Tyler would always speed ahead and have to wait for me to catch up. I didn’t think I even had to mention the fact that Tyler and I had never been out on a real date. Either we’d never had the chance, or it’d been promptly avoided in favor of a make-out session. Whatever this was that Jason and I had, the change of pace had been comforting.

I was a little dazed when the waitress came back so soon, yanking me out of concentration. I fumbled over the words it took to ask for a simple alfredo dish, and Jason ordered something that sounded complicated. We sat in silence for a long moment after she left, but I finally broke it before I started to fidget.

“What are you planning to do the rest of the week?” I asked, tapping my fingers against my water glass.

“The guys thought it’d be a good idea to throw a party next Saturday,” he told me. “Establish ourselves, start making a few alliances. Plus, it’d be a way to make money with people drunk enough to bet more than they have.”

I gave a light laugh. “I think it’s a good idea. I’ve heard there’s a lot of activity up here,” I added, trying to recall what my brother said about Oakland. “Drugs, violence, all that. You won’t be doing more than you need to, right?” It was a dumb thing to ask of him, and I didn’t know why I’d let it leave my mouth. He would do whatever he wanted to do, and I had no say in it. Sleeping with Jason was one thing, but trying to give input on his life on the street was completely different.

“I don’t do anything I don’t have to,” he replied evenly, surprising me. “If it’s a matter of territory, then I’ll take the actions needed to express the power I have. The same goes for loyalties, and who I’d fight with to get somewhere. If it’s striking fear into people and messing with their heads that has to be done, then that’s what I’ll do.”

I thought back to the first night I’d seen Jason face-to-face. His words reminded me of Emmett, and of the bullet wound in his leg I was almost sure still had to bother him. Leo hadn’t been able to tell me where he was, so that must’ve been a good sign, but nonetheless I still wanted to know how he was doing. The shot had obviously been a display of strength, in Jason’s eyes necessary in the context of territory. And by taking me, he ticked off the box of getting inside someone’s head — mine, and everyone who I was close to.

I knew Jason hadn’t been trying to dig up what’d happened over a month ago. Honestly, I had been pushing what’d happened out of my mind ever since I realized Jason hadn’t been trying to screw with me. In my now changed outlook, Jason had been doing me a favor by taking me from the boys I lived with. I left somewhere that people didn’t bother trying to come after me, and came into a place where I had someone who cared enough to take me out to eat, like a real couple would do.

The thought brought me to my next question. What was I to Jason? What were we? I didn’t want to change the subject so abruptly, but it was something that’d been prodding my mind for almost two weeks. For some reason, I was afraid of hearing the answer, and hadn’t asked because of that.

I nodded at Jason’s previous comment, avoiding further confrontation on all sides. When I didn’t say anything more, he leaned his forearms against the table. He was giving me a calculating look, and I was uncomfortable with the fact that I couldn’t read his expression any further.

“I don’t know your favorite color,” he said, catching me completely off-guard.

I laughed out loud, having been expecting a completely different, more serious question. When I received a risen eyebrow, I put my face in my hands, another wave of laughter coming over me. This was how I reacted to a relief of stress, laughing until I couldn’t feel the weight of my thoughts anymore.

“What?” Jason asked carefully.

“Sometimes,” I smiled. “You scare the hell out of me, Jason.”

He smiled deeply, watching my face carefully. “And I have yet to know what color you like the most.”

I bit my lip, trying not to smile. “Burgundy.”

Jason snorted. “What the hell is that?”

I crossed my arms, sending him a playful glare. “It’s a dark red.”

“You couldn’t have just said that?”

I narrowed my eyes, trying to keep the smile from my face. “Every color has a name.”

“Apparently,” he grinned. “Your favorite food, then?”

And with that, we launched into a long conversation of all of our favorite and least favorite things, the seriousness of before forgotten.

 

•• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• ••

 

Jason held the front door for me, and I pecked his cheek before going inside and kicking off my shoes. He closed the door behind him and did the same, nudging his next to my boots. We walked together to the kitchen, where Xander, Tyson, and Blondie were all leaned against the island.

“Bet me,” Blondie challenged Tyson, the context of their conversation lost to me.

“Shut up, Lucas,” Tyson rolled his eyes, taking a drink from the water bottle in his grasp.

“Did the truck come yet?” Jason interrupted, brushing past them to get a water from the fridge.

“Yeah,” Xander said. “Everything you got is up in your room.”

Jason nodded a thanks, then motioned for me to follow him upstairs. We climbed the staircase and shuffled into his room, where I mattress wrapped in plastic was in the middle of the floor, a large cardboard box holding the bed frame was pushed against the left wall, and the rug was rolled and leaning against the far wall.

I reached for the rug and tore off the wrapping. Jason helped me spread it across the floor and set the mattress on top of it. The different colors looked good together, and I smiled triumphantly at him. He simply kissed my jaw and squeezed my waist.

“Who’s Tyson?” I asked curiously, sitting down on the memory foam.

“We’re down a fighter, now that Grant’s gone,” Jason said, taking a seat next to me. “I figured Tyson would come in handy. He’s a good kid, does well under pressure.”

“So he’s a new recruit?” I asked to clarify. I didn’t know if Jason meant a permanent hand, or just for a few days.

“His room is all the way down the hall,” he said. “Until further notice, he’s living here. Tyson’s earned himself a spot.”

I nodded. “I guess now I won’t be the one everyone’s getting used to anymore,” I thought out loud with a smile.

“I guess not,” Jason agreed. He lifted his fingers to my chin and turned my face so he could kiss me. I smiled and he began to deepen our movements, hands reaching around my waist and my bottom lip between his teeth.

“How long do you think it’ll take us to put the bed frame together?” I mumbled against his lips.

“Longer than I want it to,” he said, barely breaking the contact of our lips. His hand slipped up my shirt and rested on my bare side, thumb flicking the fabric of my bra.

“But the bed–“

“Forget it,” Jason nearly growled, incredibly hot. My hand reached up to tug at his hair, past needing a trim.

“We don’t need one tonight.”


	21. ~10.25~

“You go ahead,” I told Jason, patting his stomach. He was standing beside me at the bathroom counter, watching me brush mascara onto my eyes. The bass coming from downstairs was already causing the floor to vibrate. “It’s your party, you should be down there.”

“Don’t make me wait too long,” he said, squeezing my waist before exiting the small tiled room. The bedroom door opened and shut, letting in a few seconds of music before an abrupt cut off. I wrinkled my nose, already able to smell the marijuana burning in joints on the level below.

Parties had always seemed obnoxious to me, but Jason always seemed so adamant on hosting them. I supposed they were good for making deals and ties with other people, but Markus never really bothered with them while I was under his roof. Personally, I didn’t like the drug use going on. Pot seemed bad by it’s secondhand smell alone; how people could inhale it, I didn’t know. God knew what else was going on in other rooms of the house.

After deciding I’d put enough of my almost-empty mascara on, I walked out into Jason’s — ours, really — room and began to dig in my closet. Having two was extremely nice, since I no longer had to worry about my clothes being wrinkled in a heap on the floor. My hands ran over the multiple fabrics, landing on a royal blue dress. I tugged it off the hanger and slipped it over my head after stripping from my other clothes, then pushed my feet into black wedges. The dress fell to mid-thigh, loose near my legs but tight on my torso. Sleeves covered my shoulders and ended just underneath my elbow, and I rolled my shoulders to make the slick fabric sit more comfortably against my skin. As I stepped back into the room I spotted one of Jason’s beanies lying on the floor. I picked it up and slipped the black hat over my straight hair instead of tossing it into his closet.

I could tell by the volume of the party that there were a lot more people here than the last time. It made sense, since this house was quite a bit bigger than the last, even with only two floors. Seeing people again made me feel a little nervous; I hadn’t been out of the house since Jason and I had gone shopping for our bed — which now stood low against the far wall of the room — just over a week ago. Even then, there hadn’t been that many bodies where we’d gone. I was beginning to think being holed up in a house for that long was having an effect on my social skills.

Before I could convince myself not to descend into the haze of smoke downstairs, I closed the bedroom door behind me and made my way through the crowd. I spotted Jason almost right away. He was sat at a long table in the middle of the main room, something Xander had brought in a few days ago. The house had quickly filled with furniture as we’d settled in; a small table in the study and another long one in the dining room; the bean bags tossed every which way in the main room, along with two leather arm chairs; stools for the kitchen and patio chairs for the back deck; and beds for each of the guys.

I pushed through the small crowd that had gathered around the gambling table and put my hand on Jason’s shoulder. He looked up and smiled as I played with the collar of his shirt. Acting as if it were habit, he craned his neck to place a kiss to my fingers, and my stomach flushed with warmth. He hadn’t been one to show affection while in front of multiple people, and I was surprised at his action. It was a small gesture, but everyone sitting around the table had seen it, if not more.

“That’s my hat,” Jason said.

“I know,” I replied, flashing a smile. “Don’t try telling me to take it off, because I won’t.”

“I wasn’t going to,” he answered. “It looks good on you.”

I let the dim lighting of the room hide my blush as I watched the next round of poker. An unfamiliar face served as the dealer, flipping over the center cards and watching as chips were tossed into the accumulating pile. After a few times around the table, I looked down and noticed Jason didn’t have any cards in his hands. He must not have been playing, simply observing the game taking place in his house. Something about it made me smile.

What? he mouthed at me, I simply shook my head, leaving the grin on my face. He narrowed his eyes playfully and took hold of my hand that’d been resting on his arm. Before I could say anything, he stood and pulled me away from the table. I kept up, even on the three-inch wedges, as he weaved us through the mass of people in the main room. We somehow ended up in the kitchen, where Jason snagged a bottle of scotch off the island and then began dragging me toward the back deck.

I sucked in a breath as the cool October air hit my uncovered skin and guessed the temperature to be around forty degrees. My body wasn’t used to the colder weather, since I’d spent almost my entire life in the southern parts of California. The night seemed almost too cool for me, and I was proven right when my teeth began to chatter. Jason had been smart, wearing dark jeans and a gray hoodie. As we sat down on the steps leading down from the deck to the patio surrounding the pool he seemed to notice my lack of clothing.

“Do you want my jacket?” he asked, setting the bottle of scotch next to him. Even after rubbing my arms and shaking my head, Jason rolled his eyes and shrugged his outer layer off. “Take it.”

I didn’t complain when I slid into it, still warm from his body. He was left in a long-sleeved maroon v-neck that looked incredibly good on him. My grin was my thanks and he returned the smile before gripping the bottle next to him. He held out the bottle to offer me a drink but I waved him off. Drinking wasn’t something I liked to do, even though the option had been given to me plenty of times. The sting alcohol left behind wasn’t worth the amount of time it took for the numbness to set in. Plus, I had no idea who’d taken a drink straight from that same bottle over the course of the night.

Jason shrugged and tipped it back, taking to drinks before wincing and setting the bottle aside. “Someone mixed it,” he explained. “There’s something else in here, and it’s got a hell of a kick.” A smirk played at his lips. “Sure you don’t want any?”

“I’m fine,” I replied, looking over at the pool. There were several people splashing around, though I didn’t understand how they could stand the cold. Even with Jason’s jacket I was still shuddering from the temperature.

“Do you want to swim?”

I glanced over at him. “I’m wearing a dress. The water is probably freezing, anyway.”

He leaned over and kissed me where my jaw met my neck. “It’s heated,” Jason mumbled into my skin. “And you don’t have to wear the dress.”

I leaned away from him, laughing. “You want me to take it off? Right now?”

“Not now,” he shook his head with a laugh. “Later, though.”

Rolling my eyes, I hugged Jason’s jacket tighter to me. “We’ll see.”

“That’s good enough for me,” he said, wrapping his arm around my waist and tugging me closer. I leaned into him and rested my head against his shoulder.

The music was muted behind the closed back door, and I could see flashes from a strobe light someone had brought. It wasn’t nearly dark enough inside for it to work well, but I didn’t know what went through a person’s head when they were drunk and high at the same time.

My gaze landed on a house about three down from where we were. A silhouette was standing on the back deck, hands on hips. I could tell whether the figure was male or female, but their body language said they weren’t happy. Huffing, I turned my head up to Jason.

“I guess the neighbors here aren’t as tolerant as they were in the last neighborhood,” I said. When he gave me a questioning look I nodded my head in the direction of the form. “They don’t look happy.”

“They can shove it up their–“

“Jason,” Xander’s voice came from behind us, cutting him off. We both swiveled our heads to where Xander stood, the back door open and being leaned against by him. There was a change in songs and the background noise grew quieter for a moment.

“What?”

“Uriah’s here,” Xander replied. “He wants to talk to you — soon.”

I saw Jason glance at me in my peripheral, then back at Xander. “Tell him I’ll be there in two minutes.”

Xander nodded and closed himself back in the house. I sat up, making room for Jason to stand. He pulled me up with him, tugging me to his chest. My head lifted to meet his gaze, torsos pressed together as he placed another kiss to my face. He was being incredibly adamant about keeping a touch on me. Since I’d gotten to the main level, there hadn’t been a time I hadn’t been in contact with Jason.

“You should go find Uriah,” I said, though I didn’t know who he was. “A deal, I assume? You live off of that money, you know.”

“I know,” he gave me a sly smile. “But I always negotiate better with him when there’s a girl on my arm. It distracts him.”

I swatted at his arm, looped around my body and pressed to my back. “I’m not going to let you use me like that.”

“I wouldn’t,” Jason assured me, then began moving us to the door. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you with me.

Rolling my eyes, I sighed. “Fine. Lead the way.”

He started walking toward the door, then paused. Without missing a beat he went back to the bottle of scotch, sitting where he’d left it on the deck beside him. He jiggled it at me, then tipped it bad to take another swig. “Liquid courage,” he explained, and we disappeared inside the party.

Just like the last party, dancing bodies were all in a horde in the main room. I didn’t notice the heat coming from them when I’d first come down, but with the comparison of the outside temperature it seemed almost overwhelming. Working around Jason’s arm, I managed to slide his jacket off.

“Take it,” I said, pushing it against his chest. “There’s enough heat in here to last probably into next week.”

He smiled, then tossed the hoodie to the side. It landed in a heap on the floor, where an incredibly drunk guy tripped over it and doused the fabric with beer. My mouth dropped open, but Jason shrugged.

“I can get a new one.”

As we continued through the house, I began to see quite a few people gathered in the entry way. There were definitely less than in the room behind us, where the drinks were, but as we rounded the corner and faced the study I noticed the crowd was gathering in there. I shared a look with Jason and he just smiled, while I was confused.

“Uriah Crowe is one of the most powerful people in this area,” Jason explained after leaning to speak in my ear. “Drugs and weapon wise, of course. People like us don’t bother with industry.”

My front lip was taken between my teeth. My brother had always told me Oakland was dangerous, and I knew from news stories and other people that Sam was right. Where we used to live looked nice compared to here. I could only assume that the same went for people. I wasn’t afraid of much, but I was cautious about the kind of power people could hold over my head. Jason throwing himself right into the thick of it when we only got into town a little over a week before might not have been the smartest move.

As we approached, Carter and Xander began pushing people out of the study. Some were drunk, others seeming simply curious — probably wondering why Uriah was sitting in the new kid on the block’s house. When a majority of the people had cleared, the table came into view. Sitting at its head was a dark skinned, well-built man who looked to be about twenty-five. His hair was trimmed close to his head and the edges of multiple tattoos peeked out from the collar of his white tee. He wore one extremely thin, barely noticeable silver chain around his neck that ended in a celtic knot pendant. His fingers were weaved together and set on top of the table, staring at Jason and I with an unreadable expression.

I grew uneasy as I noticed two other guys of the same stature, one to each side of him against the wall. Their arms were crossed and their eyes were constantly scanning the room. I leaned further into Jason and felt him squeeze my waist before turning to say something in my ear.

“He’s also my oldest friend.”

With that he left my side, shoving the bottle of scotch into Carter’s hand before going with a wide smile to clap Uriah in a handshake. Uriah stood and beamed, enveloping Jason in a hug that suggested they hadn’t seen each other in ages. By the way they talked to each other, I knew it’d been a long time.

“Good to see you, McCann,” Uriah said, his voice easily overshadowing the music blaring in the background. “How long has it been? Three years?”

“Almost four,” Jason answered, stepping away to find a place across the table. He sat, and I moved to stand behind him. I didn’t feel comfortable, even knowing Jason was friends with this man. People changed, especially over four years.

Uriah’s eyes flicked to me and I held a neutral expression, hoping to not come off scared or hostile. I knew this was important to Jason. If I harmed whatever opportunity he was getting, I’d feel guilty for as long as I could see forward into the future. The pressure lifted off my shoulders when Uriah looked back at Jason and began to speak.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, Jason,” he said, a grin playing at the corners of his mouth. “Accomplished quite a bit in the last year?”

Jason leaned back in his seat. “I didn’t invite you to blow smoke up my ass,” he laughed.

“I’m just asking about how you’ve been,” Uriah waved him off. “I want to know all the places you’ve been, people you’ve shoved around, all the good stuff — from you, not other people.”

“Rumors are more fun to hear,” Jason replied simply.

I could sense a hint of tentativeness in his voice. Hadn’t he said they were friends? Maybe the pressure of having so many people around was making him uneasy. The two males both had a lot of power where they were from, and even with their friendship there might have been a need to prove themselves. Everyone wanted to be top dog, and Jason might’ve been letting the intimidation of Uriah’s control get to him.

“Mikey was just telling me about this group you dealt with a while ago,” Uriah ignored Jason, continuing with a story.

I felt a hand grab mine and I nearly jumped, looking down to find Jason looking up at me. “Why don’t you go enjoy the party.”

This was obviously meant to get me to leave the room. I didn’t know why, since he’d said he wanted be there, but I trusted Jason enough to know it was for a reason. Jason knew I could handle my own, but with unfamiliar people I didn’t know what I was going to get. I smiled down at him and nodded, squeezing his hand before turning and leaving the study. The doors closed behind me and I glanced over at the front entrance.

Leo was leaned against the wall to the side of it, arms crossed and looking slightly annoyed. I made my way over and gave him a look as I approached.

“Door duty again?” I asked jokingly.

He rolled his eyes. “Always.” His eyes traveled over to the study, where people shifted between their feet as Jason talked back and forth with Uriah. “Did you get kicked out?”

I shrugged. “More or less. What’s the deal with Uriah, anyway?”

“I’m sure Jason told you he has a lot of influence over people here.” When I nodded, he continued. “He wants to establish his friendship with Uriah right away — make sure people know his name. Smart, really, but kind of risky. One move he doesn’t like, and we’re gone.”

“Gone?” my eyebrow rose.

“Either run out of town or at the bottom of a lake with cinder blocks chained to our ankles,” Leo laughed.

“You take that a lot more lightly than you should,” I told him seriously. Threats were a very real deal, and I sure as hell didn’t want to wind up dead at the end of this.

“We’re not going to die,” Leo reassured me. “As long as Jason makes a good impression, we’ll be fine.”

“I hope so,” I bit the inside of my cheek.

“Honestly, he’s got it under contr–“

The front door banged open and I turned abruptly to see a cocky-looking girl waltz in. Her hair was pitch black and ran the length of her back, ending in a point at her waist. It was a blatant contrast from the white heels and dress she wore, loose only up by her chest. She was obviously wearing a push-up bra, creating almost as much shadow on her breasts as there was on her cheekbones. Her face was well constructed, and blue eyes cast a curious look around the room. She paused only a few seconds before kicking the door closed behind her and striding into the crowd in the main area.

I heaved a breath through my nose and turned back to Leo — only to find him looking like he’d seen a ghost. He was staring after the girl, and I waved a hand in front of his face.

“What’s the matter with you?” I asked.

“That’s–“ he stuttered. “That’s Leah.”

My stomach dropped to my ankles and I whipped back around, trying to find the girl. I could feel my face growing hot, combing the crowd with my eyes to spot her. When I couldn’t see a trace of her, I began striding toward the main room.

“Phoebe!” Leo called after me. “Stop!”

I ignored him, knowing Jason would kill him if he left the door. Leo couldn’t follow me even if he wanted to. I had to find Leah — had to find the girl who’d apparently messed Jason up so bad he wasn’t the same for weeks. What kind of girl could have that power over him? I ground my teeth together as I realized jealously was beginning to spike in me. Why was she here? What the hell did she want?

I stopped just before I would’ve entered the horde of bodies and whipped my head in either direction. Questions whipped through my mind as I tried to pinpoint her. Jason had been in Poway earlier this year, when he supposedly met her — Leah couldn’t live in Oakland, it didn’t make sense. How could she have even heard about this party, let alone have the nerve to show up?

A flash of white fabric caught my eye and I caught her walking up the stairs on the opposite side of the room. I ground my teeth, baffled that she had the audacity to search the house. Before I could stop myself, I plunged through the crowd after her. By the time I’d reached the stairs I had no doubt she was already up, no doubt going through the rooms to find Jason’s. I looked there first, throwing open the door to see her running a manicured hand over the duvet.

She jumped, throwing her head in my direction. A glare formed on her features, and I assumed by the way she wore it that it was a habitual response to people. She tossed a few loose hairs back over her shoulder and stood up straight.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to be up here,” she said, her voice smooth but demanding.

My temper flared. “I don’t think you’re supposed to be here at all.”

Her back straightened even more as my arms crossed over my chest. Leah’s eyes darted over to the closet my clothes occupied and a flicker of recognition glanced her face. She met my level gaze again, a small smirk breaking the surface of her mouth.

“You know who I am,” she said, more of a statement than a question. “May as well introduce myself formally, then.” She stuck out her hand, though there was no way I could reach it from across the room. “Leah Fowler.”

“Get out,” I bit back.

She cleared her throat loudly and dropped her hand to her side. “I don’t believe it’s your place to tell me that.”

Leah was beginning to make my blood boil. I didn’t know why I was so angry, but I was almost blinded by the hatred that was stemming in me. It took all I had in me not to throw myself at her and beat her to a pulp. Who did she think she was?

“This definitely isn’t your place,” I hissed, gesturing to Jason’s — our — room.

Her smirk deepened. “It used to be.”

My jaw clenched, making me speak through my teeth. “Hence the phrase, ‘used to be’.”

Leah ignored me and began strolling about the room, knowing she’d make me even angrier as she cast mock-curious looks around. “You know,” she said conversationally, clasping her hands behind her back. “When I was told Jason had a new girl, I didn’t think they meant a girl.” She spun on her heel and a look of fake concern covered her face. “How old are you, hun? Certainly not old enough for your little fling to be legal.”

I scoffed. “Get the fuck out of here.”

Why was she here in the first place? She left Jason. How did Leah even find this place, and why did she think she could waltz into Jason’s room? For what purpose? My fists clenched as she mocked surprise at my words.

“Honey, you don’t–“

The door behind me banged open and I turned, surprised by the sudden noise. I was even more shocked when Jason stumbled in, leaning against the door for support. His face was pale and his eyes seemed obstructed by an unknown barrier. He never got drunk, so I was worried when I noticed the way he was tripping over himself. Jason tried to move toward me, but thought better of it and leaned against the wall.

“I saw you go upstairs,” he said, his words connecting a little more than they should. “You looked upset, and I wanted to make sure everything was okay. The music is kind of hurting my head, though. I think I want to sleep.”

Jason wasn’t being himself, that much was clear. It couldn’t have been from the small amount of scotch he’d had, or even the secondhand weed-smoking. There wasn’t enough of it in this house to effect him like that.

I stepped toward him, intending to help him stand on his own. If I knew anything about being high or drunk, it was to not let someone sleep when they couldn’t even keep their balance. I was halfway to him, having forgotten Leah was even here, that she spoke up.

“Jason,” she said simply. Her tone was completely changed from the way she’d just been talking to me. She sounded almost pleasant. I could have vomited.

Jason’s vacant eyes snapped up, focusing on the female across the room. My stomach dropped for an unknown reason as I saw recognition flood through him. His face then showed confusion before his face twisted in an expression I could only describe as highly uncomfortable.

“Leah…?” was all he could manage before his eyes rolled back into his head and he dropped to the ground.


	22. ~10.25...2~

I threw out my arm to catch Jason but staggered under his weight. My head hit the wall as we tumbled against it and I winced with the ache spreading through my skull. Jason’s body was limp in my hold, and I strained to see if he was breathing. Heart pounding heavily, my mind was moving too fast to stop and watch his chest.

“Don’t just stand there!” I shouted across the room, pointing a glare at Leah. Her expression was shocked, but I couldn’t tell whether she was genuinely concerned or not. “Go get Xander, or Carter, or someone!”

“Did he just–“

“Fucking move!” I bellowed, sounding loud even with the noise of the music blaring downstairs.

She gave me an icy look before going out the door as fast as she could on her high heels. I quickly discarded any hatred stemming in me. All I could have time for was worrying about Jason, whose arm I slung over my shoulder and slowly lowered to the ground. My hand felt around his left peck, searching for a heartbeat. When I found one a small part of my anxiety vanished. I was able to calm down enough to notice the rise and fall of his chest, short and shallow but present.

What had done this to him? I recounted the whole night in a few seconds — he hadn’t gone downstairs until just before I did, and even then he hadn’t been there long enough to get stoned or hammered. The smoke wasn’t quite potent enough to get him high in that amount of time, most of which we’d spent outside, even. Uriah couldn’t have done anything to him with all those people in the room, but even then it didn’t seem right that he was acting so odd that shortly after going into a party. All I could remember seeing him drink was the scotch–

I could feel the color drain from my face. When he’d swiped the bottle from the counter I hadn’t thought twice of it, even when he’d informed me about someone spiking it. The kick — whatever the hell it was — must’ve been the cause of this.

“Where’s Jason?” I heard Xander call through the hallway. He spun into the room a second later, eyes searching wildly until he found us hunched about ten feet from him. “What the hell happened?”

“I think he drank something,” I told Xander as I glanced down at Jason’s face. Xander kneeled next to us, feeling for a pulse and watching for breathing the same way I had.

“He’s alive,” he said, and I struggled to find patience. I knew he was alive, I just didn’t know by how much.

“We need to get him to a hospital,” I said hurriedly, shooting my gaze over to the doorframe as Leah came back into view.

“Do you want me to call an ambulance?” she asked, digging around in the part of her dress covering her chest. She pulled out a phone a second later and I wrinkled my nose.

“If you’re going to say something, make it helpful,” I spat. “An ambulance would draw in cops, too, and I’m pretty sure this whole party could get thrown in jail for at least two years.”

“I can take him,” Xander said harshly, cutting Leah off from whatever she’d opened her mouth to say. He reached for Jason’s arm and pulled his limp body into a bridal-style hold. Jason’s head lolled to the side, his nose pressed into Xander’s shoulder.

Before either Leah or I could react, Xander was out the door and jogging down the hall. I stood quickly, nearly growling as Leah took off ahead of me. She clicked down the stairs slower than I needed her to, and by the last stair I’d caught up with her. My hand reached out and I more or less pushed her, causing her to stumble and be swallowed by the crowd. If I hadn’t been so stressed about Jason, I would’ve laughed.

My head snapped to attention as I caught Xander in the corner of my eye, jogging around the corner with Jason. I strode after them, coming to a halt as I saw Xander shouting at Carter in front of the door. Carter looked flustered, casting nervous looks at Jason as he received instructions from Xander. Leo stood next to them, stunned at the sight of the unmoving form.

When I reached them, Xander had already turned to go. Leo pulled the door open before brushing past me, shouting about shutting the party down. I had reached the door frame and was intent on following Xander to his car when Carter’s arm thrust out to stop me.

“What the hell?” I snapped, attempting to swat him away. When he remained where he was, my mouth dropped open. “You’re fucking kidding me, right?”

He looked hesitant. “Jason didn’t say you could leave.”

I gave a hoarse, bitter laugh. “He’s not even awake to say that. I’m going with them.”

“If he doesn’t say, it doesn’t happen.” Carter seemed more confident, stepping in front of me to completely block the passage out.

I was trying to figure out how to respond through my shock when Leah’s voice came from behind me.

“Where are they taking him?” she said, a little too passively for the situation.

Carter’s expression dissipated and was replaced by the same baffled look that Leo had worn seeing her that night. He couldn’t form a response to her question and she scoffed loudly.

“Fine, then I’ll just follow him,” she huffed, shoving past both of us.

“What the hell!” I screamed, casting my fiercest look at Carter. “You’re letting that bitch go and not me?”

“I have no power over her,” he said absently. My nails dug into my palms as an attempt to channel my anger.

“You have absolutely no power over me,” I spat. When I tried to push against him, he only threw me back, causing me to scream in frustration. “Let me go, Carter!”

“No,” he shook his head.

The blaring music shut off just then, making it seem as if Carter’s one word had stopped the whole party. I bit my cheek hard and tried not to strangle him. The muscles in his neck were tensing and releasing, showing he was almost as angry as I was.

People were complaining noisily about the lack of music, but Leo’s voice came above all of them, shouting that it was time to go. A few seconds later, an annoyed crowd began flocking to the front and back doors.

My eyes widened. The back door.

I sent Carter one last glare before striding away from him. Weaving my way through the pushy crowd, I kept my eye on the sliding glass door leading to the backyard. I’d just shoved a drunken blonde out of my way when I felt a hand wrap around my forearm and tug me sharply around.

I threw out a punch as I came face to face with Blondie, the same expression on his features as Carter had worn. He was stressed and exasperated, pulling me out of the mass and into the kitchen.

“Let go of me,” I snapped, trying to break from his grasp.

“No,” he said simply, walking us through to the dining room.

“What the hell is your problem?” I strained against him, but he was dragging me too fast through the house to get in a good kick at his knee.

“Right now, you are my problem,” he hissed back, and we plunged through the now thinning crowd of people and came out on the other side, facing the study. Carter was shouting at people, telling them to hit the road or he’d call the cops and bust them for drugs. They left less than pleasantly, and he turned to face us as we approached.

“Good,” Carter breathed, opening the doors wider for me and Blondie to slip inside. Carter stepped out to the opposite side of the doors, shoving the last few people out the front door with Leo.

I attempted to swipe my leg under Blondie’s, but he managed to hook his leg under my own and knock me to the ground. A scream of frustration left my mouth as he let go of me and went straight for the study doors, striding out and slamming them behind him. I was alone in the room, and could see the three guys through the glass. As I got to my feet and ran to the door, I heard a lock click into place and a relieved expression appeared on Blondie’s face.

My nose almost pressed to the glass, I glared at him as he stood right in front of me. Pulse pounding throughout my body, I knew when I got out I would kill all three of them. Jason was on his way to the hospital for something I was the only one who knew about. The whole situation was ridiculous. Unable to contain myself, I kicked the door.

“Fuck you all!” I screamed, receiving nothing more than a glance from Leo. They continued talking but their words were muffled by the barrier between us.

I spun and stalked to the table, slamming my fists against the surface and groaning in anger. Not only was Jason going to the hospital without me, but when he woke up — if he did — Leah would be the first one he’d see. I couldn’t let that happen; wouldn’t. My nails dug into my palms so hard I thought they might break the skin. A thin layer of sweat had found its way onto my brow and my dress suddenly seemed suffocating. I had to get out of here, I had to get to Jason.

A long while back, Tyler had come home from a party so smashed I was surprised he’d even remembered my name. I feared for his life after consuming so much alcohol since he hadn’t puked any of it up. I’d stayed with him in his room at the time, and nearly had a heart attack when he didn’t wake up right away the next morning. But even then, I didn’t feel as strong of a pull to Tyler as I did to Jason now. Maybe it had been because I was actually physically with Tyler, but the anxiety didn’t feel the same.

The last of the party-goers peeled out of the neighborhood, the sound of the horn loud even inside the house. My eyes flashed to the window and I noticed Xander’s car gone, most likely several minutes ago. I’d only been in the study about two minutes, but it felt like an eternity. I wondered how long it took to get to the hospital from the house and hoped it wasn’t more than ten minutes. It could’ve been anything in that scotch, and given his reaction to the substance, being out for as long as Jason was could be dangerous.

My legs gave out and I collapsed into one of the wooden chairs, sighing heavily. The tightness in my chest was still there, clawing at my insides as I rubbed my temples. How long were they going to leave me in here? It couldn’t be all night; they had to go see Jason at one point, right?

I’d witnessed twenty more minutes tick by on the wall clock before I heard the noise of a lock. My body stood and spun abruptly, balance momentarily thrown off by the wedges I wore. I closed the distance in two strides, making it to the glass doors before Leo could even put his hand on the knob. As soon as they were open, I threw my arms at the doors and shoved Leo by his shoulders.

“You asshole!” I shouted, sending him a look that could kill. “How could you let her go and not me? I’m the only one who even knows what the hell happened, and you didn’t let me go with him!”

“Calm down, Phoebe,” Leo snapped, pushing my hands away. I’d attempted to bawl my fists in his shirt, intending to deliver a punch to his gut. I wanted to hit something — someone.

“Don’t tell me to calm down,” I hissed. “He could be dead, you know!”

“He’s not dead,” Carter said as he came around the corner. “Xander just called. Jason is fine.”

A weight lifted off of my shoulders but I was still furious with all three of them. “Just get me in a car and let’s go.”

“No,” Carter said, his answer the same as the last time. My mouth dropped open.

“Carter…” Leo trailed off, sending both of us a weary glance.

“I will die before I let a prick like you boss me around,” I spat, flipping him off before striding toward the door.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

“I thought you were smarter than that, but obviously I was wrong. I’m going to see Jason.”

“No you’re–“

“Carter,” Leo cut him off harshly. “It’s fine. I’ll take her.”

“Damn straight you will,” I scoffed, turning the knob on the front door more rough than I needed to. The cold night air rushed in at me, but I was too energized to feel the difference in temperatures.

“Jason hasn’t said a thing about letting her out of here, and I’ll be damned the time I let her tell me what she’s going to do under our roof!”

“How are you supposed to control me when you can’t even keep your own girl in check?” I retorted without thinking. Carter looked as if he had been stung, and I instantly felt regret for saying something so soon about a touchy subject; but it seemed to have the effect I was going for, which was to shut him up so I could leave.

“Let’s go, Leo,” I said quietly, and stalked out into the night.

I heard the front door close, followed by his footsteps on the grass as he jogged out to the street. The guys had been parking out on the street the past week, so it only took a few seconds to find Leo’s car and slide into the passenger’s side. Leo jogged around to the driver’s side and slid in, shoving his key into the ignition and turning on the car.

“That was a low blow,” he said flatly after we’d been driving for a few minutes. His tone didn’t suggest he was angry, or really anything at all. He was just telling me what I already knew.

I didn’t want to admit my slip, so I just huffed out a breath and stared at the buildings blurring together outside the car. The ride felt like ages without talking, and I sighed in relief as the hospital came into view another few minutes later. Leo had barely come to a stop before I was pushing out of the car and stalking toward the large entrance to the ER. He jogged behind me into the ten-story building the size of at least a block and stood idly as I strode to the front desk.

“Jason McCann,” I rushed, knowing how hospitals worked. I’d been to one enough times to know that all I needed to do was to say a name and I’d be pointed in the right direction.

“Are you a relative?” the tired-looking woman said, glancing at me after clicking around on the computer in front of her.

“No,” I told her, wondering why she’d asked. Was Jason’s condition more serious than I thought? Usually the family-only restriction was used only in extreme situations.

“I can’t let you in to see him, then,” she said blandly, clicking a few more times on her mouse. “He hasn’t woken up yet, but you can wait in the chairs over there until he does.”

“I need to see him now,” I said in much the same tone, baffled by the fact she wasn’t going to let me in.

“You’re not a relative or a partner,” she nearly rolled her eyes. My jaw clenched.

“I’m his girlfriend,” I said before I could stop myself. Jason and I hadn’t specified exactly what we were, but we hadn’t been particularly worried about a title in the privacy of Jason’s house. The word sounded nicer than it maybe should have coming out of my mouth, but I didn’t have the patience to think about it more than I had in that few seconds.

“His girlfriend went in a while ago,” the woman said, eyeing me skeptically.

My jaw tightened even more, and I thought my teeth might break under the force. Leah.

“She’s not his girlfriend,” I nearly spat, feeling my blood beginning to boil again. How the hell did she think she could pull all this?

I received an exasperated look before she bent her head down, scribbling something I couldn’t see. A few seconds later a visitor’s sticker was placed in front of me on the desk.

“Sign in,” she grumbled, glancing back at her computer screen. “He’s in room 621. Take the elevator to your left.”

Satisfied but still angry, I hastily jotted my name down on the clipboard set to the side of the desk and placed the sticker on the top half of my dress. I glanced back at Leo before giving her a quick thanks. Since he didn’t follow, I assumed Leo didn’t want to see Jason — I understood, since being a part of the group wasn’t necessarily his choice, but still felt a little frustration toward him. Sure, Jason was fine, but the lack of concern bothered me.

Deciding to drop it, I rushed to the elevators and pushed the up button a few times. When the doors finally opened I stepped inside and repeatedly hit the six, tapping my foot impatiently as the elevator took forever to close. I was stressed beyond belief, angry with Carter for not letting me come sooner; furious with Leah for being Leah; and frustrated with the whole situation I was in. I shouldn’t have been going to the hospital to see Jason — we should’ve still been joking on the back deck, avoiding the party he was hosting and sipping a bottle of untainted scotch.

The elevator doors opened onto the sixth floor and I slipped out. My eyes scrambled to find the sign on the wall that pointed to Jason’s room and made a quick right after finding it. I counted the room numbers under my breath until my feet stopped at 621. Without hesitating I opened the door.

The room smelled strongly of antiseptic and held a dark quality to it, but that could’ve just been the wall of windows letting in what little light the night gave. The whole rest of the setting was a combination of white and off-white, the pattern only broken by Xander’s clothing. He was standing off in the corner, looking both annoyed and strung out at the same time. Leah’s form, clad in a different shade of white, was bent over Jason on the hospital bed. She wore a neutral look with an underlying tone of worry. I was going to strangle her.

Leah had jumped noticeably when I pushed the door open, and Xander had given me an irritated look that I didn’t know who was meant to receive it. I glared back at Leah, ignoring him.

“They let you in?” she said, seemingly indifferent.

“Fuck off,” I said, kicking the room’s door closed and striding over to the hospital bed.

I jutted my hip out to wedge between Leah and Jason, and managed to separate the two of them. She huffed a maddened response before making sure to bump my leg with her heel as she slipped around to the other side of Jason. I fell into the chair next to me.

“Did someone tell you what was wrong?” I pointed my question toward Xander, knotting my fingers in the thin blanket that’d been placed over Jason.

He shrugged. “They just told me he was fine. No one has said why–“

The room’s door glided open and a middle-aged man walked in with a clipboard, looking between all three of us before moving to shake Xander’s hand. He introduced himself as Dr. Ben Hanson, then asked a few short questions about Jason’s history. After telling the doctor Jason didn’t regularly use drugs or get drunk, he flipped a page on his clipboard.

“When Mr. McCann came in, you told us you thought he’d taken a drink from a spiked beverage?” he asked Xander.

“Right,” Xander nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. “As far as I know, that’s the only thing he took in tonight.”

I rested my hand lightly on Jason’s forearm. Xander seemed to be handling the doctor well, so I decided to stay quiet. I knew I’d lose all patience if I had to talk to him. Leah was fidgeting across from me, retaining about as much tolerance for waiting as I was for her.

“When you brought him in, the emergency room doctors performed a gastric irrigational procedure — stomach pumping,” the doctor explained as my gut knotted. “Hearing that you’d come from a party, it seemed like a good option for getting any toxins out of his body immediately. I heard Mr. McCann had only had a few sips of scotch and was skeptical, given the state at which he’d come in. My curiosity got the better of me, and I ordered a test on the refuse of his stomach.”

Leah wrinkled her nose with a disgusted noise and it took everything within me not to reach across the bed and strangle her. The glare I shot her let her know she wasn’t welcomed, as if my words hadn’t made it clear enough. Jason could’ve been drugged, and she was disgusted by the process that may or may not have taken it out of his body.

“Did you find anything?” Xander asked, trying to mask his concern. He always seemed to take on the “second-in-command” role the way my brother did with Markus, which entailed hiding certain emotions in pressure situations. It was both irritating and admirable at the same time.

“Actually,” the doctor said with a raised eyebrow. “Yes. There were traces of a plant called Belladonna. The berries are poisonous, and the leaves even more so. Luckily for Mr. McCann, only a small amount of berries had been diffused through the drink he’d consumed. Any more for any longer, and he wouldn’t be anywhere close to the stable condition he’s in now.”

I didn’t feel like I could react. A plant had done this to Jason? What kind of berry could knock a guy like him off his feet? It seemed like a long shot, but if the doctor had run tests, who was I to act like I knew better? I bit my lip. The doctor said if Jason had taken in any more, he wouldn’t be stable — meaning that he wouldn’t have a guarantee of being alive.

“When will he wake up?” I asked. Jason was breathing noticeably, steady now that the poison was out of his system. The IV bag connected to the back of his hand was about half empty, and the heart rate monitor sounded normal.

“It’ll be at least another hour,” the doctor said. I caught Leah in the corner of my eye pasting a worried look onto her face, but chose to ignore it in favor of listening to the doctor. “He did take in a toxin that could’ve killed him; would have, had he gotten here fifteen minutes later.”

My stomach seemed to drop further at the possible outcome, but I was relieved underneath that Jason was going to be okay. Maybe it had been Leah’s unannounced trespassing that had thrown me off, but it felt like my emotions were swaying every which way and more extreme than usual. My hand tightened around Jason’s forearm as the doctor continued with his words pointed toward Xander.

“He’ll be awake by morning, but he needs time to recover. Visiting hours are technically over, but I can let you three stay. I don’t want you to try to wake him up at all, though.” He passed a look between the three of us, his eyes lingering on Leah and I. I heard Leah huff under her breath and I struggled to hold in the same reaction.

“Thanks,” Xander said, and the doctor gave a nod before walking out.

There was a long silence where I sat looking at Jason, staring at his sleeping features. He seemed more relaxed, like he always did, when he wasn’t focused on anything. The lack of creases in his forehead made him look like the kid he’d told me about in the restaurant, going out to eat with his mother every once in a while and doing things a normal kid would do. One who hadn’t gotten mixed up in everything yet; one who hadn’t gotten poisoned at his own party.

A sigh came from Leah and I stiffened, looking up to find her already flashing a calculating gaze at me. My eyebrow rose, the only response I wanted to show her even with the anger boiling in my gut. Jason had almost died, and I wasn’t going to waste my energy on someone irrelevant to him and I.

“Leo’s in the lobby,” I told Xander, eyes unwavering from Jason’s form.

“I figured,” he said flatly. “Is he coming up?”

“Not that I know of.”

“They’re going to make him leave if he’s not in a room.”

“Go get him, then,” I answered, glancing at him. A look of territorial annoyance passed over his face. He was probably angry being told what to do by me, but I didn’t care.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He shifted his weight, looking between the two girls sat on either side of Jason.

I rolled my eyes. I could be civil for five minutes. Leah had nothing on me; she couldn’t hurt me if she tried, and I wasn’t about to let Xander convince her I was afraid.

“Just go,” I said. “I promise I won’t kill her.”

“Mature.” Sarcasm dripped from just the one word. I chose not to fuel her ego with a reply.

Xander gave us one last glance before pushing out into the hall.

“What did he promise you?” Leah asked immediately after the door shut.

My gaze flashed to her. “What are you talking about?” I could already feel the dam holding back my temper beginning to break.

“Jason,” she said, sitting back in the chair she’d found. “What did he say to you to get you to sleep with him?”

My jaw went slack and I gaped at her. Her question had caught me off guard. I’d expected something along the lines of an insult or a derogatory name. In terms of what she’d actually asked, I had no idea what she meant. Even if I intended to humor her with an answer, I wouldn’t know what to say.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I know your story, Honey,” Leah continued, an attempt to sound superior evident in her tone. “I used to live around Poway. I’m a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them. Your brother hates Jason with a burning passion, and siblings tend to think alike. I know Jason took you into his house there. What I’m curious to know is why you’re here. You’re obviously sleeping together; but what did he say to get you to come all the way to Oakland like some misguided, well-intentioned follower?”

I snorted. “Isn’t that what you are, though? Beside the ‘well-intentioned’ part, of course. Last I heard, you disappeared back in March. What made you decide to show up now with the coincidence of being in the area? To me, there are no coincidences, and to say that’s the reason you’re here is bullshit.”

She laughed, but the sound wasn’t amused. “I live here. Not that it should matter to you, but Oakland is where Jason and I met. You’re not the only girl to move with him, Hon. The difference between you and I is simply that I wasn’t a token of power; I wasn’t an object to Jason.”

I wasn’t affected by her words. Similar things were said to me at the previous party Jason had thrown, but none of it mattered to me anymore; Jason had proven I wasn’t something he wanted to throw aside. What bothered me most was that she’d moved with Jason in the same way I had; but was she telling the truth? Her story made sense, but no one was here to hold her accountable. For all I knew, Leah had anticipated this conversation with me before she even stepped onto the front lawn. She’d obviously known who I was within the first few seconds of laying eyes on me.

“I have every right to care about Jason,” she stuck her chin up, placing her hand on the bed beside his.

“You have a funny way of showing you do,” I snapped before I could even think about what I was saying. I didn’t want to play this game with her, didn’t want to make her think I was as immature as she had me pegged for. Any immediate response from me was going to come out that way.

“You have no faith in him,” she rolled her eyes. “Jason is tough; anyone who’s been living with him for almost two months should know that by now. There’s no way a plant was going to take him out — he’ll go out in style, if at all. I, of course, know that, and have no problem remaining relaxed about the situation.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, sending a glare across the hospital bed. Who the hell did she think she was, making assumptions about me? She was obviously trying to get inside my head, make me think I shouldn’t be with Jason. Leah had another thing coming — I wasn’t leaving.

“Nothing you say is going to change what I think,” I told her, my voice as level as possible. I needed to show her that she wasn’t affecting me; she’d probably lose interest and leave. My hand squeezed Jason’s forearm involuntarily. “You’re not going to get into that house, or get me out.”

She laughed. “Don’t flatter yourself. I heard Jason was back, and thought I’d drop by to say ‘welcome home’. You never crossed my mind.”

My teeth ground together. “I don’t think a friendly greeting entails waiting in his room at a party.”

“Who said Jason and I were just friendly?” A smirk found its way onto her face and I felt anger rising in my chest.

“You need to leave,” I told her, an edge of hostility in my voice I didn’t know I could manage. Leah needed to leave the way she did before, disappearing from Jason’s life for good rather than popping up a few months later. “Now.”

“I could say the same for you,” she sighed, looking at her nails as a way of showing her boredom. Her eyes flicked to me. “You seem to care about him a lot more than you should; being Sam’s sister, and all.”

I didn’t have time to spit a reply back at her before the door leading to the hall opened. Xander and Leo entered, both looking tired and moody. This was the last place any of us wanted to be right now, and it showed. Leo’s eyes fell to Leah, casting her a look that was less in-awe than when she’d first waltzed in. The silence they’d created hung over the room like a heavy blanket.

“Lucas needs me back at the house,” Xander said, digging car keys out of his pocket. “You heard the doctor; Jason needs sleep. If one of you wakes him up before at least two hours has passed, your ass will have me to deal with.”

I chose not to say anything as he swept one last glance over Leo, Leah, and I. Without saying anything else, Xander pushed out the door, closing it with a click that rang throughout the room. My eyes watched an impatient-looking Leo cross the floor to another chair and sit down heavily. Before I could bring myself to say anything, I turned to look back at Jason.

There was no way I was going to continue the conversation that’d been going back and forth between Leah and I while someone else was in the room. Her last words still circulated throughout my head, my mind trying to pick them apart and find something lying underneath.

You seem to care about him a lot more than you should; being Sam’s sister, and all.

What did she even know about my brother? Or about my feelings toward Jason? Moving with him to Oakland was supposed to be like hitting a “reset” button, not a reminder of what I’d left behind. I didn’t want to think about my brother, or Tyler, or anyone else I’d been connected to. Somehow Leah knew more about me than she should’ve, and having her there was going to bring up everything I didn’t want to carry with me. Even so, what had she meant by “more than I should”? Who was she to be telling me how much I should care about Jason? I hadn’t even thought about what kind of feelings I’d developed for him; how could she know more about them than me?

My jaw tightened at my thoughts. I knew Leah wasn’t going to leave, but neither was I. Leo couldn’t really go without me, since Carter had been so anal about keeping me at the house. I let out a breath and began tapping my foot.

It was going to be a long night.


	23. ~10.26~

It was about two o’clock in the morning before a nurse came in to check on Jason. She didn’t say anything about us being there past hours, instead giving us sympathetic looks. After tapping a few things on the monitor next to his bed, she cast Jason a tired glance and swept out of the room.

Leah still sat opposite from me, her eyes studying Jason without reprieve. I held in a snide comment, not wanting to get into another long-winded discussion about who knew Jason better and who was the right fit. I was sure Leah felt the same since she’d made no move to insult or degrade me further. Leo sat across the room from us, slumped in a sparsely cushioned chair with his head lolled, sleeping. I was tired too, the stress of the night beginning to wear on me. I needed a coffee, but didn’t have the energy to go and find one.

My hand was still on Jason’s forearm ten minutes later when it started to twitch. I automatically straightened, suddenly wide awake at his movement. Leah noticed my abruptly stiffened posture and seemed to sit up too. Too excited to be furious with her, a dumbly relieved smile crept onto my face as Jason’s eyelids flickered and opened slowly as he sucked in a heavy breath.

A throaty groan escaped him as I felt his muscles tense, an attempt to stretch out his body. My fingers laced in his and squeezed in an effort to get him to look at me. Jason had been out for several hours, and I was incredibly happy to see him conscious after drinking whatever shit had been put in that bottle.

“Goddamn,” he struggled to say. His voice sounded like he hadn’t had water in days. Jason’s head rolled to face me and my heart swelled. “Phoebe… My head hurts like hell. Did I puke? I’m so hungry.”

I bit my lip, a small smile still present. Deciding to opt out of telling him he’d almost died, I lifted his hand to place a kiss to his knuckles. He gave me a confused look, then cast a long sweep of the room.

“Why the hell am I in a hospital?” he asked, the roughness in his throat putting an edge in his tone.

It was another two seconds before Jason’s eyes landed on Leah, sitting expectantly on the other side of the bed. I almost scoffed at her, but jealousy inflated inside my chest at the look Jason was giving her. It wasn’t much more than recognition in his expression, but for some reason any thought of him looking at her with an emotion beside hatred made my blood boil. Moreover, thinking of what Leah had meant to him, even long before me, gave me a feeling similar to a well-placed punch in the gut. I felt like I was being torn by the two emotions.

My feelings were smothered a little by the sudden pleasure I felt as Jason’s face twisted in anger. Leah was obviously shocked, having been giving him a smile that begged him to take her home. There was no mistaking the repulsion in Jason’s expression.

“Get the fuck out,” he said through clenched teeth.

Her mouth dropped open. “Do you even know where you are? Jason, you almost died. I think you should be recovering before you jump to any conclusions about me.”

“I don’t need to jump to conclusions,” he nearly growled. “I know what you’re about, and I know why you’re here. Get out and don’t ever think about coming back again.”

“I’m not like that anymore,” she pleaded, a whine in her voice. “Jason, I’ve changed.”

“Come back when you’re done lying,” Jason spat. “On second thought, don’t.”

I’d never seen Jason so angry with a girl before. There’d been a couple interactions when Grant had brought girls home, but other than that, hatred had never even come to my mind when I thought of how he felt toward women. I wasn’t necessarily upset with his attitude with Leah, but it didn’t sit right with me that she had this kind of emotional effect on him. But what had she changed from — being a narcissistic bitch? Because that hadn’t changed in the slightest.

“I’m not lying,” Leah pushed. “I promise.”

“Your promises mean nothing to me,” Jason fired back with all the ice he had in his voice. I found myself recoiling a bit, not having seen the depth of this side of him, even the first time I’d met him. What had Leah done to screw with him this much? I bit my lip, a sick feeling settling in my stomach.

“You’re not even going to give me time to explain?” Leah’s frown deepened and she looked genuinely hurt.

“Not a chance.” He grimaced, his hand going up to rub his temple. “Dammit. Do you have any Advil?”

I shook my head, not trusting myself to open my mouth. If I did, I would’ve asked too many questions in a short amount of time. Over the past few weeks I’d learned to ask in moderation, since wanting to know more than a few things about him at once would make Jason shut down—especially about his past, and especially about Leah. It was frustrating sometimes, but I understood. People like Jason weren’t used to sharing, and I counted myself as extraordinarily lucky to have heard about his mom in that restaurant a week ago.

“What are you still doing here?” Jason whipped his head at Leah. “I thought I told you to get the fuck out.”

“Jason,” she said, visibly stricken. She probably wasn’t used to being told no. “I–“

“Take your sorry excuse of a life and leave.” Jason’s fists were clenched in the sheets covering his body, and I was glad I’d pulled my hand away from his. “You filthy, lying bitch. Don’t let me see your face again, or I won’t give you another warning before sending a bullet through your skull.”

Leah’s eyes filled with tears as my jaw went slack. I wasn’t fond of her by any means, but hearing Jason speak to her that way seemed so wrong. What could harbor that level of hatred for this long? As far as I knew, they hadn’t seen each other in months. His threat to her life sent an unmistakeable chill through me, and suddenly I didn’t want to be in the room. I’d never actually felt anger radiating from someone, but I was sure this was the experience.

She stood abruptly, teetering on her high heel. I could tell Leah didn’t want either of us to see her cry by the way she was scrunching her face. We were spared the sight of her tears as she spun and strode toward the door. I saw Leo push to his feet in the corner of my eye, looking around confused stupor. After throwing the door open, Leah stopped mid-step. Her head turned to the side, pointing her next words toward Jason.

“Threatening me will cost you,” she spoke evenly, though her hands were shaking. “You can count yourself a target, Jason. I’ve changed, but I see you haven’t.” She turned around fully, looking me dead in the eye. “Have fun watching your world fall apart, Phoebe. Being tied to that bastard is a liability. Leave while you still can.”

With that, she slid out of the room and the door closed with a deafening thud.

I stared at the spot Leah had occupied. She’d just given me more questions than she’d answered. My head was reeling; what connections did she have that could actually pose a threat to Jason? As far as I knew, Uriah was the strongest man in the area, and Jason had said they were good friends. Other than that, I couldn’t imagine anyone having the guts to go after him; but what had Leah meant about my world falling apart? I wasn’t scared in the least of others, not only because I lived with Jason, but because I’d been raised that way. Until proven, no one posed a threat to me — especially not Jason, who she’d said was a liability. Leah had to have been lying, but the information didn’t sit right with me. Combined with the way Jason reacted toward her, so openly stating he’d kill her, I felt sick.

“Phoebe,” Jason’s voice came from my right, snapping me out of my thoughts. I felt his hand on my forearm and I reflexively pulled it away. The look he gave me immediately made me feel bad for jumping, but my uneasiness overpowered anything else I was thinking of.

“I’m going to find a drink,” I told him flatly, standing fast enough to make my chair groan against the floor. My hands clasped in front of me and I turned. “I’ll see if I can get water for you.”

I didn’t look back before pushing into the hall. The door closed behind me and I took in a long breath. I hadn’t wanted to sit in that room feeling so uncomfortable. Had being a shut-in with Jason for almost two months made me forget about how he presented himself to the outside? It wasn’t even just a presentation — I knew, probably better than anyone, that Jason followed through with his threats word for word.

Images of our yard while living back in Poway, completely destroyed, and the finishings on our house totally ripped apart. I remembered the shouting match my brother and Markus had in the kitchen about Jason, screaming at one another to either be more careful or to attack full-on. Sam reminded Markus less than kindly about the very specific threats Jason had thrown at them, and pointed out that everything was exactly as he’d said. Jason had also taken half of our weed that month, and in doing so pissed off my brother and Markus to no end.

It made me uneasy how upsetting this side of Jason caused me to feel. I’d always been able to understand the front Tyler or my brother, and especially Markus, had to put up when dealing with outsiders; the sucky attitude put off a certain air, one that intimidated people. With the kind of life we had, it was necessary in keeping everyone in their place; but with Jason, threats meant more than just words. My stomach always turned upside down when I thought of killing someone, but there was no remorse in Jason’s voice as he’d spoken to Leah. I’d been scared for her — sure, I didn’t like her, but that didn’t mean I wanted her dead.

The only conclusion I could draw from my thoughts was that I was overreacting. I was tired from being up so long, stressed from Jason’s near-death experience, and on-edge with Leah’s appearance. In all reality I should be happy with Jason for shoving Leah away; but no matter how hard I tired as I walked down the quiet hallway, I couldn’t get their words out of my head.

I won’t give you another warning before sending a bullet through your skull.

Leave while you still can.

Leah’s direction had no real weight to it, but I didn’t know if I wanted it to. Jason hadn’t given me a reason to leave yet, and I doubted he ever would—unless he killed someone. That was the one thing I could never handle, could never imagine ending someone’s life without my own being thrown into the mix. If I were to find out Jason had killed anyone since moving here with him, going back home wouldn’t be a second thought. I couldn’t live with a killer.

My head shook vigorously, trying to clear my thoughts. He wasn’t a killer, even being who he was. Jason had shown me in these two months that he actually had a humane soul inside of him. That was one of the things I liked best about him; the fact that he could be so rude to his guys and turn around and laugh with me was comforting. I had to focus on the good things, rather than what a lying bitch had tried to trick me into thinking.

I found a vending machine at the end of the hallway. Cursing under my breath, I realized I didn’t have any cash. I looked around the lobby and glanced at the nurse tending the desk. About to ask for two dollars, I thought better of it and decided to try downstairs. There had to be a fountain somewhere, or cups with a dispenser. My hand found the button for the elevator and I stepped inside a few seconds later. I came out on the main level after about a minute.

The lady who’d let me in sat typing at the front desk, and I decided to make my way to her. I stepped in front of the counter and rested my hands on the cold surface, chewing the inside of my cheek as I waited for her to pause.

“What can I do for you?” she asked in a bored voice, looking up briefly from the keyboard.

“Can you tell me where I can get water?” I asked. “Free, preferably.”

She gave me a calculating look before pointing down the hall to the right. “There’s a fountain over there. I think there are cups, but I’m not sure. It’s after hours, you know,” she added.

I nodded. “The nurse said she’d let us stay. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction.”

With that, I walked where the woman had pointed me to. Sure enough, an old drinking fountain rested against the wall, and a stack of cups was conveniently placed to the side. I pulled two from the top and filled one for myself, chugging it down before I could think twice. After filling it again I did the same thing, hardly pausing for a breath. When I finished the second I stopped, leaning my weight against the wall.

I felt so warn down, like I needed a permanent break. The recent events with Leah and Jason should have blown over, since he was okay and she’d been more or less kicked out by him; but everything else seemed even more than I was used to. With the new move came territorial dangers, and also Leah; with Leah came death threats from Jason, and with his threats came my aversion. I knew I’d just run through everything in my head, but the weight stressed me out more than it should’ve. I had to remind myself that I was being irrational.

It hardly felt like I was.

I filled the two cups with water and made my way back to the elevators, hitting the up bottom with my elbow. As I stepped onto Jason’s level, Leo came out of his room down the hall in a gust of annoyance and haste. My eyebrow rose at him and he immediately let out a long, relieved breath when he saw me. I was further confused when his hurried atmosphere dissipated just like that.

“What was that about?” I asked, handing him the cup I hadn’t used. He took it and downed it in much the same way I had, not answering me until he was finished.

“Nothing,” Leo brushed me off, halfway turning. “Come on.”

“No,” I stated simply.

I was beginning to grow tired of his avoidance of me. In the past two weeks his openness had completely declined with every subject. More specifically, he hadn’t been answering any direction questions I had about my brother or Emmett. Now that I was already on edge, I couldn’t have found a better time to confront him.

“Tell me why you were all stressed out,” I said, “and why you stopped when you saw me.”

The corners of his mouth tipped down. “I just wanted to see if you needed any help.”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t bullshit me, Leo.”

“I’m not,” he answered simply. His shoulders turned so he wasn’t facing me. “Jason wants to see you, and he probably wants that water too.”

Suddenly, something in my brain seemed to click.

“Jason sent you out, didn’t he?” I questioned, holding my position in front of the elevator. “He thought I’d made a run for it.”

Leo’s silence was all the conformation I needed.

Scoffing, I shifted my weight to my right hip. “He still doesn’t trust me.”

It was hardly a question, but even facing away from me I could see Leo’s head nod. Just the acknowledgement of Jason’s lack of faith seemed to hit me in the stomach, ache spreading throughout my body. Why couldn’t he give me any credit, especially after these two months? Had what we’d been doing — not even sex, but the way we communicated and interacted with each other — mean nothing to him in terms of my character? Every night I had the choice of sneaking out the back door or the balcony, yet I hadn’t. I hadn’t tried getting my phone or my gun since I’d pulled up the board that day and realized my brother didn’t care enough about me. I’d remained more loyal to Jason than I had to Tyler, and I’d only really known Jason two months. Didn’t that mean anything to him?

“Just come on, Phoebe,” Leo pleaded. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does,” I replied, my voice sounding more hurt than I meant it to. Leo seemed to notice and turned around, trying to read my expression. I clenched my jaw and looked away. Why was I so hurt by this? I’d turned to Jason out of spite when Tyler hadn’t texted me or tried to get me out. I had convinced myself that Tyler had pushed me to Jason. They all had, according to my reason. But now, with the feeling of hurt passing over me, it didn’t seem like that was the reason. After all, I had to be drawn to Jason to keep sleeping in his room at night.

“Phoebe–“

“Don’t,” I held up a hand. I needed space to cool down. Everything tonight was getting to me, and it seemed every second something was being added to the pile. What I wanted, needed, was to go sit somewhere by myself and breathe.

The elevator doors behind me began to close and my head snapped up. I made the split-second decision to slip inside, pressing the button to close the doors as fast as I could. Leo ran up to the opening but it closed just as he appeared in front of me. Knowing his first action would be to take the stairs down to the first level, I hit the three and leaned back against the wall. When the doors opened again I traded places with a nurse who smiled politely. I didn’t have the energy to return the grin before pushing past her and finding a sitting area down the hall.

I collapsed into a chair and set the cup of water to the side. As I rubbed my temples I took in deep breaths. I needed sleep, and I needed explanations. Leo had to stop blowing off my questions about my brother and Emmett, and Jason had to tell me why he didn’t trust me. Granted, he’d been a part of this life way too long to put faith in someone so easily, but this long had to be enough time to at least know I wouldn’t leave him in a hospital after him having almost died.

My lip was taken between my teeth as I realized I was letting this get to me too much. Everything between Jason and I had started falsely, if it’d even turned into anything. I would’ve liked to think it hadn’t, not only to save myself the guilt of separating myself from Tyler without his knowledge, but to avoid the physical and emotional dangers that came with Jason; but the heaving feeling in my chest told me I couldn’t have stopped it if I’d wanted to. Constantly, I realized, I was being reminded of just how much I cared about Jason.

I didn’t feel about Jason the way I did about Tyler. It was different, almost refreshingly so, but unsettling. Jason was exhilarating — every time we touched, it felt like I was high. I was relaxed, but charged with energy at the same time. At any given time before tonight, I hadn’t stopped smiling in his presence since we’d moved to Oakland. Jason was like a drug, one I couldn’t quite get enough of; until of course, I realized the depth of my addiction. With Tyler, it felt familiar and comforting, but a sick feeling twisted in my gut when I couldn’t find the same affectionate flutter I always got when thinking of him. Ever since I’d seen my empty phone, I hadn’t been able to remember exactly what loving Tyler felt like. The realization was terrifying.

For as long as I’d known Tyler, we’d been inseparable. We’d met when I was almost nine, and began our relationship when I was fourteen; he’d been sixteen at the time. It felt right — Sam had even approved. For the last three years, I’d believed I loved Tyler, and couldn’t imagine a day where we’d break up. He was always there, always ready to help, and always ready to love me. I told him I felt the same; but was it really love if I could not only cheat on him, but lose the luster of his name in my mind in just two months? The answer was no, but I couldn’t bring myself to put my admission of guilt into a full thought.

There was no overarching excitement like with Jason. What I had here in Oakland, able to spend time away from home and with Jason, was more intense; but if what I’d felt for Tyler wasn’t love, then what was this with the person I was supposed to hate most in the world? It was insane and it was dangerous — I’d never admit it was love, even if I thought it was. I shouldn’t trust Jason either way, given what he’s involved with, and in return I shouldn’t expect him to trust me.

What I first needed to focus on was getting answers from Leo. Unable to admit it was a distraction, I took a few long gulps of air before standing. He’d probably be frantically looking for me, but I didn’t care. I’d needed a break, and though it hadn’t been much of one, my irrational thoughts had been pushed to the side to make room for what was a more pressing matter. Emmett’s whereabouts, for one — even though we’d left Poway, Leo must’ve been keeping his ear out until the second we hit the road. Emmett had to be back by now, especially with a screwed up leg. It amazed me how much tolerance he had for pain, but even he couldn’t recover from something that fast. He’d been shot in his lower leg, shin bone probably shattered from the bullet. If that were the case, there was no way he could be running off anywhere he pleased.

I left the cup of water beside the chair and made my way to the elevator. Eventually Leo would give up searching and come back upstairs. He’d figure it out that I couldn’t have made it out of sight by the time he reached the ground level, and would probably realize I wouldn’t run away. I’d stop him and make him tell me what he knows, even if I had to drag it out of him.

My finger found the elevator’s button and I waited for a few seconds. The dial above the doors dinged repeatedly, signaling it’d been down on the first floor before I called for it. I shifted my weight as the doors began to slide open, then jumped in surprise. Leo was standing in the elevator, arms crossed and fuming.

“There you are,” he growled, looking about as surprised as I was. “Get in. Now.”

“Screw off,” I mumbled back, stepping in beside him. The doors slid closed and he reached to hit the six, but I caught his arm. “Don’t.”

His eyebrow rose and I leaned against the railing along the wall. He gave me a long, calculating look. “What?”

“You’re going to tell me, one way or another, what happened to Emmett,” I said flatly. Leo opened his mouth, but I cut him off. “Don’t you dare say you don’t know, because I can tell you do. I don’t know why you’re keeping it from me, but you need to know that every time you don’t tell me, I’m more and more tempted to go home and find out just what you’re hiding.”

He watched me carefully, trying to judge whether or not I was bluffing about leaving. Truthfully, going home to people who didn’t seem to care about me wasn’t appealing, but the fact of the matter was that I cared about them. I would go back if it meant knowing everyone was okay.

“I don’t know where Gravings is,” Leo replied, his nostrils flaring. “There’s a reason I haven’t told you anything.”

“I’d love to hear it.”

“You just did,” he snapped defensively. “It pisses me off that you think I’m lying. Disappointing you is the last thing I want to do, especially the way we left him, but I’m telling you the truth. I don’t know where he is.”

There wasn’t an uncertainty in Leo’s tone or expression like there had been the last time I’d asked him. I doubted he’d had any time to prepare this response, since every time I asked it seemed to blindside him. It shouldn’t have, given the state I’d first approached him in, but somehow he seemed to recoil whenever the subject arose. Something else seemed to spike my memory, and the question was out of my mouth before I could stop it.

“They didn’t try to come after you, did they?” I asked, remembering our first conversation. “Sam, Tyler, Markus, or Pete? You said the second they did, you were out.”

He shook his head. “No, they didn’t. I don’t think I even got close enough to let them know I was curious, but I looked thoroughly and can tell you only that I don’t know where Gravings is.”

The repeated use of Emmett’s last name spiked an annoyance that wasn’t entirely justified. It just seemed so impersonal, but I needed to understand that Leo saw the people I care about as rivals, enemies even. I was about to say something else when a phone rang out in his pocket. He dug it out and held it to his ear.

“I found her,” he said immediately. A sick feeling churned in me as I realized it was Jason, and was reminded of his lack of trust. “No, she went to find water.” Leo glanced long and hard at me, seeming to make a decision. “No, there wasn’t a fountain anywhere and none of us have cash for the vending machines. She was just making sure there really were none before coming back up. Okay. We’ll be back up soon.”

He slid the phone back into his pocket. My arms crossed and I studied his face as he hit the button that sent the elevator up.

“Why did you do that?” I asked. “Why lie for me?”

He shrugged. “Jason’s had enough shit happen tonight without hearing you bolted at the first mention of him not having confidence in your reliability. He doesn’t need that digging at him, and neither do you.”

I let out a long sigh, thankful I’d made friends with Leo within the first few days of being at Jason’s house. He’d told me once that the only reason he’d gotten involved with Jason’s group was his conscience, not wanting a debt hanging over his head after Jason saved his life. Even though it sounded as if he didn’t give a rat’s ass about Jason, the fact that he’d stayed with the group for this long showed loyalty and a certain amount of care. With Leo on good terms with both Jason and I, he was a good friend and a useful one.

“Thanks,” I said quietly as the doors opened to the sixth floor. “How did Jason even get his phone? He’s been out since we left the house.”

“I brought it for him,” Leo said, waiting for me to begin walking toward Jason’s room before following behind. “I gave it to Jason before I went to find you.”

I didn’t reply as I pulled open the door to Jason’s room. He was lying down, holding his phone above his face and scrolling through something with a crease in his forehead. As his eyes found me, an expression with a hint of relief climbed into his stare. I gave a wry smile before taking up my empty chair, not scooting it closer to his bed. Jason seemed to notice but didn’t say anything, and I didn’t make any move to make up for it. I still had an uncomfortable feeling from his death threat and realizing my feelings for him weren’t as limited as I’d thought.

“I couldn’t find water,” I said. “We can probably call a nurse, though.”

Jason shook his head as Leo took his previous seat. “It’s okay.” He yawned. “I’m exhausted, even for being out as long as Leo said I was. I’ll ask for some the next time I wake up.”

I nodded, leaning back in my seat. Jason gave me a long look with an expression I couldn’t read before settling back under the sheets over his torso and closing his eyes. Ten minutes later, he’d already begun to snore a little. I watched him with the inside of my cheek between my teeth, a heavy feeling inside my chest.

Two months ago, Jason’s rash actions didn’t surprise me. Two months ago, Tyler’s behavior wouldn’t have had this severe of an effect on me. Two months ago, I didn’t feel this way about Jason; didn’t even feel this way about Tyler. Two months ago, I knew I had my head on straight.

I drew in a deep breath, not meaning to let it shake as it left my lungs. My hands wrung together in my lap and I closed my eyes.

“Leah was right,” Leo’s tired voice came from behind me. “You care about him a hell of a lot more than you should.”

I stiffened, my first instinct to be angry with both him and Leah for saying something like that. About to turn and send him a glare, I stopped. My frustration wasn’t pointed toward their false accusation, because they weren’t wrong. I was mad at myself, for letting it get this far; for even letting it start in the first place. It could’ve been the lack of sleep, or everything on top of that, but I felt so weak.

What would it say about me if I didn’t have the strength to protect myself from Jason if it came to that? It terrified me, but I didn’t know how to avoid it. Just the thought of having to separate myself from him let in a sick feeling I couldn’t shake. My main worry, though, was not me caring about Jason like this — my worry was that he didn’t feel the same way.

If this was love, I didn’t know if I wanted any part of it; or if I could even stop it.


	24. 10.26...2

Jason was discharged from the hospital at about ten that morning with instructions to drink water and eat. Leo drove us back to the house with Jason in the passenger seat and me in the back. The ride was mostly silent, spare for the radio playing quietly in the background. I stared blankly out the window, watching downtown Oakland gradually dissipate into suburbs. The front yard was dotted with a few empty beer cans, evidence of last night’s party. Jason’s heavy sigh came from the front seat as Leo pulled into the large garage and we stepped into the house.

Xander and Carter stood across the island from each other in the kitchen, talking quietly before turning to face us. The main room between where they stood and us was fairly clear, spare for a beer stain on one of the giant bean bags and a notch in the end of the table. They must’ve cleaned while we were gone. I could hear two voices coming in from the cracked back door, probably Tyler and Blondie.

“How’re you feeling?” Carter asked, pointed toward Jason.

“Hungry,” he replied automatically, having rejected the hospital’s food that morning. Jason hadn’t had anything since before the party last night, and having his stomach emptied by a machine had most likely heightened his appetite.

“I can probably make something really quick,” I mumbled, moving forward into the kitchen. I sent a glare in Carter’s direction, letting him know I hadn’t forgotten him trying to keep me from going to see Jason the night before. He didn’t acknowledge me, but I knew he’d seen the look I gave him. I reached into the fridge past Xander and pulled out a carton of eggs, then into the cupboards for a bowl.

Leo went out the back door and Xander and Carter moved to the main area, conversing with Jason while slumping into the bean bags. They were giving him a recap of the night after Xander had rushed him to the hospital, but Carter failed to mention his holding of me in the study. My grip tightened in anger and the egg I was holding cracked, spilling both shell and yolk into the bowl and on my hand. I shook the slime off, cursing under my breath as I reached for a dish rag. The guys hadn’t looked up, were too involved in recounting events to notice.

“Uriah disappeared with the crowd before we could find him,” Carter told Jason as I dumped the crushed mess of egg and started with a new one, throwing the shell into the trash. “We threatened to call the cops if people didn’t leave, so that may have scared him off.”

“Uriah doesn’t get scared,” Jason said automatically. “Even the police don’t have power over him. They’d give anything to lock him up, but they can’t get their hands on him long enough to press any charges. He’s good about covering his tracks, even though everyone knows what kind of shit he does.” There was a long pause. “Dammit. You should’ve kept the party going. No one would’ve thought twice about someone knocked out cold. Not enough people know my face yet to associate a name. Most probably aren’t even smart enough to make a connection, but I’m sure a few noticed the party shut down just after I left. I don’t want to be seen as weak.”

“They won’t make a connection,” Xander tried to reassure him. “And even if word gets around you went to the hospital, you get to tell them you made it through a poison that would’ve killed anyone else. Eventually it’ll come back that you took it in and didn’t even bat an eye.”

I set a pan on the stove and poured the eggs onto the surface. Jason took several long breaths, and I knew he was trying to work things out in his head. I could imagine the creases running along his forehead, his eyes almost closed in concentration.

“I can probably set up another meeting with Uriah, but that means another party,” he said. “He likes public places, likes the cover if there’s a problem and he needs to leave. I’ll have to get through one of his guys, though. Even with the connection I have, he doesn’t do private stuff. I’ll probably put Leo or Lucas on that, but not for another three or four weeks.”

“We just need to be careful right now,” Xander told him. “I don’t think that scotch you drank was random. No one spikes a drink with poison for the hell of it, then leaves it just sitting out somewhere.”

“After you handed it to me, I was about to take a drink,” Carter added.

My curiosity spiked, thinking about what would’ve happened if we’d had two guys ingesting poison. It would’ve been disastrous, though I didn’t know how much it’d take to knock out Carter. He was quite a bit larger than Jason, broader with a more muscle.

“But I smelled something in it,” he continued. “It was too sweet for scotch, and I don’t drink anything if it’s not straight. If I’d have known that’s what took you out, I would’ve gone around asking people who brought it before kicking everyone out.”

“That’s the thing,” Xander said. “It wasn’t here on accident, and I don’t think anyone would fess up to it. Somehow I know it was meant for you to drink it, but there’s no way anyone could place it so carefully.”

There was a long silence. I’d never thought about someone purposely leaving the bottle on the counter because all I’d been worried about was Jason. It both made and didn’t make sense. We were new to the area — Jason had said himself that not many people knew to put a name to his face yet. The only people I could think of that knew him were Uriah and Leah. No one had given me any reason to be suspicious of them last night, but then again I hadn’t really been paying much attention. Who would’ve thought just a week into our stay Jason would already have a target on his back–

I almost dropped the spoon I was using to stir the eggs.

Leah had said the night before that Jason had made himself a target. I wouldn’t believe that she’d tried to kill him, since she’d begged him for forgiveness of whatever had happened in their past; but what if Leah knew someone who was? Her words had seemed angry and thrown out in the moment, but what if she hadn’t been bluffing like I’d thought? It fit in with Xander’s theory, and only made more sense when I continued to think about it.

“I was too comfortable last night,” Jason admitted. “Usually I don’t drink anything I don’t take the lid off of, but I figured with a new city no one wanted me dead yet. It was my mistake to pick up the bottle, but that doesn’t mean it was for me. It could’ve been complete chance, and there’s no reason to blow it out of proportion yet.”

I had a sick feeling in my stomach. With everything that’d happened in the last twelve hours, I couldn’t see how Jason wouldn’t think it was purposeful. So many signs had popped up. I grew uneasy as I started to suspect more people knew of Jason here than we’d thought.

“Don’t brush this off,” Xander said, speaking my thoughts. “I don’t want to believe this is nothing and get bit in the ass later. We still need to be careful, as always. I suggest being more attentive to who we’re letting through the front door. Leo needs to get his head out of his ass, then hopefully we’ll be able to put a finger on any threats.”

I bit the inside of my cheek as I poured the cooked eggs onto a plate and set the pan to the side. Leo didn’t deserve half the shit they gave him, and it made me angry that they would eventually try to pin this on him. Deciding to keep my mouth shut, I would defend him if it ever came down to it. None of this had been his fault, or anyone else’s.

Having forgotten to put anything else in the eggs, I pulled a yogurt from the fridge and grabbed a fork and spoon from a drawer. My feet carried me over to where the three sat and I held out the food to Jason. He took it and nodded a thanks before plunging back into the conversation.

“Just drop it for now,” Jason said as I walked toward the back door. Tyson and Blondie were cleaning out the pool while Leo stood back and watched. “We can figure it out later.”

“We don’t know if we have a later,” Carter pushed, sitting forward on the beanbag. “If someone wanted to kill you, they wouldn’t back down after knowing they could send you to the ER. They’d be relentless.”

“Can you not act like someone always wants my head?” Jason suddenly snapped, and I couldn’t say I blamed him. “It was probably just dumb luck. Someone could’ve put random shit in it as a joke, thinking it was harmless. Obviously it wasn’t, but there’s no point in freaking out over nothing. You took care of the bottle, right?”

“Yeah,” Carter replied.

“Then it’s done with. Let it lie for now.”

“But there’s still the chance–“

“What did I say, Carter? I’m done talking about it.”

Jason pushed up from his sitting position and strode toward the stairs. He disappeared in a few seconds, and I debated following him. Knowing he’d rather brood alone, I slid open the glass door enough to fit through and stepped onto the deck. I was immediately hit with a chill and realized I was still wearing a dress from the night before. Somewhere along the way Jason’s hat had fallen from my head, I realized, since I hadn’t seen it since before Carter shoved me into the study. My hair was slightly disheveled from the events over the last few hours, and I could only imagine how tired I looked.

A large splash from the pool caught my attention before I could go back inside to change. I looked down and Tyson and Leo were both laughing. Tyson held out a pole to Blondie, who’d fallen into the pool trying to get a can of beer. A smile found its way onto my face and I walked toward the patio. Blondie, soaked and furious, was spitting curses while paddling his way to the stairs. Seconds later he pushed out of the water, chattering and shaking water from his clothes. I remembered Jason saying the pool was heated, but knew it had to be cold to go from that to the cold October air. The temperature of changing seasons here was something to get used to, coming from the southern corner of California.

“I expect the rest of that pool clean when I get back out here,” Blondie barked, sloshing past me and into the house.

“Sure thing,” Tyson mumbled, fishing another can from the pool.

Tyson had been staying with us since we got here, and I assumed that meant he was Grant’s replacement. I could tell he was still having trouble fitting in with the guys, but it made sense with the way they’d trusted Grant and how he’d abused it. It would take more than a week to adjust, but Leo and Blondie had made the most effort at that point.

“What’s up Blondie’s ass?” I asked jokingly.

“You just saw; he fell in the pool,” Tyson chuckled. “Why do you call him that, anyway?”

“I don’t know, actually,” I replied. “He bleaches his hair, obviously. I said it once, and it just stuck in my mind.”

“Fair enough,” he replied, dragging the net back through the pool. “How’s Jason doing?”

I bit my lip. We hadn’t talked much at all since the party because I’d spent most of my time avoiding a conversation with him. Jason’s words to Leah hadn’t left my mind yet, and the recent conclusion I’d come to about my feelings for him made me no more comfortable.

“He seems like he’s okay,” I said anyway. “Tired, stressed, annoyed. But at least he’s up and around.”

“That’s good,” Tyson nodded. “I was out on a food run when the whole thing happened. When I got back and no one was here I thought the cops busted everyone, and hearing about Jason didn’t make it much better.”

I gave a wry smile. Goosebumps had begun to raise all over my body and I shivered a little. Deciding I’d be more comfortable after a hot shower and a change of clothes, I stepped back toward the house and into the warmth. Xander and Carter were still conversing quietly, sharp whispers being thrown back and forth as I passed. The were probably still talking about who could’ve set the scotch on the counter.

I climbed the stairs and made my way into Jason’s room. The bathroom door was closed and I heard water running. I pulled the bedroom door shut behind me and kicked off my wedges. My feet ached from wearing them all night and I sighed as I peeled off my dress. With a tie from my duffel I slicked my hair back, then pulled a hoodie from my closet and leggings onto my body. By the time I’d taken a deep, tired breath and shuffled into the bedroom, Jason was walking out of the bathroom with basketball shorts low on his hips and shaking a towel through his hair.

“Hi,” he said quietly as I climbed onto the bed.

“Hi," I replied at the same volume.

A fluttery ache had climbed into my chest and was making its way up my neck. So many mixed emotions were passing through me. His careful stare was holding mine, trying to figure out what I was thinking. I knew because I was trying to do the same.

“What happened with you and Leah?” I asked before I could stop myself.

Jason was obviously surprised and avoided my gaze after I closed my mouth. He walked back into the bathroom without answering. I let my hands fall into my lap, waiting for him to say anything, but was met with only silence.

“Jason?” I said softly. I shouldn’t have asked the question, but now that it was out in the open I wanted to know the answer.

“Does it matter?” his harsh tone echoed into the room. I heard his wet towel hit the floor and he strode out, eyes to the floor and forehead pulled together.

I gave him an incredulous look. “Does it matter? Of course it does. She waltzed in here like she owned the place, the first thing you say to her in the hospital is to ‘get the fuck out’, and she leaves in tears saying she’s changed but you’re screwed. How does that not say to you, ‘this matters’?”

It was easy to tell I’d hit a nerve. Jason’s jaw clenched and I immediately regretted using such a sarcastic tone. The interaction with Leah signaled she’d meant a lot to him at one point. Even though it bothered me, what bothered me even more was Jason thinking it didn’t matter to me.

“Leah is irrelevant,” he spat. “Don’t let her get to you.”

“She’s obviously gotten to you,” I bit back without thinking. His whole body seemed to harden. Why couldn’t I shut up?

“I suggest you back the hell off, Phoebe,” Jason hissed, staring hard at the wall. His hands twitched like he was about to ball them into fists. “You saw; I already took care of it. She’s not going to come back.”

“Not when you threaten to kill her, she’s not!”

My words seemed to ring out against the walls. I blinked, surprised at myself for letting slip what’d been pounding through my head since he’d said the words. I wasn’t one to be so upfront about issues, because I didn’t really let things effect me so much for this long. Afraid of what his reaction might be, I felt myself shrink into the mattress.

“I just want to help,” I nearly whispered, clasping my hands nervously. “You didn’t seem okay talking to her and you don’t seem okay right now. Plus, after she said you made yourself a target the scotch started to make sense–“

“Enough about the fucking scotch!” Jason bellowed.

I blinked, feeling the ache in my chest overpower the pleasant feeling that’d been there before. It wrapped around my throat and my mouth went dry. I should’ve just left him alone; I knew better than to push him by now, but I could never leave anything alone. This was what Leah and Leo had meant by caring about him too much. If I let myself try to help, I’d only end up making him angry.

I felt the other side of the bed sink and jumped, my head snapping up to meet Jason’s eyes. His expression was mainly covered by frustration, but I saw a flicker of remorse underneath as he caught sight of my stunned expression. He reached out for my arm and I flinched, only bringing out more of his regret as he gently pulled me to him. Jason’s arms then wrapped around my shoulders, drawing me tightly to his chest. It took me a long second but I slowly relaxed into his body. We sat like this for a long time, leaning back against the headboard of the bed. I listened to his breathing return back to normal, then slowing down enough that he could’ve been sleeping. His heart beat against my cheek and his fingers fiddled with the ends of my ponytail.

“Nothing is going to happen to me,” he said finally. “I know you want to help, but there’s nothing to help with. Leah was lying through her teeth, and I don’t know how I can get that through your head. Everything has just been random, and the fact that it happened to me was by some sick amount of chance. There isn’t much anyone can do to help that.”

I gnawed on the inside of my cheek, feeling more comfortable now that he was back to how he was before Leah showed up. He was being kind and gentle, like I knew he could be. I was debating whether or not to ask him again about what had happened between him and Leah when he said my name.

I sighed. “Okay. But I still want to know what happened.”

His muscles tightened slightly. “You know what happened. You were there.”

I splayed my hands on his chest and pushed away. “You know what I mean.”

“I’m sure she’s already told you,” Jason looked away, his jaw tightening again. I would’ve stopped asking if it weren’t for the nagging feeling in the back of my mind. Maybe she’d meant more to him than I did, and that’s why he wasn’t talking about it.

“No,” I said lightly. “She didn’t.”

His brow furrowed and he glanced at me sideways. I could tell he was surprised, but I hadn’t been. With the way she’d acted, I knew Leah wanted to keep Jason for herself. It only made sense that she’d keep their past hidden to me too.

There was a long silence, longer even than the last one we’d had, where I sat watching Jason while he stared at the wall across from us. I thought he was going to sit there forever and not say anything when he began drumming his fingers on my leg.

“We had a fling earlier this year,” he said slowly. Even though I already knew, hearing him say it made my stomach sink to my toes. “Just for a month or two. Then I figured out she was stealing my shit — pot, money, you name it. She was using me, so I kicked her out. I haven’t missed her.”

Stealing was what she’d been lying about? Jason had made it seem like so much more with the force he’d put behind his words. Either he wasn’t telling the whole truth, or Leah really had meant more to him than I’d thought. Both options made me feel sick, and I blinked long and hard.

“Phoebe?”

The way he said my name sent the flurry of butterflies back through me, releasing my throat from the suffocating, aching hold. Despite everything that’d happened all at once, for the first time since before the party I felt safe again.

“I knew she was a bitch,” I half laughed, causing Jason to smile through his tense expression. Even this small grin passed between us seemed to ease some of my angst.

“Hence, the reason she means nothing to me,” he said.

He leaned to place a kiss to my temple. I watched his eyes as he pulled away, searching mine before glancing down to my mouth as a silent question. My answer was running my hand up to the back of his neck and pulling him toward me. Our kiss felt long-overdue, like it’d been ages since the last time our lips had met. Jason’s hands wound around my torso to press into the small of my back, coaxing my body toward his. I was overwhelmed by what I’d come to realize felt like fire burning in my stomach, reaching out to my limbs as I grew closer to him.

My back had just touched the mattress, Jason hovering over me with his bare chest flush to mine, when my forehead pulled together and I pushed away.

“How much water have you had since we got back?” I asked.

“A glass,” he answered, ducking to place kisses along my jaw.

I sucked in a breath as his teeth grazed just below my ear. “Liar.”

He chuckled against my skin, causing goosebumps to raise all over my body. “I’ll get it in a few minutes.”

“And what if you keel over and die in those next few minutes?” I pressed, running my hands along his sides. Jason’s skin was smooth under my touch.

“I guess we’ll have to find out.”

 

•• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• ••

 

Running a towel through my wet hair, I walked out into the room to find the sheets empty of Jason. We’d spent the whole day lying in bed, mostly sleeping and talking quietly beside the few times I’d made him go get food or drink water. I’d gone into the bathroom to shower, expecting to come back to a warm bed, but with the lack of Jason I knew the sheets would be cold.

I crawled into them and sighed, leaning against the head board. Today had felt normal. Since we’d gotten to Oakland nothing had felt ordinary, but for the first time since Grant had left I hadn’t thought about anything but Jason being near me. I waited about five minutes, then decided I didn’t want to be away from him anymore.

After pulling on a pair of socks to match my sweater, I tossed the towel in my hamper and padded toward the bedroom door. Most of the guys had either gone to bed early or were out running errands, so the hallway was fairly dark. It wasn’t until I’d reached the stairs that I heard the hint of voices. I crept closer, easing myself to not make too much noise as I stepped down.

The voices, distinctly Jason’s and Xander’s, were hissing back and forth on the main level. It seemed like I’d done this so many times, heard too many conversations I wasn’t meant to hear. Every time before it hadn’t ended well, yet I crouched to hear more.

I realized quickly that I couldn’t decipher a single word without getting closer. Looking down the rest of the steps in front of me, I almost groaned as I counted just two more until I would be in plain sight. There was no point in trying to listen if I would never be able to. I wanted Jason to come back upstairs more than I wanted to hear Xander argue with him about being careful.

I stepped onto the floor and turned toward them. I received an especially cold glare from Xander that almost sent a chill down my spine, and when Jason turned around he looked furious. As soon as Jason noticed my confused look his expression softened. My hands clasped and I tapped my fingers against the backs of them.

“Are you coming?” I asked innocently, trying to ignore the ice I was receiving from Xander.

Jason sighed. “Yeah. I’ll be up in a minute.”

Deciding not to say anything more, I nodded and stepped back up and around the corner of the stairs, out of sight. I should’ve gone straight back up to the room, but a larger part of myself was shouting at me to stay and see what I could hear. It was dumb, seeing as I couldn’t take away anything from their conversation a few seconds before, but I kneeled again anyway.

“Don’t let it get–“

“I won’t,” Jason interrupted Xander harshly. My forehead pulled together, noticing their raise in volume. “Mind your own damn business. I won’t tell you again.”

“It’s my business if you bring everyone down because of–“

“I’m the one carrying this fucking group,” Jason snapped. “Nothing changed just because I wasn’t here for one night.”

“You let your guard down,” Xander shot back. “You’ve been doing that ever since we went after them that first time, and it almost got you killed last night. I don’t think I need to say that distractions are deadly in this business, and if you can’t–“

“Fuck off,” Jason spat. “I won’t stand here and let you tell me what I need to do. If you’re so worried, leave. Obviously you think you can do it better on your own; be my fucking guest. I’m going to bed.”

Heavy footsteps began walking toward the stairs and I stood abruptly, poised to run as Xander got in a last word.

“I’m not going to leave,” Xander said. “I’m trying to help.”

“Don’t,” Jason replied coldly. He was too close to the stairs for me to stay where I was. I bolted up as quietly as I could, but not before hearing his last icy reply to Xander. “Why is everyone trying to help?”

I made it into the bedroom just as Jason took his first step on the stairs, and was balled in the sheets by the time he peeked his head in the door. He wore a frustrated expression and I could tell he was trying to calm down as he gave a small, forced smile. I bit the inside of my cheek and threw back a portion of the duvet to allow him to climb in. My stomach dropped when he brushed right past and into the bathroom without a word, shutting the door behind him.

I wondered what had gotten the two so angry in the first place. Xander had a habit of bringing up touchy subjects, but it was always for the right reason. I hadn’t noticed Jason letting his guard down lately, but I hadn’t known him as long as the other guys had. Xander had made it seem like one raid had been a turning point for Jason, but I couldn’t imagine which one it could’ve been — they’d been on so many in the past month. It shocked me, though, how quickly Jason could go from neutral to angry in the last day or so.

The bathroom door opened five minutes later. Jason came out slowly, running his hands over his face. I looked up expectantly, sitting up and setting my hands in my lap. He paused in front of the bed, let out a heavy sigh before dropping his hands and watching me. I bit my lip, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze that hadn’t quite cooled all the way down yet. Jason still looked guarded, but I did my best to look past it and smile.

He didn’t say anything, just flicked off the bedroom light and kneeled into the mattress, flopping down on his side. I threw the corner of sheets over him and instinctually scooted closer, but stopped short when I sensed something different in the atmosphere he was putting off. It wasn’t exactly hostile, but he wasn’t welcoming either. I felt my brow furrowing and watched his unmoving face for a long time before I rested my head against my own pillow almost two feet away, staring at the ceiling with a sick feeling churning inside me. What had just changed in him from earlier today? I couldn’t believe Xander could push Jason to act this way, but nothing else had happened between us.

Another heavy breath escaped Jason’s lungs before I felt an arm snake around my waist. I squealed lightly as he tugged me to him, my back pressed against his chest. His arm stayed around my middle, fingers playing with the hem of my sweater as I forced myself to relax into his warmth.

It took me a long while to shut up my thoughts before I could finally fall asleep to his slow, steady breathing.


	25. ~11.08~

“Why aren’t you getting ready?” Jason asked as he walked in the bedroom door.

My eyebrows rose. I was sitting on the bed, reading a book I’d found in the corner of my closet. The cover had been too mangled to read and the first few pages were ripped out, so I’d started about halfway through the first chapter. I hadn’t gotten that far into it before Jason came in.

“Ready for what?” I asked as he closed the door and strode toward the bathroom.

“The party,” Jason answered, sending me a confused look.

“What are you talking about?” I closed the book and turned to face him.

“You’re coming with,” he stated before ducking into the bathroom and flipping on the faucet. “I said we’re leaving at ten, and that’s in twenty minutes.”

“Since when am I coming with?” I questioned. “This whole week you’ve been going places without me; why would now be any different?”

“Because I say it is,” Jason said, sticking his head out of the bathroom. “Do you want to go, or not?”

“Of course I do,” I replied incredulously. “I just didn’t know.”

“Well,” he shrugged. “If you don’t want to wear pajamas to a party, you should change.” He went back into the bathroom and closed the door, leaving me sitting with the book in my lap.

For the past two weeks Jason had constantly been out, hardly leaving any time to even look at me. It felt odd not seeing him as often as usual, and it felt lonely. Something had changed in him since Leah had shown up, and it didn’t seem good. Distant was one of many words that came to mind. Other than Jason and Leo, there was no one in the house I really talked to, and since most everyone had been out on runs and doing other things, the house felt giant and I felt empty.

The only time Jason and I really spent together was in the morning, when he accidentally stirred me getting up to leave. I’d sit up and talk to him because I’d miss him during the day, and most of the time would fall asleep at night before he came back. The cycle didn’t feel right, and now that he was taking me to a party I should’ve been happy; instead I felt awkward, like I didn’t know how to talk to him. Thirteen days didn’t seem like much, but when you had nothing to do all day each hour felt like an eternity. Maybe I just wasn’t used to being away from Jason this much, but my reaction was scaring me — it was like I was going through withdrawal, sick from not getting the drug I needed.

I stood and walked to my closet, sighing as I ran over a rack of clothes with my hand. A coral shirt caught my eye and I tugged it down. Without waiting I pulled off my sweatshirt and slid the new one on. It was sleeveless, loose-fitting all the way down where the front ended at my hips and the back ended mid-thigh. I traded my sweatpants for dark leggings, then chose the black wedges I’d worn for the last party. Shaking out my hair, I decided it was okay as it was, natural waves flowing down my back.

Jason was digging in his closet for something as I came out of mine, stepping into the bathroom and reaching for my makeup. I’d mostly run out and would need to get more, but I used what little eyeliner and mascara I had left to go with a casual look in under five minutes. I pushed hair from my face, stepping back into the bedroom to find Jason striding to the door.

“Ready?” he asked. He wore black jeans and a gray jacket, his hair three weeks past needing a trim pushed up in the front.

I nodded, following after him out and downstairs. Xander, Blondie, Tyson, and Carter were all talking in the kitchen. When Xander caught sight of Jason and I, a glare glanced his features before he composed himself and told everyone else it was time to leave. I followed Jason into the garage, pretending I hadn’t seen Xander’s look, and gave a small thanks to Jason as he opened the passenger door for me. He jogged around to the driver’s side as the large doors rumbled open and everyone slid into their vehicles.

“Where’s Leo?” I asked, buckling my seatbelt as Jason backed out and drove down the driveway. I’d noticed his car wasn’t in the garage. Two vehicles followed behind us, one holding Blondie and Tyson, the other with Carter and Xander.

“He went ahead,” Jason answered shortly. “I wanted him to see who was there; scout out the place before we all throw ourselves into it.”

“He pulls a lot of weight around here,” I said absentmindedly.

I’d noticed Leo had been doing a considerably larger amount of grunt work than Tyson, who was the real newby. I understood the whole “trust” thing with him, but things like running out for more food, scouting a party, or even filling up someone’s car with fuel wasn’t something that needed a great amount of faith. A feeling I had told me this was their punishment for him for supposedly letting shady people slip through the doors at parties. It was hardly justifiable, and it frustrated me.

Jason shrugged at my comment, keeping his eyes on the road. “Someone has to do it.”

“Tyson?” I suggested innocently enough, crossing my legs and resting my elbow on the armrest.

“It doesn’t matter who does it,” he answered dismissively.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. His impassive tone annoyed me, but I didn’t say anything more. At least when we weren’t talking Jason couldn’t brush me off.

Jason’s quick change had confused me, was still confusing me at that point. As far as I knew, I hadn’t done anything to make him angry or push him away. Nothing had felt right between us since the night he went to the hospital, and I found myself thinking — knowing — I would give anything to get back to what we had before.

I didn’t say anything the rest of the drive, silently hoping Jason would start a conversation. Needless to say I was disappointed when he didn’t. We spent thirty minutes with nothing but the sound of tires on pavement filling the truck’s cab, pulling in front of a house several miles outside Oakland just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore.

The property was three times the span needed for the house, which was even bigger than the one we were living in. People were streaming in and out the front double-doors, drinks in hand and some already stumbling drunk. Windows covered almost the entire first floor of the modern-looking structure, showing multicolored lights rotating around inside. The two levels above the first were marked in the middle with two balconies stacked on top of each other, giving the illusion of a small hotel. It was certainly big enough and looked extremely well-kept from the outside. I could only imagine what it looked like on the inside.

Jason took his keys out of the ignition and swung out of the truck. I moved to do the same, tugging on the passenger’s side handle. My forehead pulled together in confusion when nothing caught within the door and it remained shut. Checking that it wasn’t locked, I tried again. I received the same result and sat staring at it until Jason appeared in front of me. He pulled the door open and offered me his hand. I took it and dropped my feet to the lawn, giving him a confused look that he either didn’t see or ignored. Had Jason child-locked my door?

I didn’t get the chance to look before he slammed it and pressed the lock button on his key. I walked beside him through the grass and up to the door, blinking hard when he dropped my hand but relaxing a bit when I felt his arm ghost around my waist. Xander and Carter were ahead of us on the way in, and we ducked inside to be hit with loud music and the stench of marijuana. My nose wrinkled and I leaned closer to Jason, hoping to smell more of his cologne than the skunk-like scent.

Leo appeared from my right, surprising me. He gave me a small nod before turning to Jason. I scanned the main area as they talked over the music, marveling at the high ceilings and expensive furniture. A cuboid chandelier hung over our heads and modern paintings lined the cream walls. Beyond the expanse we stood in was an archway that supported a bridge-type walkway, and beyond that a wall of windows that looked out on a pond in the backyard. Several people stood over the archway, pouring bottles of vodka to their open-mouthed friends below.

“Uriah isn’t here, but that isn’t shocking,” Leo spoke loudly enough for me to hear. “He’d steer clear of these places because no one here is even close to being worth his time. The most intimidating guy in this house is on the third floor, last bedroom to the left. He has quite a bit of power in the area and has two guys standing outside the door.”

“Name?” Jason asked.

“Isaiah Nixon,” Leo answered.

“Anyone else worth talking to?”

“There’s a guy named Harrison French on the second floor. I’ve heard he has connections with a lot of suppliers in and around Oakland. He’s probably someone significant enough to at least have on your radar, especially when negotiating with other dealers.”

Jason nodded. “If you find anyone else worthwhile, find me right away. I’ll either be talking to Isaiah or Harrison.”

Leo disappeared back into the crowd. People were dancing even more sloppily than at Jason’s parties, most likely because Jason had a standing bring-your-own-beer rule. He wasn’t a fan of binge or habitual drinking, so there was scarcely a bottle of scotch, vodka, or beer in the house at any given time. No one wanted to buy enough cases to knock themselves out cold, so his parties were usually, but not always, tame in comparison to others.

“Come on,” Jason said, his palm pressed against the small of my back to guide me.

I walked alongside him through the archway and over to a staircase I hadn’t seen from the opposite side. It lead up to the bridge-walkway, connecting to another one with rooms on either wall. Jason didn’t hesitate in pushing past people, making his way to the door a young looking guy stood in front of. He looked only a little older than me, crossing his arms and puffing out his chest.

“We’re here to see Harrison,” Jason told him flatly.

“Who’s ‘we’?”

“It only matters to relevant people.”

The guy looked him up and down, evaluating Jason’s intimidating posture. After two seconds his eyes flashed to me, then his hand found the door knob and he leaned inside. The music was too loud to hear what he said, but soon he stepped aside to let Jason and I through. Jason took the lead, letting his fingers drift to my elbow to still touch me as we entered.

The room was lit by a single fixture at the center of the ceiling, illuminating a large portion of the space. Directly under the light was a table meant for six, surrounded by four people. They were engaged in a game of poker, glancing nervously at the man sitting at the head. I took him to be the dealer, seeing that he wasn’t playing as the round progressed. Jason took me slowly over to their side, both of us watching carefully.

“Well,” the dealer said suddenly, looking up at us and smirking through his goatee. A dark beanie covered his shaggy hair, giving the illusion he was two years younger than he probably was. “McCann, is it? Lastings?”

How did he know who we were? If this was Harrison, I didn’t think Jason had ever met him before; I knew I certainly hadn’t. Maybe he knew my brother, but I highly doubted it considering Harrison was based up here. I tried not to show my surprise, leaning toward Jason. I was taken even more off-guard when Jason seemed to move away, leaving me to stand by myself. Shooting him a fleeting glance, I noticed he hadn’t taken his eyes from the man.

“I’m Harrison,” the man continued. “Although, if you did your research like I did, you’d already know that. Figured if Crowe showed up to the new kid’s first party, he was worth my attention.”

Jason remained calm through Harrison’s attempt at intimidation. “You’d be right.”

Harrison gave another smirk. “Buy-in is three grand.”

“I’m not here to play,” Jason replied automatically.

“Then you’re not here to talk.” Harrison’s eyebrows rose as a challenge. “And I was more talking to the two of you.”

Jason’s eyes narrowed the slightest bit. “I’ll play; she won’t.”

“She has a mouth of her own.”

“She’s not going to use it.”

“She has a name,” I shot at both of them.

Usually I wouldn’t have minded Jason speaking for me, especially in this situation, but the way he was going about it was incredibly annoying. Add in that he had barely spoken to me in two weeks even with the small fact I lived with him, and he hardly had the right to tell me, or anyone, that I wasn’t going to speak.

Harrison nodded, a satisfied look on his face. “Alright, then. Tell you what, McCann. You both play for free if Phoebe wants in.”

I snuck a look at Jason and tried not to tense at his hard stare. His eyes were beading straight back into mine, telling me I needed to shut up. If he had been anyone else, I would’ve ignored him completely and gone ahead and played; but this was Jason. I was treading on thin ice in his territory, being disrespectful to him in front of a man he needed to do business with. Everyone else in Jason’s house had to live in Oakland too, and I assumed no one wanted to be thought of as weak and taken advantage of on a daily basis. It didn’t matter whether or not I talked back to Jason behind closed doors, but now with spiked scotch already ticked off on his list of weaknesses he didn’t have room to be dissed by his girlfriend.

His girlfriend. I still hadn’t asked him about what, exactly, we were, nor had I had the courage. When I’d gone to visit him in the hospital, the title had felt like it fit. But with two weeks of almost no words shared between us, even the idea felt a little pushed.

I bit my lip. “Not much of a poker fan.” Jason turned his head slightly toward me, a question poised in his expression that I didn’t think anyone else would’ve been able to pick out.

“Come on,” Harrison pressed. The men all around the table were glancing nervously back and forth between their cards, Harrison, and Jason and I. “Have a little fun. It’s just a bit of money.”

Shaking my head, I shifted my weight away from Jason and onto my right hip. “No. Jason’s a better player than I am, anyway.”

“Have it your way,” Harrison replied. “Make room for McCann.”

Two guys on the end of the table separated and another grabbed a folding chair leaning against the wall. Jason stepped forward and took it, shaking it out and sitting between the two who’d moved. A roll of cash was dug out of his pocket and tossed on the table.

“Five grand,” Jason grunted. “I’m feeling generous.”

I moved to stand behind Jason, my left hand on the back of his chair. He rubbed his palms together before receiving cards from Harrison, then proceeded to play. They went on for a few rounds until two of the four playing folded. Jason was left with one other guy, staring each other down from either side of the table while Harrison watched in amusement. Playing conservatively, it was another good five minutes before Harrison laid down the last card.

The guy opposite Jason smirked and laid down his hand. “A straight.”

Jason held a steady gaze, then put down his cards. “Flush.”

The man swore loudly, pushing back from the table as he saw the five cards marked with clubs lying on the table. Jason let the hint of a smile slip as Harrison clapped his hands together.

“I love running around with a smart kid,” he pointed his words toward Jason. “Played your bets right for the hand you had.” Harrison nodded at the three men in the room with us. “Why don’t you boys go wait outside.”

They left rather reluctantly as Harrison pushed three rolls of money toward Jason. Jason took them and stuffed the cash in his pocket, his eyes on the man across from him at all times. They watched each other for a long moment before Harrison glanced up at me.

“Got yourself a good one, McCann,” he said. “She’s patient, and knows how this game works.”

“Poker is simple,” Jason replied right away. My jaw clenched, but I didn’t say anything.

“That’s not the game I’m talking about,” Harrison answered, noticing my change in posture. “Lastings has more insight than I think you give her credit for. She’s watching out for you, and you sure as hell better count yourself lucky after that little trip you took down to the ER. Any other girl would’ve been out the door faster than you could’ve said anything, and it’s a good thing she stayed because she can read people well. I’m not surprised you brought her tonight, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you brought her to everything you go to.”

I couldn’t see Jason’s face, but I was fighting a small smile. It was flattering to hear someone — even Harrison — say something like that about me, especially to Jason. Chewing the inside of my cheek, I stopped myself saying anything about not really having a choice about staying, because I knew I would’ve anyway. On top of that, I was no negotiator, but at least I knew what to say and when — but most often, when not — to say something.

“Let’s go, Phoebe,” Jason suddenly said, standing from his chair abruptly. I backed away, giving him room to get out from where he was. He reached out and took my elbow, much harder than he had before and began tugging me to the door.

“I’m open for business anytime,” Harrison called after us. “Let me know when you’re ready to recognize potential. Then we’ll talk.”

Jason pushed out into the hallway, catching the first kid we’d seen off-guard. I tried not to let my thoughts fly as I fell into step beside Jason, his hand drifting to press against my back. The music seemed to have increased in volume, leaving no room to try to ask him a question. I simply walked with him back over the archway and up another flight of stairs, the rest of the party disappearing from sight as a hallway enveloped us.

Just like Leo had said, two guys were standing outside the last door on the left. It probably wasn’t a good idea for Jason to go in this fired up, especially with the chance he had of losing his temper so quickly in a new area, but we approached nonetheless. As we neared, the two guys shared a look before one went in, coming back out within five seconds and holding the door open for Jason and I. I thought for a moment this Isaiah person might know us as well, but didn’t have a chance to ask before I was pulled in.

This room was much like the first we’d seen, with the exception of the table. Instead, a simple two-man table was where a dark olive-skinned man sat, assessing us as Jason and I walked in. His arms were crossed as he waited, only saying something when Jason came to stand directly behind the empty chair with me beside him.

“Sit,” he said. “And welcome. I hope you’re enjoying my party.”

Jason paused only a second before lowering himself into the seat across from who I assumed was Isaiah. “Nice property out here.”

“Nice and spacious,” Isaiah nodded. “Plenty of room for business; which I assume is what you’re here to talk about.”

“I need an ally,” Jason responded, not leaving any time for questions. “It’s as simple as that.”

“What do you need me for? You already had Crowe in your door for a reason other than to kill you. From what I hear, you two go way back.”

“As strong as he is, Uriah is still only one person,” Jason pointed out. “It would be nice to have people everywhere, especially out here where business is smooth sailing. We could help each other out.”

“And how do you figure that? Last I heard, the new guy was on his way to the hospital for being dumb and drinking something he wasn’t supposed to. You could be a liability.”

Jason’s jaw clenched. “I’m not. Ask Uriah, if you really want proof. If I thought I would bring anyone down I wouldn’t have stepped through that door. I like being a burden about as much as I like being held back.”

Isaiah drummed his fingers on the table. “How many guys do you have?”

“Five,” Jason answered. His hands found the pockets of his jacket and shoved inside.

“Does that include her?”

“No. She has nothing to do with any of this.”

I wasn’t sure whether to feel flattered or annoyed that Jason wanted to keep me out of his life outside the house. It was a dangerous way of living for anyone, and I could understand not wanting to bring someone into it — but that took an amount of protectiveness to keep a person away from the kind of violence Jason dealt with. Was Jason protective of me? The thought sent a flutter through my stomach despite how much being babied could frustrate me.

“That’s fair,” Isaiah said with a nod. “But five doesn’t seem like a lot.”

“It’s enough,” Jason assured him. “We function fine, and near Poway we controlled a large part of the area. If you still think it’s too few, I am here to make ties. My five plus however many you have, and we’ll do more than just survive.”

“I would hope so. I survive fine by myself, let alone with another group to keep me company. More allies, more bodies to worry about than just mine.” Isaiah gave Jason a calculating look.

“We cooperate, not depend on others,” Jason said flatly, though I detected an underlying tone of defensiveness. He was worried about being seen as weak, and it was beginning to wear on him.

“That’s good to hear.” Isaiah leaned forward in his chair and stretched out his arm. “If Crowe wants you, I’d be a dumbass not to at least give you a shot.”

The corners of Jason’s mouth played at a sly grin. He took Isaiah’s hand and shook once before letting go and standing up. “I’ll send a guy your way in a few days.”

“Don’t bother,” Isaiah said sternly. “We’ll meet in the middle.”

He the listed off a location I’d never hope to remember. I assumed only someone who knew the area would know the place. They agreed to each send a guy Wednesday night, then brought their conversation to a close. I noticed Isaiah looking at me closer as I turned away, being lead by Jason’s palm on my back. Chewing the inside of my cheek, even with my back turned his stare made me uncomfortable. Jason and I were almost to the door when he spoke.

“You’re the Lastings girl?”

I stopped and turned. “Yeah.”

How did everyone seem to know who I was? Maybe these people knew my brother or Markus, or even Tyler, who as far as I knew had never been to Oakland. What if Jason wasn’t as little-known as he’d made himself out to be? I’d been happy to move somewhere that wouldn’t bring up the fact I’d more or less turned on my brother and boyfriend without them knowing, but I’d been reminded of them a lot at that point.

“It’s a shame, what happened,” Isaiah said, giving me a mostly neutral look. “One of my guys told me.”

My forehead pulled together in confusion while Jason began to pull me through the door. What was he talking about? Was it when Jason and his group had intruded into our house and took me captive? It seemed odd that he would bring it up, seeing as I was with Jason and not resisting. He could’ve been talking about Emmett being shot, but he had to have healed by now. Plus, with Jason in the room, would he even say anything like that so soon after shaking hands? It wasn’t hard to tell Jason had a short temper.

Before I could think anything more, Jason lead me out of the door and we were soon walking down the hall again. He seemed more calm than when we’d left Harrison’s room, but I knew underneath he tended to brood. It was better not to push him with questions, but eventually I wanted to talk to him — not just about the events of tonight, but everything in the past two weeks since the hospital. I wanted to know what was going through his head, and what he thought of this thing we were doing that seemed more like going in circles than being part of a relationship.

Two flights of stairs seemed to go by in a couple seconds, and in another few moments Jason and I came to a stop in front of Leo. He had a drink in his hand but hadn’t consumed any of it. I glanced around the main area and spotted Blondie in the far corner, talking and laughing with a group of girls. Carter was beside him looking a little unhappy; he was still torn up about his girlfriend, and I couldn’t imagine a time when the topic wouldn’t be sensitive.

“Anyone else?” Jason called over the music.

“No,” Leo shook his head. “All that’s left are plastered idiots. How did talking to Harrison go? I didn’t get much of a word on him.”

I saw Jason’s jaw tighten and sighed inaudibly. It was hardly fair that even the mention of a name could set him off, and I didn’t doubt he would be stirring in thought for at least the next twenty minutes. Leo wasn’t the one I should’ve blamed; really it was myself that had been at fault, saying anything at all in front of Harrison. If there was anything guys didn’t like, it was being told to realize their girl is better than them.

“We’re leaving now,” Jason told Leo. “I don’t want any of you back at the house until at least midnight. This is Isaiah’s party, and I want eyes and ears everywhere we can get them. I just talked to him, and at this point he’s more of a friend than an enemy.”

Leo nodded. “Got it.” He then stepped around us and headed into the crowd.

Jason didn’t say anything before dropping his hand to my elbow again, then proceeded to lead me out. I didn’t like being dragged around, but I knew better than to say anything while he was angry; especially around other people. The image this gave off was similar to that of a dog on a leash, which bothered me, but I could suffer through it knowing that most people in the house wouldn’t even remember where they’d been when they woke up.

A minute after talking to Leo, Jason and I swung into his truck and pulled off from the curb. I looked out the window for most of the drive, experiencing the same uncomfortable silence as on the way. My hands wrung together as he pulled into our neighborhood, and soon the driveway of where we lived. Again, I had to wait for Jason to pull open my door to get out. I tried to shoot him a look to get his attention, but he hardly seemed in the mood for talking. My fingers curled into fists and I followed him in the house.

The first place Jason turned when walking in was toward the stairs, and I followed. He seemed hurried, almost as if he was trying to get away from me. My bottom lip was taken between my teeth as we stepped into his bedroom. I kicked off my heels and shoved them into my closet while he shed his jacket and strode out of sight. Comfortable in what I had on, I sat down on the bed and waited for him to reappear. He came out in black sweatpants and a gray t-shirt, hands shoved in his pockets. I waited a few seconds before opening my mouth.

“Jason,” I said quietly. When he didn’t turn, I said his name again in case he hadn’t heard. I knew after his name left my mouth for the third time that he was ignoring me. “Dammit, Jason! Can we just talk?”

“About what?” he shot back, turning toward me. His whole body seemed tense as we held stares. Jason had been pacing at the end of the bed while I leaned against the headboard, trying to get his attention.

“I don’t know,” I said incredulously. “Anything? We haven’t talked in two weeks.”

“We’re talking right now.”

“This isn’t talking.”

“What is talking then?” he pressed, not really searching for an answer.

“A conversation,” my forehead pulled together. “One where you’re not acting like I’m burdening you just by being in your presence.”

“You’re going to have to come back later, if that’s what you want,” Jason bit back.

My jaw went slack. “What the hell? Is there something I did, because I can’t remember. All I know is that bitch Leah waltzes in and our whole world flips upside down! Where have you been all day? Why can’t you just sit and talk to me for ten minutes without being interrupted?”

“It doesn’t matter where I’ve been,” Jason said, avoiding all of my other questions. “Leah has nothing to do with this.”

“What even is ‘this’?” I shot. “Please, tell me, because I have yet to figure it out.”

“Why can’t you just keep to yourself for once!” Jason suddenly barked. “You’re not making this any easier for me!”

“What am I not making easier? I can’t do anything about it if you don’t tell me what I’m doing wrong, Jason.” I stood up from the bed, meaning to go stand in front of him, but he turned and walked toward the doors to the balcony. “What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t want you to do anything,” he turned, sending me a look that made my chest pang with hurt.

“That makes no sense! I sure as hell don’t want to live — sleep in the same bed — with someone who doesn’t even spare two minutes to talk to me. Do you just not feel like I’m good enough anymore?”

“No,” Jason brushed me off, turning away. “That’s not it.”

“Are you sure?” I laughed bitterly. “Because everything that’s happened tonight has told me otherwise. You see me as weak, don’t you? First you won’t let me play poker, next you’re saying I’m simple-minded to Harrison, and then you say I have nothing to do with your group!”

“I don’t see you as weak.”

“So then is this about trust? I think we covered the whole ‘trust’ thing when I didn’t bolt when I had the chance.”

Jason seemed to hesitate. “It’s not that.”

“Really? You put a fucking child lock on my door. Really mature of you, I’d say.” He looked away and I let out another hoarse chuckle. “That’s what it is, isn’t it? I don’t know how the hell you figure I don’t deserve your trust. I had the power in my hands to kill every single one of you, but I chose to stay! God, what an idiot I was, thinking I’d be better off here than somewhere no one texted me back.”

Jason spun. “What did you just say?”

I closed my eyes briefly, taking a deep breath as I realized I’d just let him know I’d found his old hiding spot in Poway. “The important thing is that I didn’t kill you when I had the chance. If that doesn’t scream trustworthy, after everything you’ve done to me and the people I love, then I don’t know how I’ll ever get through to you.”

“I do trust you!” Jason shouted, taking a step toward me. “Why do you think I’ve been taking you places now? Why do you think I leave you alone here? If I didn’t trust you, I never would’ve brought you in to talk to Harrison or Isaiah.”

I was caught between my heart swelling and someone throwing a dagger into my side. Jason was hiding the reason he’d been so distant, and I wanted to know why. It couldn’t have been so bad that he couldn’t tell me. I hadn’t done anything… had I? My temper started to rise, angry at myself for both causing a problem and being so effected by Jason. Why was I letting him control my emotions like this?

“Then what?” I yelled. “Just talk to me!”

“Why do you care?”

My mouth dropped open. “Did you seriously just ask that? I have to live with you Jason, apparently whether I like it or not! I’d at least like to enjoy what little I can from this actually miserable situation you brought me into over two months ago. Two months; that’s how long I’ve been in your house, been sleeping in your bed; and you can’t tell me why you’re not speaking to me?”

“What is this really about?” Jason narrowed his eyes, trying to assess me.

“You tell me! I can’t even start a conversation with you anymore because I don’t know how. What changed in two weeks? We went from wanting to be as close as physically possible to hardly even looking at each other overnight.” My blood was beginning to boil with a newly found anger I didn’t know I had. “Do I even want to know what I did?”

“You didn’t do anything,” Jason said evenly, moving to turn away. I saw his chest fill with air. “Dammit, Phoebe why do you even care? You’re so fucking suffocating!”

My chest constricted. The last thing I ever wanted to be for anyone was overbearing and annoying. “Than tell me how to fix it!”

Jason threw his hands in the air. “Jesus, why are you always trying to fucking help?”

“Maybe it’s because I fucking love you!”

The room went deafeningly silent.

What had I just said? Had it been the words I’d been dreading since that night in the hospital? Had it been what I was trying to deny, but could never come up with a good reason as to why? Had it been what I hadn’t even admitted to myself?

The answer was yes. I’d just told Jason McCann, my enemy by nature, that I loved him.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, horrified at what had just come from my mouth.

Suddenly I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Hands shaking, I backed away, moving toward the door. Jason hadn’t said anything, hadn’t moved from his spot until my hand was on the doorknob. When he turned I sucked in a sharp breath, throwing myself into the hall before he could move toward me. Everything around me was getting tighter and I was panting. I had to get out of the small hallway, but couldn’t think of anywhere to go. I wouldn’t make it far if I tried to leave the house, and the last thing I wanted was to be caught in someone else’s room. My head turned to the side and landed on a door to my right, resting against the far wall. Before I could think twice I scrambled for it, wanting distance between everything and everyone right then.

It was the room Jason had offered me our first day here; the room I should’ve taken when it came up. If I had, maybe none of this ever would’ve happened. I wouldn’t have continued sleeping with Jason, wouldn’t have stayed up just to watch him doze off, wouldn’t have had the guilty pleasure of waking up beside him every morning. All of those things had brought me dangerously closer to him. I’d admitted it to myself the same time Jason had heard it — I loved him.

It must’ve been some cruel joke, falling for my enemy and captor despite my amazing boyfriend back home. I leaned against the door after slamming it shut, sinking to the floor in a ball. I tried to think of Tyler, feel something by just picturing him, but the sensation never came. I’d convinced myself Tyler was too familiar to love, that Jason was new and exciting, but I’d failed to look ahead. Predicting this would’ve been impossible; letting the confession slip so easily in the heat of the moment, fighting with him for not speaking like a couple should. Hell, I didn’t even know if that’s what we were. For all I knew, the reason he’d been gone for the last two weeks was because he was screwing another girl.

The thought hurt me more than it should’ve. Jason never specified anything, but I guessed I’d just assumed… It was rash of me, and never should’ve happened in the first place. This had started when I’d tried to gamble my way out. I should’ve just stayed in the basement, only coming up when I needed something. For all I knew, Jason might’ve gotten bored with me and just let me go. I was an idiot, and my feelings for him couldn’t be undone.

What hurt me the most wasn’t having to admit to myself I was in love with Jason and an idiot for it; what hurt was that he hadn’t said anything, hadn’t even moved until I’d fumbled with the doorknob in an attempt to get away from him, from the situation I’d caused. Did that mean anything? It could’ve meant a thousand things; that he didn’t love me in return, that he was shocked, that he wanted me away from him. With everything that’d happened, I honestly didn’t know whether he still wanted me at the house. I was trouble enough, and that had shown tonight. But where would I go? Home, to where no one had tried to get me back from Jason? It would be embarrassing, trying to put on a smile when I knew I wasn’t valuable enough to get back. Here, without Jason, I knew no one and had no money. I’d be hung totally out to dry.

I began to breathe harder, wrapping my arms around myself as I brought my knees to my chest. Why did I let him have this power over me? The only place I was bound to end up was here, heart aching and trying not to hyperventilate when I realized he didn’t share the same feelings. The space between us felt endless. Maybe I would rather go back to Poway, live there where my brother had to love me instead of here where the humiliation of my confession would hang over my head; but the thought of leaving him sent an even more painful stab through me.

I don’t know how long I sat there in the dark, having forgotten to flip the light on before falling into a pit of my own thoughts. My legs had fallen asleep from being pulled so tightly to my body and my head ached from thinking too much. I needed to change, bring a pillow in to sleep with in what I was going to call my room from then on. I couldn’t sleep in the same room with Jason, not after what I’d just said to him, not after knowing he didn’t want me anymore. To help myself sleep better, I stood and mustered up the courage to open the door.

The hallway was dark and empty and I couldn’t hear any noise coming from anywhere in the house. No light filtered from underneath Jason’s door, and I assumed he’d left to go somewhere I wasn’t. Telling myself this made me feel better, made me think I wouldn’t have to face the mortification of going back into his room after running out. I padded to the door softly, turning the knob before I could change my mind.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw Jason sprawled out on the bed, lying in the dark and staring blankly at the ceiling. Biting my lip, I averted my eyes and tried not to let my face show the stabbing pain in my torso. Striding into my closet, I ducked in and quickly pulled out sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Not wanting to be in here any longer than necessary, I tucked them under my arm with the intent of changing in my room. I shut off the closet light and stepped out.

I let out a yelp and dropped my clothes as Jason suddenly appeared in front of me, gripping my shoulders and shoving me up against the wall. My mouth fell open and I stared into his dark eyes, heart pounding too hard in my chest. Another cry escaped my throat as his unreadable expression disappeared from my sight, his lips pressing roughly against my neck as his fingers pressed into my sides.

“I’ve been out,” he mumbled against my skin.

“What?” I gasped, stunned.

“I’ve been out all day trying to avoid you,” Jason continued. “I was letting my guard down repeatedly, and I let Xander convince me it was because of you. I thought if I could get away — put some distance between us — I could get my head on straight again.”

“What are you–“

I was interrupted by his mouth, pressed flush to mine. When Jason pulled away a strangled noise escaped my throat. I was desperate for his touch after missing it for so long.

“Shut up and listen to me,” Jason instructed, holding my waist tighter and teasing my shirt up.

“When Harrison was talking about you like that,” he continued, “I wasn’t angry because I didn’t already know. I was angry because I did know, and I was trying to tell myself it wasn’t true. But the truth is that I have an amazing girl.”

I sucked in a sharp breath as his teeth grazed my collar bone before he pulled my shirt over my head. Goosebumps were raised all over my bare skin, back pressed to the cold wall as Jason pushed himself closer.

“I put the lock on your door because I want you to need me. It’s stupid, but I know without me you’d be just fine. I wanted to feel like I could do something, even though you’re perfectly capable. I need you to need me.”

His hands slipped under my thighs and pulled my legs to wrap around his waist. Our chests were pressed against each other and my mouth formed an “O” as he sucked hard against my neck.

“I didn’t want you to play poker because I didn’t want to bring you into any kind of game Harrison might’ve played,” Jason mumbled against my skin. “The last thing I want is for you to get hurt. And why can’t you help in making this easier for me? Because making this any easier would mean you leaving; and I couldn’t stand that.”

“Jason–“

“Let me finish,” he interrupted. He reached down for my hand and guided it to the back of his neck. I tugged on the hair at his nape as he tipped his lips up to kiss me. “Most of all, I’ve been angry with myself and taking it out on you. I’m angry that I forced you to leave your home; I’m angry that I didn’t stop there, and forced you to stay in my room; I’m angry that I let it get this far, that I don’t want to go back. I wanted you initially because I was selfish and couldn’t resist a beautiful girl; and I still want you, but for more than just that. I want you because you can make me smile without trying; because you ask about my life while no one else cares; because even when I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Jason kissed me again, softer this time. I let myself linger on his mouth, trying to savor his taste while I could. My head was spinning and I didn’t know what was happening, other than that his words sent wave after wave of butterflies through my stomach and caused my heart to swell.

“Now that I finally know what the hell is going on, I think I can finally focus again,” Jason said. “I was afraid to say anything, to even think about it; but Phoebe… I think I love you too.”

After what felt like forever, Jason’s lips ground into mine and everything seemed to fall into place.


	26. ~11.18~

“This is amazing,” Jason moaned, biting into the meal I’d made for him. He was sitting at the island as I pushed stir fry around in a pan on the stove. “Name anything and it’s yours. Seriously, I’ll give you anything you want for this food.”

I smirked and turned to face him, leaning against the counter. “A little birthday sex would be nice.”

His forehead pulled together. “It’s your birthday?”

I shrugged and turned back to the stove. “It’s not a big deal.”

“A birthday is a pretty big deal in the world we live in,” Jason pressed. “It means you’ve survived another year without dying at the hands of an asshole.”

I laughed lightly. I heard him slide from the stool and come to stand behind me. His arms snaked around my waist and squeezed my sides. He rested his head on my shoulder, peering down at what I was making.

“Plus, I get to give you stuff.”

I rolled my eyes and turned in his arms. The spoon in my hand steamed as I pointed it at Jason’s nose. “You’re not going to get me something because I don’t need anything.”

“Don’t pull that on me,” he said before pushing the spoon away and kissing my forehead. “We’ll go do something tonight.”

“A day in bed would be nice,” I sighed, twisting my torso and reaching out to turn the front burner off.

“I have to at least buy you dinner first.”

I failed at hiding a smile. “Fine. But nothing too extravagant — I mean it Jason.”

Jason held up his hands. “Okay, okay. We’ll leave around four, then?”

I wrinkled my nose. “That’s a little early for dinner.”

“If you say so,” he sighed jokingly as he began walking away. “That just delays the amount of time we can spend in our room.”

Butterflies fluttered through my stomach at his words. He’d started calling everything “ours”, and it made me smile every time he said it.

“Four it is?” I prodded.

Jason cast me a sly look as he came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs. “Four.”

 

•• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• ••

 

In all honesty I was looking forward to going out with Jason. We hadn’t been out since the party, but that didn’t necessarily count. I usually didn’t like making a fuss about special days, because it’s just that — a day. But somehow, knowing I was going to spend it with him made it feel more than that.

I brushed a last coat of mascara onto my eyelashes and stepped back to inspect myself in the bathroom mirror. Liner was around my eyes sparingly, my hair framing my face in soft waves. I bit my lip to try to flush color into it, since I didn’t have lipstick, and was satisfied with the natural coloring. A gray sweater covered my torso, hanging down to the tops of my thighs, and dark jeans lead into my combat boots.

“You look great,” Jason’s low voice came from behind me, causing me to jump. He appeared behind me in the mirror and I watched as his arms snaked around my waist before he placed a kiss to my jaw.

I hummed in response, turning to rest my forehead against his chest. He smelled like a forest and cologne at the same time, and it was a wonderful combination. A kiss was placed to the top of my head and I smiled even though Jason couldn’t see.

“Love you,” I said, almost a whisper.

“Love you too,” he answered just as softly. The words sent a flurry through me, more intense than just butterflies. It felt incredible to be able to say it now without feeling like I’d have to kill myself. We’d never exchanged the phrase in front of anyone, but it felt all the more personal that only he and I knew.

“I suggest we leave now,” I told him, my grin deepening. “Before I decide I don’t want to leave the bedroom.”

“As great as that sounds,” Jason chuckled lowly. “I think we should go too.”

Twenty minutes later we were driving downtown in Jason’s truck. He seemed to know where we were going, but I hadn’t seen much of the area and didn’t have a clue. I knew for sure it wasn’t the last place we’d been, but I was excited to see what other memories this city held for Jason. It was oddly comforting to know he had a past before Poway.

Jason turned into a parking lot between buildings and stopped the truck in one of the furthest spots from where I assumed we’d be eating. He turned off the vehicle and swung out. I moved to do the same but remembered why he’d put the lock on the door in the first place. I bit the inside of my cheek and waited for Jason to open it for me, grin deepening as I stepped down beside him. He reached behind me to close the door and lock it, then looped his arm around my waist and began leading us to one of the buildings.

I’d never heard of the place before, and by the placement within the city and the fairly small building, I assumed it was a family-owned restaurant. When we stepped in the dim lights casted a home-y feeling over the few people sat at tables scattered around the expanse. Jason lead us over to a table in the far corner, giving us a good amount of privacy from anyone else. As we sat down I looked around the place again, noticing the compact bar across from us and friendly waitresses moving from table to table. I felt strangely relaxed, given that my average stress level was probably higher than normal.

“What are you thinking?” Jason asked. I turned my head back to him, noticing his somewhat nervous expression. “Do you like it? You said nothing crazy.”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. “Yeah. It’s perfect.”

He seemed to let out a breath and returned my grin. “Good.”

I gave another glance around the room, then addressed him. “What kind of food place is this?”

Jason shrugged. “It’s a cafe, so there’s a variety. I haven’t been here in a long time, so I have no idea if it’s still any good or not.”

“What can I get you two to drink?” a kind voice asked. We both turned our heads to find a short woman with a pleasant smile on her face holding a pad and paper.

I ordered a soda while Jason asked for water, and the woman soon disappeared into the kitchen. Lacing my fingers together, I rested my chin on my knuckles. Jason stared back, watching me with curiosity. I thought it was sweet he wanted to do this for me, and found myself grinning again.

“What?” he asked.

“Just you,” I answered, feeling my cheeks heat.

He smiled and looked down at his lap, messing with his car keys. I bit my lip and sucked in a long breath. There wasn’t much we hadn’t talked about in the past week and a half, and finding a new topic wasn’t always easiest when I could be content just looking at him.

“Did you ever pin something down with Uriah?” I asked.

Jason lifted his head with his brows furrowed. “We’re out for your birthday and you’re worried about Uriah?”

“Just wondering.”

A smiled tugged at his mouth. “I haven’t talked to him since the party at our place. I’m sending Leo out to find one of his guys in a few days.”

I kept my mouth shut about making Leo work all the time. It hadn’t been getting any better, but considering the last time I’d said something to Jason he’d walked away from me, the topic wasn’t negotiable.

I nodded. “Everything’s going okay outside, right? You’re not hiding me away because there are people lined up and down the block trying to kill us?”

He huffed. “I’m not trying to ‘hide you away’.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know, but I wish it didn’t feel like that,” he sighed. The woman came back with our drinks and Jason reached for his water right away. We both ordered food and he looked back at me apologetically after she left. “If you want to go out more, we can.”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I actually like the house, and it’s kind of nice to lay around all day.”

He bit his lip. “You’d let me know if you hated it, wouldn’t you?”

I rolled my eyes. “Believe me, you’d know if I were unhappy.”

We continued to talk about everything that’d been going on over the past few weeks even when our food came out. There were more moments of silence than what might have been normal, but they weren’t weird or uncomfortable. I’d found more and more in the past few days that I liked to simply be around Jason — we didn’t have to be saying anything to smile.

We’d been at the cafe about an hour when Jason finally paid the bill and we stood to leave. The evening out had felt short lived, but it’d been nice to at least know that Jason cared to take me out as opposed to just sleeping together. He held the door for me and I turned to head back to the truck, but felt his hand wrap around my wrist and tug me to his side.

“We’re not done yet,” he chuckled, placing his arm around my waist and leading us in the opposite direction. “A dinner isn’t all you’re getting.”

I bit my lip and bumped my hip into his as we walked. Several storefronts lined the street, all lit with fluorescent lights and window signs. The days had gotten much shorter already and the small shops illuminated a majority of the area surrounding them. We walked for a block or so before Jason turned inside a small outlet.

It was a rustic-looking shop with all different types of patterned clothes and jewelry. The lights were dimmer than most of the shops we’d seen and the space smelled strongly of lilac perfume, creating an atmosphere that I loved but couldn’t quite describe. Two workers stood behind the counter at the back talking quietly.

“Take your pick,” Jason encouraged.

“What?” I asked, looking at him confusedly.

“Anything you want in here is yours,” he replied. “Everyone I asked said their girlfriends loved this place, so I thought I’d take you here.”

More and more, Jason was shocking me with how much he could show he cared. It was insane, the contrast between the first side of him I’d seen and this one I was now living with. My heart swelled at the thought that I was the only one who got to see him like this. With the added bonus that Jason was now referring to me as his girlfriend, I didn’t think all the presents in the world could beat what he was giving me by just being around. My grin was untamable.

“I already have clothes from the first time you got me some,” I told him.

Jason shrugged. “And? It’s your birthday, and I’m sure you get bored with the same things.”

“How about a necklace?” I suggested, gesturing to the tables of jewelry across from us. “I don’t have any with me.”

“I didn’t even think you wore any,” his eyebrows rose.

“Just because I don’t wear earrings doesn’t mean I don’t wear anything else.” I laced my fingers through his and pulled him to a stand of necklaces. There were many with large pendants and small charms, but others were simpler silver and gold chains. “You should pick one for me.”

“I’m definitely not any good with this,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

“With what? Picking out a necklace you like on me?” I laughed. “It’s simple. I’ll just try one on, and you tell me if you like it or not.”

I began modeling different pieces, making faces at him as Jason tried pick one. After about five minutes of deliberating, we mutually settled on a thin gold chain with a simple celtic knot charm. A few minutes after that, we were back on the sidewalk and looking around at the different people walking by us. Rush hour crept up on Jason and I and getting across streets became difficult, so we stuck to one side that lead up to a lake.

The setting sun was reflecting across the water and quite a few people were walking along the path that went around the water. It was set in a large green space and surrounded by more of the city, giving the illusion of a small oasis in a concrete jungle. We made our way to a bench near the water and sat, Jason’s arm on the back rest behind me and my body leaning into his side. I breathed in the outdoor air, and though tainted by car exhaust and industrial fumes carried over a few miles, it still felt amazing to be outside.

I didn’t notice my eyes drooping until my head bobbed onto Jason’s shoulder. My cheeks grew hot and I sat up, trying to keep myself awake. For some reason I’d been hit with a wave of tiredness, and staying out didn’t have quite the nice ring to it as before.

“Ready to go back?” Jason asked, pushing a section of hair back from my face. I nodded, and he stood with me to go.

Jason carried the bag with the necklace he’d bought while I held onto his other hand, letting him lead the way back to his truck. Once we’d made it to the parking lot he unlocked the vehicle and pulled the passenger door open before helping me up. I waited as Jason strode around and slid into the driver’s seat, then drove us through the busy traffic and soon back to the house.

After pulling into the garage, Jason went to open the truck’s door for me again. Instead of letting me step down, though, I giggled as he slid his arms under my knees and behind my back to carry me in the door leading to the house. When we entered, no one was in the main room to see us. I assumed they were all either out or in a different room, but was immediately distracted by Jason stepping up the stairs two-at-a-time to get to our room.

He set me down to let me change as he did the same. I pulled on sweatpants and a t-shirt of Jason’s that’d made it’s way into my closet, then threw my hair into a high bun before stepping back out into the room. I kneeled onto the bed when Jason came out of his closet and curled into a ball as he came to sink beside me on the mattress.

“Did you have fun tonight?” he asked in my ear, sending a chill through me.

I nodded, placing a kiss to his jaw. “Thank you.”

Jason wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. He let out a few long breaths before looping his leg through mine. “I love you.”

“Love you,” I whispered back, and I was content as I let myself fall asleep.


	27. ~11.28~

The guys sat in the main room, spread out on bean bags and a few chairs as I put the last of a crazy amount of food in a container. With Thanksgiving the day before, I’d forced myself into overdrive with sending different people for various foods and cooking until my arms ached. Jason told me they’d never really celebrated the holiday as a group, but I refused to hear any of it. The last Thursday in November was a day filled with food that no one deserved to miss. Their eyes almost fell out of their heads when I put all the platters in front of them, and I finally was resting the day after.

I slid the filled container between two others in the fridge, noticing that the leftovers would last us at least a week. Taking in a deep breath, I closed the heavy door and made my way through the kitchen. I joined Jason on one of the giant bean bags, leaning into him as his arm rested around my shoulders. They were talking about encounters with different people over the last few days, most of which I found interesting. The people in and around Oakland were the same, yet very different from where we used to live.

“He pulled a knife on me before I even looked at him,” Carter rolled his eyes. “Son of a bitch didn’t have a chance. His arms were too short to reach me, and one punch to the side of his head had him spinning. Pathetic, really.”

“Everyone’s territories are so screwed up here,” Blondie shook his head. “All overlapping and squeezing between others — you can’t even tell whose guys are where. If you’re on good terms with one person, a guy from a different group could nail you in the same vicinity.”

“It shouldn’t happen to us,” Jason cut in. “Most of the guys on our side — Uriah, Isaiah, Thomas — all border each other. There shouldn’t be confusion if all of us are where we’re supposed to be.”

Carter shrugged. “I took a detour. At least they know they can’t take me out that easy.”

“Speaking of Crowe,” Blondie said. “When are we getting that going? I don’t like being here without some kind of connection to him. Leaves us way too open, especially being as new as we are.”

“Leo’s going tonight,” Jason answered, nodding at him. Leo returned the gesture, a sign that they’d talked about it previous to the discussion. “By tomorrow I should have another time set up to talk with Uriah.”

“What kind of deal are we talking with him?” Blondie continued.

Jason shrugged. “Just business. Drug money, different kinds of trade, other kinds of things. With Uriah it really could be anything. He’s a good ally to have.”

I could admit I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of Leo going out alone tonight. He’d become like a brother to me in the past three months, and to say I’d gotten a little protective of him would be accurate. I’d never been a worrier, but the dangers of meeting Uriah’s guys alone made me uncomfortable for him. The guys hadn’t stopped sending him for tons of stupid tasks, and I had yet to figure out why.

“How many guys do you think he’ll send tonight?” Tyson chipped in.

“Probably only one.” Jason shifted to prop himself up with his elbow. “Two at the most. We’re most likely the least of his worries right now.”

The thought that there wouldn’t be many guys meeting Leo gave me a little bit of relief, and I let out another long breath. I glanced at Leo, who was typing rapidly on his phone. His forehead was pulled together and I rose my eyebrows at him, but he didn’t look up to see my questioning stare.

Xander came in from the garage, wiping his hands off on a dirty towel. His hair was disheveled and he looked flustered. I hadn’t noticed him missing from the circle, but realized it now that I didn’t remember hearing his usual input.

“Whoever brought that piece of shit here wasted their time,” he grunted, chucking the towel at Jason. He caught it, raising an eyebrow at Xander.

“I believe that was actually you who sent me to pick it up,” Jason said. “I told you we have enough vehicles.”

“It was a great car, though,” he replied.

“Back when it was made, sure — in the sixties,” Jason huffed. He rocked forward and stood, moving across the room toward Xander. “If I’d’ve known I would be doing most of the work in getting that thing to work–“

“I didn’t ask you to help,” Xander told him, following Jason back toward the door.

“I had a feeling you were going to.”

Their voices disappeared with the closing of the door, leaving the rest of us sitting together. Carter glanced at Blondie before standing and nodding at him.

“We still have to head down town before Jason needs us later,” he said. Blondie nodded and followed Carter, and they soon were in the garage before Tyson stood up.

“I’ll be up in my room if anyone needs me,” he mumbled before heading up the stairs.

Leo and I were left alone. He was still typing insanely fast on his phone, completely ignoring me, when his ringtone sounded. I blinked as the crease in his forehead faded a bit and he stood abruptly. Without saying another word, he walked out of the main room and toward the front door. I heard it open and shut a few seconds later, and was left alone to wonder what that’d been about. Leo hadn’t been weird to me since the hospital and it was a little frustrating to see this side of him come back.

I pushed myself to my feet and shuffled to the kitchen with a sigh. Not wanting to join Jason in the garage and embarrass myself with how little I knew about cars, I settled for staying in and leaned against the island. It’d been a good few days since Jason and I had gone out for my birthday. We’d been out again, just to buy a few things for his truck and for the house. Life outside was becoming more interesting, considering I hadn’t really given a care up to that point with Jason being here with me. It was refreshing, and we were planning to grab dinner again in a few days, after everything with Uriah and Isaiah settled into place.

I was in the kitchen for about ten minutes before I heard the front door open again. After its noisy shut and the sound of heavy boots on the floor, Leo came back into sight. My forehead pulled together as I noticed his strained expression. He seemed a few shades paler, like the blood had rushed from his face. I noticed his hand closed tightly around his phone and chewed the inside of my cheek.

“Are you okay?” I asked hesitantly. If he didn’t give me a straight answer, I was willing to call him out. I was tired of Leo dancing around me when he got like this.

“I-I need to talk to you,” he said carefully. I could see his effort to reign in how much his face gave away.

I blinked, honestly surprised he hadn’t avoided my question. “Okay. What’s going on?”

The door leading to the garage banged open and Jason entered, oil smudged on his cheek and sleeves rolled up. His hair was messy along the right side and I let a smile escape me. Jason looked great whenever he was working on projects similar to the piece of junk car Xander had bought. I turned my head back to Leo, who’d completely composed himself when Jason entered.

“What time do you need us back?” Leo asked him casually.

“Around ten.”

Leo nodded, then sent me a serious look Jason couldn’t see. I knew Leo didn’t want me to say anything to Jason. Whatever he had to tell me, it was something only I could hear. I trusted Jason, but Leo didn’t — I had to respect his boundaries whether I liked it or not.

“How’s the car?” I asked Jason, patting his side as he moved toward the sink. I watched Leo give me one last glance before jogging up the stairs and into his room. I let out an inaudible breath.

“Shitty,” he answered.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” I rolled my eyes, stepping up beside him to put soap in his open hands.

“Xander has a soft spot for junk cars,” Jason huffed. “He can usually get them running, but he’s never brought back one this old and busted up. Hopefully he can fix it up and sell it for a couple more grand than he bought it for.”

I stepped back as he turned, wrinkling my noise and recoiling when he flicked water at me. Jason smiled, then placed his palm on the small of my back to pull me closer. I swatted at his dripping hands, making a noise of protest when he placed his other on my cheek and kissed me. I couldn’t help my grin, but managed to push him away. Water made my shirt stick to my skin and a couple droplets slid down my face. Glaring playfully, I reached for the towel beside him.

“Jerk,” I said, wiping my face before throwing it at him.

Jason shrugged, drying his hands and setting the towel aside.

“What are you doing tonight?” I asked casually, reaching into a cabinet for a cup. I turned to the fridge and filled it with water.

“Carter, Lucas, Leo, and I are going downtown to pick something up,” he answered. “A friend is bringing a few guns we left behind.”

“You need four guys for that?” I questioned, my brow furrowing. I could understand one person going with him — maybe even two — but three extra hands weren’t necessary in taking home a few weapons.

“You never know.” Jason took a drink from the cup I’d filled, causing me to send him another lighthearted glare.

“Why don’t you give Leo a break? You’ve had him every which way for almost a month now.” Plus, having Leo here would give us a chance to talk without Jason interrupting. I wasn’t going to be happy if I missed out on Leo actually wanting to tell me something.

“He’s fine with it,” Jason discounted, moving to turn away. “He won’t even be with us long anyway. He has to meet Uriah’s guy around midnight.”

I caught his hand and interlocked our fingers. “Come on. Leo’s tired. Please? For me?”

He rolled his eyes, then watched my face for a long time. My bottom lip was taken between my teeth. I gave him my best pleading look, smiling widely as I saw him cave.

“Fine,” Jason sighed. “This is the only time, though.”

I stood on my toes to kiss him. “Thank you.”

He looped his arms around my waist and held me close. I rested my forehead on his chest and took in a deep breath, smiling as I let it out. Things had been so much easier lately — talking to Jason, being around him, loving him. I didn’t know what it was, but everything about our atmosphere had changed the second he told me he loved me too. This side of him — the one I’d previously convinced myself didn’t exist — was continually surprising me with his kindness and willingness to make me smile.

I didn’t know why Leo didn’t trust him. At first I hadn’t, but I’d quickly realized that I had no reason to shove him out. Jason’s past brought up a lot of issues, sure, but neither Leo nor I had been around for those events. Moreover, none of them, spare for Leah briefly, had come back to bite anyone. Jason wasn’t who Leo thought he was.

“What are you thinking?” I asked absentmindedly. I’d found myself asking him this more and more. His thoughts always seemed so hidden within his expressions.

“I’m thinking that pool sounds really nice right now.”

I pulled back and laughed. “I’d join you, but I don’t have anything to wear.”

Jason took my face in his hands and let his lips linger on mine for several seconds. “You can have some of my clothes.”

I pecked his nose and pushed away, heading toward our room without waiting for him. “Meet you out there in a few.”

 

•• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• ••

 

I ran a hand through my hair, finally dry after a shower several hours ago. My feet padded down the stairs to find Jason, Blondie, and Carter waiting in the main room. Jason shrugged his jacket on before his eyes found me. A smile spread onto his features as I walked toward him and into his arms.

“I don’t have to tell you to be careful, do I?” I asked, just loud enough for him to hear. “People change, especially with guns in the mix.”

“I’ll be fine,” he chuckled, kissing my forehead briefly before I stood back from him.

Leo strode into the room, tucking his phone into his back pocket when he caught sight of us. “I’m ready when you are.”

“You’re sitting this one out,” Jason told him. “You’re still going to Richmond tonight, though. Uriah changed the time to eleven.”

Leo gave him a confused look, but nodded.

“Where’s Tyson?” Carter spoke up. “He was supposed to fill up my car.”

“He left about an hour ago,” Xander said as he appeared at the bottom of the stairs. “He’s meeting his girlfriend a few towns over. Your car is in the garage.” He jingled the set of keys in his hand. “Got the car up and running. I’m going to see how it drives.” He pushed out into the garage, followed by several eye rolls.

“We should head,” Blondie said, moving to follow Xander.

With a kiss to my forehead, Jason took the lead and soon the three disappeared out the door. I heard the large doors open and shut, and soon Leo and I were left in complete silence. I turned, heart beating a little harder at the thought of hearing what he had to say. Leo always had a way of evading me, but I knew he couldn’t now; and whatever he’d wanted to say before had him at least a little nervous, which in turn made me anxious.

To my amazement, Leo attempted to brush past me. My jaw went slack and I reached out to catch his forearm. He turned, shrugging me off before moving quickly toward the stairs.

“What the hell, Leo?” I shouted, following after him. “You said you needed to tell me something.”

“I will,” he mumbled, jogging up the steps. “Just wait.”

“I’m sick of waiting,” I shot back, following at his heels. “Do you know how long it’s been since we’ve had a normal conversation without you darting off like you can’t trust me? A hell of a long time — and it’s not my fault.”

He stopped mid-stride, causing me to almost bump into him. We were in the upstairs hallway, standing in front of his room. Leo turned, jaw clenched and eyes searching my face frantically.

“One minute,” he said harshly. “That’s all I’m asking. Go wait downstairs, and if I’m not back in one minute then you have permission to beat the shit out of me.”

I opened my mouth to say something but ended up biting my tongue. I could wait a minute. Sighing heavily, I turned and traipsed away. He opened his bedroom door while I made my way into the main room. My feet lead me up and down the length of the wall, pacing as I counted out seconds in my head. What had gotten him so stressed, and why had it gotten to me so quickly? I wasn’t being reasonable in that aspect, but I had every reason to be frustrated with him in terms of everything else.

I’d barely counted a minute when his feet landed back on the first floor. My head whipped to meet his gaze, both of us holding a level expression. When he moved out into the room I saw something sticking out from the back of his shirt and immediately a gun came to my mind. It made me nervous, and I slowly moved away from the wall.

“First, I need you to listen to me,” Leo started. “Don’t interrupt me, and don’t ask questions until I’m done. It’s important you do that, or it’s not going to make any sense.”

I tried to pick out an underlying tone, but couldn’t find one. All I could do was nod and wring my hands. “Okay.”

He let out a heavy breath. “You have to understand that when this started, I wasn’t sure about you, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to trust Jason. Jason was — and still is — a narcissistic asshole that doesn’t know when to stop.” I opened my mouth to defend Jason, but Leo held up his hand. “Listen to me, dammit!”

I recoiled, a stunned expression forming on my face. It was then that I noticed how anxious he seemed even though he was able to stand in one spot without fidgeting. What had Leo done?

“You asked me to see where Emmett was,” Leo continued. “You also asked me to keep an eye on your brother and on Tyler. I thought you were insane, making me go after people who hated everything about me because I’m connected to Jason. I’d’ve had to be suicidal to go for it — but I did anyway, because I wanted to help you. I know how bad Jason screws people over, and I figured if I could do one thing for you it would be that.”

My forehead pulled together. Pity was what had brought Leo to help me? I swallowed the pride in me screaming to tell him off, and tried to see where he was going with what he was saying.

“So… Well, I did. I tried to keep my distance, but it was obvious from the start they knew I was hanging around in their territory.” I bit my lip as Leo rubbed his hands over his face. “It wasn’t long before one of your guys — Peter, actually — caught up with me. I got cornered, and I told him you’d sent me. At first he didn’t believe it and I was forced to tell him more so he didn’t end up killing me. That was about two weeks after you asked me to keep an ear out.

“As soon as Peter realized I didn’t want to hurt anyone, we figured something out. We traded numbers and parted ways, agreeing never to set foot in each other’s territory again. As far as I know, we’re both still upholding that.” He bit his lip. “Peter kept in touch with me in return for different bits of information on Jason and what was going on. Another part of our agreement was that neither of us could say anything to anyone in our groups — the reason being Jason would literally kill me, and Mendall wouldn’t be able to think clearly until he’d killed every single person in this house.”

I was hit with a stab of guilt at the mention of Tyler, knowing Leo was right about his devotion. But he’d been in contact with Peter the whole time and hadn’t told me? My fists clenched, nails digging into my palms until I thought they might bleed. Leo had kept me from the people I loved, even after I’d asked him to tell me. Did that mean he actually knew where Emmett was?

“The reason I didn’t tell you is that by the time I established a good amount of information on your brother and Tyler, you seemed to shy away from their names. You’d started whatever this is with Jason, and I thought you wanted to forget about them.” He paused, probably noticing the reddening in my face from anger. “I can see I was wrong; but I swore to myself I would tell you if anything huge happened.”

“Huge?” I couldn’t keep the rage from my voice. Had it not occurred to him that contact with my family would be pretty damn big?

“You’re not listening, Phoebe–“

“Of course I’m fucking listening!” I bellowed, striding to him and taking a fistful of his shirt in my hand. “You knew about my brother — my boyfriend — and you didn’t tell me when I asked?”

“My life is on the line!” Leo shot back, prying my hand from him and shoving it away. “If Jason figures this out, I’m as good as dead! Do you not understand that I could’ve just ignored you and gone on with my life? I’m sticking out my neck, have been ever since I decided to help you. If I hadn’t said anything, you wouldn’t know that I even went anywhere.”

“You did tell me though, didn’t you?” I hissed. “Is that all you were planning on saying? Because if that’s it, I suggest you leave so I don’t kick your ass.”

“No, that isn’t it,” he snapped. “You would’ve known that if you’d waited.”

“You honestly expect me to sit quiet through this?” I let out a bitter laugh. “Damn, you really are stupid. You crossed a line.”

“One that you asked me to cross! Don’t you dare pin this shit on me. None of this would be happening if you hadn’t asked.”

“You could’ve just told me when it happened!”

“And let Jason work out for himself what happened?” He threw up his hands. “It would’ve been obvious, me never being at the house for a good two weeks and then you trying your best at leaving. I’d be dead before I could blink.”

“Do you honestly think I’d let him kill you for helping me?” I shook my head. “You could’ve come with, if you were that afraid.”

“Right now it doesn’t matter what I did or didn’t do,” Leo huffed, turning away and running a hand through his hair.

“Then what does matter?” My voice was steely, cutting through the air between us.

“Peter and I hadn’t talked in a while, not since the move. But he called me today.”

My jaw went slack. “What did he say?”

Leo cursed under his breath and turned to face me. His expression was distraught and his eyes sent my stomach plummeting to my toes. I knew right away something bad had happened. The thought sent a wave of helplessness through me. Was it Emmett? My brother? Tyler?

“Leo?” I choked out around the feeling of suffocation in my throat.

“Your brother,” he replied, as flatly as he could while looking me in the eye. “Last I heard, about three hours ago, he was still in the ICU. Someone went after him. They almost killed him.”


	28. ~11.29~

My jaw dropped and my legs felt like rubber. Sam? In the hospital? Who would want to hurt him? The only enemies we had in Poway were Jason and his group, but we weren’t anywhere near him right now.

My hands began to shake and I pressed them to my face, trying to hold in the part of me that wanted to collapse. The ICU? No one I’d ever known had ended up in a critical condition without the situation ending in death. What had happened? Had he been shot? Stabbed? There were so many questions flying through my head, making me feel dizzy.

“W-What happened?” I stammered, my voice wavering. Arms too heavy to hold up anymore, I let them drop to my sides and waited for Leo to answer me.

“I don’t have time to explain right now,” Leo said hurriedly. “The only way you’re going to get all the answers you want is to be there with him.”

“How the hell am I supposed to do that?” I squeaked. There was no way I could leave this house, no way I could get down there as fast as I needed to.

He dug in his pocket and stepped up to me. “Take these.” In his outstretched hand was a set of keys. “My car will get you there faster than a bus will.”

I stared at them for a few seconds, still reeling from the news of my brother, before Leo huffed and pushed them into my fingers. “But what about… I don’t–“

“You know how to drive, right?” he asked hurriedly.

“Yeah, I mean… Yeah, but–“

“Then pack a duffel and go. You probably don’t have that much time before Jason gets back, and if Xander sees you leaving he’ll call Jason without hesitating — if he doesn’t shoot you first.”

He reached to his backside and pulled something from his waistband and from his other pocket. I gaped as he held out my gun and phone in his hand. “How did you–“

“It doesn’t matter,” Leo rushed, against pushing my possessions into my hands. “Go pack clothes, or I’ll do it for you. I already put my number in your phone in case you need me.”

I stared at him blankly for a long second, heart pounding, before finally kicking into gear. My feet carried me as fast as they could up the stairs and into Jason’s room, throwing what was in my hands on the bed before shoving the first things I saw into my duffel. As fast as I was going, I felt like I was moving in slow motion as I zipped my bag and picked up my gun, phone, and Leo’s keys again. He was still waiting for me in the main room, typing frantically on his phone.

“Aren’t you coming?” I breathed as I stepped up to the door leading to the garage. “Jason will freak out when he finds out I’m gone, and since you’re the only one here he’ll automatically come after you.”

Leo smiled wryly. “As much as I want to, I still owe Jason. I’ve just got to go meet this guy so they’ll at least be on good terms with Uriah, but I promise I’ll be right behind you.”

I tried not to think about what Jason might do to Leo if he caught him. “How will you get there?”

“I’m taking Xander’s car,” he answered. “I told him mine’s having trouble, so he’ll think it’s in the shop when he comes back and it’s gone.” Leo’s phone chimed and he looked down at it, then back up to me. “You have to go now, Phoebe. I promise, I’ll be there soon after you.”

I bit my lip, then bounced on the balls of my feet before stepping over to pull him into a hug. He seemed surprised at first but wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

“I’m still pissed you didn’t tell me about Pete,” I mumbled. I sucked in a shaky breath. “But thank you for telling me about Sam, and thank you for letting me go.”

He let out a long breath. “Go, and I’ll make it up to you later.”

I pulled back and nodded, casting him one last glance before pushing into the garage, starting Leo’s car, and doing my best to not let the steering wheel shake as much as my hands.

 

•• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• ••

 

My breathing still hadn’t evened out by the time I hit Poway, eyes no doubt bloodshot from the seven-hour night drive. Hands gripping the steering wheel too tight, my heart pounded as I pulled into the familiar parking lot of the hospital we’d always ended up at for any kind of dumb injury you could think of.

I remembered the first time I was here was when I was eleven, to get stitches in my hand. Sam and I had been screwing around with a knife and I’d grabbed it where I shouldn’t have. Both of us freaking out, my brother illegally drove us here and ended up getting yelled at by our uncle, our only responsible legal guardian still alive at the time. Sam and I had been here together on countless occasions, but I couldn’t remember a time I’d ever been scared — worried, yes, but never fearing for Sam’s life.

I parked as far back in the lot as I could, hoping to avoid anyone recognizing Leo’s car. It was a dumb thing to do, but people around here knew Jason’s group and they knew how and in what they got around. I didn’t want to risk damage to Leo’s vehicle after everything he’d done for me.

I checked the clock on the dash. It was six in the morning, about the time when the hospital started accepting visitors. Still trembling, I left my duffel and gun on the seat, then stuffed my phone and keys into the back pocket of my jeans. After slamming the car door and locking it, I walked as fast as I could without running into the hospital.

My feet carried me to the front desk and I leaned on the counter. I could hardly feel what I was saying and doing, the only thing on my mind getting to Sam. A sheet in front of me on the counter was a visitor sign-in. I grabbed it immediately and began filling it out.

“Name of the patient you’re here to see?” a middle-aged woman asked politely.

“Samuel Lastings,” I said hurriedly.

She nodded and typed in a few things on her computer before her expression turned solemn and she addressed me again. “Mr. Lastings is in the Intensive Care Unit and not taking any visitors right now.”

My jaw went slack. “What?”

“I’m sorry, you’ll have to come back at a later time.”

I had to see Sam. If I couldn’t, I didn’t know what I would do. My body felt like it was being compressed by an unseen force, weighing down on me so I couldn’t breathe. Sam could be dying, and I was stuck down here. The thought dug at my throat and I let out an almost inaudible noise as tears sprung to my eyes. I showed her the sheet I’d just filled out, trying to blink away the first moisture my eyes had let form in years. “I’m Phoebe Lastings — his sister.”

The woman had to take the paper from my shaking hands to read it, then sighed. She placed it back on the counter and proceeded to fill out something I couldn’t see. After a few seconds, the woman slid a visitor badge with my name on it across the counter. She then told me his room number and gave me a sympathetic look.

“Thank you,” I breathed, then grabbed the badge and rushed to the elevators. I swatted at my eyes, willing myself not to cry. I couldn’t remember the last time I had, and wouldn’t let myself now. Neither Sam nor I had time to waste on tears. I had to focus on seeing him.

The elevator couldn’t have gone fast enough for me. I danced from foot to foot, trying unsuccessfully to calm myself. No matter how much I’d consciously gone against my brother in the past three months, I still loved him and was afraid of losing him more than anything. He was the only person who really knew me, though I doubted he could say that if he’d known what I’d done.

As soon as the elevator’s doors inched open, I took in a shaky breath and stepped through. A sign on the wall pointed me to the left and I hastily turned and jogged down the hallway. The only noise, spare for my shoes echoing against the pale walls, was that of heart monitors and various other life-saving machines. It was ominous, walking past rooms where people were fighting for their lives. My eyes searched for Sam’s room number, but it wasn’t in the corridor I was moving along. I knew I’d have to turn the corner, passing a mostly empty waiting room at the end. It was occupied by one person.

Peter.

“Pete,” I inaudibly breathed, a sick feeling forming in my stomach. I hadn’t seen him in almost three months. It almost felt wrong to see his tousled hair and tall stature, wearing his usual jeans and hoodie. My first instinct was to feel guilty at the sight of anyone in my group, but he hardly gave me any time.

“Phoebe,” he said, looking up at the sound of my heavy footsteps.

He stood abruptly and met me at the beginning of the waiting room, enveloping me in a hug before I could say anything more. My arms wrapped around his torso and squeezed tightly. There was no doubt he could feel my heart pounding, both from nerves and from my anxiety for Sam. He only held me tighter when I began to let me arms fall. I was grateful then for his kind nature, always seeming like as much of a brother as Sam.

“Leo told me you were on your way,” he mumbled, finally letting me go.

“What the hell was that about anyway?” I suddenly snapped. The combination of lack of sleep and stress had me swinging back and forth between emotions, and the reminder of Leo and Pete not telling anyone about their communications brought up the anger I’d first felt.

He pursed his lips. “He said he told you about it.”

“Not enough,” I huffed, rubbing my face. “I want to hear it from you, because his explanation was shit.”

Pete let out a hushed sigh. “You know if I told them about it, Sam and Tyler wouldn’t have stopped until they’d broken down the door and tried to pull you out.”

“Why didn’t you let them?”

“You should understand better than anyone that they’d be dead before they even got inside the door, don’t you?” He set his hands on my shoulders. “Jason’s strong, and people driven by emotions are rash and idiotic.”

I chewed the inside of my cheek, knowing he was right but not wanting to accept it. “Why didn’t any of you come after me in the first place?” My voice cracked as the last words left my mouth. “I thought none of you even wanted me back. You didn’t text me, either.”

Peter’s forehead pulled together. “Things got complicated after they took you. When Tyler got your message, you said yourself that Jason was taking your phone back. It was pointless to message back when we knew Jason was only going to read it. On top of that, his warehouse may have been easy to get into, but his house is totally different with the alarm system and everyone inside.”

“But Leo was giving you information,” I pressed, crossing my arms over my chest. “You probably knew more about that house than me, and I was inside it.”

“It’s not that simple,” he sighed. “After what happened with Emmett and you, alliances shifted and we became a target. People saw us as vulnerable and were taking shots at us. We barely even had time to take a breath.” He swallowed hard. “Chloe and I broke up.”

My jaw dropped, disregarding everything he’d just said. “What?”

Peter shook his head. “Things got dangerous. I told her I wanted her and Bella to move upstate and live with her aunt, as psychotic as she is. Chloe didn’t understand, and a shouting match was all it took to for her to walk out the door and take Bella with her.” He bit his lip and looked away.

“Oh my God,” I whispered, taking his hands from my shoulders and pulling him into another hug. “I’m so sorry.”

He sucked in a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter right now. You probably want to see your brother.”

A pang of anxiety swept through me as I stepped back. “Yeah.”

He nodded and began walking down the hallway I’d meant to turn into. I counted a few doors before Pete reached for the right handle, tugging it open and holding it for me. My stomach told me I didn’t want to move, but my feet lead me inside anyway. A heart monitor was beeping slowly, at least a second between each ping. I heard it before I saw the bed, surrounded by thin curtains. The room was empty and unattended, spare for the machines keeping him alive like they were programmed to do.

I was thankful for Peter’s hand on my back, encouraging me forward when I knew I wanted to see Sam but couldn’t find a way to move. I wanted to know for sure that this was him, attached to everything in this room that smelled like antiseptic. My teeth bit down hard on my tongue and I winced at the feeling. Just a few more steps and I would be able to see him.

When I was finally able to see around the curtain, I was caught between a feeling of numbness and painful fear. Suddenly unable to stand, I fell back against a prepared Peter, who held me up as I took in the sight of Sam.

Among the tubes running from his mouth, I saw deep bruises covering his chin and reaching all the way up to his eye sockets. His eyelids were closed, but I knew he wouldn’t be able to open them if he wanted to. Sutures along his left cheekbone sent a chill through me. I was about to look away before I saw the bulk of a bandage underneath his hospital gown, from his hips to his chest. My bottom lip trembled and I turned to bury my face in Peter’s chest.

“What happened?” I choked out.

“Do you want to go outside before I tell you?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing this whole situation to just disappear. Sam shouldn’t be in the hospital right now, I shouldn’t be down in Poway again — hell, I shouldn’t even have left. I gave up on my group without thinking that they could be going through hell too. After a long, shaky breath, I nodded.

Peter helped me out the door and back to the waiting room, leaving most of the potent hurt of seeing Sam behind in his room. We sat down in chairs near the far corner of the room, my head in my hands as tears reappeared in my eyes.

“Are you ready to hear what I have to say?” Peter asked gently.

I clenched my jaw and nodded slightly. I needed to know what happened to Sam, who did this to my brother. Whoever it had been, I’d tear them apart.

“Thursday night,” he started. “Probably even as late as Friday morning, he went out to fill up his car. I don’t know why he was going that late, especially with everything that’s been happening lately, but he did. It was our usual gas station, and he was going to take out the hose when they jumped him. The clerk inside called the cops, but they didn’t get there fast enough to stop them from putting two bullets in him. The police report says it was two guys who got away before they could track them down, but that doesn’t change the fact that he could’ve died if we hadn’t gotten him here when we did. The doctors say he has a good chance of pulling through, but that doesn’t say anything about his recovery time and what his limits are going to be. The bullets managed to miss anything with crazy importance, but they did mess up one of his kidneys.”

I sucked in a sharp breath, but kept in mind that Sam would heal. He always had a way of bouncing back, and I wasn’t going to convince myself that this time was different. He was my brother, and he had to pull through for me.

“Last time the doctor came out to talk to me, they said he was nearly stable. They’ll probably pull him out of Intensive Care later today.” Peter’s words made me feel a little better even though my brother didn’t look even remotely ready to come out of the ICU.

“Where is everyone?” I asked, my brain suddenly registering that Pete was the only one with Sam. I knew it was early in the morning, but the group I left stuck together.

“When Leo told me you were coming I told them to go home,” he answered. “Markus had to go talk to a guy who we’ve been working with for two months anyway. They don’t know you’re here, and I figured you wouldn’t want them to until you’ve calmed down.”

I was confused as to why he wouldn’t think I would want to see anyone. Of course, I felt too ashamed to even think about looking Tyler in the eye, loving the man who made life a living hell for all of us — especially Markus — and shot Emmett. Pete was right, I didn’t want to see them right away. But he wouldn’t know I couldn’t face him; he could only know that if–

“Leo told you, then,” I mumbled, my throat suddenly dry. “About Jason and me.”

He let a breath leave his lungs in a rush and he stared at his shoes. I couldn’t see his face, but I knew Pete’s expression held disappointment. Just his reaction told me he knew, and to finally say what I’ve been dreading telling the people Jason had hurt made my insides churn. It felt just as bad as I’d imagined.

“Yeah, he told me,” Pete answered. “I think all of us are lucky Tyler doesn’t know.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and cursed, pulling my knees to my chest and hugging myself. No one knew that Jason and I had shared “I love you”s. I’d hoped no one would know, but I hadn’t thought so far ahead as to what I would do when I wanted to go back to Jason. They wouldn’t let me out of my sight, not after I’d been gone for almost three months. Tyler wouldn’t give up the search if I disappeared in the middle of the night. Tyler… I didn’t know what I would do.

“What are you going to do about Tyler?” he asked as if on cue. “What will Jason do when he finds out you’re gone?”

I shook my head, hiding my face from him. There was no doubt in my mind Jason had figured out I’d left, but I had no idea what he would do. “I don’t want to think about it right now. Is Leo almost here?”

The was a long silence before he said anything. “He hasn’t messaged me back since just after you left, but he should be on the way. I’m sure you’ve had a long night, Phoebe. You should sleep.” I felt his hand on my knee. “Do you want to go back to the house?”

My whole body tensed. “No. Can we just stay here?”

I looked up, catching his eyes with mine. He smiled sadly then wrapped his arm around me, an invitation to rest on his shoulder. Grateful again for his kindness, I closed my eyes and tried to take my mind off of everything.

 

•• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• ••

 

“Phoebe,” I heard Peter’s voice waking me from sleep.

I lifted my head from his shoulder and tried to blink the haze from my eyes. Light was filtering in from the windows and casting a warm glow over the room. My lungs took in a deep breath and I stretched, looking toward Peter. My forehead pulled together at his nervous expression as he stared at his phone.

“If you’re not ready to face anyone yet, I suggest you go somewhere you won’t be seen,” he said hurriedly, looking up at me. “I just got Markus’s text. Tyler’s heading into the hospital now, and Markus isn’t far behind him.”

My chest constricted and I stood abruptly. “Where?” I almost shouted. I wasn’t ready, and probably never would be. Tyler wasn’t someone I could face, especially not so soon after seeing my brother. I needed somewhere to hide.

Peter looked at me incredulously. “I don’t know, just go somewhere you can’t–“

He was interrupted by the sound of car keys clattering to the floor and echoing against blank walls. My head whipped in the direction of the noise and I almost let out a whimper as my gut twisted inside me. Legs feeling like rubber, I had no choice but to stand and take in Tyler’s wide-eyed expression from down the hall.

We did nothing but stare at each other for a long moment. All the while I could feel myself trying to tear my insides apart, punishing me for how much I’d betrayed Tyler. I’d let myself love Jason despite everything Tyler and I had been through — all the years I loved him, or at least I thought I had. Maybe my love for Jason had just been different; but it didn’t matter now as I let my eyes fall to the floor.

“Phoebe,” Tyler said, hope pouring from the one word.

Suddenly he could move again, jogging down the hall to stand in front of me. My feet were glued to the spot, as was my gaze. I couldn’t bring myself to look at his face. I jumped as his arms wrapped around me, hugging me to his chest in the embrace that used to fill me with happiness — now I only felt guilt and hurt. My arms stayed limp at my sides, my entire body being consumed by numbness. I was beginning to shut down from everything I was being put through.

“Oh my God,” Tyler breathed into my hair. If he noticed I wasn’t reciprocating his embrace, he didn’t show it. “I have no words to tell you how much I missed you. Jesus, how did you get out? You disappeared! Where the hell have you been?”

My jaw went slack and I turned my head to look at Peter. He was standing beside us, a look of uneasiness pasted to his expression. I begged him with my eyes to say something so I didn’t have to. I didn’t trust my voice, let alone the words that would come out of my mouth.

“Jason relocated,” Peter said for me, and I was grateful he’d gotten my hint. Tyler loosened his grip and I stood back, crossing my arms. I looked away so I didn’t have to see his face. “She drove all night to get here in one of his guys’ car.”

“How did you slip out, though?” Tyler pressed. He was still trying to address me, but I couldn’t speak. I had to bite my lip to stop it from trembling.

“They left an opening,” Peter insisted. “Misplaced keys and a good guess at the security code, and a few hours later here she is.”

“Phoebe can talk for herself,” Tyler told him as he stepped in front of me. He took my face in his hands and tipped up my chin. “Phoebe, please say something. Did he hurt you?”

“No,” was all I could manage. Jason wouldn’t hurt me. That was the only thing I knew for sure right then, the only confident answer I could give. Everything else was a wild card.

He let out a sigh of relief, studying me. I closed my eyes, unable to stare into his hazel ones. This was torture, but he didn’t know it. My stomach continued to twist into knots, rolling over itself and making me feel sick.

“Thank God,” he said quietly, placing a kiss to the corner of my mouth. “I couldn’t bear it if he did. I love you so much.”

My hands shook as I tried to smile at him. I had a feeling it came out looking like I was in agony, putting on a face to show I was okay when really I was missing half of my body. I felt incomplete, hollow and numb. It showed on his face that Tyler noticed, but he didn’t say anything. He probably thought I was just scarred from being at Jason’s for so long.

“Mr. Friedriks?” a high voice called from the place where the waiting room met the hallway. “Can I have a word with you?”

It was a nurse, dressed in a smock with a clipboard in her hands. She was looking at Pete expectantly, who sighed and gave Tyler and I one last glance before walking over to her. I squeezed my eyes shut and breathed deeply, trying to stay calm. I couldn’t be in the hospital, couldn’t bear it, but somehow I had to for Sam. When I opened my eyes, I saw Tyler move to pull me into another hug. Immediately I walked back to the chair I’d been sitting in, pretending I hadn’t noticed. He cast me a wary look before taking up the seat beside me.

“How are you?” he asked carefully.

“Fine,” I said, trying to use as few words as I could.

“I haven’t seen you in almost three months, but I still know you well enough to pick out when you’re lying.” He meant for it to sound lighthearted, but nothing was easy going at that point.

“I haven’t seen anyone in three months, Tyler,” I bit back. “I’ve been indoors the entire time I’ve been gone, thinking that the people I loved didn’t give enough of a damn to get me out. I drove seven hours last night, trying to hold myself together after being told by someone I’m supposed to hate that my brother is in the hospital after almost being killed. So please, forgive me if I’m a little short with you.”

I didn’t have the will to look at his face. My anger wasn’t necessarily justified, but I didn’t know where else to go with it. Pushing Tyler away seemed like the best option, since I didn’t want to hurt him or myself by trying to pretend nothing had changed.

“You know that’s not true,” Tyler said, almost a whisper.

“Do I?” I countered just as quietly. I knew he was mentioning my lack of faith in them, but in those first few weeks until I opened myself to Jason I’d felt so lonely. Anything my mind threw at me seemed right, since I had no one else to confide in. I could’ve gone insane.

“I’d like to think you know I love you more than to let you suffer with Jason for no reason.”

His voice was so gentle, his touch on my face even more so. I began to lean into his hand but suddenly corrected myself, looking away. I couldn’t do this to him, couldn’t pretend I loved him. All I felt was guilt now, not anything remotely love — he’d always be close, but never the way I was with Jason.

“How did you get out, anyway?” he continued.

“Peter already explained it.”

“Then why didn’t you leave sooner?” he pressed. “I mean, it was easy enough this time–“

“It’s not that simple,” I said flatly, meaning to end our conversation.

I had a feeling Tyler was going to say something more, but Peter came back into the waiting room. He was smiling slightly, relief all over his face.

“They’re discharging Sam from the ICU,” he said. “The nurse said he’ll be moved to another floor and will be under increased observation. If anything goes wrong — which is highly unlikely — they’ll have him back in Intensive care; but for the time being, he’s stable.”

Some of the tension building in my chest released. Stable was good, so much better than what I’d been expecting. My brother was healing.

“Thank God,” I sighed shakily, burying my face in my hands.

“That’s great news,” Tyler agreed.

“What is?”

I tensed again as I heard Markus’s voice. Looking up slowly, I braced myself for the inevitable surprised expression sure to glance his features. I was right, wincing as he caught sight of me and his jaw went slack.

“Phoebe?”

Peter cut in and explained what the nurse had said about Sam, diverting the attention from me momentarily. I took the extra time to stand, walking to find a place beside Peter. Markus kept his eyes trained on my form, but listened intently with a final nod as Peter finished speaking.

“How did you get out?” Markus said, not acknowledging my brother’s condition any further.

When I hesitated, Peter stepped in and explained it how he had to Tyler. Thankful for how much he was handling the situation, I rubbed my face again and sighed. Markus asked a few more prodding questions that Peter continued to answer, and it wasn’t until I’d looked around and remembered Emmett hadn’t come that I spoke.

“Is Emmett seriously screwing around at a time like this?” I said shortly, crossing my arms over my chest. “Shouldn’t he be here, seeing what he can do to help instead of wandering off?”

I felt all three of them tense and a look was passed around, long and drawn out before landing on me. I furrowed my brow and gave Peter a questioning look. He avoided my gaze, nodding at Markus briefly before he cleared his throat.

“Emmett’s dead.”

My heart clenched and my arms fell limp to my sides. Suddenly I felt like puking. They couldn’t be serious?

Markus took my silence as a chance to say more. “He died of ricin poisoning. The bullet Jason shot him with was laced with it.”

My jaw dropped, heart thundering in my chest. No, this couldn’t be right. My hand lifted to cover my mouth as I stepped back. A poisoned bullet?

“That son of a bitch,” Tyler mumbled behind me.

“W-What?” I stammered.

“Jason knew Emmett was going to die whether we got him to the hospital or not.” Peter’s expression was tense, fighting signs of angry. “They couldn’t figure out the source of his illness until it was too late.”

No. Emmett couldn’t be dead. Was that why Leo didn’t know where he was all the times I’d asked? Because he was buried ten feet deep? Maybe Leo had known, but didn’t want to tell me. He probably didn’t want me to feel the way I did, like my entire chest was being crushed slowly and painfully.

I shut my eyes tightly and shook my head. The Jason I knew wouldn’t do something like that. Jason would’ve provided the option for Emmett to live. I tried to convince myself that he hadn’t known about the poison, but it was foolish. He had to have known. Jason was a murderer. 

Did the part of him everyone else saw run too deep? The answer was yes, and trying to convince myself otherwise was wrong. I didn’t know what was more painful; Jason’s hand in Emmett’s death, or the fact that the Jason I loved might not’ve been able to make up for this.

“I–I need to leave,” I mumbled, pushing past all of them and jogging down the hall. My pulse was roaring in my ears. I needed to get out, needed to cool down and think everything through.

The hallway in front of me seemed endless, all of the rooms Emmett may have been in hanging a heavier feeling over my head. He was gone, just like my brother almost had been. I’d never fully understood how dangerous our world was until then. Breathing was becoming harder, each inhale forced and unnatural. Walls seemed to be closing in on me, suffocating just like everything I’d been hit with today in a short amount of time.

I put my head down and meant to turn into the open elevator doors, but I ran straight into someone. Dazed, I took a step back and let my hazy focus settle on the person — the man I’d crossed paths with.

It was Jason.

My mouth hung wide open and I stumbled back, leaning against the wall for support. He looked stoic, but I knew better by the slight twitching of the skin underneath his eyes. Jason was angry, but I was only wary and shocked. How could he have known where to find me so quickly? Why was my world flipping upside down in a matter of hours?

“Phoebe,” he said blandly.

“J-Jason,” I stuttered. “W-What are you–“   
“Doing here?” he finished sharply. “I could ask you the same damn thing.”

I saw the rage in his eyes and could only picture the moment he’d shot Emmett, leaving him bloody and lying on the floor while he looked on with a slight smirk to his lips. It was sickening, and I felt bile rising in my throat. Everything hitting me from every different direction was getting to be too much.

“What the hell, Phoebe?” he stepped forward. “You left and said nothing to me!”

“My brother was dying,” I choked out. “I had to come here and–“

“You should’ve called me, and we could’ve gone together!”

I gaped at him. “You took away my phone remember? And do you honestly think they would let you anywhere near Sam after you fucking killed Emmett?”

My words rang throughout the hall. Jason’s expression turned dark, staring at me through heavy eyes. If it were even possible, my heart pounded harder. This side was the Jason I loved, wasn’t the Jason he’d shown me.

“What did you say?”

A shaky breath escaped me. “I know about the poisoned bullet, Jason.”

“Can we just go, and we can talk about this when you’re not–“

“It was never a choice, was it?” I suddenly asked, a flame of rage starting in my chest. “Whether I went and saved Emmett or stayed and let him bleed out? Emmett never had a choice. I never had a fucking choice. You knew he was going to die, and you let believe that leaving with you was going to save him!”

“Phoebe, let’s go before this gets out of control,” Jason sighed.

“Oh, it’s already out of control!” I shouted back, my fists clenching. “You killed him! Don’t even try to tell me you didn’t know; bullets don’t just come tainted with shit! I’ve never really had a choice in anything! How dare you sit there and tell me you love me after everything you did behind my back! Why did you even come here?” I threw my hands up. “Was it because you knew they’d tell me all the shit you’ve done? Did you think you could get here soon enough to stop it? Dammit, Jason, I can’t even look at you anymore!”

His face wiped of all emotion, staring beyond my angry form.

“Phoebe?”

My stomach dropped as I recognized Tyler’s voice, closer than I would’ve liked. I winced and turned, meeting his gaze and watching his eyes flick in Jason’s direction. Immediately Tyler registered his presence and anger replaced and lightheartedness he had toward me.

“You!”

I watched in horror as Tyler tore down the hall, running at top speed with eyes blazing. Knowing Jason was his target, something crazy within me gathered the strength to push myself in the middle of the corridor. My feet planted between the two, serving as a block for Tyler. I didn’t want either of them hurt, didn’t want this problem in the first place. I was so, so stupid for thinking Jason was different. I’d made a horrible mistake.

“Get out of the way,” Tyler growled, slowing when he came within ten feet of me.

“No,” I said firmly, though the rest of me was shaking.

“Are you seriously defending the scum that’s kept you away from us for three months?”

“Watch your mouth, Mendall,” Jason snapped from behind me.

“Watch your back, McCann! You’re lucky I can’t rip your throat out here, but as soon as we get out of this place–“

“Both of you just shut the hell up!” I nearly screamed, turning sideways to I could give a burning look to both of them.

Despite the pounding pain in my chest, I reached up to rub my temples in Jason and Tyler’s silence. I could feel their shocked expressions on either side of me, trying to figure out what I was doing. In all honesty, I had no clue myself.

I let out another breath. “When is Leo getting here?” I asked Jason. As soon as he got here, we could get this whole thing sorted out with Peter and I could worry about only my brother. There was so much I would have trouble ignoring, but if Leo could convince Jason to leave, a large part of the conflict would disappear.

My eyes caught Jason’s, cold and hard as he said his next words.

“Uriah turned on me. His guys threw Leo on our lawn in a body bag. He’s dead, Phoebe.”

I let out a small whimper, falling back against the wall as I was hit with another deep blow. I felt like I was imploding, silence and blood roaring in my ears as my hands found the sides of my face. No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening, not again. Not again.

Tyler reached out as he saw me stumble, taking a few steps toward me as my entirety screamed inwardly.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” I hissed, ice in my tone.

Tyler recoiled, but Jason only looked on as I comprehended what he’d just said. Jason knew I would want space, knew me well enough to tell when I’d had enough. But then again, so did Tyler; at least, I thought he did. Everything he’d said to me so far had shown that I’d changed, leaving Tyler behind with my old self.

Leo’s face flew through my mind, promising me with his last words that he’d see me soon after I arrived in Poway again. I should’ve known something was wrong. I had known going alone to meet Uriah’s guy was dangerous. Thousands of scenarios ran through my head, ones where I could’ve stopped him from going. In a way, it was my fault for not forcing Leo to come with me.

News of Leo’s death, life taken in cold blood, was enough to shut me down. I became a blank canvas, one that was unusable and unfit to even look at. All I felt was numb. Right then, I knew I needed to leave. I needed to leave and not come back until I could sort everything out for myself. Granted, I had no idea when that would be, but I didn’t care.

Without saying another word I stood up straight and began striding to the elevator. I’d leave Tyler and Jason alone, leave them as Markus’s responsibility. I sure as hell didn’t want to deal with them; I never would want to. My teeth ground and I flinched at the feeling of Jason’s hand on my wrist. Eyes landing on him, I shook from his grasp and spun to face him head-on.

It was hidden well, but I was finally able to see inside his words — he was flailing, searching desperately for a way to keep me there. In another world I would’ve granted his plea, but we lived in a world where second chances were dangerous. 

“I have one question left,” Jason said quietly. “One question I haven’t used.”

I was hit with the memory of one of the first few days I’d woken up after a night filled with nothing but Jason. I’d asked him to play a stupid question game, walking away from the one I’d let him ask. We’d both said we were saving our last one for later, but I’d hardly expected then to be the time. The flashback sent a stab of hurt through my stomach.

Jason took in a breath, almost as shaky as my own. “Do you… Do you love me, like you said you did?”

It was like I’d been blind-sided by a train. Tyler let out a string of curses behind us, questioning what had just come from Jason’s mouth. His profanities blurred and my gaze focused on solely Jason, everything else a haze.

My bottom lip quivered. “Do you?”

I realized I’d just used my last question in the same way he had. Ashamed I was even thinking that way after everything that’d happened so quickly, I looked away. I didn’t want an answer for the one thing I’d asked. From everything Jason had done up to this point, I knew the answer, for him, was yes. But the answer I gave him couldn’t be. Not then, probably not even in a world where everything was perfect. I knew I loved him, deep under the pain of Emmett’s murder and Leo’s death. It was insane, shouldn’t have been looked past by me. I couldn’t love Jason.

My eyes fell to my feet. I didn’t give Jason the chance to answer before speaking again.

“Even if I did, I can’t.”

All I could hear was deafening silence, and maybe somewhere far off I could pick out Tyler shouting at both Jason and I. All I could taste was the bitterness my words had left behind. All I could feel was the knife driving deeper into me, a wedge pushing between Jason and I. All I could see was his wounded expression slowly transform into a stony coldness.

I had to get out, or I would suffocate.

Not another word was said as I stumbled to the elevator, wracked by the hurt I’d just been bombarded with. Sam, Tyler, Emmett, Leo, Jason; their faces all fought for my attention when I managed to climb into the slow-moving box, press the button for the ground floor, and lean agains the wall for support. I had to pull myself together, had to hold my chin up at least until I got out of the hospital. That’s what I was raised to do, and that’s how I was going to see this through — push everything to the side so no one could see I was weak.

I rubbed my face and took in a long breath. My fists clenched as they dropped to my sides, a way to control the shaking. I stood up straight and tossed a stray piece of hair behind my shoulder. The screen above the floor selection panel blinked a few more times, telling me I only had a few more seconds until I could leave for my — Leo’s — car. I could do this. I just had to get out before I completely imploded.

The doors opened to a mostly clear lobby. A few people were talking to the woman at the desk while others wheeled patients with IVs attached to their forearms. I crossed my arms and strode out of the elevator, avoiding eye contact with anyone. I felt like if I looked at another person I would break down. I’d been away from people too long, but then again not enough. Everything today had been too much at once.

I was hit with fresh air when I stepped through the large sliding doors. The sky was gray from a small front that’d moved in and a slow wind had built since I’d gone in the night before. It was ironic after all the things I’d been hit with.

My feet carried me to the back of the parking lot, where the car was now between two others. I pulled the key out of my jeans and unlocked it, collapsing into the driver’s side. It hardly took two seconds for my expression to contort in pain and for tears to spring into my eyes. I’d made it past everyone, but I wasn’t fooling myself. I felt torn to shreds as I put my forehead on the steering wheel, closing my eyes in an attempt to hold back the moisture threatening to spill from them. When I didn’t succeed, I caved and let a sob escape my mouth. My hand raised to cover it. I wasn’t willing to hear the first cry I’d had in years.

Chest tightened from emotion, I made a great effort to haul in a breath. I had to calm down, had to get out of the parking lot and away from everyone who reminded me of my pain and mistakes; but where would I go? I couldn’t go back to Markus’s house — there were too many memories there; not Jason’s old house, for obvious reasons. No money in my pocket left me without the option of a motel. Maybe I could find an empty lot, somewhere to park the car so I could sleep in the back seat.

My ringtone blared into the silence, making me jump. It sounded foreign, gone so long from my possession. After wiping my eyes I pulled it from my pocket. An unknown number flashed on the screen, leaving me confused. No one knew my number beside those I gave it to. It was unlisted. My jaw clenched and I inhaled before pressing the “accept” button and holding it to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Honey,” came a voice that made my heart jolt with surprise and anger. Leah.

“How the hell did you get this number,” I growled into the receiver.

“That doesn’t matter right now,” she said smoothly. “I heard you’re back in Poway.”

“And you would like to know, why?” My empty hand squeezed into a fist, nails digging into my palm.

“I figured since Sam was in the hospital, you’d be back. Leo confirmed it for me last night when I called him.” I heard the mock concern in her voice. “You found out about Emmett, then?”

“How do you know about Sam and Emmett?”

“Everyone does. Your group was the biggest threat around with Jason up in Oakland, whether people knew it or not. It got around pretty fast that two junkies put bullets in him; and Emmett? You should’ve seen how much your brother’s popularity blew up when Jason took you from them. It only makes sense that Emmett — the one Jason shot — had a lot of rumors spread about him too, being connected to Sam. When he died, people got cocky and started bragging about who would be the next one to take a stab at Markus and Sam.”

I thought my phone my break in my hold. “Why are you calling me?”

Leah paused dramatically. “I have a proposition.”

“One that I don’t want to hear.” I took the phone away from my ear with the intent of ending the call, but her next words stopped me.

“I know who hurt your brother.”

It took me a long second to decide whether I should stay on the phone or not. I wanted so badly to get back at whoever had put Sam in the hospital. I’d make their lives a living hell. But at the same time, this was Leah. I couldn’t trust her, not after everything Jason had said she was capable of — but then again, what good was his word when he’d been hiding things from me?

“Keep talking,” I snapped.

“I assume you’re in need of a place to stay.”

“Who wants to know?”

“Me,” she replied cooly. “I have a place just outside of Poway.”

“What makes you think I want to stay with you?” My eyes narrowed, though she couldn’t see me.

“I figured you wouldn’t want to stay with the boy you’ve been cheating on, nor the one you’ve been cheating with, but if you have a better option, then–“

I stopped listening when I spotted movement in the rear view mirror. My body froze at the sight of Tyler, jogging and spinning his head frantically. I sunk in the seat, hoping to avoid his vision as my heart pounded, but I knew as soon as his eyes landed on mine in the mirror that I had to leave right then. My chest felt like it held a gaping whole as I rammed the keys in the ignition and started the car while Tyler sprinted toward me.

“Fine!” I shouted into the receiver. I glanced at the gun in the passenger’s seat. “But if you’re just screwing with me, this will end badly for you.”

“Relax,” Leah said, obviously giving me an eye roll. “A small percentage of people don’t lie just for fun.”

“It’s unfortunate that you’re not one of those people.” I threw the car into reverse and turned out of the spot, pushing the car into drive when Tyler was just a few feet away. Wincing, I hit the accelerator pedal and sped away from him, but not before he put a hand on my window. I stared at his print, dying a little on the inside when I heard him call my name but didn’t look back.

“Do you want a place to stay or not?” she said impatiently.

“Yes.”

“Good. I’ll send you the address. Be here in ten minutes.”

The line went dead.

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

This is the end of book 1. Thank you for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I'll be posting in my absence due to surgery. This is a story I've already written for my other website, and thought I'd post it on here. Hope you enjoyed and continue to enjoy! x


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